Naked Grandma

Naked Grandma

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'Change the message': the exhibition celebrating mature women's bodies
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Jacqueline Maley is a columnist. Connect via Twitter or Facebook .
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Women over 50 appear in nude portraits challenging society's - and often, their own - perceptions.
“At this age I am in my glory. I hold a lit chandelier because they throw glory. The fan is for hot flushes, the tattoo reflects making my mark and the flowers for a head and heart full of bloomings.” Credit: Ponch Hawkes
When photographer Ponch Hawkes went looking for images of naked older women on the internet, she found acres of blank space, then a rich vein of what’s termed “granny porn”.
“The whole panorama, from the 50s onwards – there wasn’t anything,” she says. “The odd life model. You are more likely to find a drawing. Then you look more, and you find 500,000 images of ‘Young man f…ing old woman’.”
“I grew up with a sense of shame about my physical appearance. Now I am honouring it, appreciating it, taking care of it. Immersion in a dance and movement practice has finally enabled me to land in my skin.” Credit: Ponch Hawkes
Hawkes hit on this surprising corner of the internet when she was commissioned to take 500 portraits of women over the age of 50 – an act she didn’t recognise as radical until she realised how few such images existed. For a society preoccupied with the female body, interest drops off precipitously after 50. “For every woman, it’s on your mind, the question of body image and body hatred, and there isn’t any material about that for older women.”
The project began as a health initiative, the brainchild of Martha Hickey, a professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at the University of Melbourne and Royal Women’s Hospital. Hickey’s clinical area is menopause, and many of her patients are women facing early menopause.
"I’d recently left a 36-year relationship that involved domestic abuse. I was ready to shed my skin, find myself. I jumped into the Flesh After Fifty project with this force. I removed ‘victim’ and replaced it with a strong woman who loves her body and self. I got my identity back.” Credit: Ponch Hawkes
“I have been struck over the years by how much their fear of becoming an ‘old woman’ added to the distress of the experience,” Hickey says. “Those two words in combination; there is nothing good about them. We really needed to change the message for younger women about what it is to become an older woman.”
Hickey noted that older women “play a hugely important role in society but are largely invisible in art”. So she came up with the idea of Flesh After Fifty , a program of exhibitions, talks, workshops, dinners and films to run over five weeks in Melbourne and, hopefully, later tour regionally and nationally.
“I dance tango, so I know that grace and form are important. Young women’s bodies are all beautiful in the same way, but older women’s bodies are each beautiful in their own individual ways. My public exposure was to lessen the cringe I’d felt about myself: ‘old’ and, ipso facto, uninteresting.” Credit: Ponch Hawkes
The program was so named after a quote from the famous Magnum agency photographer Eve Arnold, who wrote about photographing actress Joan Crawford in New York in the 1950s: “There she was nude – but sadly, something happens to flesh after 50.”
Set in the broader Flesh After Fifty program, the idea for Hawkes’ exhibition, 500 Strong , was to take nude portraits of 500 women. The final count ended up at about 420 after the project took longer than expected and the budget ran out.
“This is the only time I have been photographed naked. So why did I opt to do this? Maybe because no one had ever asked before. Maybe to look at what six decades of use and abuse looks like in my case. Definitely to join in on this great, joyous fleshy statement about being alive.” Credit: Ponch Hawkes
The models were volunteers who came forward after a media call-out; the Country Women’s Association enthusiastically embraced the idea, and Hawkes and her team travelled to Shepparton and Bendigo to photograph residents there.
Women were invited to bring a prop to pose with, and each was given the option of having her face obscured.
“The women who seemed very relaxed talked about how nudity was not an issue in their house when growing up,” Hawkes observes. “Some other women said they hadn’t taken their clothes off in front of anyone for a long time.”
“As I was taking off my clothes in the studio I felt uncomfortable, but I wanted to stand strong and proud with the other women. With the launch of the exhibition, we will explore our diversity, share ideas about identity and sense of ageing self, and how and why we now value our bodies.” Credit: Ponch Hawkes
Says Hickey, who posed for Hawkes herself: “We are hoping an exhibition like this will further reassure and empower women to know there are all kinds of variations of normal.”
Flesh After Fifty runs from March 28 to May 3 at the Abbotsford Convent, Melbourne.
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A 60-year-old grandma has detailed life with her 21-year-old fiance, saying while the bedroom action is great it has cost her in other ways.
A grandmother whose fiance is 39 years her junior has revealed she’s lost friends as a result of her relationship with a younger man.
Pam Shasteen, 60, was devastated when her best friends labelled Jonathan Langevin, 21, “young enough to be her grandson” and told her she “needed therapy”.
Since then, the loved-up US couple, from Tulsa, Oklahoma, have refused to let cruel comments affect them and insist age is just a number, while revealing the sex is “mind-blowing”.
“I still can’t believe my friends of over 30 years couldn’t be happy for me just because Jonathan is 21,” Pam said.
“Jonathan is the love of my life and I don’t care what anyone thinks.”
In February 2018, Pam, a counsellor, received a message from Jonathan, a computer engineering student, on dating app, Badoo.
Despite his bio saying he was 21, Jonathan later admitted to being just 19 years old when the pair started dating.
“I stressed that I was too old for him as I had two daughters in their 30s and I was a grandmother,” Pam said.
“But thankfully, Jonathan admitted he’d always wanted to be with an older woman.”
A week later, Jonathan who lived 1400km away in Minnesota, travelled across the country to meet Pam.
“When I spotted him, he was even more handsome in real life,” she said.
“We ran towards each other and kissed passionately. It was love at first sight.”
That day, while the pair were out sightseeing, they received dirty looks from strangers.
“I heard one woman tell her friend that we looked disgusting and we shouldn’t be together,” Pam said.
“Every person we walked past gave us a horrible look.”
‘WE MADE LOVE AND IT WAS WONDERFUL’
The following night, the pair spent the night together for the first time with Pam describing it as “wonderful”.
“There was very little sleeping done that night,” she said, adding that while Jonathan may have been decades younger, “he wasn’t inexperienced”.
“He knew exactly what he was doing,” she said.
“During the next few nights, we were all over each other. Jonathan was amazing.”
“I felt myself falling for him already.”
The following week after finished packing to head home, Pam admitted she loved him and begged him not to go.
“Jonathan told me he loved me too and agreed to stay,” she said.
“As Jonathan had been living on his friend’s sofa back in Minnesota, he didn’t need to make any arrangements and moved in.”
PAM’S DAUGHTERS MEET HER YOUNGER MAN
The following day, Pam invited her daughters over to meet her new boyfriend.
“Before they arrived I texted them, ‘Just a heads up, he’s 19 and he’s moved in with me.’
“When they arrived, they looked so shocked when they saw Jonathan’s baby-face.
“Jonathan said he hoped they could be friends and hugged them.
“As my daughters and I watched Jonathan play around the house with my six-year-old granddaughter, they admitted they liked him.
“I was relieved to have their blessing.”
Soon after, Jonathan broke the news to his parents, who are both in their 60s.
“They replied saying they knew Jonathan always had a thing for older women so they weren’t surprised,” Pam said.
“They even looked forward to meeting me. I was so relieved.”
Unfortunately for Ms Shasteen, her long-time friends didn’t have the same reaction when they met Jonathan, forcing the 60-year-old to cut them from her life.
“I hoped they’d be happy for me, but instead, they sat in silence and were cold towards Jonathan,” she said.
“A few days later they told me Jonathan was using me.
“Another said he was young enough to be my grandson and that I needed therapy.”
Jonathan proposed in May 2018, after three months of dating.
“I knew it was fast, but I was turning 60 soon and I knew life was for living,” Pam said.
“I’d been waiting all my life to meet my soulmate and he was right in front of me.”
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