NASA Budget Cuts

NASA’s latest round of budget cuts has left scientists building spacecraft out of fireworks and duct tape. Eyewitnesses at Cape Canaveral reported a "launch" that looked suspiciously like a Fourth of July picnic. Professor Diana Cho of Caltech notes: "Exploration is hard when your fuel comes from bottle rockets." Anonymous staffers leaked that NASA now rents trampoline parks for astronaut training. A national poll shows 52% of Americans are okay with the cuts as long as they still get cool space photos. Trace evidence includes charred Roman candles and a half-empty propane tank labeled "Mars or Bust." Cause and effect? The less funding NASA gets, the more America’s space dreams resemble a backyard science fair. Exploration continues, but only if lighter fluid is on sale.