My Wife With Another Woman

My Wife With Another Woman
I have been married for 17 years, I just recently discovered that my wife has been in a relationship with another woman for 2 years. This woman has been friends with my wife for a very long time, 30 plus years. She is also married with kids.

I considered our marriage to be strong until I found out the secret life. The big problem I have with our relationship is trust, I do not trust her and how do I go on in life not trusting the person I love. I always put the kids before myself, therefore I'm pretty certain I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship, like having an affair. The funny thing about this situation is that she see’s nothing wrong with it and I have nothing to be worried about. Her friend is happily married and so are we and she do not see herself with anyone else but me. It’s just two girls having a little sexual fun sending pictures and videos to each other and writing stories about what one is going to do with the other. Am I being selfish, by feeling betrayed, jealous and let down? Will time repair the hurt in my heart. Can I live with this situation? I feel like I wan’t to go out and have an affair of my own, but what problems will this cause? I just wish I had someone I could trust and talk to, but this situation is so sensitive I have no idea how to handle it. I am lost…..
You said, "Am I being selfish, by feeling betrayed, jealous and let down? Will time repair the hurt in my heart. Can I live with this situation? I feel like I wan’t to go out and have an affair of my own, but what problems will this cause? I just wish I had someone I could trust and talk to, but this situation is so sensitive I have no idea how to handle it. I am lost….."

All of that is not a question, it is the question.

Two things: 1. My wife probably had 1,500 instances with affairs. When we were dating, she let me know she was having sex with another guy. I was hurt at first, but then learned to live with it. She was sexually abused, and sex was all she knew.

She would even give me details of her dates with this guy, and I got to where I couldn't get excited until I was hearing them again from her. Me having sex with her was not exciting. Her having sex with him, and the amount she enjoyed it, was a real turn-on.

When we got married, I found after 7 years, she was having affairs within 60 days of the ceremony. If I didn't know who it was, would she have told me about him like she did when we were single? Since I couldn't retaliate, would she have told me about him, and we work it into our relationship as we did when we were single?

That's what I often wonder about.

As it was, I found out she was having an affair, but she wouldn't acknowledge that, so we went to war over it.

As it was, we had some decades of war, very stressful. But she couldn't reveal, because I knew one of the people.

My point is, would it have been easier on me if she had told me, and I participated, fantasy, in her affairs, which she enjoyed talking about when we were dating, and I learned to enjoy hearing, because it was going to happen anyway.

The way it was, it was very stressful. Would it have been easier if she let me now and we fantasize about it?

We had a child, also, and I stayed for the child, for one thing. When he grew up, I stayed for the house we were buying and then almost paid for, for a 2nd thing. Third, I had emotional problems, could not hold a job, and financially, could not have made it on my own.

In a way, there is no answer. Once the child is born, there is no answer.

My mother was a lesbian, and my father knew my mother was seeing another woman, so he went through the same thing. I'm glad he stayed, we had a decent home life, he just got upset when she'd come back from a 2 or 3 day visit with her out of town lover. She would work it into a children/wife visiting "Mrs. Jones" friend of family type of thing.

We kids would catch a movie with her kids while they enjoyed their visit.

I don't know how my father dealt with it but he did. I don't know how I dealt with my wife cheating. I don't how you'll deal with your wife cheating. Look at it like she's playing golf. If she can bring you into the fantasy, maybe that would work. It worked when my wife and I were dating.

I "forced" my wife to see a marriage counselor with me./ After the first visit, when we got home, she let me know she was fantazing about screwing the marriage counselor. We did that 2 times a day, for a week.

Question is, if I knew she was having an affair, and she came home almost 2 hours late from work, and I would know where she had been, and she let me know that's where she had been, could we have worked it into a fantasy? It couldn't have been any worse than what it was, war.

I didn't want to have an affair. So retaliation was not for me. I enjoyed her enjoying having sex, when we were single. Could she get into any fantasies with you about the situation? Since you know who she is, she doesn't have anytning to guard, could she give some details? Would you enjoy that? In my fantasies, I would.

Look at it like she was playing golf, ask her how her round was. Ask her how she did on the first hole. It's not a man.
I think the big issue here is that your wife did not take you into account when she did this. She just assumed it was alright, but you are uncomfortable with this arrangement.

For the sake of perspective on this particular situation, I'll inject a temporary moment of opinion into this commentary - hope you don't mind. As a straight male, personally I think I would like the idea of my (hypothetical) wife being with another woman. But I see where it could get kind of odd if you didn't find the other woman to be very attractive, and it must be really kind of awkward because this other woman has a husband and now it's like there's the whole 'other partners' thing coming into play.

I'm a little confused about the specifics of this affair, however. I'm not asking for specifics, but based off of your description she and the friend exchange pictures and videos, and write naughty things to each other. And this has been going on for 2 years, and you only recently learned about it. So it sounds like there is no touching or sexual contact of any kind involved. I'm not saying that makes your discomfort with this situation invalid, but it's a bit less risque than it could be.

I could still see your concern. Your wife is taking and sending naked picture and video of herself. Her friend sees it, her husband may even see it. Depending on how she sends it, maybe lots of other people are seeing them, too. Have you gotten to see any of the things that have been exchanged, at least?

One thing I have to wonder about, is if there were ever any signs that your wife might be the type of woman who would do this sort of thing. I know women can be really unpredictable, trust me - my ex, I never really saw a lot of the stuff coming that she ended up saying and doing. It's like they can turn into totally different people! And not to put the blame all on you, but maybe you walked into this a little yourself if you noticed that you married a flirty, kinky woman who seemed interested in this sort of thing.

I think having an affair might be an overreaction - especially if she has never had sexual contact with this woman. It might not be out of the question to start exchanging nude pictures and flirting with some other woman. You could probably even do what your wife does with this woman - hey, your wife did it, so why can't you? ;) And your wife would have absolutely no room to get jealous, since after all, she started it. You could probably just start doing that with any woman you know, but be warned - women usually don't find the male body to be that exciting either.

I'm starting to pander here a bit, so let me just finish strong with a final thought:

What your wife did was unfair, you are right about that. Without your consent, she basically has taken your private life outside of the bedroom. It's up to you to decide whether you are comfortable with this arrangement and want to support (and maybe even join) her, or else to confront her and get her to stop. Only you can determine how much this situation is effecting your relationship with your wife. To her, maybe she doesn't even view this the way you do. I'd talk about it with her.
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I wouldn’t mind that kinda of threesome one bit!

Would just like to watch a woman I’m with please and get pleased by another woman. I don’t need to touch or be touched by the other woman since I would already have a woman to fuck.
Exactly. I don’t want my wife fooling around with another man, and I’m perfectly fine not fooling around with another woman. It would make me sick to my stomach to see my wife with another man, but I’ve fantasized about her being with another woman, and I’m thrilled that we got to experience it. The hottest part was when the other woman straddled my wife’s face while I was eating my wife’s pussy. And of course, cumming on her face while the other woman watched was amazing.

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For me, a FFM without giving both women equal attention is kind of boring.

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My wife told me this story years ago. When she was a call girl in Vegas, a dwarf or Midget was a customer several times for her. Good paying and huge dick she said. On one occasion he had another call girl waiting when my wife entered the motel room.

He said, today I want you two to have sex in front of me while I am naked. Well they did and my wife almost fell in love. She has been bi and leaning more toward lesbian ever since. She is afraid to have a gay affair because she said there would be a chance she would leave me.

I said, "the door is always open and you have a free will. If you do, it was meant to be. Live your life freely my love."

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I'm with you,but also it would be hard to separate from a woman like her

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Discussion in ' Free Love ' started by JM01 , Mar 14, 2021 .

August 13, 2021 July 18, 2022 |
Amol Ahlawat

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Signs your wife is sleeping with someone else
Amol Ahlawat holds a degree in journalism and has been writing about all things relationships, lifestyle, travel, tech and everything under the sun. With a keen interest in human psychology and relationships, he makes sure to impart valuable information validated by experts, to help those anxiously Googling their troubles. Whenever he can, he aims to add a pinch of humor to whatever he writes.
all about love and couple relationships in their varied forms. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. We’re your one-stop destination for unraveling the mystery that is love.
When something fishy is going on in your relationship, chances are, you can just feel it. Although it’s also fairly easy to misconstrue odd behavior as cheating, that gut feeling is spot on more often than not. Once you spell your fears out loud, you’ll realize most of them make sense in your head. With this list of ’10 signs your wife just slept with someone else’ that we’ve drawn up, things should get easier to spot.
When you’re trying to figure out how to tell if a girl is lying about sleeping with someone, your paranoia and desperation might make you take drastic steps. But you don’t want to ruin your relationship with a baseless accusation either, right? Especially if you’re married. Until you gather conclusive evidence to verify all the physical signs your wife just slept with someone else, you have to hold on to your patience.
Don’t worry, we are not asking you to wait forever. As you know, the best way to figure out if you’re being cheated on is by confronting your partner. But if you want to catch the signs your wife just slept with someone else before you have that confrontational conversation, we’re here to help you out.
Let’s be clear about one thing from the get-go: You can never be 100% sure about infidelity just by anticipating and assuming. Either confront your partner about your suspicions (something we recommend) or gather irrefutable evidence. Finding out if she’s cheating on you online might be one of them. Don’t go about stalking your partner trying to gather your ‘evidence’ though. Ask her about it if your suspicions just won’t let you be at peace. Or you can keep an eye out for the signs your wife is sleeping with someone else to the point where you catch her in the act.
There are a few characteristics of a cheating woman you can catch if you look for them in the right places. And no, your wife taking some other guy’s name a grand total of one time while dreaming does not qualify as a sign your wife likes another man. There’s a fine line between catching physical signs your wife is cheating and just being a paranoid mess and accusing her of something she’s not guilty of.
You are saying, “I think my wife is cheating on me.” Fair enough. She must have given you some reasons to feel this way. But if your insecurities are stemming solely from unjust jealousy, neither we nor anyone else can help you. Hence, knowing exactly what to look for is important. The reason you’ll be able to spot those signs is that if your wife has slept with another man, she has already emotionally checked out of your relationship.
According to studies , a married woman has multiple partners to supplement her primary relationship, not to end it. However, that still means that the emotional connection is yet to wane off, leading to a myriad of signs you can be on the lookout for. So, if thoughts like “Did my wife sleep with someone else?” have been weighing heavy on your mind, buckle in. Read the following signs with an open, unbiased mind and see if the following 10 signs your wife just slept with someone else apply to your situation or not.
In most relationships, your partner’s phone is always off-limits unless you’ve both discussed otherwise. However, if in the past, you’d been able to use your SO’s phone to place an order or to Google something, but now it feels like she protects her phone more than the president’s bodyguards ever bothered to protect the prez himself, it’s a cause for concern.
If her passcode has gone from a 4-digit pin to what now seems like nuclear launch codes, you know something could be up. She might go into a panic and grab her phone away from you when she sees you anywhere near it. Wherever she goes, the phone goes along – be it in the kitchen or the bathroom!
The differences will be easy to spot since she didn’t have much to care about before. If a woman is lying about sleeping with someone , her phone will hold all the secrets. So she’ll act like it’s an explosive device that will self-destruct the minute your hands get on it.
If you’re looking to answer “How can you tell if your wife has slept with someone else?”, try to notice if her phone has gone from being a paperweight to a top-secret FBI technology that must be protected at all costs. We are sure you have no intention of invading your wife’s privacy. But in a situation like this, playing a little sneaky won’t clear your way to hell.
The characteristics of a cheating woman can often include her lying to you about a lot of things every day. They might be as simple as where she was throughout the day or other white lies about who she was with. Maintaining your sanity if your partner is a compulsive liar will put you to the test, as you’ll soon find out.
While talking about signs of wife sleeping with someone else, my friend David once said, “I was frustrated with my wife blatantly lying to my face every single day. The worst part was she would get highly defensive over trivial matters or the moment she felt cornered. I don’t know how long she thought she could get away with this. I had to finally confront her for the sake of my mental peace.”
If you’re able to catch a lie or two, there’s no doubt your mind will rush toward thinking there’s something quite wrong. When you’re figuring out how to tell if a girl is lying about sleeping with someone, try to notice if she goes into extreme details about something you know is a lie, or tries to completely dismiss an important topic. While this in itself doesn’t ascertain infidelity, white lies coupled with tell-tale physical signs your wife is cheating definitely warrant your attention.
While we are on the subject of physical signs your wife is cheating, there’s no better sign than the signals her body language sends you. Unfortunately, for cheaters, controlling their body language while lying is extremely har
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