My Wife Likes Anal Sex

My Wife Likes Anal Sex

By Michael Castleman January 10, 2016
February 17th, 2020

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Confused, does my wife want anal?

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Wife does not like sex toys

My wife was brought up very conservatively. When we met, we didn’t talk much about sex. She thought that anything other than vanilla, missionary sex was wrong, and early in our relationship, didn’t even want any foreplay or lube.
However, over the years, as our relationship has grown, we have gradually introduced new things into our sex life and now have a great marriage and good sex. But I have always kind of had to guess what she really wants in bed. When I ask, she just says that what we’re doing now is o.k. We have lots of foreplay, occasionally use sex toys, enjoy intercourse in different positions, and my wife loves it when I give her oral. She prefers sex from behind so that I can reach around and stimulate her clitoris.
Last night I was stimulating her clit and she put my penis between her butt cheeks, I was thrusting gently and she was enjoying it and obviously getting very moist inside. Then she said , “Oh I’m very nervous. Shall we use some lube.” So I applied some lube to her and to myself. At this point I assumed she wanted to try anal sex. So we continued as before and gradually I worked my penis towards her anus. She liked it and was getting excited, but then when I entered her she said, “I’m not interested in anything like that.” So I pulled out and we stopped.
I had a completely sleepless night last night. I really don’t know what to do. I can’t work out if I merely misread the situation, which is what I told my wife last night, or if she wanted anal but then didn’t like it, or if she is playing some kind of game with me. I take no as no but I am kind of lost as to how to progress. Help please.
In the best of all possible worlds, you and your wife would sit down and discuss her level of interest in anal play. Unfortunately, this is not the best world and from what you say, she’s unlikely to feel open to discussing the nitty gritty of sex, especially something out of the ordinary like anal.
Here’s what I suggest: First, read my article, Anal Play—Without Pain . It should provide all the background you need to experiment with her back door in mutual comfort and love. When the subject of anal sex comes up, most people assume it involves penis-anus intercourse. Actually, that’s the LEAST popular form of anal play. Most people who play this way limit themselves to outer anal sphincter massage or shallow fingering. And among those who proceed to anal intercourse, most get there slowly over a good deal of time starting with sphincter massage and fingering.
My advice: Lube a finger and see how she feels about gentle sphincter massage with no insertion at all. The outer anal sphincter is filled with touch-sensitive nerves and many people who don’t care for insertive anal play enjoy gentle outer sphincter massage.
If she’s okay with that, after several months, you might try gently inserting a finger about half an inch until you reach her inner sphincter. Compared with the outer, the inner one is harder to relax, and pushing through it often causes sharp pain that turns people off to anal play, so approach her inner sphincter but don’t push through it for at least several more months until she’s comfortable with shallow fingering. She may never become comfortable with shallow fingering, and if she does, she may never feel comfortable with fingering that crosses her inner sphincter. Nonetheless, you both may enjoy great pleasure from outer sphincter massage and possibly shallow fingering. You might also try oral-anal play (rimming, analingus)— read my article .
Down the road, like after a year or more of outer opening massage, analingus, and shallow fingering, she might possibly feel open to deeper fingering or insertion of a small butt plug. And if she’s into that, then after a while, you might try penis-anal intercourse.
But as I mentioned, even among those enthusiastic about anal play, anal intercourse is not very popular (except in porn, which is fantasy). Most people limit themselves to well lubed outer sphincter massage and shallow fingering. My article on anal play provides more information and advice. Hope it helps.
I didn’t know there was an inner sphincter too. I also have had fantasies of giving or receiving it in the anus, but the idea of a full-sized dildo in there is sometimes a turn-off because, well, it’s just too big. But the erotic vulnerability of it still has an appeal. I like the idea of a very shallow (short) strap-on, and the notion that only the outer sphincter can be involved is very appealing.
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8 Women Who’ve Tried Anal Sex Describe What It’s Actually Like
Anal sex can be good, or seriously cringe-worthy. - by Zahra Barnes
“For me, being penetrated during anal sex can be a little sore during insertion and in the first few minutes. Lots of lube, slow, gentle motions, and patience move it quickly to the next phase, which is an exciting, pleasurable pressure. I find that I can have stronger orgasms while being penetrated anally, but these are clitoral or vaginal orgasms, not anal orgasms – those are quite elusive. For me, it’s probably the added stimulation, the intimacy, and the emotional intensity of anal that make orgasms stronger. But if the angle is wrong in anal sex, with too much of a sharp upward or downward angle, a sting-y and unpleasant pain can be the result. Having the right angle of entry is important for me. Also, pegging someone with a strap-on can be very pleasurable with an insert-able double-ended dildo, or even just the harness or base of the strap-on grinding up against the clitoris.” — Margaret C.

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For some women out there, anal action is the cherry on top of the sex version of an ice cream sundae: a little extra delight that completes something that was already delicious on its own.
But for others, it’s more like pâté: intriguing enough, worth a try, but absolutely not up their alleys (as in, a penis will probably not be going up that alley ever again). We got women who fall on various parts of the anal sex spectrum to share exactly what it feels like during the act. Read on for their informative – and sometimes hilarious – opinions.
“If you’re backed up or on an empty stomach , it sucks. You definitely feel like you’re going to poop, either all over yourself or on his d*ck. But if you’re not and you do it nice and slowly, it’s euphoric. It’s different from regular sex because it feels like he’s going way deeper. Anal doesn’t help me orgasm more easily, though.” — Madeline R.
“I was always afraid it would hurt, but anal sex actually isn’t so much painful as it is uncomfortable. But! The discomfort is so extreme for some people that they can barely do it – like my best friend, who’s tried a few times with her fiancé and barely gotten it in, no matter how much lube they use. The key, apparently, is to be relaxed, which you really aren’t gonna be – in fact, knowing it’s about to happen will make you tense up more than usual – unless you happen to love it. I…do not love it, but my boyfriend is super into it, and he’s very respectful and lovely about not pressuring me. We maybe do it once every couple of months. I’m usually a little tipsy, which helps with the relaxation part and makes the whole thing a little easier. He’s a big advocate of using a buttplug beforehand to ‘loosen everything up,’ which may or may not work, but just draws it out more than I’d like.” — Anna B.
“It’s not the worst thing ever, but kind of like the same way flossing isn’t the worst thing ever. There’s nothing fun about it for me. It’s not that it’s painful, it’s just mildly uncomfortable and really not my thing.” — Jo R.
“I used to be obsessed with anal. At one point in high school, I was having more anal than regular sex. When done right – and by right I mean when the guy doesn’t shove his d*ck into you like a horse in heat – anal can teeter on that dangerous line between pleasure and pain. He feels bigger than ever and completely fills you up. As he’s going in, you have to hold your breath because you feel like your body doesn’t have room for air and his d*ck at the same time, but once he’s in, the pleasure radiates through your whole body. One time, however, my boyfriend and I were walking around my neighbourhood and fighting, as per usual. After coming to no resolution at all, we decided to agree to disagree and, of course, have hate sex next to a neighbour’s house in broad daylight. He pulled down my shorts and without any warning or lube, shoved it up there like he was stuffing a cannon to launch it against his worst enemy. I screamed, ‘TAKE IT OUT TAKE IT OUT TAKE IT OUT!!!’ Once he was out, I had to pull up my shorts, squat down on the floor, and meditate so I wouldn’t sh*t all over the grass. It literally felt like he was pulling out my insides along with his penis. The moral of the story: Hate sex is hot, but hate anal leads to pain and explosive diarrhoea.” — Nina T.
“I tried it once a long time ago. The guy I was seeing wanted to do it, and I was resistant but eventually gave in. He tried to put it in, but it just hurt too much. I don’t think he used lube, and it’s just really tight. Maybe I’d do it again with the right person if I had a lot of trust in him. Either way, it’s not something at the top of my list.” — Clara A.
“Amusingly, my first sexual intercourse was via anal penetration. My high school sweetheart was raised strictly Catholic and was ‘saving it for marriage.’ While I was disinterested in this wait time, he did explain that anal sex didn’t count since it couldn’t lead to procreation. His being exceedingly well-endowed made taking it slowly and using plenty of lube the obvious choice. The oddest thing I noticed was that the initial penetration would generate a tight sensation in my throat, similar to what you might feel after a bad scare. But it was an exciting feeling, not scary at all. It’s a slow but pleasantly luxurious sensation of being gently and benignly pulled inside out. It certainly was extremely erotic, and I felt aware of my entire body as an erogenous zone. I discovered I was able to orgasm via anal penetration, and anal play is something I enjoy to this day.” — Mollena W.
“The key to good anal – yes, that’s a thing – is having a partner you trust completely and who will do it right. That means lots of lube, start small with a pinky finger just like in Fifty Shades , then work your way up to small toys or butt plugs. After that, anal can be amazing! It is super intense, and your lover has to be extremely delicate and careful and be a good listener and super patient—and you as the receiver have to have a lot of trust in that. Because the anus is, after all, an exit, not an entrance, and so it could really, really hurt. This is not an act that should ever be undertaken with a random dude or at a random moment; you both have to want it, and you both have to be prepared. No assholes allowed in the asshole! I think that’s one of the best parts of the whole ordeal. It takes so much time, trust, and communication that it just amplifies everything physical going on because you are so connected with your partner.” — Tess N.
This article was originally published on Women’s Health US
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By Guest | 118 posts, last post 6 days ago

Sasa Milosevic, MD
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Health Risks Related To Anal Sex

My girlfriend loves anal sex much much more than conventional sex. We are both very sexually active but she always wants anal and gets off much more on this, give me a hand girls is this normal? im not complaining but i like the pink too!!!!!!!!!!

some girls preffer anal over normal. They are obviously going to want something that makes them cum more often. Also consider that there are FAR more nerve endings in the anus than the vagina, hence why she is enjoying more.

Personally I dont enjoy giving my girl anal, but she likes it, so once in awhile I will go with it.

Cant say whether this is "normal" for girls as some like it , some love it, so hate it conpletly. Depends on the girl.

Are we talking about the same girl??? %-)

XD

Now seriously.... I enjoy it too but I'm worried because I don't know if this will be harmful to her anus/rectum. We are doing anal about 4 times a week. Does any body knows if she can have hemorroids or any other condition because of this?

Too much anal sex? My wife and I have been having anal sex about five times a week for 14 years. Neither of us have ever had a problem as a result. I even talked to three doctors regarding anal sex and all told me it was perfectly safe as long as both partners are disease free and the receptive partner doesn't experience anything more than minor pain.

The reason for so much anal sex is that we both prefer it. After trying anal sex, we rarely had vaginal sex. Now, we haven't had vaginal sex in over eight months.

There's a lot of guys that would kill to be in our position. My advice? Enjoy, most men don't get to try anal more than once or twice.

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