My Wife Is A Slut Stories
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My Wife Is A Slut Stories
An Oregon High School Student’s Story
© 2021 The When You\'re Ready Project
The first time I was raped I was 16 years old. The night exists for me in a series of flash-bulb images that I can neither piece together nor erase from my memory, despite years of trying. I’m still not sure if it was my fault, even though I know it wasn’t.
I don’t think about it very often anymore, but every few years I revisit the spiral of shame, and guilt.
My last clear memory was stumbling away from the crowd, looking for a place to sleep. I was drunk… really drunk. I was being a typical teenager: acting out, rebelling – trying to distance myself from a goody-two-shoes image. Before that night, I had only been to a couple of parties, most of my wild stories were embellishments. My parents were known for being strict, so I didn’t get invited out very often. I w anted desperately to be part of the cool, older crowd who drank and smoked cigarettes. I was thrilled to be at the party, drinking cans of Coors and tossing them in the back yard of the kid whose parents were out of town. I realized m y ride had left without me, I was feeling sick and disoriented and needed to sleep until I could walk home. I found an empty bed, it was a child’s bedroom, I was going to lie down for just a few minutes.
I’m awake and it’s dark. He is inside me. I feel sick. Who is on top of me? “What are you doing?” He grunts. I try to push him away but my arms are weak. “I don’t want to.” I try to pull my underwear up, they’re around my knees. He pins my arm down. “Please.” “Shhh.” “I’m going to be sick.” “Shhh.” He’s getting angry. There’s a crack in the door and I can see wood paneling in the hallway. He finishes on the child’s bed, next to me. He wasn’t wearing a condom. He gets up and walks out. I want to run away, but I’m ashamed and I don’t want anyone to see me. I cry myself to sleep.
I’ve known my rapist since childhood. He was one of the cool kids at my school, a popular jock who was older than me. The next morning, his friend called me a slut and said “don’t worry, I won’t tell his girlfriend.” His girlfriend found out, and soon everyone had heard what a slut I was. Somehow I was more comfortable with being a slut than with being raped, so I accepted it.
And I never told anyone, until now.
I’m afraid to tell my parents. I’m afraid my step-father will read this, figure out who it was, and confront my rapist. I’m nervous about how he’ll feel when he realizes he inadvertently teased me about the events that happened after that night. I forgave him but I’m afraid he won’t forgive himself.
I’m afraid the people in my home town will call me a liar, and judge my parents. I live 3000 miles away now, but my family will have to deal with the backlash.
I’m afraid for my rapist’s wife and children.
But today I’m facing those fears, as much as I can handle at a time. Today, this blog is the beginning of an idea that may or not become big. It’s still anonymous, but that’s okay. It’s all I’m ready for, just yet.
When you’re ready, and want to share, I’m here. We’ll do this together.
When You're Ready.org is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories.
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Sounds like a fake story. Sorry, pretty cliche.
I think it sounds pretty fake but even though it might not be fake, nobody has to experience that, but my real question is why would you feel ok if people call you a slut. If I were you I wouldn’t like people calling me a slut, etc.
The When You're Ready Project is a community for survivors of sexual violence to share their stories and have their voices heard, finding strength in one another. When you're ready to share your story, we'll be here.
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My husband and I have a fairly traditional marriage. I stay home with the kids and he goes out into the world and “slays dragons.” (Well, he works for the local gas and water company, but “slays dragons” sounds more edgy, doesn’t it?) We are your typical chaotic family.
On any given day, I’m breaking up sibling squabbles, staring into my pantry to see if the “dinner fairy” has again overlooked me, and trying to tame the calendar. Oh, I also clean up the dog poop. Besides his regular job, my husband juggles his fair share of home responsibilities, too — cars, lawns, broken stuff, clogged pipes and precarious “about to fall” tree limbs. In addition to all this, we care for two elderly family members.
My husband and I are Christians and therefore I believe that it is my calling to be a “submissive” wife. So, what does submission look like for me? I am submissive in that while my husband and I openly discuss all major decisions that impact our family, I ultimately yield to his decisions. We agree on some things; we disagree on others. That’s marriage, but when it comes down to deciding time, I defer to him.
Certainly submission does not mean going against what I believe is right or moral. For example, if a husband tells his wife she should “steal,” then she would be completely justified in not submitting to him. And submission absolutely does not mean a woman should overlook abuse (either of herself or her children).
But I do seek my husband’s advice and opinion and defer to him on many decisions. I believe that he is the head of the house and I respect his leadership role. This isn’t hard for me. I am fortunate to have a husband who “loves his wife as Christ loved the church,” which is part of a verse from the Bible (Ephesians 5:21-32) that instructs husbands to care for their wives.
So, despite what many people think, submission for me is not so hard. The life of a submissive wife is a daily reality for many Christian couples. And I wouldn’t exchange roles for anything. In fact, our traditional roles and Christian values have led to a great sex life.
So what does this have to do with sex?
Let me clarify that when I say “submission” in regards to sexual intimacy, I am not talking about a wife automatically doing whatever her husband wants sexually, especially if what he wants flies in the face of what the Bible commands. For example, if your husband wants to have a threesome or wants you to view pornography, this would be adulterous, which certainly is outside the bounds of God’s design for sex.
If, on the other hand, your husband simply wants to try a new position or add some variety, I urge you to not instantly say “no” without some legitimate discussion and prayer.
The Christian model for a marriage encourages women to be modest, but that doesn’t inhibit us from sexual expression with our husbands. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, God says that husbands and wives should not withhold their bodies from each other. Sexual intimacy is a mutually-shared endeavor, where both the husband and wife bear responsibility. And let’s not forget, orgasms were designed by God. And orgasms feel really, really good.
Odds are that because the clitoris is a bit less predictable than the penis, your husband is going to need your help in understanding what it is going to take to make you climax. This is where sexual confidence can strengthen your marriage. You both need to learn with each other and from each other what arousal looks like for each of you.
Because I submit to my husband, I feel confident in his care and love and this gives me sexual confidence as well. We have a mutual sense of safety and trust that can’t help but lead to great sex. I believe God gives good gifts to married couples to be savored and enjoyed, not ignored and treated carelessly. My husband and I do enjoy a tremendously satisfying sex life, because we have grown in our sexual confidence and because we are secure in our roles for our marriage.
Another way that submissiveness outside of bed lends itself well in bed is that my husband and I have grown in our vulnerability. Without a doubt, because I am a submissive wife and my husband “loves me as Christ loved the church,” we have really learned to listen to each other with respect. This equips us to be able to say what we like sexually and to really listen to one another.
We have a foundation that allows us to be able to say when we make love, “I like it when you (fill in the blank with random exciting sexual details).” It’s so reassuring to have that kind of vulnerability that leads to great sex!
All too often, people think that a good Christian wife isn’t sexually confident; however, following the traditional plan for marriage that God has outlined in the Bible has given me an immense confidence not only in bed, but in my husband’s love and care for me.
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By Jorge, 10 years ago on Being Married
Well one day my wife aked me if she could go to the club with her friends t...
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Well one day my wife aked me if she could go to the club with her friends to celebrate a graduation and I said ok but before that I notice that she wanted to drink more often so that might she went out she dissent come home till 5:00am and the next day she woke up hung over so it kind of concerned me because she can't handle liquor well so the next day I felt something was wrong so I went up to her and asked what happend and she said nothing happened I was worried because she's been coming home and leaving with a friend to go make jewelry and wasn't cleaning or feeding our kids seems the jewelry was more inportent so the next day after me feeling her distant I asked her if she could please start helping me clean and feed the kids befor leaving and she got mad saying that she does clean which she wasn't helping so while we were discussing that situation I brought up another one about her sister adding my wife's first the guy she first slept with on face book a problem that happend about 2 years ago but I felt insecure that my wife added her on face book agin after she deleted her because of that situation well it runs out that guy tryed to add my mother in law and a nother sister in law of mine that's why I felt insecure aboUut her having her sister on face book even tho my wife said that guy has been deleted don't worry it still was on my mind cause I didn't trust her sister so I told my wife that it's bothering me that her sister is on face book and as her husband cans she please delet her and she said no no no so I said its ether me or he and she said I choose herso that's how she ended our merrage but she tells me it's all the arguing in the past years what's really going on is it me or her she has new Frieda **** well so next day after she broke it off she said she is moving and wanted me to terminate our contract at the apartments and she seperated our cell phone contracts what's going on
Jorge I think she is done with the relationship. How do you feel about all this? If you are not there, Who will watch the children when she goes to her "jewelry classes"?
Yeah I she tells me she is done but I still try to convince her to try to work things out that I can change my ways I wasn't really that bad of a person just in the past with our arguments when they would get bad but as I'm getting older I'm changing don't want it to end cause I want my family together that's the only thing with me is my anger and our arguments but she has no respect for me the very next weekend she starred going out she keeps the car she wanted me to leaver her the apartment so she can get a roommate and I told her if she could please not move in a guy because of my lil girls and says it don't concern me she can do what ever she wants to do things like that she would take the girls with her or I'll take care of them or her mom so she can make jewelry
I feel like she gave up to easy she never seeked for me to stop me she would only tell me one thing tho that crosses my mind is how can you stop loving somebody overnight we have a 7 month old baby that don't even help not even the good memories and we have afour year old
Is there anyway to get your wife back?
You deserve better she doesn't want to be married. I think you should move on let her goand when she sees the masteak she made don't take her back.
You speak like you are about 5 years old. Are you mentally unstable? I see why she left you. It is because you are an idiot.
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