My Wife Cheated Me

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My Wife Cheated on Me – What Should I Do?

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.

How to handle my emotions- My wife cheated on me; what should I do?
No man would like to discover that his wife cheated on him. For some, their world could crumble because they didn’t expect it. When some men ask, “How would I cope if my wife cheated on me ?” That’s because it must have been difficult to process the thoughts and emotions that come with the situation.
If you have just found out that your wife cheated on you, or even suspect that she is cheating on you, you might want to know more insights, and understand why this is happening. Read on to know the various reasons people cheat, and how to move forward from this roadblock in your marriage. 
There could be various reasons why women cheat on their husbands, and this is an aspect worth delving into. In this article, we will be showing husbands possible ways to recover from the shock of cheating, what to do with a cheating wife and how to forgive a cheating wife and move on.
In addition, for husbands who are willing to give their cheating wives another chance to make things right, we will provide guides on the right steps to take.                             
Camp and Taylor from the University of Arizona give a broad perspective in their journal on cheating in romantic relationships, which is worth checking out.
When a wife cheats on her husband, he might feel embarrassed, betrayed , heartbroken, and angry. The husband might question several things about his marriage and life, and it would look like the end of the journey for him.
Handling your emotions and regaining your self-control when you find your wife cheating is difficult. However, as per Relationship therapist, Dr. Martin Roswell’s book on the subject titled “My Wife Cheated on Me,” you can regain self-control and overcome your wife’s betrayal.
It is important to mention that when you find your wife cheating, try not to act hastily. Instead, be sure to use the tips below to keep yourself in check.
“ My wife cheated on me …I must have done something wrong to deserve this.” This is one of the first thoughts of a partner who has been at the receiving end of a cheating partner, but it doesn’t mean that it’s a fact.
If you wonder what to do when your wife cheats on you with another man, the primary step is to quit blaming yourself if you’ve started. Cheating wives may give different reasons for their inactions which will most likely involve you in the blame game . However, irrespective of these reasons, know that it is not your fault.      
You need to think about how your family and friends will react when they discover you made that rash decision. While you are thinking of the next step to take, keep the cheating details to yourself.
While you figure out how to deal with a cheating spouse, the reality of what happened can take its toll on you. 
Hence, you should help yourself by implementing health measures like exercise, sleep during regular hours, eating healthy meals, and taking lots of water.
It is a herculean task to cope with the reality of cheating by yourself. Therefore, if you feel the need, seek professional counseling, preferably from a marriage counselor . The beauty about seeing a counselor is, they will be there for you from the start to when you can cope by yourself.
A marriage counselor helps you gain deep insight into the issue. And you will be able to discuss with your partner while keeping your emotions in check.     
If your wife has been unfaithful to you , it is important to ask yourself some questions that will help you determine if you wish to and should stay in your marriage or not. Am I staying in the marriage because I don’t want to be alone?
If you are deciding whether to get back with your partner or not, this question is crucial. First, ensure you are not staying in the marriage because you are afraid of being alone.
When confronting a cheater, forgiveness is one hard nut to crack. 
First, you have to be sure if your wife deserves your forgiveness or not. Did your wife confess the cheating to you, or did you find out yourself? 
If you notice your wife feels no remorse about her actions, she might not be sorry at all and might cheat again. Hence, forgive her and leave the marriage .
If your answer to this question is yes, you need to know why you want to stay in the marriage . 
Ensure your reasons for not leaving the marriage are not dependent on your insecurities and fears.  
Cheating is a violation of the agreed-upon boundaries set in a monogamous relationship or marriage. In this scenario, when a woman cheats, she has violated the established rules and boundaries. 
Therefore when you want to confront your wife, you should do it maturely because two wrongs cannot make a right.       
“ My wife cheated on me, and I can’t stop thinking about it.” If that’s your state of mind, then here are some things to look into when confronting your cheating wife.                            
When you want to confront and deal with a cheating wife, pick a private place. If you have children, ensure they are not around when you are discussing this with your wife.
There are some marriages where the wife cheats and the husband forgives and accepts her back if they mutually decide to do so. 
Hence, if you are open to forgiving your cheating wife, don’t approach the confrontation with assumption. Instead, discuss it with her with an open mind.
When you want to confront a cheating wife, you need to have accurate facts. 
If your accusation is baseless, she could end up denying it. However, when you are well-informed, it will be impossible for her to deny it.          
When trying to get back at a cheating wife by confronting her, be careful not to share your suspicions with others. 
You should respect your marriage by protecting her even though she erred. The reason is, if it turns out to be a wrong call, it would be a stigma on your wife’s identity. 
Since you initiated the dialogue and confrontation, be ready to listen to your wife without interrupting. It is vital to listen to what they have to say before you make your decisions. At this point, if your wife confesses to an affair, take your time before deciding on what to do. 
If you keep thinking that my wife cheated on me and didn’t think of me at all, so she should not have a say at all, it can make the entire conversation one-sided and pointless.
If you are still finding it hard to confront your cheating wife, you can check Quick Easy Guides for tips to get started.           
It’s difficult to process your emotions when you love your cheating wife. However, if you still love your cheating wife, there are some things you can do to help yourself. 
Here are some tips you should consider if you still love your cheating wife:
If you still love your cheating wife and are responsive towards reconciliation, it is vital to go back to the drawing board. You need to list those qualities you found in your wife that made you fall in love with her and revisit why you found her excellent.
Also, ask your wife about the values she saw in you and the areas she wants you to improve.       
Among the reasons why your wife cheated, there is a chance you unintentionally played a role. Perhaps, if your wife had communicated her fears and intentions to you, it would have been avoided. Ensure you decide with your wife to keep up communication .
For instance, if your wife is starved emotionally, she should find it easy to communicate with you. Encourage her to feel free to discuss anything with you.
One reason why wives cheat on their husbands is that the romance in their life has withered. If your wife tells you this, it is crucial to work on it. 
Then, you can plan romantic dates and ensure the both of you return to the point where you first fell in love.
Sometimes, external factors enter the relationship, which can make either party cheat on the other. You need to identify those playing a positive role and those who want your marriage to crumble. 
When you have issues in your marriage, don’t hurry to discuss them with people. Instead, reach out to marriage counselors to help you solve problems.        
Watch this video to learn more on what to do if you find your wife cheating:
Some men ask questions like, “ my wife cheated on me ; should I take her back?” The answer to this question is relative as it depends on the peculiarity of the situation. If your wife is willing to change and put her past behind her, she is worth forgiveness, and you should accept her back. 
On the other hand, if she is not interested in the marriage, you can forgive her but let her go. It would not be advisable to force her to stay in the marriage because she might cheat again.
Some wives turn a new leaf when caught cheating, while others continue because they are serial cheaters. However, some signs show a woman will keep cheating. 
To analyze if your wife will cheat again or not, try attempting this quiz – “ Will my wife cheat again ?” and check out what the results show.
Did your wife cheat on you, and you don’t know the right step to take?
First, you need to take ample time to process your thoughts and emotions. Also, if you feel it is overwhelming for you, it is crucial to seek help from a trusted source, preferably a marriage counselor.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

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“My wife cheated on me; I’m struggling to cope with her affair and I can’t get the images out of my mind! What do I do?”
Do you feel nothing but rage when you imagine your wife breaching your love and trust with another man?
Perhaps just knowing that your wife is cheating has left you in complete and total shock, and you’re unable to contain the anger that boils inside of you?
Are you looking for a way to make the pain of your wife’s infidelity go away?
Well don’t pitch your wedding ring just yet; I know that infidelity hurts. I know that there aren’t many pains in this world that can compare to the feeling when your wife’s infidelity crops into your mind.
Today I’d like to talk to you about how to recover from her infidelity and finally work towards a revived marriage.
Learning to control the immense amount of emotion that wells up when dealing with your wife’s unfaithfulness will be one of the first steps in recovering from, or at least surviving, her affair.
As you continue reading this article, you’re going to be learning how you can control your anger and manage your emotions, especially in the context of your wayward spouse. If you can’t find calm among all the emotions twirling inside of you, then this is the article for you.
After all, it’s only natural that you’re angry and paranoid right now. Whether you’ve confronted her about the affair or not, sexual infidelity is enough to wreck any man. And honestly, most men cope MUCH worse than you are right now.
When I was cheated on by my high school sweetheart, it nearly tore me apart…The amount of rage that I had built up inside of me took months, if not years, to work through and understand fully. And I’m sure that doesn’t compare to what you’re experiencing now.
Sincerely and truly, I’m sorry that you’ve been put in this position and that you now have to find a way to cope with a cheating wife.
Things will finally start to look up once you realize how to work with and use your emotion instead of letting it ruin day after day.
Here are 3 tips I put together that I think will help you if you’re thinking, “my wife cheated on me and I’m lost”.
This is one of the oldest and most useful ways of relieving emotional stress…Intense physical work. Not only is it proven to be therapeutic, it’s something you can start doing right now, night or day.
It doesn’t have to be working out, and if you’re not really the ‘fit’ type you’ll need to find a substitute. Even if all you do is start taking a 30 minute walk every day, this will almost 100% guarantee you’ll think more clearly.
However, the fact remains that intense physical work, the kind that’ll make you sweat bullets, is one of the best therapies out there. So if you can, invest a few bucks in a punching bag or a kettle bell or a gym membership or something.
I promise it’ll make you feel better.
Physical work is the safety net for many men, and I always recommend it when possible.
Many times the key to getting through the rage is to first understand EXACTLY where it comes from.
Okay, right now you’re thinking I’m an idiot.
I mean, obviously your mad that your wife cheated on you, right?
But here’s the thing…There are bound to be certain parts that make you more mad than others.
For example, many men hate the actual physical act of sex. For them it makes no difference whether their wife committed emotional infidelity or had a purely physical affair…It’s all the same, and it’s all equally painful for the betrayed husband.
So for many married men, the act of sex and physical contact is what they struggle to get over in an affair.
Other men, for example, find it hard to get over the fact that they’ve been lied to.
Still others can’t get over the fact that their wife wasn’t satisfied with their sex life; it shakes the betrayed spouse’s self confidence to the core.
Other men feel guilty or responsible, like they should have been able to stop the affair.
If you can identify exactly what you’re struggling to get over regarding your wife’s unfaithfulness, then you’re awareness will in and of itself make your life easier.
Many times, any issues that you and your wife have had in the past will come up again around the same time that you find out about her cheating. If this describes you, then you need to take this as a sign and recognize that the easiest way to work through all of it is going to be to separate out each individual issue.
It’s much easier to forgive several little problems than one big one, so let each problem be it’s own problem, and you’ll soon start to see that healing your marriage actually isn’t all that impossible.
In this type of scenario, marriage counseling or individual therapy may be helpful.
If you believe that your marriage can be saved , and you’re willing to do everything possible to get your wife back, then it’s time for you to take action. Divorce doesn’t have to be how this story ends; just give yourself and your wife a chance to change.

Whatever you decide to do from here, I wish you the best of luck.
In the end, remember that life is short, and if you can salvage the love you had for your wife at some point and get back to the good days, then you should feel encouraged to do so. Not obligated, just encouraged.
If you’re the guy saying “Help! My wife cheated on me and I can’t let go of it!” then I hope this article has been helpful to you. No matter what’s happened, please feel free to browse around on HusbandHelpHaven.com for some more love advice.
I'm Stephen, the guy behind Husband Help Haven. I'm not a marriage counselor or a lawyer, I'm just a guy on the Internet who has talked to a loooooot of men going through separation... Over 2,000 in the past 5 years. My goal is to give men the tools they need to save their marriage from separation. Read more here

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