My Way Back Story, Part Two

Al Arch

🔑 Here I’m starting to present you with semi-not-randomly complied paragraphs of facts from my current lifetime biography since birth (February 4th 1982) and up to February 2015. I can support the text of points listed below some later on a go of updating this page (you will notice by a date-time added to it), providing you with a documented evidence (personal photos, online notes with time-stamps, and probably eyewitness accounts etc). If at the beginning of reading some references from the past may seem puzzling in terms of the reasons why they were included in this text, then in the end everything that has been told finds its meaning.

Back to Part One

I've never been fascinated by the idea of driving a car, or doing cars in general. I liked some models, but rather not civil transport in general. However, in high school, I, along with my classmates, went to study at an auto department, and there I mastered driving a large truck ZIL-130 model. I deliberately did not go to take a law exam after that training. Just didn't see the point of it at the end, because I suggested that when I'd got behind a wheel, I would probably just crash a car soon, being carried away by driving process (...fun?), or I would be nervous and distracted by something to eventually just injure or kill people on a road. It has always been more comfortable for me to ride in a second seat next to a driver, or in back seats of a car relaxed and observing a road ahead and around.
Having met in the fall of 2005 with A.G., a dear special friend since, and having learned that her father is a talented documentary filmmaker working since USSR for governmental projects on TV, three years later my dream come true for me to master videography and video editing professionally. Back in the 90's with friends, who had a standard at the time lite VHS camera, I especially liked to shoot all sorts of technically unusual scenes. And also, manually, through two video tape recorders they had at home, to edit a kind of artistic short films of ours. The mockumentary film "The Blair Witch Project" (1999) inspired me hugely in a way, as well as Japanese the "Ring" (1998) movie about filming psychic abilities of children in a lab tests experiments.
I began to master video editing on a computer thoroughly when I started as amateur self-educated enthusiast since 2007, and since I've been posting my first line of "exposing truth" (of any sorts but hidden before) and also various psychology educational videos on YouTube like these you can check on one of my channels on English.
In the summer of 2008, the circumstances were such that, despite my complete reluctance to work with computers at that time, I received an offer for a position as a technical specialist at the one of major film studios in Moscow, where A.G.'s father worked at the time, but the day I came for the job interview, just in order to refuse the offer for that technical position with dignity, I suddenly took a chance and I asked a chief technical director to let me see the whole "inner kitchen" of post-production department there. He asked me from a state of being surprised, if I’d liked editing and work in the cinematograph-related area in general, to what I replied - yes, very much! - and then I found out being told that a vacancy for a video editor was just being vacated in this movie studio the same day I arrived, and I got a job deal there immediately (although I myself considered it being a scholarship training for my skills to advance my overall career ambitions at the time). After a year of work there and having received all the knowledge I need on professional work, post-production of cinema, and against the backdrop of the global financial crisis, I resigned and went freelance since.
It felt like a special event for me happened when the Yuri Kouklachiov's Circus Theater opened in the early 90's in a house building across the avenue I lived, the main show of which were and still are trained cats (as well as other animals’ performances too). When I first went to a performance with my school class, I had previously taken pieces of dry cat food with me. During the intermission, I discreetly scattered them in different places on the stage. The next act of the performance was almost on the verge of collapse, because the cats began to gnaw the food, instead of performing their tricks under the control of a clown artist.
My home phone number in the apartment where I then lived from 1984-2015 ended in the numbers "2919", while the phone of the "theater of cats" ended in the numbers "2907". Due to PBX errors, I was regularly called home and asked to invite the director – Kouklachiov - to the phone. So, I replied that "the cat Vas’ka answers you, and Kouklachiov is now intimately engaged with a cat Moorka". That is, it was such an unintentional prank improvisation. I personally happened to meet Kouklachiov several times over the years by chance, and the last time shortly before I finally moved from that district, it was around the summer of 2015, when he was moving out of the theater, face to face, and I greeted him each time with respect, bowing my head.
I went through experiences of “surviving death alive” for several times, and the first time it happened in 2008, when along with this I was revealed by series of deep profound insights with answers to my most biggest questions in life about a structure of the universe, nature of reality and the place of a human being in it (to note it shortly here, as it being more detailed written with a longer background in my "memoirs in paranormal" book); and twice more in 2015, before I moved to Armenia, and the first of which happened in February, 13th to me being willingly but not expecting such a thing in advance suddenly just agreed following my gut instinct and inspiration at the moment to be drowned in a bathtub for a sake of the experience itself and for promised me by these three performers and already being the experiencers of that risky process venture's astonishing results one might gain from it, if survived, of course, and to tell you about my own experience of it in short (it's worth or another essay to write about in details) like a major neural brain-shock of a near death crisis, leading to a boost of total fearless state of consciousness, providing you with an ability, for example, and probably for a period of time, to walk bare footed on smashed glass and fiery ashes unharmed - the staff that yogis and shamans I learned about in my childhood are capable of; and the third time of similar level of dangerosity for a near death crisis experience happened to me at a peak time of Full Super Moon Eclipse in April same year 2015, when I occasionally decided to follow my two fellows to climb on a highest top peak of a Roman-Kosh mountain in Crimea peninsula. I wasn’t equipped or even dressed properly for a such kind of adventure, to be honest with you, I had at the time only a small double tent I borrowed from a friend, and a face-mask for skin protection (I purchased it just a day before we were departing to fly there from Moscow) and my favorite (now have become sacred in a sense) high hunter-boots. Near the peak of that mountain, in very early dark time morning two of us in a tent woke up being stricken by the fierce snow storm. Blows like of strong wings of a huge Pteranodon and full of milk-like dense snow masses moving fast and strong almost tear our tent apart, when we tried to strengthen yourself in it to wait out the blizzard (and I even filmed it on my smartphone cam and audio recorded a report of happenings until that storm become unbearable for us to stay in there further, and I can provide you with the footage, audios and pictures by request). Then the three of us were forced by this fierce white infuriated monster of a blizzard to walk away almost only by touch on the sharp frozen rocks, since visibility there was only at arm's length. At some unfortunate point of a time, both my legs sank into deep fresh snow down to more than a knee-deep level. So, I simply stuck in a middle of icy hell of mine. I was wearing a backpack with a tent and other things we were able to save fleeing that deadly dangerous place, and another one full duffel bag was in my hands in front of me, and at that chilling moment of getting stuck in the snow, my two friends were continuing to move away from me step by step dissolving into the white-gray haze of the blizzard. So, I started shouting toward my friends, calling them to turn around for help. But they didn't hear me because of the loud storm's winds noise around, and were getting farther and farther away. Finding no way to get myself out of that deep snow trap, I took my last chances and I screamed at the top of my lungs, the same time trying to pull at least one leg out of the growing more and more snowdrift. But they just couldn't hear me over the roar of the blizzard and followed further away, that it already become hard to see their figures ahead. I could feel the frostbite burning my exposed parts on my wrists and face. My favorite fancy-forester pants are already ripped in the crotch area. And only at the last moment, when I felt in my spirits completely, I realized, that my terrible idea-fix of a frozen-death had come here to me right now, and the next moment after fully realizing it, I felt some kind of a humble total surrender to that situation of meeting the end of me, like it being something already happened, period, in that very deep terror and hopelessness of my situation and inner farewell to everything in my life, and with my full remorse for my stupid audacity to go on such a journey unprepared, and follows these two guys up for many hours, despite all the warnings we had met right before the event, and it was only when now I completely accepted my inevitable death – that very kind of death I always dreaded - to become frozen alive!! But then of a sudden unbelievable to my eyes seeing that movement, one of friends, the one who, by the way, is a really good pro-trained hiker and a tourists' guide, turned around and finally noticed me struggling there. I was already in a state between death and rebirth at that moment, as I felt it totally by my very heart and spirit. Such realization of me bypassing the whole thing of dying began to unfold gradually as both my friends pulled me out of the snow by hands, and I had got my movement power and ability back to go further forward together – and this part of the journey was also highly life-threatening to cross over, but nothing like that peak experience I went through then. During that long long day, after the shock of everything I had experienced there, my whole life-reality like being stage by stage completely "rebooted". Even on the way back, the three of us had moments when we found ourselves on the edge of a cliff due to a terrible visibility and sharp rocks all around us under our stepping feet. Imagine that, and isn't if funny (as would Joker voice saying), that during the first moments of that early unfortunate morning, after we had just realized the seriousness of the blizzard, but continuing to laugh joking from such a severe surprise, and as said, I even managed to record a couple of videos and audio from a tent as my joke-report to put online later for my friends to see ‘the real thing’, from the scene in the very process of how the blizzard tore over our tent. Well, then pretty soon after, we didn't feel like there was a place and time for laughing anymore. So, finally, on that day I went also through facing and surviving one of my main and earliest phobias, that one which frightened me so hard since my childhood, after hearing stories about the Soviet pilot-hero of the Great Patriotic War Alexei Maresyev, who lost both legs in another type of an unfortunate airplane crash event but survived after 18 days of wandering to be found and taken to hospital finally. Or when my blood ran cold from the end scenes of the movie "Titanic" (1997). Since then, I just realized that I have stopped worrying about cold and frosts the way it used to be. It was as if I had the same time relived as a reflection my post-natal episode, when I was cold from the undeveloped skin and tissues of my little reddish body inside an incubator in a maternity hospital.
Despite my seemingly quiet and almost constantly calm nature to others, in emergency situations I’d always turned out to be ready to show my rage and audacious courage, even where people looked bigger and more brazen than me gave back.
At the end of 2009, an idea came to me that captured my entire mind at that time - to create a discussion club dedicated to the deep symbols and metaphors of cinema for the purpose of psychological self-discovery (“Dreamstrip: The Club for Cinemantics”). And a visual design project for this I seen only as the very atmosphere of old silent movies cinema and of a room for spiritualistic seances of the early 20th century in the USA. I myself made up the entire program for presentations, acted as a designer of posters and graphics, and with the help of my friend, who took over the organizational part, starting in 2010, I held some fifteen of those club meetings in different places in Moscow. Sometimes there were really cathartic experiences among those people gathered, and even of some who just came there by a mere chance. The main figurative reference points of the inspiration for me to start creating the whole Dreamstrip thing were two of my favorite movies "The Prestige" and "The Illusionist" both released in 2006. And to complete this part of my story and the journey as well, I am currently finishing my book based on those club meetings of presentations and discussions.
Circuses, booths, fairs, carnivals, zoos have always had some special meaning for me, in their space environment I felt like I was right "in my place", as if I was already being embedded in the dynamics of affairs and relationships taking place in such places. The Soviet cartoon, which is stylized for the era of the early 20th century, is about a Foontik The Little Pig («Приключения Поросёнка Фунтика» (1986)), who went on adventures with a wandering circus show performance crew of Uncle Mokus (the character is probably being created in the image of P. T. Barnum), has always been dear and special to me, and something like this sometimes touched me to tears, causing incomprehensible nostalgia, especially the title song of Foontik theme.
Somehow and miraculously, most of stray dogs I meet (but not only stray ones) immediately begin to happily roll on a ground, substituting their stomach, or standing up on their hind legs.
When I was trying to start my own rock band in 2003, according to an ad on the Internet forums for musicians, only girls approached me. It also happened by a mere coincidence that all three of them were my neighbors of Dorogomilovo and Western district of Moscow. As a result, I gathered a group of aspiring young and fresh rock musicians of only-girls band in the line-up, for whom I later became the first coach, protege and manager, as well as a photo designer, at the very start of their creative music careers. Fifteen years later, despite the specific genre of their music, they had the opportunity to perform both on continental Europe on tour, and in the Great Britain as well.
It was with this all-female rock band 'Diet Pill' that I myself visited St. Petersburg for the first time of my younger years, although I stayed there only one dark winter evening and the night after the concert, returning back to Moscow with the morning.
In 2003-2004, I was invited to participate as a co-organizer and entertainer in local regular rock festivals under the name and the idea behind it - "Down with the sects!" («Долой Секты», The festival was held in the small concert hall of the town Reutov, Moscow region). During my selection of musical groups and communications with their participants, and from the festivals themselves, I met a number of people playing different key roles in my life, as it became crystal clear via self-reflection years later.
Since 2012, I have been invited four times to speak on leading Russian channels in talk-shows and like 'scientists VS mystics' ('Case X: Investigation continues...") and popular documentaries on ufology matters as an expert with a psychological perspective on the problems of this phenomenon.
In my teenage years, I was fond of conducting my own radio broadcasts, either by sending an audio signal recorded on a tape recorder through a common radio outlet in the house when there were maintenance work pauses in broadcasting; or by making a radio transmitter in the FM band with connecting it to a lightning rod pin as an antenna to broadcast my stories and favorite music, covering the area of a summer vacation camp.
I was born and lived or 34 years of my life in Moscow only. Despite this, the city itself felt somehow surprisingly recognizable and familiar to me in the areas of its central district (surrounded by so called "The Garden Ring"), but the same completely "anachronistic" or provoking other deja vu feelings in more remote areas from the center of the city. For example, I lived for 33 years in the Dorogomilovo district on Kutuzovsky Prospekt (avenue), in the apartment in the very same building, where the General Secretaries of the USSR L. Brezhnev and Y. Andropov lived. And at the same time, already in my older teenage years and later, I perceived the architecture of houses nearby and famous Moscow skyscrapers as "my personal New York city" (and it is known, that the "stalinist architeture style" was copied from New York City architecture).
One of my favorite hardcore music bands since 1995-1996, originated from Brooklyn, NYC, is named ‘Biohazard’. The very song presented the band to me at the time via the music video was ‘Punishment’, filmed in NYC, and having this part in its’ lyrics I’ve been revolving playing in my ‘inner ear’ since:

Locked down, I gotta get it out

Impending doom, a cloud above my head

Why me? My faith has been devout

Blasphemous? Am I better off dead?

Fear of death, will my life go on?

Controlled fate? On the corner rolling dice

Punishment, but I've done nothing wrong

In my eyes, who really pays the price...

In the summer of 2011, I went to St. Petersburg on my own for the first time to undergo my first age regression experience for a therapy purposes (without the use of hypnosis, as the author, I.G. , whom I will call there by the alias 'Maestro' I gave him, of the method himself stated), as well as to receive initial mentoring in studying this method, and then also I received the offer of cooperation in organizing Maestro's arrival in Moscow and possibly performing his work also in other cities of Russia if I’d managed it too. Being even by chance in various places of the city, meaning the old classic part of Saint Petersburg, I felt absolutely free to navigate through all the interlacing streets and channels of it, as if I were walking there on autopilot and absolutely naturally. Certain historical places there gave a special impression of emotional recognition and familiarity of them to me, mostly two temples of very different types of architecture - the Kazan cathedral and Church of St. Catherine, I recommend all of you to visit at a chance no matter what your confession is.
Despite the fact that our paths with that Maestro soon diverged due to the fact that he took a long time to give me an answer about his willingness to provide me with his training and knowledge in the special method of his, until the very beginning of the fall 2011, I had a chance to take a weekend seminar on Halloween of the same year for the practice of now hypnotic age regression techniques. It turned out to be a success for me, and in result it became truly defining moment at this stage of my life journey (up to and including 2016 mostly). However, after learning out that I had "exchanged" Maestro with some young "upstart" of a coach and having completed that seminar studies, I.G. just angrily broke off all contacts with me and we never interacted since.
In April 2012, I had an almost unintentional contact on the Internet with another mysterious specialist, the only difference of a dynamic was that he is working in the field of so called “practical metaphysics”, a visualization-based psychotherapy teacher, and the author of several books and lecturer on wellness in general, as well as him touching more obscure topics. He is from the state Michigan, USA, and here I will call him as A.S. He invited me to become his sponsor and tour manager in Russia, as well as his English language translator and organizer of meetings with readers in different cities, as well as helping to manage his seminars there. I immediately responded to the proposal, and our whole big tour was successful and extremely interesting of discovering various special and beautiful places and people along, and it was another a turning point in my career, which took place in October of the same year. During that trip, we stopped by the city of Nizhny Novgorod, and the whole atmosphere, architecture, and "energy" of this place felt very recognizable somehow to me, although I had never visited the city before, and only generally knew little details about this ancient city of Russia. We have remained good friends with A. S. thanks to this joint experience and our personal communication during a long journey.
In the same October 2012, I met my future ex-girlfriend, who was amazed and excited when she learned about me doing that whole tour thing and other stuff of mine and A.S. interests; she was originally from St. Petersburg, and this city is where I subsequently began to appear with my visits regularly, coming there quarterly for training and practical seminars on Archetypal Psychotherapy and the very method of so called "Magic Theater", developed by V. L., PhD.
In June 2014, I accidentally met, through the lead from my Internet acquaintances and finally from that same girlfriend of St. Petersburg's origins, an energy-healer-muslim-shaman K.A. from Kyrgyzstan. Gradually, everything turned out that by July of same year K.A. offered me to be with him for a training and probation, and then he entrusted and offered me with the organization of his tours to many cities of the former USSR, as well as to co-guide expeditions to so called “places of power” from the Kyrgyz Lake Issyk-Kul in East and to the Black Sea coast in Yalta in South, from Murmansk of North to Minsk in West. And then were almost countless open sessions managed and conducted in everywhere of Moscow, starting from morning and continued all days long to late evening of that type of a healer's work he was providing to his clients. It was the most intense half-year in social terms and business activity for me of all my previous life experiences, as the result I received a lot of special skills and more deep insights in the area of practical parapsychology witnessing lots of real life examples of its' main subjects of study from basic psychic clairvoyance and to a graphic exorcism performances, but finally I become exhausted and tired of all that stuff and pressure definitely, so, subsequently, and for a number of other personal reasons, I left that occupation, moving myself of interests into the practical study of self-therapy methods without any outside influence required, which I did thoroughly later, after moving to Armenia in May 2016 for seven years since to date.
Since 2008, thanks to my active and regular activity as an online informant / blogger on the Internet, and on the basis of the knowledge I obtain via my various experiences and studies in the area of transpersonal and depth psychology, hypnosis and analytical consulting, I have met lots of psychics of all kinds, clairvoyants mediums and 'channelers'. I have formed a close and rather long friendship with some of them, based on a mutual assistance and common interests in self-discovery analysis and therapy aiming for seeking root causes and strictly experimental approaches. Since then, I began to study their abilities in regular communications with these various psychics, both passively - based on the results of their "scans" and "readings", or "transmissions of messages from Spirit Guides" and "remote vision" reports, and actively testing as well - by offering them to do experiments for my studies to find out the range of their capabilities, as well as for myself it was very important task to track down what, when and how there may be any kind of errors in their work, when testing them not only with my personal subjective experience, but also with external verifiable facts of reality.
There has absolutely never been such a thing that psychics and mediums have been successful in the accuracy of their perception in everything. I regularly caught them on mistakes, and some o them who are narcissistic - they on deliberate attempted to convince me of their rightness, and so of my "delusions" in various matters of arguing on results about their perceptions/visions, but as I always say - Time Reveals the Truth. So, the very personality features and different psychological matters, as well, of course, as the moral qualities of any kind of psychics and mediums are extremely important for such an occupation in order to obtain fairly highly probable results of using their abilities.
Absolutely all the clairvoyants and mediums I met (more than a dozen really "powerful" of them, even those who have worked for the government of the country and for special services too in their past (classified, of course), and not only those who have the reputation and support of their wide number of clients), they all gave me their specific, but to the test of time - an erroneous answer - about a forecast for me for the future on one common and pretty popular among their clients question – when will my wedding take place? (at the moment I am 41 and a half years young, and I am still not married, and again you can look at it from the perspective of the very person conducting this experiment, me: I have never avoided those relationships I desired that could lead to a marriage, but I did not force or chase potential candidates just to get the status and "a stamp in a passport"). And, yes, I was receiving such forecasts from them even sometimes without my direct request of it - that is, they themselves within the framework of the "general scanning of prospects", began to talk about that question topic, naming fairly accurate dates (year and month) right away, sometimes even naming the names of candidates to look for and for a special notice, but also I myself addressed some of them with such a question directly. At the moment of now after everything I saw with my own eyes and experienced, I am ready to put a high bet that no psychic, even with a world-famous name, will be able to give me an answer to this particular simple question regarding my future of that matters. Again, I note, that I have personally observed cases when predictions from the same psychics to other people quite accurately came true at a time they predicted, that’s why I had become fascinating to do the research and testing in a long term.
Since late 90's and especially in the early 00's, when I was already studying at the academy (Moscow Academy of Instrument Engineering and Informatics), the works of Howard Phillips Lovecraft played a special role as inspiration for me, including for my subsequent creation in collaboration with then a founder of the site nightmares.ru a special forum (since November 2006 till May 2008, and now obsolete, and the original website had been replaced by a one of a similar idea) where I (then alias “MOZG”) had a chance to apply myself as a various kinds of fiction reviewer and author of articles, and which become a part of the special atmosphere of that good old and cozy Internet in its own way, before the advent of the era of social networks (which later took with itself into eternity that forum as well).
Around late year 1995 I become fascinated with a computer game I learned about in some of the first Russian magazines about video games, the game’s name is the ‘Prisoner of Ice’ (1995), and it’s plot is based upon H. P. Lovecraft’s stories. At the time I owned no PC at home, but my urge to get this game in my possession to play through was so strong, that I’d spend all the money if I had them, just for getting a PC required for that game to have.
In my old social blog at DarkDiary.ru (2005-2008 now long time deleted, but survived as being WebArchived) I was mentioning to memorize at the time only three computer games – 'Cold Fear' (2005), 'Condemned: Criminal Origins' (2005), and 'Call of Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth' (2005), the game that is specifically based on works of H.P. Lovecraft. In general, Lovecraftian ideas are regularly found in those works of modern cinema and literature, that have made the greatest impression and aroused the strongest interests in me since childhood (for example, the already mentioned early films of Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead" and in particular there - that ancient manuscript "Necronomicon", and the old tape recording of passages from it. as the imagery resonates very strongly with my childhood hobbies).
The movie by John Carpenter “The Thing” (1982) I saw in early 90's with its plot dealing with a story about an alien craft crashed in Antarctic some ages ago with a lifeform then become frozen in eternal ice to be discovered and reanimated in modern times by a scientific explorers crew, impressed me to that degree for now and ever being one of my favorite movies of all time. There are also other main themes in it, which are of a major phobia-related of mine, you now being aware of. During my teenage times and as an adult, I’ve got occasionally involved with different fellows to discuss it repeatedly. Like a ‘psychological magnet’ kind of thing, I guess.
Since childhood, I have been interested in complex rope knots and various games and tricks with rope braiding, but later I stopped paying attention of my then interests to this, since there was no need in me for a practical application of such knowledge and skills.
Jack London's literary works were known to me as such in early childhood, because I had a bookshelf with a number of his publications collected at home, but I remember that I did not read them deeply at that time, considering Jack's works to be rather rough in form, although undoubtedly inspiring. But his "The Star Rover" short story had been ever special to me, and the adaption movie "Jacket" (2005) as well.
Cavemen somehow interested me in a special way as a child after reading the book "The Quest for Fire" by J.-H. Rosny, and in part I even admired their way of life, in which they had to survive despite all the dangers of the nature elements and animals around, as well as resisting the attacks of their neighbors-relatives.
When I first watched the movie 'Captain America' (1990) as a child, I was mostly shocked by the episode with freezing and prolonged staying under the ice of the main character with subsequent defrosting of his body. I was also hooked then by the very topic of secret defense experiments with electricity, both on the part of the Americans and Nazi Germany.
Later during 90's, when I learned about the topic of cryogenics, I remember myself thinking about it a lot, and trying to imagine myself being frozen and then unfrozen after, maybe, tens or even hundreds of years later. Especially the rumors about such a procedure for Walt Disney and Michael Jackson, as very famous and popular personalities for my post-Soviet generation, were very significant and convincing to me at that age of mine.
As a child, I was very inspired by the works of the Soviet science fiction writer Alexander Belyaev. Especially the "Professor Dowell's Head" (1925) story about the revival of a severed head with the help of life support technology, and "Amphibian Man" (1928) (especially, along with its Soviet feature film adaptation) about the fate of a young man who, for the sake of saving his life, a brilliant scientist transplanted shark gills, which forced him to live half the time underwater, and about tragic love between him and a beautiful girl.
By the way, sharks as such were especially interesting and entertaining beings to me-kid: I drew them a lot, molded them from plasticine etc. As well as the underwater expeditions of the Jacques Yves Cousteau team released filmed footage as documentaries on Russian television in the early 90s, then became for me being one of the greatest sources of inspiration for life and admiration for the courage of people from the Cousteau’s team, who dived with relatively light scuba gear towards unknown secret dangerous depths. The old heavy diving suits, and first bathyscaphes as well, always were attracting my technical interest and attention, and I imagined myself wearing it and being protected as a knight in armor, going to face dangerous sharks and moray eels as my underwater dragons, so to say.
From an early age, I was interested in technical "spy stuff", special techniques, and various stories about scouts serving on their "special assignments".
Now we are looking back into my age of the early kindergarten period. Our apartment was on the 7th floor, so we usually used the elevator. In Soviet houses built during the Stalin’s period (mine is of 1944), there were elevators of an old model without automation, when first you need to manually open the outer metal door, then open two wooden doors in the elevator itself, and only then can go inside, first closing the iron door, then the wooden ones behind you. One day I ventured on my own, without telling my mother, to get into the elevator, again, just on my own for the first time, and tried to go down with it. The buttons for the lower floors were available for my my child's height, so I got into the elevator and pressed the button for the first-floor drive, and so the elevator went down. But quite soon, most likely because of me started bouncing inside of it, the elevator got stuck in that gap space between floors. I remember, that only a narrow band of visibility of a closed iron door from above showed there when I opened the wooden ones. And I remember this episode so vividly to this day, because then I experienced a full mixture of emotions from panic to excitement, being ashamed but keeping high alertness the same time about what was happening – so then I was frantically looking around and touching everything at the level of my height, looking for any possible way out. Then I realized that it would be probably not a case for me to get out of this elevator without external help. Either because I started yelling and calling for it, or because someone else was waiting and kicking their metal door impatiently for an elevator on other floors at that time, they found me being stuck in it pretty quickly. But I stayed there for quite a long time, as it felt at least to me the little boy, as the technicians were called there, so they could lift the elevator some other way to the floor level and extract me from it.
When I saw for the first time in early childhood the principle by which the door of the old Soviet refrigerator "ZIL" works, I got into an unprecedented excitement – all my thoughts were about how I could possibly get out of it, if I’d got into it entirely, and while it being working (and as far as I remember, at that time I could easily fit in such a refrigerator space size, if you remove shelves from it), and so if someone else closes the fridge’s door behind me, then how will I get out of it, and will I have time enough for that at all or I will just suffocate being locked in there? Or will I just freeze over time in it? The fact is that such a model of the fridge has a technically specific handle with a latch on the door, which in principle can only be opened from the outside.
Since childhood and adolescence, fountain pens, both simple, but especially metal refueling ones, have been a special thing like a fetish to me, and I dreamed of writing a book using just such a pen.
Since childhood, I have collected all kinds of keys I'd found on a street or received from elsewhere somehow, as well as various locks (there were significantly fewer of them in my possession, though). For this, every time my mother Vera saw that I brought home another new key for my collection, she called me then "The Keys Keeper" (alluding, with making it funny, to the legendary nickname of the Apostle Peter).
The idea of lock picks began to occupy my mind from the very first moment I found out about it, and I tried to open locks with paper clips.
By 2008, I had collected a library, pretty small if compare, but precious to me personally, containing books on parapsychology, ufology, anomalous phenomena, cryptozoology, hypnosis, secrets of special services, as well as an almost complete bibliography of Stephen King (translated), and a number of other personally important literary works and textbooks. I wrote down all the books by authors' names and titles in a special notebook of mine. And since childhood I’ve loved to make catalogs, organize and sort data, keeping it as my special archives.
At earlier school years, I started doing scrapbooking for myself. At first it was a dedication to dinosaurs, which I began to get interested in even before the release of the famous movie "Jurassic Park" (1993) by Steven Spielberg, where I wrote down all the Latin and Russian names for dinosaurs, that I happened to know along with their various depictions glued to the scrapbook pages, and there also I pasted collectable stickers and other dinosaur-related stuff from my good collection. Already in my early teens, I started to make and keep another scrapbook, dedicated to UFOs and similar natural anomalous phenomena, and as far as I remember, it was replenished for fifteen years, but later it was lost.
Starting from 1999-2000, and also a decade later, as well as the longest and still (August, 2023, and starting from December 2016), I started the practice of logging all the main events and incidents related to my life, my reflection on what I experienced, monitoring my psycho-emotional states, and many other relevant factors, in order to likely detect significant patterns in the future by the journals' text analysis. I have made and am making entries in my journal briefly, partially coding words with the help of abbreviations that are understandable only to myself.
In my early childhood (the 80s), I really liked special postcards, calendar posters and badges, which use the effect of refraction of light, allowing two images to be shown alternately in the picture when the angle of view is shifted. Also, some later, in the early 90's, I was so fascinated by the "Magic Eye" books with three-dimensional pictures presented that way I could see when my eyes were unfocused, that I spent hours in a bookstore in a neighboring house, not having the means to buy such a book, just to be able to see all the pictures offered.
Twice in 2010 I tried the usual fasting for up to 7 days. At the beginning of January 2015, I went through a five-days fasting without water at all. The key to such an experience, so that it goes easier, as I found out later, is to pre-cleanse the body for purification it by toxins removal, and be able to endure it during the first three days.
In 2013-2014, just out of a desire to try to test myself, I began to regularly fill the bath full with cold water at home, got into it, and was laying in there until water would warmed up naturally. Since childhood, I have admired people who are able to go out almost naked and stay in the freezing cold for a long time (the significant trigger for this in my early school years was I heard from my mother the story of the practice and teaching of improving health by exposing yourself to deep natural frost, promoted by Porfiry Ivanov, who survived in captivity by Nazis, when he was exposed to cold during winter staying long outside).
I had the experience of intentional sleep deprivation for up to three nights in a row.
As I shortly mentioned about the movie "Titanic" (1997) by James Cameron, when I watched it for the first time in 1998 (16 years old), gave me a great shock, and I began to be passionate about studying this case. By chance, I managed to find in my home library a thin documentary book "A night to remember" by Walter Lord describing the chronology of events. My thoughts constantly revolved around how I'd could survive in such a situation?
Scenes from cartoons and movies where some hero is tied up and lies on a conveyor belt while moving to a working circular saw, have always caused me a nervous feeling of anxiety almost on a physical level (my body just begins to twist and bend itself).
When in 2007 (25 years old) I heard in one of the documentaries on YouTube the name of William Crooks, and about his attempts to use a kind of a vacuum tube to contact afterlife, it immediately clicked something inside me, forcing me to reconsider and rethink all my past attempts to contact the other world.
The movie “Photographing Fairies” (1997), which I watched for a first time somewhere before 2008, this film made a deep impression on me, both intellectually and emotionally.
I assume that this happened mainly in the period from 2003-2006, when I already had at my disposal a personal computer, the Internet, and also knew how to work with audio editors, when I stumbled upon the topic of Electronic Voice Phenomenon (EVP) and began my experiments on contact with the "inhabitants of the afterlife" as through a combination of radio and a tape recorder, and later through recording on a computer software as well. However, apart from a couple of strange artifacts on a record, I could not find anything distinct as a possible message from the ‘other side’. However, I downloaded all audio examples from various web sources of being presented there as successful contacts at that time available, and I stored them in a special folder on my computer's disk. I was somewhat annoyed by the fact, that such a task does not work out easily and immediately, and I could not understand what's could be a reason for that.
The movie “White Noise” (2005) had made strongly enough impression on me, that I mentioned it in my blog right after watching it near the time of its release.
I became extremely passionate about demonology and the idea of spirit possession since 1993, after watching Sam Raimi's film "Army of Darkness" (1992) with my friends on a videotape, and then continued with the first and the second films of the "Evil Dead" franchise. After many years of study that subject, and after my various personal experiences related to what they call possession and exorcism phenomena, in 2007 I began to share my expertise in this area in a blog on LiveJournal.com, and in about a year of activity there, I gathered quite a lot of subscribers at the time. After that horror fiction forum I mention earlier, this was my second major experience of a public blogging. I stopped keeping this blog after May the 14th of 2008 events due to personal reasons, and because of changes in my own perspectives about the topic in such.
In those early years of studying the ‘other-world’ and notorious ‘inhabitants’ of it, I was puzzled by the question why, on the one hand, people can't reach “the place", and on the other hand, for centuries, as we know it from historical records about certain beliefs around the globe and mere legends as well, inhabitants of those other-worlds have been seemingly somehow breaking through here and go bothering people (poltergeist, ghosts apparitions, demonic manifestations, etc.), but no one among human beings has been able to somehow-then clearly and unambiguously demonstrate publicly the results of the success of such communication being established.
From the moment when I was a teenager, I first noticed naturally formed (without training) "abs" on my stomach, I began to enthusiastically maintain they in this form, although I did not strive to do any regular sports in my life, and all of my sports practices I done swimming, running (high-speed, school years, long-distance in my 20's) and climbing (while studying at the academy). Testing my abs for their strength by my friends caused me feelings of pride and anxiety the same time, I was afraid that they would "do it somewhere wrong" when they’d hit me, having previously an experiences of receiving blows to the solar plexus, I associated any possible miss of my friends with subsequent paralyzing acute pain expectations.
The topic of experiences related to various intoxication has haunted me since early childhood, when I most likely at the age of 3 found in the lower cupboard in the kitchen a round open small jar with white powder in it. I ate it, and almost immediately I felt myself sick, and I threw up. The powder turned out to be a poison for cockroaches. It is quite difficult for me to list all the cases of various intoxication accounts that I have experienced up to now (41 and a half years young), but I have also always have been interested in detox and cleansing a body of toxins and parasites. Subconsciously this question of "to know-how" has always been in me, and then in adulthood, when I began to study various methods of therapy, it became for me the central theme of prevention and recovery for both a physical body (a biological organism) and a mental and emotional state (a subconscious mind).
The first feature film “Saw” (2004), and the whole franchise started since as well, had impressed me very much with the plot, the scenes of the key acute episodes, the background of main character of The Constructor, the very situations in which the other characters found themselves, and, of course, the very formulation of the core philosophic idea and problem of those movies. In my blog at the time, after watching the third film (2006), I wrote this:

"Jigsaw"

January 20th, 2007 at 5:33 PM

Finally got to watching "Saw 3".

In fact, each of us has our own shackles. Everyone has a hacksaw at hand. And somewhere next to everyone is hidden a key that unlocks the shackles. And for some reason, instead of looking for this key, people usually, feverishly looking at the time allotted to them, either try in vain to saw the shackles, or selflessly cut off their legs. And as a result, they only find themselves in front of a locked door again. It's because this was only them who chained themselves by self - forgetfulness”...

Written: August 8th of 2023; last edited: same day.

My Way Back Story, Part Two

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