My Teenage Stepdaughter

My Teenage Stepdaughter

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What would you do if you caught your husband and your teenage daughter from a past relationship having sex?

Before I got married to , he knew I had a child out of wedlock and he accepted her and promised to treat her as his own and we have been living in peace till the day I bumped into him .

Timi is 18, and growing faster than her age and I have tried my best to be a good mother but little did I know that my young daughter was not as innocent as I thought. Though I tried to monitor her as best as I could, I knew she had some male friends though she kept them away from me.

It was an aunt who came visiting some months ago that first warned me that she did not find Demola's closeness to Timi funny, sensing that they did not act like a father and daughter, especially when I was not around.

further hinted that she suspected there was something sinister going on behind my back, stating that she had seen Demola sneak into Timi's room at odd hours. But I did not take Aunt Joke serious till I caught the two of them red handed.

The day of reckoning started like every other day for me as I left for work as early as I usually did but around 10am, I had this piercing stomach upset and had to rush to the hospital. The doctor told me I had beginning of dysentery and should go home, take some drugs and rest.

I called Demola to inform him but his phone was switched off, so I had to take a taxi home. I was surprised when I saw his car in the compound when I got back. I guessed he must have come home for something.

I had earlier sent Timi to the market, so when I went inside and did not see her, I thought she had gone to buy the foodstuff I had instructed her to.

I went to our bedroom and when I did not find Demola there and I went to the kitchen, thinking he would be there but he was not there. Instinctively, I made for Timi's room. On opening the door, I was almost thrown back by the force of what I saw.

There was my husband naked and in his full glory, humping on my equally naked daughter who was apparently enjoying the sexual intercourse. It was glaring that Demola did not rape her because she was equally responding to his thrusts.

I must have frozen on the spot for close to a minute and they did not know they had company. It was my screams that brought them back to earth and before I passed out, I saw them scramble apart.

I came out of coma in the hospital and that was when the reality hit me that I had caught my husband and daughter having sex.

All this happened two months ago and since then, I have not gone back to the house neither do I want anything to do with my husband and daughter.

They have been sending emissaries to beg me on their behalf and even my family members have been imploring on me to forgive them but how on earth can I live with the two of them again, with the picture still playing in my head?

Dear readers, Monisola is in great pains and needs your words of advice. On Morning Teaser today, we want you to help this sorrowful woman?

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More stories to check out before you go
I am 32 and married with children but in serious trouble because I messed up with a young girl (18) from our estate and she is now pregnant. We became friends after I frequently gave her a lift to town then we had casual no-strings-attached sex on several occasions. She is now four months pregnant and she is asking me what she is going to tell her parents. I have tried to talk to her but she isn’t listening. I don’t love her and I can’t imagine losing my family because of this young and irresponsible girl. I think some neighbours are already suspecting something from the way they make funny statements at me and so it may just be a matter of time before this comes out. I don’t know what to do. Please advise.
Ochieng, are you calling her young and irresponsible now that she is pregnant for you? Accept that she is expectant and since she is not underage consider engaging all the concerned parties including her parents and your family. You knew you did not love her but still went ahead and slept with her. Choices have consequences. Face this problem head-on, tell your wife what you did and prepare to raise this chid.
This is a problem of your own making. I would not encourage you to ask anyone to terminate a pregnancy. People already know of the story so in case she procures abortion and she dies or something happens you shall be the first culprit. You better inform your wife and your parents of this pregnant lady and be ready to support her and her baby because it has happened after your prolonged relationship. But first wait for the birth of the child then you can do a DNA test to confirm paternity then if it turns out positive you can do what will be required of you.
How do you go terming her as irresponsible? It is interesting how you realise this only now after sleeping with her severally. A responsible man takes responsibility for his actions and that pregnancy is your responsibility. You should encourage and support her to keep that pregnancy and make sure the child is raised responsibly.
One of the best ways of dealing with adversity is to stay ahead of the information. Let your wife get the information from you before someone else gives her the 'abridged' version. Get her in her best moods, when it is the two of you, preferably, away from home. Be honest with her and together come up with how to deal with the scenario. Be very calm throughout the discussion. The girl is free to inform her parents. Finally, take the responsibility by law or laws of moral justice.
What really has woken you up from your secret doing? Is it because the girl is pregnant? Would you be feeling this repentant if she was not?
Well, this must be a time of deep regret for you and I guess you wish you could conceal all this drama. Keeping this a secret may not be possible, there is a child already involved, and it is not a solution. The best option now is for you to open up to your wife yourself before the rumour gets to her. Do not wait for her to seek an explanation from you.
When you volunteer to give the information, even your apology will sound real as opposed to waiting until she gets to know, then you appear as if you are seeking forgiveness because your private affair has been uncovered and not because you are remorseful.
We cannot tell how she will react but your conduct before now will determine the outcome. That is, if you have been good to her, she is likely to forgive you, but if your behaviour has been a pain to her, then things might be different. That is why you must be the one to disclose this matter to her.
In addition, the child’s welfare needs to be taken into consideration and this is something that the three of you need to agree on. All said and done, make an honest assessment of your relationship so that such incidents can be avoided in future. Sometimes couples slowly drift apart without their knowledge. It is only episodes like this that jerks them to reality. Therefore make every necessary changes that you may have to. Together you can turn and get this relationship back on course and thriving.
(Hilda Boke Mahare has a background in Counselling Psychology)
Ochieng, I more or less understand the situation you are in but I am not sure about what sort of ending you are anticipating through this. Picking from your words you say she is asking you about what to tell her parents but on the other hand you are talking to her and she is not listening? We shall get back to this later but it is somewhat a paradox.
Essentially, I have my fingers crossed that she is actually 18 as you say because anything lower than this can actually turn out to be disastrous for you. If he is indeed 18 the problems are still enormous but of a different nature. If my imagination serves me right, you are trying to get her to sort this matter once and for all through a termination. If this be the case then she is doing the right thing by not listening to you and it is actually very unfair of you to think of putting her life at risk all for your convenience. If she is pregnant with your child I encourage you to deal with the matter as is and not consider unreasonable shortcuts that only work well for you.
I am also surprised that you term her an irresponsible girl but do remember that you repeatedly had sexual relations with her so you are just as irresponsible if not more. This
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