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The other night my boyfriend and I went to his friend’s house and he had his girlfriend over too. We spent all night drinking and playing games and the other couple were very open sexually.
They made a makeshift bed for us in the living room because we’d had too much to drink to drive home. When the other couple went to their room, my boyfriend and I kissed on the couch.
The other couple then came into the room and started ‘making out’ on the floor next to us. I was incredibly uncomfortable about it.
Then they joined us on the couch at which point I said, “Really? I don’t like this, it’s weird!” But my boyfriend laughed and said, “Why not?” He clearly thought it would be a fun experience.
I tried to enjoy myself. At first, this couple stayed with each other and we did too. But then my boyfriend’s friend started touching me and then my boyfriend started to touch the other girl.
After a few minutes of this, the other guy pushed his girl on to my boyfriend and pulled me on to him and we had sex.
I kept looking over to see my boyfriend and this other girl which was pure torture. I wasn’t having much fun, but just trying to enjoy myself for my boyfriend’s sake.
The other guy led me into the bedroom where we had more sex. But after a couple of minutes I stopped him and told him I couldn’t do it any more and I wasn’t enjoying it.
At that point, my man and the other girl came into the room and I left with my boyfriend.
He told me he wasn’t turned on and he didn’t have intercourse, just “did some other stuff”. I felt so guilty and he was very obviously upset with me. He broke up with me, saying his heart was broken.
He thinks I was having the time of my life! I’ve tried to explain I only went with the flow because I thought it was what he wanted. Why didn’t he stop things? I believe he is just as guilty as I am.
We’re currently ‘on a break’. What should I do? Should I give him his space or try harder to make him understand?
He is just as responsible for this situation as you are – if not more because he was the one who wanted to give it a try.
The fact is, once it was on the cards you probably both did it only because you thought the other was into it and didn’t want to be the killjoy. Loads of situations happen this way.
I think you love each other and want to be together, but there are a lot of raw emotions flying around at the moment, not to mention flashbacks to the night in question.
I think it’s fine to give each other a bit of space to think things over, but try to arrange a date when you can meet to talk about it.
If you decide you want to get back together, then you have to agree never to let something like that happen again.
Like I’ve said many times on this page, the fantasy is often way better than the reality.
If someone tries it on in the future, stick together and say no. But don’t let him put all the blame on you – he needs to accept his role in what happened.
Then agree not to talk about it again. Unfortunately, you can’t take back what happened but you can learn from it.
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The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
Email: corporate@standardmedia.co.ke
join Digger Classifieds telegram channel
More stories to check out before you go
The other night my boyfriend and I went to his friend’s house and he had his girlfriend over too. We spent all night drinking and playing games and the other couple were very open sexually.
They made a makeshift bed for us in the living room because we’d had too much to drink to drive home. When the other couple went to their room, my boyfriend and I kissed on the couch.
The other couple then came into the room and started ‘making out’ on the floor next to us. I was incredibly uncomfortable about it.
Then they joined us on the couch at which point I said, “Really? I don’t like this, it’s weird!” But my boyfriend laughed and said, “Why not?” He clearly thought it would be a fun experience.
I tried to enjoy myself. At first, this couple stayed with each other and we did too. But then my boyfriend’s friend started touching me and then my boyfriend started to touch the other girl.
After a few minutes of this, the other guy pushed his girl on to my boyfriend and pulled me on to him and we had sex.
I kept looking over to see my boyfriend and this other girl which was pure torture. I wasn’t having much fun, but just trying to enjoy myself for my boyfriend’s sake.
The other guy led me into the bedroom where we had more sex. But after a couple of minutes I stopped him and told him I couldn’t do it any more and I wasn’t enjoying it.
At that point, my man and the other girl came into the room and I left with my boyfriend.
He told me he wasn’t turned on and he didn’t have intercourse, just “did some other stuff”. I felt so guilty and he was very obviously upset with me. He broke up with me, saying his heart was broken.
He thinks I was having the time of my life! I’ve tried to explain I only went with the flow because I thought it was what he wanted. Why didn’t he stop things? I believe he is just as guilty as I am.
We’re currently ‘on a break’. What should I do? Should I give him his space or try harder to make him understand?
He is just as responsible for this situation as you are – if not more because he was the one who wanted to give it a try.
The fact is, once it was on the cards you probably both did it only because you thought the other was into it and didn’t want to be the killjoy. Loads of situations happen this way.
I think you love each other and want to be together, but there are a lot of raw emotions flying around at the moment, not to mention flashbacks to the night in question.
I think it’s fine to give each other a bit of space to think things over, but try to arrange a date when you can meet to talk about it.
If you decide you want to get back together, then you have to agree never to let something like that happen again.
Like I’ve said many times on this page, the fantasy is often way better than the reality.
If someone tries it on in the future, stick together and say no. But don’t let him put all the blame on you – he needs to accept his role in what happened.
Then agree not to talk about it again. Unfortunately, you can’t take back what happened but you can learn from it.
Your experience on this site will be improved by allowing cookies.
Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated on the latest developments and special
offers!
Pick your favourite topics below for a tailor made homepage just for you
Looks like you're using an ad blocker. We rely on advertising to help fund our site.
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
Email: corporate@standardmedia.co.ke
A man allegedly bet his wife in a poker game and let his friends rape her when he lost.
The unnamed man, who it is claimed was addicted to alcohol and gambling is said to have used his wife as his stake after running out of money.
According to media in India, police initially refused to file the victim's complaint.
However, they are said to have processed it once she approached a court.
The man allegedly let his friends gang-rape his wife after he lost to them, the Daily Star reports.
The victim is said to have gone to a relative's house after the incident.
It is claimed her husband followed her there in his car and apologised.
After she agreed to return home with him, he then is reported to have stopped the car on the way back and let the pair rape her again.
The alleged rapes are said to have taken place in Jaunpur, in Uttar Pradesh.
Uttar Pradesh, known locally as UP, is India’s most populous state and has become notorious for violent crime.
Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated on the latest developments and special offers!
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
Email: corporate@standardmedia.co.ke
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Locals at the coast seem to be engaged in all kinds of financial survival acrobatics to cushion themselves against the harsh economic times.
Against the backdrop of the Kwale incident in which parents of 12 school-going girls were found to have married them off to make ends meet, it has emerged that some men now rent out their own daughters and wives to randy tourists.
A 13-year-old girl from Mtwapa is reported to have been introduced to a 65-year-old white man for sex by her father with the aim of raising school fees.
Hear her: “It all began after I had been sent away from school over fees. Two months later, my father, a hotelier, had not raised fees. Together with my grandmother they introduced me to a white man, claiming it was the only way I would raise school fees.”
The white man was his father’s friend whom he knew after frequenting the hotel where he worked.
“My mother went to Qatar for work and has never returned and I doubt she is still married to my father because they no longer communicate,” she says, adding that she had no option but to befriend the white man.
The relationship went on for close to a year and ended after the girl finished school and secured a lowly job.
“He began by paying Sh3,000, at times Sh5,000 and went on until at some point he would pay tens of thousands,” she recalls.
In yet another bizarre case, a certain Riziki told this writer how she was in form two when her parents asked her to drop out and help them fend for their family.
“My father, who was a beach boy, helped me get a job of selling ornaments to tourists at the beach. But one day, he shocked me when he told me a tourist he was with had liked me and wanted to have a good time with me,” she painfully remembers.
That is how Riziki was introduced to sex with tourists. “My father also taught me Italian and German so as to easily communicate with clients and warned me never to reveal I was his daughter to them,” she says.
Reportedly, such cases where underage girls are turned into to sex objects are common in Malindi, Kilifi and Mtwapa.
“There are way too many sex pests roaming coastal cities. The unfortunate bit is, parents to young girls have no qualms pimping them out to them, so long as they are making money,” says Kazungu Kai, a local from Kilifi.
Business is booming, so much so that we now have cartels who go around villages, convincing poor parents and recruiting 14, 15 and 16-year-old girls, for they are in high demand.
Alice Ngao, a child activist, says it’s unfortunate that some parents now “sell” their daughters to sex pests.
“It’s a big problem, with Mtwapa being turned into a Sodom and Gomorrah of sorts. It’s not just parents, some girls have also increasingly become materialistic and hawk themselves to these men,” says Ngao.
She says the problem is complex, now that some older commercial sex workers introduce their teenage daughters into the business.
The harsh economic times and desperation have pushed some men to levels that they not only pimp out their daughters but rent out their wives.
The case of a certain Kimani is most memorable. After a tourist asked him to hook him up with a local woman to spend some quality time, the tour guide offered his own wife, masquerading as his sister.
“Why should I make another woman rich yet my wife is jobless?” That is the question Kimani asked himself, before making the strange decision of renting away his wife for weeks.
Knowing how badly they were doing financially, Kimani’s wife didn’t object to the idea.
“All you need to do is to pretend to be my sister, to avoid any suspicion and awkwardness. The proceeds will be used to pay fees for our kids,” Kimani confessed to having told his wife.
Kimani and his wife of 10 years have been in the business for a while now and make up to Sh40,000 in a good month when she gets good clients.
Local authorities, including Mtwapa police boss say such cases are common, but they can’t do anything when no official complaint has been made.
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