My Newest President An Asshole

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My Newest President An Asshole
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President Trump’s Latest Tweet Is Undeniable Proof That He’s an Asshole
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I think at this point it’s no longer speculation or conjecture or mean-spiritedness to call President Donald Trump an asshole. He is an asshole. He knows it, his staff knows it, his supporters know it. And I think one of his best traits is being an asshole—an unabashed, unashamed asshole.
Trump is the physical embodiment of the song “Despacito.” “Despacito” is an asshole. It’s a song that hates us all and yet is loved by many, and I don’t know one person who has downloaded or listened to it fully with admiration. Today it was nominated for a Grammy, proving that assholes stay winning.
In typical asshole fashion, the president has taken to Twitter, as assholes generally do, to announce that he’s meeting with “Chuck and Nancy”—aka House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.)—and that he doesn’t see a deal happening that will avoid a government shutdown.
Let’s examine this tweet to prove that Trump is “Despacito,” indeed. I must admit that I don’t know what despacito means, but I assume it means assholes that wear wide-leg True Religion jeans, mesh trucker hats and Von Dutch-style T-shirts, which is basically another way of saying “major asshole.”
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First, “Chuck and Nancy” is mad asshole-y, not because he called them “Chuck and Nancy” as if they were a lounge singing group, but because he put the phrase in quotes. We all know that quotes are the language of the asshole. It’s the emphasis that clearly states, “Hey, look at what I’m doing to their names.” It’s the kind of thing that only an asshole would do.
Second, he’s lying. In fact, the president is a liar, which is a whole other story that will be written before the end of the year, but for the sake of proving he’s an asshole, let’s just stick to the lie in the tweet. “Chuck and Nancy” don’t want soft borders, they just don’t believe in increasing taxes to pay for a dumbass wall that no one wants except Trump supporters who are major “despacitos,” which I assume means khaki- and “MAGA”-hat-wearing, tiki-torch-carrying, goofy-haircut-getting assholes.
Lastly, nothing says asshole like random capitalization. The only thing more annoying than random caps, or all caps, is Comic Sans font. I probably shouldn’t be putting this in print, but when I’m on my passive-aggressive despacitos shit, I Comic Sans all over the place. Using random caps doesn’t just denote that the president might be a highly functioning third-grader, it proves that he’s an asshole.
Lastly-lastly, what the hell does he expect to come from a meeting about which he announces on social media that nothing will come from said meeting? That’s a really mature way to president, and shows that being an asshole is really the president’s full-time job.



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By Hoai Nam March 28, 2022 March 28, 2022
Presidents and asssholes drinking card game
How to play presidents and asssholes card game
Presidents and asssholes drinking game rules
Presidents and asssholes drinking card game rules
How to play asshole the drinking game
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How to play presidents and asssholes drinking game
Presidents and asssholes card game rules – Presidents and Assholes is a popular drinking game for groups of four or more people to play. The goal is to run out of cards first in order to become President for the following round. The remaining players are awarded other social positions, such as Vice President and Citizen, based on when they run out of cards. The Asshole is the final person to run out of cards. Following rounds include special regulations based on each player’s social level, making the game even more fun!
1. For the game, gather at least four participants around a table. At least four players are required to play Presidents and Assholes. If you use a conventional 52-card deck, you may have up to 7 players. You’ll need two normal decks of cards if you wish to play with 8 or more people.
2. Assign each participant to a seat with varying levels of comfort. Place a huge, comfortable chair at the table’s head, a few normal chairs around it, and an unpleasant seat, such as a crate or cardboard box, nearby. This squishy seat is set aside for future Assholes. The comfortable chair will always go to the President!
3. For the first round, choose a player to serve as the dealer. You may pick anybody to be the dealer for the first round. The Asshole (the loser of the previous round) will deal the cards in following rounds.
4. Distribute all of the cards to the participants. The dealer should mix the cards after removing both Jokers from the deck. Then, beginning with the person to their left, they will evenly distribute the cards clockwise around the table among the participants.
5. Take a look at your deck of cards and see what you have. After the cards have been dealt, each player should pick up their cards and examine them. To keep organized throughout games, you could wish to arrange them in a certain order or place similar with like.
6. Sort the cards from Ace to 4 in decreasing order. The aces are the cards with the greatest value in the deck. The cards are then ordered in ascending order from King, Queen, Jack, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, and 4 to King, Queen, Jack, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, and 4. The lowest-ranking cards in the deck are the fours.
7. Ignore the suit and color of the cards. The card suits don’t important to Presidents and Assholes. The colors red and black may also be ignored. Your sole concern is the card’s rank. Higher ranks usually take precedence over lesser levels. Each player’s turn’s goal is to play the highest-ranking card or cards required to trump the preceding move.
1. To begin the game, place a single card or a set of cards face up on the table. The player to the dealer’s left takes the first turn. A single high-ranking card should be placed face-up on the table by the player. They may also play a set of equal-rank cards, such as a pair or three of a kind.
2. Continue going clockwise around the table, taking turns. There will be no simultaneous gaming; each participant will have a turn. Play your cards when it’s your turn. After you’ve finished, the following person has their turn. Continue in this manner until one of the players runs out of cards.
3. To defeat the previous play, play a higher card or sequence of cards. If the player in front of you plays a single 9, you must play a 10 or higher to defeat their single card play. You may also outsmart them by using a matching set of cards, such as a pair or three of a kind. If the person who came before you played a set of cards, you’ll need to play a set of cards with a higher rating to defeat them.
4. To clear the table and begin a new round, play a 2. During their turn, any player who plays a 2 face up clears the table. This implies that the table is cleaned and a new round starts, regardless of what cards are currently on the table. In this new round, whomever plays the 2 gets to go first.
5. A single three may be used as a wild card, while two threes can be used to empty the table. Threes are wild cards that may be used to represent any value except two. If someone plays two threes, the table will be cleared and a new round will begin (just like when a 2 is played).
6. If you can’t play a card when it’s your turn, take a sip of your beer . If a player is unable to play a card, he or she must drink their beer and pass the game to the next player. Passing one’s turn is also an option, although one must still take a drink.
1. To win the round and become President, get rid of your cards first. The goal of Presidents and Assholes is to run out of cards as quickly as possible. The first person to play all of their cards wins the round and is elected President. In the sequence in which they run out of cards, the other players are assigned a social rank.
2. Play the round until all of the cards have been used up. The sequence in which the remaining players run out of cards determines the social rank for the following round. The Vice President is the next player to leave the game after the President. Except for the final person to run out, the other players are considered Citizens. The last individual is the round’s Asshole and loser.
3. According to the norms of social status, switch seats . The participants should change seats for the following round such that they are seated clockwise in order of rank. The President sits in the comfortable chair at the head of the table, the Vice President on his left, and so on. The Asshole sits atop a crate or cardboard box to the President’s right.
4. To begin the following round, have the Asshole deal the cards. The Asshole will begin the next round by dealing the first card to the President, and then go clockwise from there. After dealing the cards, the Asshole must present the President with their highest card.
5. To begin the round, have the President play the first card or group of cards. Players may tell individuals of lower social standing to drink anytime they wish throughout this round. At any moment, the President may order anybody to drink. Of course, no one can force the President to consume alcohol. At any point, anybody may instruct the Asshole to drink!
Requirements to Hold Office. According to Article II of the U.S. Constitution, the president must be a natural-born citizen of the United States, be at least 35 years old, and have been a resident of the United States for 14 years.
The first player to play his last card is designated president, the second vice president, the third (or second to last if more than four play) senator, and the last one left with any card in hand is the bum.
Starting the First Round. Gather 4 to 7 players. You cannot play Presidents with fewer than 4 people. If you want to include more than 7, however, you will need to shuffle a second deck of cards into the pile.
In some variants, a player cannot end on a 2 or a joker (or any card that instantly clears the deck), otherwise they immediately become scum/super scum, regardless of who actually got rid of their cards last. (For example, in game, Bob and Alice are the only people left. Bob has an ace and a 2 in his hand.
In some games, the “Last Card Rule” can be applied, whereby if a player is down to one card they must say “Knocking” before their turn ends. If they do not, they must pick up another card (or 5 if playing Turbo Switch).
This one person must fill a number of different roles at the same time. These roles are: (1) chief of state, (2) chief executive, (3) chief administrator, (4) chief diplomat, (5) commander in chief, (6) chief legislator, (7) party chief, and (8) chief citizen.
In this version all the threes and the two jokers are wild cards that can represent any other card. The twos are the highest cards but have no special property.
At the beginning of each hand, the Boss passes his lowest card to the Bum, who passes his highest non-Joker to the Boss. The Middleman neither passes nor receives cards. A trick ends following two consecutive passes. The first player out of cards scores 2 points and the second scores 1 point.
Card Rank. Highest to lowest – Ace, King, Queen, Jack, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3. The 2s are clear cards, and when played into the middle, the pile is cleared.
A rotating judge pulls a card and reads it out loud. Everyone else races to do what the card says. The judge determines who was first and last to complete the task, and those players give out a drink and take a drink, respectively. Repeat until thoroughly hydrated.
When everyone is ready, each player turns over their own tiles and tries to form a word, or several words in a crossword shape. The first player to use all seven letters shouts “take 2” and everyone must then take two more tiles and try to form words, or add to words, in their own crossword.
Yes, you can end the game with an action card. If it is however, a Draw Two or Wild Draw Four card, the next player must draw the 2 or 4 cards respectively. These cards are counted when the points are totaled.
declare war. decide how federal money will be spent. interpret laws. choose Cabinet members or Supreme Court Justices without Senate approval.
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