My Mother Is A Bitch

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My Mother Is A Bitch
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Does your mum have a favourite child? 
Yes. Of course not! I'm an only child, so she doesn't have a choice. 
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She put me through a lot of trauma. Instead of being a real mother she just USED ME AS A SLAVE. I cooked for her, massaged her paining muscles, cleaned house, always showered her with hugs and kisses. She's a big narcissist and ALWAYS criticizing and comparing me. No matter what I do, she always finds faults in me. I remember when I was about to jump off the building because she FORCED ME TO STAY ON MY MAJOR. She always thought about herself!!! Even if I'm sick today, she couldn't care less. Whenever i become emotional and demand love and affection from her, she gets irritated. Then I lashed out, she said that I DON'T DESERVE any human being and I deserve to live alone. These words HURT MY SOUL THE MOST. Now I've had ENOUGH and will NEVER FORGIVE HER. She's a FAKE BITCH who is obsessed with her public image and making connections who she can use.
She frequently makes me feel that I'M WORTHLESS, Clingy, STUPID AND I DON'T DESERVE ANYONE. She is competitive with me. It feels like I'm living with an enemy.
My mother is a BITCH, I wish she dies painfully and alone. Why do bad people get good children?
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If you are healthy enough to work and support yourself, cut ties with her, forget she exists, and find someone who loves you instead of treating you like shit, and you will no longer suffer from all that pent up rage, because at that point, all your mom's power is gone, your problems melted away, and her assholish behavior will result in her pushing everyone away until she indeed is alone. The best revenge to an abusive control freak, is to make all their efforts wasted and live a better life than them.
Gee, if i didn't know any better i would say you are mad. What do you think your mother felt when she had to wipe your ass and feed your pie hole. Dress you as well as wash your shit covered clothes?
My grandmother did that and she raised me until she was alive.
You are not alone. My grandmother is also a narcissist who gaslights my mom and has never shown her any love. All she does is yell at my mom, tell her she has an "anger problem," and says she needs counseling. There is no helping these people. I truly feel for you and if you want to talk more feel free to PM me.
Thank you so much dear for understanding me. Even my fake mom also says that I have anger issues after neglecting and insulting me.
I'm just a normal person who is doing her best in college and training myself to become capable for the future jobs. According to her I do nothing and I am a fool who will fail in life.
Yes, this is the typical behavior. And it starts young. My grandmother used to even torture animals as a child and she thought it was funny. Like she would put hot sauce in the neighborhood dog's water bowl and laugh when it was in pain.
Sorry, the other post you posted didn't appear to me until now. But yes, my grandmother sent my mom off to college at 18 and never visited her or spoke to her the whole time. In her mind, it was like "good riddance" and my mom has been on her own since. And it has taken her 20+ years to process the fact that she was born to a narcissistic woman who really couldn't care less what happens to her.
But the most important thing you can remember is that you are NORMAL and LOVABLE. Your mom can make you doubt yourself. My grandmother would even call my mom a potential murderer when my mom was only 8 years old. But remind yourself that you are lovable and it is not your fault at all that your mom is the way she is. You deserve a good man/woman in your life and this person will show you what real love is.
Thank you sweetie. Not even my own mother spoke those compassionate words to me. Surprisingly she was about to beat me very badly when I was 8 year old but then i got angry and defended myself by pulling out a dozen of her hair strands. Then she called me a murderer. I didn't meant to pull a dozen of her hair strands out but I just wanted her to not hurt me. She always tells me to go for ARRANGED marriage and even if the husband is abusive, it's my duty to obey, please him and adjust. But ironically she says that if her husband was abusive then she would have left him. What a selfish demon she is.
I am so sorry you experienced that. You need to get as far away from her as you can and try to start healing yourself. I don't know if you've ever heard of reiki, but I find that sessions really do work to help me balance out my energy, and I feel much more energized after. No matter what she says or does, the best thing you can do is to not respond. They try to get a response out of you, and when you don't respond, that is the biggest annoyance to them. It is also the only way you can truly heal.
You are now drinking poison and hoping your mom dies. Let go of your past and become a productive adult.
She lives in the same roof. I'll just avoid her.. I'll be free next year
Narcissism is extremely damaging, I hope that you can recover in time.
She sounds like my ex wife. I had to cut all ties to her because she's horrible.
I wish that my dad had also divorced her. He is just too scared to lose anyone. She doesn't deserve kids, husband and friends. I hope she rots alone. How can someone be so ungrateful and say things like 'you never cooked for me' WHEN I worked my ass off to feed her new varieties of restraurant style dishes made by me. She even enjoyed those. She just said those lines because I jokingly told her 'why are you watching a food tiktok repeatedly'?
She's selfish like my ex. She has no memory or appreciation of anything anybody has done for her. I was basically a slave for my ex and after she cheated and left she told everybody lies that I'm a deadbeat dad and useless and the marriage was bad. What a load of shit! It hurts so bad to love someone and not be appreciated or even acknowledged by them. She's abusive just like your mom. I hope you can get away from that nasty, selfish person.
Thanks and I'm glad you got rid of your ex wife. I personally wish to kill people like them. Not only they're evil, they also make us feel like WE DON'T DESERVE ANY HUMAN TO BE WITH US. These words she said today seriously hurt my soul. Now she's really dead to me. I was a stupid to forgive and forget but NOW , I'll show her the consequences of being selfish, inconsiderate and ungrateful.
"Why do bad people get good children? " My mother is an evil bitch too and in my case the apple didn't fall far away from tree.
This guy here, doesn't have the first fucking clue what narcissism is.
So stop communicating with her stop feeling into what she does
I can't until I get a job that let's me afford basic needs. My father is my support system. She's just a useless carcass rotting in my home.

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I hear ya! My mother had a years long affair with my dad’s brother. The entire family would have been better if he would’ve divorced her. He recently died. She made it all about HER as expected. He was in hospice care, multiple ailments, and looked like a skeleton with skin and open sores. As he lay there actively dying she put on a show for EVERYONE! “He’s going to be with me another year!” “Why? Why did this have to happen?” He was 86 years old. She’s 83. She called in the hospice nurse early one day because she was convinced I was killing him with the morphine. I’m an RN. She put on her “I’m a sweet little girl” show for the hospice nurse. “He’s going to be alright isn’t he? He’s going to be with me for another year!” I know who she REALLY is. One hour a day EVERYDAY bitching and complaining about anything and everything. I stayed all summer 3 years ago to care for her when she broke her hip. She belittled and demeaned him every chance she got. Basically, she was only “happy” making him miserable. Now that he’s dead, she will have to have someone to hate on. It’s me. I blocked her, a sister and a stoner brother when I left MY DAD’S house for the final time. She now tells others she hates me, she disowns me (hallelujah!), I’m a drug addict (I showed zero emotion for her stupid manipulative games while dad was actively dying) and I’ve been on an anti-depressant for 13 years. She has “one beer” everyday on her porch. Magically there will be 3 cans hidden behind the cushions for her “one beer”. She is wickedly cruel behind everyone’s back always stirring up trouble (especially between the four adult children) and then plays ignorant when things blow up. I hate her. I always hoped my dad would outlive her and find a woman who would treat him with kindness. My dad and I had a special bond. When I came to his house for his final days (to make sure he died a dignified and comfortable death) he asked, “So you think I’m going to die?” I said, “Yes. No one here gets out alive. But I don’t think you’re going to die today!” I asked him, “Are you Ok, Dad?” He replied, “F#*& No!” And we laughed. I never saw my mother kiss him as many times as she did when he was dying and unresponsive. LOUD kisses on his open mouth. “Don’t leave me! You can’t leave me!” Made me sick. She did everything she could to make him miserable his whole life. Lied about everything. Complained about everything. Nothing he ever gave her was enough. How many times did I hear her say, “I DESERVE (whatever someone else had that was better than what my dad gave her) that! I really think you have deserved every right to have a peaceful Christmas without your nasty mother there ruining it. Shut that door to the past nastiness she brought. Lock it. I’m now 63. I slammed that door shut and it’s locked. I helped my dad die a pain free death. I watched him going through the transition of the spiritual release and I smiled. I was happy for him. It was beautiful. I’m the only one who stayed up all night long giving him the meds every two hours. I feel good about helping him die peacefully no matter how many doors and drawers my mother would slam when she was awake trying to make him stay awake too. Be proud of how many years you tolerated her hate and now get rid of it. Hateful people seem to live forever. You earned a peaceful time in your and your children’s lives!
I am wondering if I will end up like my mother. Will I be manipulative and abusive? Is it inevitable?
Hi, I am going through the same thing. Luckily, my mom is in great health for 82 but she's the most narcissistic person other than my 3 brothers. My dad passed away 6 years ago, and since his passing, the mental abuse has gotten worse. My brothers turned against each other, all of them turned against me, and I've been threatened by all 3 and assaulted by one just for trying to help in situations I've been asked to help in. My mother has always loved my brothers more than me, she's blamed me for all her failures and blames me for my brothers' narcissism. The only person in my family that ever showed respect for me was my dad, he was my hero. My mother would take responsibility for all my achievements, and claim had it not been for her, I wouldn't have achieved all the things I've worked hard for my entire life. I never ONCE borrowed money from her, in fact, I've given her more money back when she'd give me money for birthdays and Christmases. I want nothing from her and asked her to remove me from her will because I am deathly scared of my brothers. They are all gaslighting me and threatening to have me Baker acted for no reason. I've had a career for 32 years and retired, started another career, have owned 2 homes on my own, own a small business and work a 9-5, and never once needed anything from anyone. Recently, she spent the weekend at my house and I asked her to call when she got home like I always do. It was 45 minutes and she still had not called, she wouldn't answer my calls so I jumped in my car and drove to her house. There was a car in the driveway I did not recognize and the gate was open I walked toward the gate and called out Mom? I heard a blood curdling scream, and I mean it wasn't a normal scream of being spooked. I yelled out Mom! And there she was with my younger, evil brother that calls himself satan and his friend that he's insulted so many times. She turned around and said " you scared me!" Completely overplayed..I said "you couldn't have called?" ..and i walked to my car and tried to leave. She came up to the car, after she made me out to be the bad guy in front of the boys, and said she didn't have a chance to call. I said whatever as long as you're ok. I get a call later with her screaming at me, telling me she's old enough to take care of herself and why did I have to call her friend and drive over? I said I had to go and hung up. She called back again and asked if I wanted to come over, I said no I have to work early. That night I received a text from my brother's friend telling me that I need therapy and there's something wrong with me because I was worried about my mom. I know my mother like the back of my hand, she made something as innocent as this into something bigger because she knows my brother hates me and she always has to be the center of a man's attention. He lives off of her and he's always been her little baby that can do no harm. I called her and told her what he and his friend did and she didn't want to hear it again. She lost her mind, screaming at me so I hung up. There is no winning with a narc mother, she will hate you for all your good and embrace all the bad in the kids she loves. I've decided to walk away. The mental abuse, and sometimes physical abuse when my dad wasn't looking, has been enough for me. I don't have family anymore, I've decided to love myself and stop giving to people that have no use for me unless I'm giving. It's taken me my entire life to get to where I am emotionally. I've always loved my mom and brothers despite the abuse, but truthfully, I don't like them as people. They are the most narcissistic, gas lighting, inhuman, dark souls I've ever met. My dad was an angel and even they've talked bad about him. Walk away, don't let your mother steal everything left in you. My mother has ruined my relationships with boyfriends, friends and family members, all out of jealousy.
I have an elderly mom that can never behave herself around others--she is rude, makes nasty comments - very much like a toddler. She is also very hateful toward me and only "behaved" somewhat well when my dad was living as he would tell her not to do certain mean things that she did. Now it's full-blown narcisism. I hope you get to have some joy and peace especially during your holidays. Life is too short to be around someone so hateful.
No you’re not alone. You’re lucky she’s in a facility. You can now visit as much or as little as you want.
You are not alone, I have both my parents that live in their home with carers at leat twice a day. My farther is lovely, no issues with him, always trying to work with the care providers and a happy disposition despite having cancer and parkinsons. My mother on the other hand has been nasty and controlling all her life, she is verbaly abusive to my farther and until she became bed bound was on occasions physically violent towards him. She controls from weakness, crys when challenges to her viewpoint are made. I have never got on with my mother and being an only child have no sibling support. Fortunathly, I do not, and have never suffered from depression, but I can sympathise with your situation and fully understand how looking after your mother could bring on bouts of depresson. My father is 91 and my mother 81 so whilst my father is at end of life my mother could go on like this for ten plus years, and I am sure her nastiness will only grow with advancing years. Please try and shed that guilt, as carers we only do what we do. I am sure you do all you can in a tricky situation and don't neglect your relationship with your children because of your mother.
Hi TreadingWater, this was sent so long ago but it's worth replying to. I feel for you because I am currently feeling the same way about my 88 year old mother, I am 57. I am an only child, I had a miserable upbringing, my parents fought constantly, shouting and throwing things, mainly her. She is truly psychotic and a horror show. Now she is old with dementia. She is rude, nasty and speaks to me like I am a piece of pooh. This is not always but she takes complete offence at everything that comes out of my mouth, if I don't say anything she complains that I am miserable. My best friend, who knows her, told me to walk away permanently and leave her to rot. This is because she witnessed my mother not helping me at all when I had a premature child at 30 weeks, she didn't care at all. I hate here. Sorry, this is cathartic for me I guess
I truly wish there was more assistance and support for caregivers and adult children living with abusive/ mentally ill/ mentally declining elderly parents. There are so many of us living in silent agony every day at home but there are few opportunities to find each other in our communities and meet in person. Nor are there enough local resources to assist us in helping care/babysit difficult parents.
Hang in there. I so know how you feel.
HanaLee, I know what it's like because I've had to deal with it. For a few years I was working full-time for two invalid, incontinent dementia clients. One crapped and peed all over the place on the way to the bathroom. Then overflow the toilet with paper. It would be flowing all over the floor for me like a geiser of toilet water, piss, and watery crap. Talk about Old Faithful... The other would get on the portable commode next to her bed in the living room, crap her brains out, then tip it over daily right onto the already filthy wall-to-wall carpeting trying to get up from it. I finally just put her in diapers. She was none too pleased, but it was the only way Then after my paying workday was done I could come home to my mother's sh*t bucket filled brimming with a whole days worth of pee and crap. Then deal with her anxiety flip-outs and fight insitgating until bedtime. I get you, sister. Believe me I do. Please consider some in-home caregiving help. Or even putting your mother in a nursing home for a bit of a respite break. Yu do not have to be her caregiver anymore. You don't have to and maybe she's at the point where she needs to be in a facility. She sounds like too much for one person. Also, stop trying to take her out, or do things with her, or give her things she might enjoy. Like my mother, yours doesn't want to enjoy anything. She doesn't want any joy or pleasure or even hope in her life. They only want disappointment, misery, discord, sadness, and resentment. Stop breaking your own he
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