My Little Penis
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This song is now available on iTunes. http://itunes.apple.com/au/album/my-l...
Music and lyrics by Peter Donelly and vocals by Paul Hogan.
Directed by Liam Firmager. Director of http://www.rickythemovie.com.au/
The trials and tribulations of having a penis.
Peter and Paul would like to thank Liam Firmager, The Oakleigh Football Club, The Berwick Montuna Golf Club and our amazing cast.
Copyright@PeterDonelly
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Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about My Little Penis . We are sorry they insist on being this lame.
~ Dick Head, the My Little Penis project manager
Welcome to the Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing! (Amateur means we don't pay you to do it.)
This is where uncyclopedia.wikia.com wound up. You might as well pick a user name . We have no "partners" that want to sell you stuff. Giving your email simply lets you recover your password; we don't send spam. Uncyclopedians get a talk page, private edit area, and a welcome, maybe, if you actually edit; and we won't de-platform you for your views, as long as they're funny.
My Little Penis is a new toy--some might say a new doll --manufactured by Hasbro, the makers of My Little Pony. The new toy is intended to "cash in on little girl 's Penis Envy by providing them with a cute, non-threatening little penis of their own," according to Hasbro spokeswoman Ima P. Ness.
Sigmund Freud invented the concept of Penis Envy in the "loo" of a Public House , back before privacy partitions were invented. The punter at the adjacent urinal had a really big tallywhacker , he wrote in his seminal 1910 tome, Penis Envy: The Etiology of Psychophallic Inferiority :
Hasbro's engineers debated whether to make the toy penis realistic or symbolic in appearance, coming to a quick and easy consensus:
“It was a no-brainer, really. You see mostly, it's mothers who buy toys, and women find the male sexual organs unattractive. If the women I date had their way, all men would be eunuchs, and we'd use turkey basters to artificially inseminate the few women who actually want to conceive, bear, deliver, and rear children . We decided early on to make My Little Penis as cute and cuddly--and non-threatening--as My Little Pony . We even gave the toy penis a brushable mane of synthetic hair. In addition, the Pegasus Penis is equipped with foldable wings, and the Unicorn has a second, smaller penis that grows from its glans, or “head,” as its horn.”
The first generation of My Little Penis was produced in a variety of bright, cheerful colors and was made, like My Little Pony, of durable plastic . Each penis had a unique identifying mark, or brand, over the right testicle .
The first generation of the toys was a limited release of 100,000 to enhance their value as collectibles, and because Marketing was unsure, despite advance market research, how many girls may be interested in acquiring a My Little Penis of their own. For infants and toddlers, Hasbro will offer My Widdle Pee Pee , a mobile suspended over the crib or playpen. If the toy does well in the market, Hasbro may also introduce a Bareback Mountain My Little Penis action figure for boys “with latent homosexual tendencies,” Ness added.
To introduce the first generation of My Little Penis, Hasbro is sponsoring an animated television series of the same name. Set in Cream Valley , a landscape awash in Penis milk and inhabited by Vi Russ and her Legion of Venereal Diseases, against whom Minty, Snuzzle, Butterscotch, Bluebelle, Cotton Candy, and Blossom will fight, using their mints, pillow, quilt, pansy, cotton candy stick, and flowerpot as magical weapons , the cartoon show will promote safe sex and xenophobia.
Hasbro is also releasing a Friendship Garden to serve as the habitat for the My Little Penis figures, which the company describes as equipped with:
Two “very special editions” of My Little Penis, Mr. Stiffy and Penny Traitor, will be available only through mail order. These Penises are transsexual fetish figures intended for adults only. These special edition Penises are packaged in plastic bubbles attached to a back card and come with Penis Points that can be redeemed for condoms , lubricating jellies, and other sex-related items.
Future My Little Penis toys may include custom models. Hasbro will sell cheap, generic My Little Penis figures stripped of every feature except the mane to allow collectors to create their own customized Penises from various parts and supplies kits that the company will sell "on a sort of grab bag basis: customers will get whatever parts and accessories are included in the kit, but they won't know which parts they've bought until they get them home and open the kits," Ness explains:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nodgkwkmaW0
https://uncyclopedia.ca/wiki/My_Little_Penis
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