My Kinky Little Daughter In Lingerie

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By Sarah Newton For Mailonline 10:18 BST 10 May 2016 , updated 16:01 BST 10 May 2016
It was our much-anticipated yearly mother-daughter weekend away, at the London Hilton Metropole, for a Top Model catwalk event. 
We were dressed up to the nines strutting across the hotel lobby when I caught the eye of a mother and her two daughters staring at us, or more specifically staring at my eldest daughter.
She looked my daughter up and down in disgust, tutted and exclaimed to her two tweenage daughters 'If you ever go out dressed like that I will kill you!'.
Yes, the dress was low cut, but inappropriate enough to attract such malice? I don't think so.
A few other hotel guests stopped to stare but we just carried on. Because for us this is a normal occurrence.
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I'm proud to say I've brought my daughters, Bronte,19, and Freya, 15, up not to feel shame about showing their bodies off. 
I also make a point of never making negative comments about other women's bodies. Sadly I feel I may be the minority.
One friend offered me a coat to cover Bronte's legs up when on the Tube because 'she was asking for it'. She was wearing a short leather skirt with boots and tights.
Another time, an entire family approached me on the train suggesting my daughter 'cover-up'. The offending item that day? A playsuit with a cut out stomach. 
Then there was the concerned family member who called to suggest I take a picture of Freya off Facebook because I might be encouraging 'unwanted attention'. She was wearing a tight knee length dress with a piece cut out under the chest.
None of these outfits are outfits I would call inappropriate. That aside, I'm not sure what gives people the right to tell my daughters to cover up, or judge me on my parenting because I choose to allow them to do what they want with their bodies.
As a parenting coach/expert, I know only too well that body image is a huge issue for young girls. As part of the research I carried out for my latest book, I surveyed four hundred girls aged 11 to 14 about their bodies. 
A staggering 70 per cent of them wanted to change their body in some way. One girl told me how she regularly skipped breakfast and lunch to stay slim, when I asked what her mum thought she said 'Oh, she was the one who suggested it'. 
Another told me how at 11 her mum was already saving up for the boob job she was going to have for her sixteenth birthday. 
Then there was the girl who broke down in tears in front of me because that morning her mum had told her she looked fat and insisted she replace her skirt with a pair of trousers as she looked like a 'tart'.
I believe as a mother my job is raise my daughters to feel 100 per cent happy with their bodies and feel able to show as much or as a little as they want - after all it is their body. And I try to encourage other mothers to do the same.
I was in Starbucks last week with Freya, the place was packed with mothers and their children, a young girl about 16 walked in wearing a skin-tight short black dress. 
One mum wearing a padded jacket and riding boots piped up 'How can she go out wearing that?' 'She looks like a stripper,' chipped in another wearing leggings and a baggy flowered top 'I'd never let my child go out wearing that'.
All this was said in front of their own young daughters whom I am sure were listening intensely to their mother's body shaming attitudes.
Seeing that the girl could clearly hear their comments and was close to tears, I went over to her and said loudly 'You look amazing!' 
She shifted uncomfortably and smiled, she stood a little straighter, stared towards the gaggle of mums and said 'Thank you' . 
They all stared at me blankly, eyes squinted, noses scrunched, coffee cups in hand and then started whispering among themselves.
I want to raise my daughters to be respectful, kind and considerate to other girls. I don't want them to be judgmental, bitchy and cruel. 
When Bronte decides to wear a short skirt I don't tell her to cover up in case men get the wrong idea. In fact I applaud her for feeling confident enough to wear what they want 
Therefore as a mother I model the behaviour I want to see in them, and I think more mums should be doing the same.
When my daughter Freya puts on a tight dress I don't wince, I tell her it shows her beautiful curves. 
When Bronte decides to wear a short skirt I don't tell her to cover up in case men get the wrong idea. In fact I applaud her for feeling confident enough to wear what they want.
And if either of my daughters decide to go braless so they can wear a low cut dress, I don't tell them to cover up, I help them put on the body tape.
If only that lady at the hotel had thought before she spoke out in judgment. She knows nothing of my daughter and the struggles she has faced or my reasons for allowing her to celebrate her body in whatever way feels appropriate for her.
We were at the hotel that night because my daughter was judging the model competition. The same model completion she entered three years ago to help her get over her own body image issues. 
Issues caused by the result of other girls passing comment on how she looks, a cause so close to her heart she has since written a book on the topic.
No young girl deserves to feel shame about their body, whatever clothes she puts on. 
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