My Husband Is A Crossdresser

My Husband Is A Crossdresser

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In this blog post, we will talk about a new typology of men, after metrosexuals, lumbersexuals and hipsters, more exactly about the tendency of men to wear women’s clothes and to borrow women’s gestures and vocabulary.
As women change their hairstyles, clothing cuts and make-up from one season to another, men’s fashion transformations have been deeper for several years now and have given rise to all sorts of terms meant to describe as accurately as possible the “new type of man “.
The metrosexual appeared first. He is described as a neat, well-groomed man who dresses according to the latest fashion trends and to whom cosmetics are no stranger.
That’s how people got to know the type of man who waxes and cuts his hair at the salon, not at the barber.
The term itself represents the idea of a city man, being invented by the British journalist Mark Simpson.
The aesthetic sense of the metrosexual then underwent a counterbalancing mutation and thus the lumbersexual appeared.
It is a fashion in which men took care to look carefree.
They wore a large beard like that of woodcutters (hence the term), wore heavy boots and wore thick clothes, and their hair was arranged in such a way as to look untidy.
After this outburst of lumbersexual masculinity subsided, in response to excessive care for the metrosexual’s own person, hipsters appeared.
We all noticed on the street men with bare ankles, skinny pants, retro glasses, a scarf around his neck, a shoulder bag, a hat on his head and headphones in his ears.
It was another step towards the psychological and clothing feminization of the man.
This feminization has reached paroxysmal proportions with the new fashion, the current one: men wearing skirts, blouses with necklines in feminine colours or accessories specific to women.
Gynosexuals find a major satisfaction in wearing clothes that give them an effeminate touch.
This new trend could be called Ginosexuality (commonly known as crossdressing).
The term comes from the ancient Greek language, in which the word Gyne meant woman.
Hence the word “androgynous” (Andras – man, Gyne – woman).
Ginosexual is meant to distinguish this new fashion, from the idea of a male transvestite.
Crossdressing men are not transvestites, because they do not want to pass themselves off as women.
The difference is that transvestite men arrogate their female identity, they are perceived as belonging more to the female sex.
Unlike them, crossdressing men accept their masculine identity, genetics and biology, but find a major satisfaction in wearing clothes that give them an effeminate touch.
They do not wear wigs like transvestites, nor mini skirts.
According to their belief, there are men who explore their feminine side and do so through clothing.
They can be both heterosexual and homosexual. That’s why the big fashion designers have launched collections of women’s clothes for men.
A few decades ago, such a thing was inconceivable for a man.
Nowadays, men steal from their partners both the manicure or pedicure appointment and the clothes in the closet.
It is the first time in history when men not only know what the colour fuchsia means but also wear it!
Among the stars, Justin Bieber admitted that he wears girls’ jeans, Kanye West appeared publicly in a women’s blouse, Lenny Kravitz was caught wearing heeled boots, and the examples can go on…
The psychological explanation for all this is fascinating.
They have more and more the last word, sometimes they earn more than their partners, they have more responsible jobs than them and this is the first time in history when this happens.
If Darwin were to live, he would say that the feminization of men’s clothing is an evolutionary gesture and represents their way of adapting to the new social structure, in which women have more power than they do.
It’s like borrowing the habits of the new master.
In psychotherapy, it is called a transfer situation.
This increase in the share of women’s values in men’s perception shows the indisputable increase in women’s social impact.
Women now indirectly dictate male behaviour.
There is no need to castrate men symbolically, as Freud said, today men, castrate willingly, taking over women’s clothing being just one of the ways.
From a psychological point of view, there was also a decrease in men’s initiative, associated with submissiveness and surrender of authority.
There are couples in which, at the restaurant, she orders a steak for her while he has a low-calorie salad.
With the effeminacy of men, the masculinization of women also appears.
It has been found that women with leadership positions, high authority or native tendencies to dominate, have more testosterone, which tends to masculinize them.
They have wider shoulders sometimes, thicker and more imposing voices, their hair tends to grow more strongly on the body.
In other words, they become more… men.
Although at first glance, this seems like a win, the women we are talking about are not happy.
Either they are always alone (exactly as it happens, the peak, in the case of very beautiful women), or they relate to men as big children, whom they have to take care of forever.
It is a disappointing feeling for women with authority to feel that they cannot be dominated intellectually, socially or sexually by their men.
The more effeminate you are as a man, the more easily you accept to be led by a woman with authority.
Kanye West, Justin Bieber, Lenny Kravitz, James Franco, Dennis Rodman and many others were not intimidated by the fine distinction between gender styles.
One of the latest appearances of Kanye West was in a women’s blouse.
The rapper appeared on stage at the Coachella festival wearing a blouse from the spring/summer 2011 collection Celine, a French designer.
But is this only the beginning? No, this is one of the latest events of its kind.
Long before, both Prince and … Lenny Kravitz used feminine accessories to stand out.
In September 2010, singer Lenny Kravitz was seen walking the streets of New York wearing a pair of black heeled boots, and before that, Prince did it too.
The singer wears women’s shoes, as a rule, whether they are with transparent heels or stilettos!
But do you remember Dennis Rodman ?
He is the former NBA star, an American basketball player.
At his most recent appearance in public, it is clear that he did not give up his feminine side, which caused so much controversy a few years ago.
Dennis appeared at the launch of his WB Brand Cigar collection, dressed in a black lace T-shirt, V-neck and wearing a chain of black beads and a brown and beige necklace.
Actor James Franco did not escape without being surprised by the carefully positioned lenses of the photographers, but this time in a professional style.
The Spider-Man star showed his less seen part of the audience for Candy magazine, the fall/winter edition 2010-2011, reaching directly on the cover.
Photographed by the famous Terry Richards, the actor wore women’s clothes, to which he accessorized opulent jewellery and bright makeup, blue eyeshadow, false eyelashes and red lipstick.
Justin Bieber was not afraid to admit that he wears girls’ jeans.
The singer even said: “I’ve worn women’s jeans before because they fit me. It’s not a trend, but with anything I feel comfortable, I feel good. “
Rapper Lil Wayne wore a pair of leopard-style women’s low-cut pants at the MTV Video Music Awards. The pants, from Tripp NYC, worth $ 44, he accessorized with a white Louis Vuitton belt.
Pharrell Williams managed to make it work.
The American rapper bought a Birkin bag, one of the most luxurious and famous women’s bags that the stars are always proud of.
The singer has a few in his collection, but one of the most important is the purple Birkin bag made of crocodile skin.
A member of the jury in the “Britain’s Got Talent” competition, Simon Cowell , wears flared pants so as not to see his heels.
Is it better to admit or hide? He is not too proud of his height and wears shoes with heels of a few centimetres to increase his “masculinity” and ego.
Many others have not done it before him: Prince, Bono, David Bowie, Mick Jagger, etc.
What about skirts? Is one of the most emblematic female symbols ignored by men?
Well, not by the American artist, Kid Cudi , who wore a skirt at a New Year’s Eve party in Miami in 2009, which he matched with a simple black T-shirt, a pair of black glasses, a black basque and a pair of “Rare Air” Air Jordan IV sneakers.
If you want to better understand your crossdressing husband, or you are trying to make a decision about your relationship , or you are simply curious and want to know more about this topic, I wholeheartedly recommend you read this blog .
I discovered it by chance while researching this article, and I can say that I was impressed by the story of this couple.
Although she didn’t post much about her crossdressing husband, that first article seemed very insightful.
In this blog post, I talked about a new typology of men, after metrosexuals, lumbersexuals and hipsters, more exactly about the tendency of men to wear women’s clothes and to borrow women’s gestures and vocabulary.
We named them gynosexuals, the term coming from the ancient Greek language, in which the word Gyne meant woman.
But this type of men is known as cross-dressing.
There are men who explore their feminine side and do so through clothing. They can be both heterosexual and homosexual .
That’s why the big fashion designers have launched collections of women’s clothes for men.
If you have any questions or comments on the content please feel free to share them!
Theschooloflife.com – The Psychology of Cross-Dressing
Brown, George. (1994). Women in relationships with cross-dressing men: A descriptive study from a nonclinical setting. Archives of sexual behaviour. 23. 515-30.
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Home » Crossdressing Articles » Help! My Husband is a Crossdresser!
So you’ve discovered that your husband is a crossdresser. Maybe you stumbled across their hidden cache of clothing and makeup, or after years of bottling up a secret which they thought was shameful they couldn’t take it any longer and revealed it to you. Maybe you’re scared and confused about what this means about him, and what it means about your relationship. Maybe you’re concerned that having hidden something for so long, you don’t know who he is, or maybe you’re worried that if he’s been able to hide this from you, what else could he be hiding?
It’s very easy to get carried away with these thoughts and let your imagination run wild with possibilities – but the only thing that will do is make things worse. The first thing you should do is stop and take a breath. More than likely, things aren’t as bad as you might think!
Almost certainly not. The majority of crossdressers are straight . Crossdressing has no correlation with sexuality. It could be conceivable that he’s bisexual or bi-curious, but don’t forget that he married you for a reason.
This varies a lot. There are some people who do it for sexual gratification – maybe it’s just something he gets off on, and that’s the end of it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You might be ok with that, or you might not – but remember, it probably doesn’t affect how he feels about you!
For other people, dressing up can be just a way of expressing some feminine aspect of their personality. Think of it as the male equivalent of being a tomboy.
And then for others, they may internally feel like they should have been born with a female body.
Possibly. This you can only find out by talking to each other. It’s certainly true that some people go from being a crossdresser to realising and accepting that they are transgender, but this is not a universal path. Just because you have discovered that your husband likes to wear women’s clothes does not mean he’s suddenly going to transition. Asking about the reasons as to why he does it will give you a much clearer idea.
[bctt tweet=”If your husband is a crossdresser, this is who they are, and who they have always been.” url=”https://www.myweekendshoes.com/2015/08/help-my-husband-is-a-crossdresser/”]
It’s worth bearing in mind that if your husband is a crossdresser, this is who they are, and who they have always been. Your husband has not changed – only your opinion of him might have altered given this new information. You might feel as though you’ve been tricked into marrying someone without knowing everything about them, and I can’t even imagine what that must feel like, which is why I always encourage people to try to accept this part of their lives, and to share it with their partners.
The reason he didn’t tell you is probably because he’s felt ashamed about it his whole life. For so many of us, we’re told that being men in our society means only doing manly things and conforming to the standard idea of what it means to be a man – certainly not acting in any way deemed feminine. Girly-men have been seen as jokes or a source of amusement. Confronted with a reality which would mock and ridicule you for being open about it, many men will hide or totally bury this part of them, causing depression and self-loathing.
This is hard to say without asking him. It’s possible that maybe he wants to just do it indoors, or possibly go out while dressed. Some people are perfectly happy keeping it at home, and others feel like they need to be themselves not hidden away in a room somewhere.
The best thing you can do is talk about it. Whether that’s with each-other, or with the help of a couples’ therapist, or a gender therapist if need be. If your husband doesn’t know that you’ve found out his secret, finding a way to sit him down and approach it gently would be advisable.
To those of you who are into it, or don’t mind it – that’s awesome! For him, it’ll be great to have someone to talk to about it and share all sorts of things with, and for you, you might find that you suddenly have a lot more common interests!
To those of you who find it disgusting – you may have a harder road ahead of you. It’s completely understandable if you feel this way, since this is not something you signed up for. But bear in mind that part of the reason why he’s been hiding it for so long is because he loves you, and doesn’t want to lose you, fearing how you might react.
I will say this over and over again: This is not something we chose. If I could’ve just turned it off years and years ago, I would have, because due to the way society views people like us, it’s been a difficult journey full of shame and guilt. But having a partner who loves us and accepts us as we are… that can make your marriage even stronger.
If you still have any questions, please feel free to email me at liz@myweekendshoes.com and I will be more than happy to reply to you privately and anonymously, without judgement.
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These are some good questions actually and i’v been thinking about this alot. Luckily i’m not married(muhaha) also I’m not currently in a relationship at the moment but if I did find someone I think now instead of waiting until a few months or even a year down the line when we’re pretty much a Item I think now I would tell her very early on about my ways. Some woman think they get deceived or that you hid this big lie when you tell them and I think thats partly true. I don’t think its fair on your partner to do it in secret either if they don’t know about it. If they don’t like it but still wanted me then so be it. The last thing I would want to do was to shove it in peoples faces if they don’t like it. Just as long as they know I do my things and why I do them.
yeah I totally agree :) the earlier you can tell someone, the earlier you can be open about it, the better!
I told my wife years ago, before we married( 27 years this September ) and she was fine about me doing it, in private , at home, as long as she didn’t see it. This progressed by mutual consent to doing , at home when she was in with her prior consent. No wig, no make up , no boobs, just clothes. Eventually after about 15 years of this , I got the courage to go to a dressing service, and for the first time experienced the full works, and saw the woman within, and I knew I could not suppress her any longer. I told my wife, she listened and agreed to let me go and buy wigs and make up, and even go out with a TG friend I had made online, as long as she does not see Amanda, she knows I go out, she buys me clothes, she talks about it, and is happy I am happy, as long as she never meets Amanda.
Different couples will absolutely have different rhythms and feelings about crossdressing – I’m glad you found one that works for you :)
Thanks for this, it helps a lot, I am considering coming out to my girlfriend but I don’t know how she’ll react
Thank you for reading it! I hope coming out to your girlfriend goes well! I don’t think I could ever write a blog post on how to do it, because, honestly, I have no idea :/ You know her best – you’ll find the right words to say :)
There is nothing wrong with been a crossdresser, some wifes even like there husbands in a dress, and even go out with them dressd with makeup on, live and let live if you are happy thats all that counts.
Hi my name is Karen
Ive been a married crossdresser for along time
I fell my best when I’m totally dressed as Karen
And very happy as a woman
Wife is ok with it I like her to except it more so.we can
Go.out together dressed
Thank you for writing this article. It helped my girlfriend to understand and cope. I would like to see a new more in depth article though with deeper details and why my girlfriend does not have to worry about me being gay.
is there a link and if so i would like to join
There isn’t really a way to join – but if you like me on facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/MyWeekendShoes ) you’ll be able to keep up with any posts I make! :)
You did a fab job with this piece, Liz. Bravo!
I’m one of the lucky ones. My marriage is stronger than ever. But as you mentioned, it’s certainly not for everyone.
Thank you very much for sharing this :) And hello from /r/CrossDressing.
For me, my tagline on Reddit says it all: “Cis-male, CD for fun and comfort”.
I’ve always thought women get so many cute and awesome-looking clothes to wear and
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