My Girlfriend Is An Escort

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My Girlfriend Is An Escort
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My (37M) girlfriend (36F) and I have been dating for seven months.
Early on in our relationship, she confessed to sleeping with a married guy once before we met. It always bothered me and I always thought it was weird and suspected that there was more to the story. Since it clearly bugged me, she recently confessed that it was with someone that she had met on an escorting site.
I was appalled and hurt and confused, but she reassured me that she was on that site for several months but that she had only ever had sex with this one man from there, and she didn't even accept his money because she decided she wasn't going to do it again. She said it made her feel kind of shitty and kind of cheap and that she never wanted to do anything like that again. I did find evidence though that she was selling webcam shows to men from that site and also selling pics of herself to at least one guy. I know she loves taking sexy nudes and videos of herself masterbating.
She insists that she never sold any videos to anyone even though I know she has dozens or more videos of herself masterbating and squirting, which she spends a lot of time on in terms of taking nice videos and dressing up and making them good.
She also insists that she isn't talking to anyone else anymore and that that she only wants to be with me. She has shared all or most of her videos and pics with me and they are actually so incredible as she is an amazingly sexy woman.
I have to admit that I love this woman and we have such an amazing time together. I am a sex positive person and I don't care that she has a past but it does bother me that she was on that site for so long and so willing to show anybody who could pay what she has to offer. It kind of cheapens what we have together in the sense that apparently she can be turned on by anyone.
I also worry long term about whether or not I can trust her. Is she keeping anything else from me? She would not have told me about selling her pics and videos if I had not found out on my own. Does she have any other online sugar daddies I don't know about? I am struggling to make sense of my feelings and I don't know if I can trust her, although I want to. She's lied to me before, although it's clear that she wanted to tell me the truth since she did confess to what happened eventually. This is a sign to me that she does actually love me and wants me to know the truth.
I do know that there is so much more to the story and that she likely will never go into those details and to be honest I don't really want to know.
I don't really know what to do. I think I will choose to believe in her but I still feel uneasy. I have a lot of anxiety and the intrusive thoughts about this are a lot to deal with and tend to interfere with my ability to just enjoy her. Any input is appreciated.
TL;DR My girlfriend dabbled in online and in person sex work. She confessed to me about her past but I don't believe she's telling me the whole story. I feel gross about it but also love her and I want to believe she's telling the truth about it being in her past.
I think she's hiding details because she thinks I will judge her or leave if I know too much. But she also cares about being truthful and she wants me to trust her.
You're letting societal guilt bend you out of shape.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to date a former sex-worker. That doesn't mean that you're condemning her or discriminating against her. That doesn't make you a horrible person. No one can tell you what you should or shouldn't find attractive.
You don't want to get sexual with someone who was sexually intimate with many other people for money.
According to her it wasn't many people. Although I suspect she may be lying about that part.
I suspect she's been doing this online for many years and she's likely telling the truth about it only being with the one guy in person.
Dude....duuude. You do not deserve this girlfriend.
EDIT: it’s obvious why she wouldn’t want to tell you because you’re obviously uncomfortable with her past/ current sex life. I think y’all should have a frank discussion about sex and you’d need to create a good atmosphere to do that, where she doesn’t feel judged. I would challenge you to investigate how sex positive you really are, because sounds like not so much. If you truly believe that the fact that she’s like a total sex goddess who other people find arousing is cheapening you should do her the service of dumping her, because that’s pretty messed up.
She's blatantly lying to his face. She doesn't deserve him. It's also fine to have personal standards as everyone has different tastes.
Maybe she doesn’t deserve him ? You don’t know who deserves who.
Trust me when I say that I am enjoying every minute. But I hesitate to get serious with her when I have so many trust issues.
I'm willing to admit that the problem lies with me. Probably because of her initial lies and denials but I recognize that once she believed that she could trust me she opened up.
I love her. But I wouldn't want to date her if she was ok with talking to other people and maybe this is where my trust issues will ultimately doom this particular relationship.
I agree and this is my best option. Now learning to let go is the hard part.
She’s probably addicted to the fast easy money and it has nothing to do with her emotions. When money comes easy like that it’s hard to walk away.
Yes we'll that's what she said. She did it because it was easy. I believe she doesn't want to be absex worker and that it's in the past. Although I could see her selling pics and videos. I worry she's still doing it.
of course your uncomfortable about her past but it’s just the past. it would be a problem if it was still happening. your feelings are valid but remember that there is nothing you can do to change what has already happened. all you can do is accept her for who she is
I want to accept her but worry she will just keep lying.
Regardless of other factors (although I personally believe you should leave her since she's established she will lie to you for her gain), if you choose to stick to the relationship, you will have to live out with the fallout of her online pornographic presence for the rest of your life.
Maybe there is no fallout since she only showed her pics to a small number of people. Or maybe there will be huge fallout if she lied about that and it turns out many people have them.

My Girlfriend is an Escort/Prostitute/Hooker/whatever. AMAA
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I actually met her as a client, but not her client.
Its actually a polyamourous three way, but I am much more regular with # 2 than # 1.
I met #1 at a "meet and greet" for escorts and their clients. We shared some geeky interests, which was attractive to me. I emailed her a few days later. We exchanged a few flirtacious emails.
I have access to an exclusive club, and I mentioned this to her, I offered to take her there. I made it clear that I wouldn't pay her for the time we spent out in the club, only for the sex afterwards. So, from the beginning the arrangement was a little different than the traditional hooker/john relationship. She was utterly charming, and I was bewitched. We went back to my place and had wall-shaking sex.
I saw her two times after that. This time it was a more conventional escort experience. She showed up, we chatted, and we had sex. I paid her for a half hour and she stayed for an hour and a half. This isn't unheard of...if you're pleasant company, they will sometimes stay and socialize over and above the time you've paid for. It was obvious, though, that we had a real rapport, and I was thinking about asking her out. She seemed to really like me, and it didn't seem to be an act. She also gave me a special rate.
The fourth time I had booked a session the day before my birthday. She called to cancel, since she wasn't feeling well. But she had baked me cupcakes for my birthday, and she wanted me to pick them up. (A whore that bakes cupcakes! How awesome is that???) She had talked a lot about her friend, #2 and I asked if I could meet her.
I came by, and they answered the door in grubbies, obviously not dressed for work. #1 gave me the box of cupcakes, and asked me, "Did you want to just pick these up and go, or did you want to come in and watch tv?" I did want to hang out and talk with these lovely ladies, but I didn't want to intrude, and the tone of her voice was a little ambiguous. So I sort of hemmed and hawwed, and she said, "You can come it and watch one episode."
So I came in and we lay on #2's bed. We talked for a while, and the wine got passed around, the tv never got turned on. I made a few good points in conversation and #1 said, "I told you he was awesome."
"Yeah...I was afraid this was going to be some kind of grabby/freebee kind of thing," said #2, "but you're really cool."
The conversation went on for a few hours (the TV never actually got turned on). At some point, #1 said, "I've got to go soon, but does anyone feel like getting something to eat?"
"I've got filet mignon in my fridge." I said. Apparently the allure of a good steak is compelling, and they started to get ready to leave. I heard some furtive whispering between them. I wasn’t expecting anything, but I begain to suspect that there was exitement ahead of me. We got back to my place, and I started working on the steaks while #1 made mashed potatoes. We continued drinking, and there was a bit of grab-ass between me and #1. She started getting naked. She ordered #2 to take her shirt off. #2 was a little reluctant. “I want to EAT!” she said. But eventually the shirt came off. Holy Jesus. I am now officially in Penthouse-Forum-Land, I thought. 1 ordered the skirt off, and #2 refused, so #1 went over and pulled it down...there was much giggling. Only now did I dare reach out and begin kissing #2, pressing her against the fridge. She was now wearing jsut a g-string. #1 finished the potatoes while #2 and I made out on the couch.
Eventually somehow we got food on the table, and we ate in a state of half-dressedness. I ate light...very light. We then came to the bed room, and the g-string finally came off. #2 started sucking my dick, while I kissed #1 and played with her huge soft breasts. We went at it for 2 ½ hours. I had popped a viagra, and I’m glad to say that I performed like a porn star.
I wasn't really sure if I was supposed to pay. I knew for sure that I couldn't afford what this was worth. So I waited for them to broach the issue and they never did.
I booked with #1 sometime later. She made it clear that she expected to be paid (although giving me a lower rate.) Shortly before I was due to pick her up she called and told me that #1 wanted to come along, and wouldn't charge me. But she wanted a review that didn't tell that she had given me a freebee and she also wanted steak.
My band was playing some weeks later, and they came out to see me #2 was hitting on some guy and told me she was going home with him. I was visibly jealous, and she told me to come to her place the next day and she'd give me a freebee.
I did, and we hung out for most of the day. She was going to a nightclub that night, and invited me to come along. I crashed at her house that night. We spent the next day together. I consider that our first date. We started hanging out as a threesome, but gradually I was seeing more of #2. I'm sleeping at her house most nights now.
Is she your girlfriend or do you like give her money?
No, I don't give her money. We're dating.
How long have you two been together?
It'll be a year in October. It presents some challenges, but really it doesn't mess with my head. I'm not jealous of the Johns at all. I have gotten jealous when she sluts it up at nightclubs, though. I do have some real concerns about introducing her to my mother, though.
I'll be checking back in here evey fifteen minutes.
Does it make you jealous at all that she is paid for sex with other men? What if she had sex with another man without recieving payment? Would that be considered cheating?
I really feel that pa-for-play isn't real sex, and there is no reason to be jealous. I've actually hung out in the other room while she's fucking clients. To be perfectly honest, it kind of turns me on.
The one thing I insist on is that she bathes after a client. That's caused some minor friction, she doesn't really like to and is sometimes too tired.
If she was with a guy without payment? Yeah, that would make me jealous.
I was her friend's client. I never actually paid her for sex, but we met in the context of prostitution. I was sessioning with her friend, and I met her, and she agreed to come along for free. (I gave a much more detailed version of the story in another answer.)
This is very unusual. She's never dated a client, and its weird to her that I know what she does. (Although I think its a load off of her mind.)
does she work in pairs with other escorts or is she freelance?
She has a friend that she does doubles with, who I am also sleeping with, but who is not my girlfriend.
What is her nearest celeb lookalike?

I just found out that my gf is an escort. Should I tell her ...

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I just found out that my gf is an escort.
Should I tell her I know or just break up with her?
We've been in a ldr for 8 months.
I think you should ask her to be honest with you, the thing is, can you trust the source of your information? These things can be very complicated, I do hope if it's your girlfriend and you love her, you can be honest with her and she can be honest with you...
If you just break it off cold turkey without giving her the chance to explain, you might have her in your head for a long time.
The source is very reliable and she used to do it before but had stopped right before I met her. And we both love each other but lately she has been having serious money problems. I told her I would help her out and she agreed and now I found out that she is in an escort ad available next week. It just hurts that she would go do that when I told her that I would help her out. I'm thinking maybe she doesn't love me anymore and would rather get back into that. I'm really confused as to what to do.
If you are absolutely sure that your source is reliable then you will have to let her go, because the trust factor is going to be an issue.
Since an ad is out, you can say to her that you have heard from reliable source that she is doing the escort business, let her know that you understand that she has money issues and is trying to be independent, but you cannot handle the fact that she did something like this behind your back and there is a trust issue.
This is going to be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but you have to do it or your life is going to be miserable and you in future would feel insecure with her.
Be strong, think of your future, you heart is breaking I know, but at least you will feel a peace come over you when you do things according to your principles, honesty to yourself, and your truth. Love will find you I am sure.
you are absolutely right even if I tell her I know about it and she doesn't do it I'll always have it in the back of my mind that she might do it again and I would never feel comfortable about our relationship. Thanks
Classic jerry springer show case. 😉
I found out that my girlfriend has been an escort. She dosent know that I know. I have always told her that I love her and support her. I have left it for her to tell me. She is struggling with 2 young children to become independent. She is trying to get into a stable normal life. I have helped her get her drivers license and a car. Next week I am going to help her get her smartserve certificate. I have done a lot of things for her and she dosent like me to help too much. I have accepted the way things are. Other than the, we have a very good relationship. If you love her you have to accept it for now.
discuss it with her...give her the chance to explain
My girlfriend was an escort, I found out after I quit my job, moved to another city, and moved in with her. Despite her lying about it we stayed together, and she continued to escort.
Seriously how are you feeling about that, are you able to trust her despite the lying and do you think you can build a healthy relationship with someone who starts out with lying about what they do in making a living?
What if you already know..and she made up story's saying she was elsewhere
Makes no difference, there is no way you can build on a foundation of lies.
I've been with my girl for 7 years now she's a pro stitute and does everyday I wouldn't rather have it any other way.
You are certainly a special man but just for me, do you ever feel insecure with that, chemistry is very alive when we interact with persons in an intimate way?
She may not be looking but you never know, your thoughts?

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