My German Teacher Says I Ve

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What did you think you were doing when you brought me in front of the whole class and asked me what was more important between looks and character? Because I thought you were trying to see if I could articulate two sentences in a row, and the answer to that being No came in very handy to you later on. It so appears, as I spent the better half of this monologue tripping on Romanian and English, as you knew I would, that your purpose was, instead, to amuse yourself with high school wars, which you tried and failed to start by asking me to name the shallower students in our class.
When I stuck to my resting bitch face and waltzed around this Fuck You for a minute, you decided to get more specific by asking about different students, one by one. And what do you know, your list was all girls. Because we don't live in a world where they are literally raised to be as nurturing and patient and non-judgemental as possible, towards men especially. When I refused to answer, you decided to force my hand by making the assumption, out loud, that my reluctance to comply was a hidden yes I didn't want getting out into the world and bothering anyone.
I said it once, I'll say it again: "I don't want to answer" doesn't mean "yes", doesn't mean "no", doesn't mean "Keep poking me with a short stick". It means I don't fucking want to give this level of stupidity the time of day.
And now, to elaborate on the claim that my language barrier was an advantage that I absolutely refuse to believe you didn't know you had. I had counter-arguments enough to drown you under, from the way patriarchy works immediately invalidating my definition of shallow in front of you anyway, to, as mentioned, the fact that your list was absurdly lacking in male "contestants". Or maybe you wanted to hear a little about it is not your fucking business whatsoever to make assumptions, or force anyone to, about who's less profound that who, in a classroom full of students that you never really gave the time of day to and don't care about.
But you knew I both lacked the words in German (or was too afraid of sounding dumb to try and put them together) and would feel like an impostor for attempting to use any other language, even with your mocking permission. And thus, no truth bricks were thrown in your face today.
And more importantly, why do men like you keep being thrown my way? Do I have to pull a History Teacher on you as well? I'm growing tired of this.
I've spent so much of my life in a constant existential crisis it would feel weird not to have one anymore
I've spent so much of my life in a constant existential crisis it would feel weird not to have one anymore

I have a confession to make: my first German teacher was so bad, I blocked him from my memory.

For years now I've been working on this website, cultivating each page and making everything as genuine and transparent as possible. And then it hit me: I have indeed had another German teacher (a professor, actually), from whom I learned exactly 3 words of German in 2 semesters at college:
So it's no wonder I'd blocked it all out. It was just that bad.
I wanted to demonstrate to you, dear reader, what fantastic skills I learned from my teachers, from the teacher at Eloquia and at the Goethe-Institut, and how those skills carried me for years after! Each lesson was beneficial, the learning and memorizational techniques demanding and helpful, helping me store everything in my long-term memory as soon as possible. These teachers were absolute pros!

This particular professor was the exact opposite.
Herr S. was in his 50s when I joined his class. People said he wasn't an awesome teacher, but that you did learn in his class. I hadn't had a foreign language class for a couple of years and since I'd made some German friends, I was really interested in learning German. The possibilities of European travel and bilingualism began to blossom in my mind and I was thrilled.
Herr S. spoke 9 languages, including Russian, Danish, German, English, Spanish, Kaqchikel, and others. Impressive!

Herr S. was writing his own textbook. That's a big deal, right?
Herr S. had an unbridled enthusiasm for language and for grammar and regularly demonstrated to us, we without any prior knowledge of German, how the subject OR the object of German could come before the verb. Wasn't that fascinating?!
No, actually, it was horribly confusing.
Instead of starting us out with beginning words and sentences like
"Guten Tag. Ich heiße Warner, Nicole Warner. Und wie heißen Sie?"
we started with an elementary German reader. Entire sentences, groupings of vocabulary too numerous to memorize in a week, short stories far beyond our beginning capacities.
Herr S. was also einfach abgelenkt--easily distracted. One particular classmate regularly distracted Herr S. by making him translate sentences that were completely unrelated to the material at hand. He wasted hours and hours of class time and Herr S. always said, "Oh, but this is fascinating! Look at how you can do this in German!" and he would continue writing on the whiteboard in his illegible handwriting, oblivious to the fact that we were frustrated, confused, and angry. Our protests went unheard.

We never had a textbook that entire year, Herr S. charged us a copying fee and gave us copies of his book as he completed the chapters and the exercises. Except it wasn't a German learning textbook, it was a German grammar practice book disguised as a textbook. And we never truly learned Akkusativ. Von Dativ und Genitiv ganz zu schweigen!

The sad truth was, Herr S. was so good at German (and all the other 8 languages he spoke) that he had forgotten what it was like to be a beginner. Herr S. was either so good at languages that he never recognized he hadn't always known everything about them or he had forgotten the process of language learning. His false assumption was that we were just like him--a wiz at languages--and we would just "get it."
He'd forgotten what it was like to acquire language piece by piece, word by word, one verb conjugation at a time.
...that it's right and good to start at the beginning.
Everybody starts somewhere! Nobody starts out perfect at German, not even German kids! Remember to give yourself time to learn, to discover new things, and to explore what your personal learning process is.
So whether you are learning German or teaching it, simply enjoy German movies & books or spend months traveling in German speaking countries every year, enjoy the process of learning something new.
After that long, long year of not learning German, I ended up throwing all of those hundreds of pages of copies in the recycling. I hadn't learned anything, didn't understand the book, and decided I was done with German.
Obviously that didn't last. Und das ist gut so.

It is sad that some teachers expect you to climb Mount Everest.
The teacher has to meet the student where he/she is not where the teacher is academically speaking.
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My German Teacher Says I Ve