My First Time With A Vibrator
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My First Time With A Vibrator
Tags:
vibrators
, sex
, first vibrator
, sexuality
, adolescence
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“Do you want me to buy you a vibrator?” Mom asks, holding up the Good Vibrations catalogue. The year is 1999. I am twelve. I know what a vibrator is from watching Slums of Beverly Hills —my favorite scene involves Marisa Tomei and Natasha Lyonne tossing the buzzing sex toy back and forth while gyrating to Parliament’s Give Up the Funk . “Sure!” I exclaim. We sit at the kitchen table and peruse the catalogue together, pens ready to mark which toys look most promising. Mom suggests one that’s thick and short, clear and curved and designed to “stimulate the G-spot.” I don’t know what the G-spot is nor how this device is meant to stimulate it, but Mom thinks it’s a solid, simple choice for my first vibrator, and she knows more about this stuff than I do. I’m not sure why Mom thinks I need a vibrator at age twelve, but I don’t question it. At the time, I don’t appreciate the progressiveness of the fact that she is buying her pre-teen daughter a sex toy. I take for granted how she is making my first lesson about sex about my own pleasure, prioritizing my needs over anyone else’s. I also don’t understand how the act of buying her young daughter a vibrator is intrinsically linked to my mother’s feminism. Feminism isn’t really on my radar.
As a teenager, the concept of feminism begins to embarrass me. It’s the early aughts, and "the F word" isn’t trending yet. To be called a feminist is tantamount to being called a bitch—roughly translated, it means you are an ugly female without a sense of humor, who hates men. Although my mother clearly identifies as a feminist, and though she definitely has a sense of humor and loves my dad, something intense and angry happens to her face whenever she speaks of feminist things. I decide this is uncool, and not something I want to emulate. Whenever some mean kid insultingly calls me a feminist, I feel my face flush as if I’ve been caught wetting the bed (something else I did for years beyond what was socially acceptable). Looking back, it seems I knew all along I really was a feminist, and hid behind this “cool girl” identity for fear of being found out. It wasn’t until post-college, when feminism started coming back into the public conversation, that I could finally embrace the angry feminist I’d always been in my heart. My mother’s daughter. Middle school graduation with Mom Two years before Mom buys me a vibrator, I’m ten and on vacation with my parents in Hawaii, staying at this amazing hotel with a bar in the swimming pool. One hot and beautiful day, I’m hanging out on the edge of the pool, getting ready to order my third Shirley Temple with extra cherries, unintentionally positioned with a jet shooting between my legs, when I’m suddenly overcome with the most incredible sensation my body has ever known. I have no idea what this means, but I can’t wait to tell Mom all about it. I scramble out of the pool. “Mom! I just found the most amazing thing!” She smiles knowingly. “The jets?” “Yes! How did you--?” “I know.” She looks nonplussed. I want to shout, why didn’t anyone tell me?! How have I lived my entire life up to this point completely ignorant of the magic of swimming pool jets? It’s not until years later that I realize this is probably not the kind of thing most girls would immediately run to tell their mothers. But this was, and always has been, our relationship. I tell her everything and she, in turn, tells me everything.
Enjoying the jets Mom tells me about when she recklessly slutted around New York City in the '70s, before AIDS came along and scared the crap out of everyone. She tells me how one Valentine’s Day, she shaved her pubic hair into a heart shape and bleached one half platinum and dyed the other half black, a gift for her current boyfriend. She tells me about the time she met a strange man in a bar and went back to his apartment where they played chess and then he told her to take off all her clothes and tried to rape her, so she ran outside stark naked to get the police. At age six, when I ask what this rounded piece of flesh-colored latex is doing on the edge of the bathtub, Mom tells me it’s her diaphragm and it’s to keep her from getting pregnant when she and Dad have sex. As a teenager, I ask Mom why a man would go down on a woman. Her face lights up as though she’s about to impart some deep feminine wisdom. “Because women are delicious,” she says plainly. I don’t realize how, by openly acknowledging her own sexuality, Mom is implicitly teaching me another lesson, this time about shamelessness. Never once do I hear the words, “That’s not appropriate to talk about.” My childhood curiosity is encouraged. Nothing is off limits. When my vibrator arrives in the mail, I just stare at it. It’s short and fat and I’m thinking, there’s no way that thing is fitting inside my twelve-year-old vagina . I haven’t even successfully put in a tampon at this point. The day it arrives, I can’t wait to get to school. At recess, I sit on the bleachers with a bunch of my peers and hold forth about my new sex toy. In a more conservative setting, I may have been teased, even shamed; in this hippie NorCal beach town, the kids are jealous and awe-struck and I can feel them looking at me with a newfound sense of admiration.
That night, I lie down and stare up at the No Doubt poster hanging over my twin bed. I move the vibrating head down towards my general area, not really aiming. Who even knows where anything is at this point? I don’t try to put it actually inside my vagina—the thing is literally huge—I just sort of hold it between my legs. It doesn’t blow my mind, but it’s pretty good. Maybe not the fireworks display I was expecting, but it feels reminiscent of the swimming pool jets. I mean, the jets gave me my first moment of clitoral awareness, so naturally made quite an impression. I can’t actually make myself come with my vibrator, but it’s not for want of trying. In a time before infinitely available Internet porn, finding sexy stuff to masturbate to is a more creative endeavor. My porn is: the scene in Boogie Nights when they’re shooting a sex scene and Julianne Moore tells Mark Wahlberg, “Come inside me, I’m fixed”; the scene in Fear when Wahlberg fingers Reese Witherspoon on the rollercoaster with Wild Horses playing in the background; the scene in Cruel Intentions when Sarah Michelle Gellar sits on Ryan Phillippe’s lap and gives him a hand job. Then there’s the weirder stuff: the scene in John Waters’ Pink Flamingos when Divine, the 300 pound drag queen, blows her son while they’re burgling a house; the scene in John Waters’ Female Trouble when Divine is raped by a trucker on a bare mattress on the side of the road.
These scenes I keep cued up on VHS tapes that I record at my grandparents’ house when I visit them in New Jersey for three months every summer. I load up the tapes with as much erotica as possible, my jerk-off material for the remaining nine months of the year—my parents don’t have cable television. These particular scenes are well worn. I furiously rewind them over and over again as I lie on my twin bed with the vibrating head balanced against my crotch. I don’t realize at the time that Mom buying me a vibrator will become a foundational story of my childhood, something I tell people when I really want them to understand who I am. Perhaps it’s because I was encouraged to overshare as a child, but I’m proud of the fact that Mom bought me a vibrator when I was twelve. Especially now that I’m out of the hippie liberal bubble of the town where I grew up, I see that the way my mother raised me was in powerful denial of the sex-negative, Puritan-founded culture we still live in.
Angry feminist/My mother's daughter I had that vibrator for twelve years. It finally died in 2011—by that time, the clear plastic was discolored and the technology seriously outdated. My boyfriend bought me a pearl rabbit, by all accounts a far superior piece of equipment. But I do have fond memories of my first vibrator, because it was old school and Mom picked it out for me, and it taught me at a very young age to have no shame about my sexuality; that it’s normal to be horny as fuck when you’re twelve. Published June 2, 2016
Ava Bogle is a feminist sex blogger at Diary of a Slutty Feminist . Follow her on Twitter @slutty_feminist .
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by
master
on
December 28, 2014
Age when it happend: 14 Where it happened: my bed Langauge: English Sex: Female Rating: 7
Category: Straight
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0 - very bad experience
10 - very great experience
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Copyright 2019. My First Time. Site by Paradigmnext
Okay, here is how it goes. I was all alone on a Friday night. My boyfriend had just phoned to tell me that since I wasn’t going to give it up to him, he’s not bothering with the relationship anymore. I felt really bad. Just last week we were making out and one thing led to another and I was in my bra and panties, and he was naked, but I wouldn’t let us have anything sexual between us. He even offered to give me oral, but I wanted to wait awhile for sex. So, there I was, flipping the channels when I came across a very provocative commercial on vibrators. I have masturbated before, but this vibrator looked really tempting. I called up my friend Jane and the next day, we went out to buy me a vibrator. I found a hard erect penis shaped one that was about 8 inches long. Damn. I sat there, reading the instructions. Looked easy enough, so I began masturbating. Then I tuned on the vibrator. I started moving my hips in a rythmic motion, and I put the vibrator on my clit. MMMM, that felt good I decided as I was getting horny. I usually visualize like a chart of how my orgasms are going. I mean, I visualize it going up and up. Like when I am getting the feeling, that would be a three, when I explode into orgasm, that would be a 10, and so on. Well, I was slowly going from a 1, to a 2, to a 3…. I wondered what a cock would feel like. Would it hurt? So I was up to a five right now. I was getting hot by now. MMMMmmm, oh this feels goooood, I thought to myself. So I was up to a seven and I started moving my legs around and thrusting my hips up. Oh god, I wsa up to a nine! I started moaning really loudly. OOooooooh. As soon as I got to a 10, I shoved the vibrator up my cunt and then I began screaming because I has just popped my own cherry with a vibrator. I laid in bed for a minute, stiff from the pain. Oh god, it hurt, but it was over. I popped my cherry. Now when I have sex, it won’t hurt as much, I decided. I stood up, and looked at the bed. OH MY GOD, there was BLOOD on my bedsheets! I hurried up and ripped them off and put them in the washer, and then I called my boyfriend, well, my ex-boyfriend. I told him that I loved him and that I was now willing to have sex with him. So he came right over and I led him into my bedroom. John told me how beautiful I was and that he knew I’d come around. I said, well, you can CUM around and in me. We began kissing then. Slowly, then faster and then I ripped off my shirt and he ripped off his. He put my hand down his pants and I jacked him off for about 10 minutes, and then he jerked his pants off and I saw the big bulge in his boxers. Then he unzipped, and unbuttoned my jeans and took them off, and lingered around my crotch. He took my panties off with his teeth, and then he came back up to my vagina and started licking it on the outside at first, but then his tongue went into the inside and he began moving my clit around with his warm, moist tongue. I started moaning. Then after he was done, he stood up, and I dropped to my knees and took his boxers off with my teeth and then began nursing his 9 inch (or so) erect cock. He was REALLY moaning by then. Finally, he picked me up and put me on the couch in my room where he took off my bra and laid me down. He thrust his immense penis into my newly de-virginized cunt and then he began pumping. OH GOD, I was screaming. He stopped and asked me if he should keep going and I told him yes, so he pumped harder and harder until I screamed and shook the windowpanes. I laid there for a minute or two, then he fucked me some more. This happened three more times, until I told him that my mom would be home in an hour. That was really the first time i had ever been fucked, but I lost my virginity to a vibrator.
by
master
on
December 28, 2013
Age when it happend: 16 Where it happened: Bed Langauge: Eng. Sex: Female Rating: 10
Category: Straight
Processing your request, Please wait....
0 - very bad experience
10 - very great experience
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Copyright 2019. My First Time. Site by Paradigmnext
I was a virgin but not a pure one still at 16. My brother had girlfriends and had sex many times. I would masterbate with my breifs on using four fingers in a circle and that’s all. My brother would watch me as only a blanket separated our sleeping areas. We lived in a three room log cabin. One day he had a look and started chasing me. I ran but he carried me to my bed. I took this from my girlfriends mothers drawer. I have to use it on you and give it back before she comes home. It was a blue silicon vibrator. Fuck no I said . He held me down lifted my dress and put it on my clit. My briefs were on and WOW. Like it don’t you he said. I need to put it in you . Fuck no I repeated as he was Vibing me on full blast. He was drunk as a skunk and smelled . He was younger than me and smaller but he was strong and tore my briefs off. He put that big blue vibrating rotating right on my bare pussy lips . Shit I yelled. Shit shit. It felt so good but I didn’t want to admit it. With my knees tight he was still getting it dangerously close. He was having so much fun at my expense. I was more mad at the moment and how he was drunk and treating me. Come on its about time to loose your virginity. I slapped him with all my might and he stopped. I never hit him before and I know it hurt bad. I’m sorry I said and hugged him as he held his face. I’m sorry here , I took off my top and bra , you can feel me up. He did and it made him cheer up. I took the vibrator and looked it over . I washed it in warm water and learned how to adjust the rotation and dual vibrators. It was big but very soft silicon rubber. I used it on my girlfriend because I ran out of rubbers. It’s bigger than me and this thing out here vibrates your clit while the other part twirls inside. I guess all this goes in , that’s alot I told my brother. Naw it ain’t he said . I seen big ones at the stores . If you squeeze it here look it gets fatter and fatter with every squeeze. Shit its long and fat now . He pushed the release button and it hissed and shrank. I took it away from him wet it under the faucet and turned it on low and put it between my legs. Come on he said put it in , you can take it. No take it back I’m scared. Scared a what . It is gonna hurt . If it hurt women wouldn’t buy it. He gave it back and stood at the edge of my bed. I kind a put the end in and turned it on medium. It was good enough and I was turned on . Heck sis I know your a virgin but are you still sealed up? Put it in it feels great. I pushed it here and there and he made me nervous looking at me pleasure my self. If I wasn’t your brother I’d fuck you right now . So I pushed a bit and it was uncomfortable. He pulled the door shut as he walked out and I pleasured my self in to a few nice orgasms. I fingered my self for the first time and forced a finger in side . It hurt and I decided it felt good in there . I attempted the big toy but the pain stopped me so I went down to get my brother and came back to the bed room. He fingered me and said after looking it shouldn’t be to hard. It was different with him at the controls. He pushed it in and I let out a muffled yell in the pillow. He rotated it and it felt like I was ripped in half. He pulled it out and held me as I had a good cry. He started it up and I parted my legs and the big soft toy was pushed in and out and then the rotator was turned on. I was having sex I said to my self. Then the clit rabbit was turned on and I had pulses throught my body. My brother had every part of my inside reached and I climaxed many times like never before. I was on my back and kept rolling to my front as he pushed it in and out. He had every setting it had and I was screaming twice saying don’t stop. He pumped it bigger and about the last pump the fun was gone and the toy was tight in me. I was frozen and said release and he fumbled as the tears filled my eyes. It hissed and he pulled it out and fingered me with two then three fingers easily. How does that feel he said with three fingers curling on my G spot. Nice I said . I flopped back and rested all sweaty from the ordeal. My brother tenderly fingered me and I was about asleep then he placed the vibrator end in me and kissed me on the lips. I opened my eyes and it was his cock in me and he lay flat on me announcing this is the end of your virginity for sure. Don’t make me pregnant I asked. We kissed and he fucked me a while and he went and puked in the toilet . He passed out and I carried him to his bed. He hated him self in the morning and I kept his girlfriends moms vibrator. I’m patty and that’s my first time.
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