My Daughter Hard Nipples Bikini

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One of my goals as a mother has been to teach my children to be comfortable with their bodies. It was easy when they were little. They saw no need to lock bathroom doors or hide while they were changing. Clothes were nothing more than an obstacle to their play that they would seize any opportunity to slip out of. And I let them.
Whether we were in the house, in the backyard, or even the park, my kids were the ones running about with no shoes, no shirts, and no sermons (from me). My approval didn’t stop other parents from shaking their heads or clucking their tongues, but their contempt was not noticed by my children or internalized by me. As long as my kids were within my eyesight and were wearing some sort of bottom covering, we were doing just fine.
Things changed as they got older. By the time my boys were 8 and 6, they were locking bathroom doors and making sure to always wear shirts, even in the backyard. And I let them. Because, although it saddened me a bit to see how quickly societal norms had squelched their free spirits, ultimately what I wanted them to learn was that they were in charge of their bodies. And if, for whatever reason, they wanted to keep them completely covered, that was their choice, too.
Then my daughter came along. Like her brothers before her, she was happiest when she was barefooted and naked-bellied. Unlike them, however, she didn’t outgrow it… at least not yet. She will be 7 next week and I still have to remind her that she NEEDS to wear a shirt for school. Her favorite thing is to roll around in the grass with nothing more than underwear—which she wears begrudgingly. She says the world feels more real when she can feel it with all of her skin and that being naked(ish) is like being a “wild, free fairy.”
And so I let her. Certainly she needs to wear clothes at school and when we’re out in the world, but at home, in our backyard, she is free to dress in a way that makes her feel comfortable.
The problem is that her comfort has been making my 10-year-old son uncomfortable. Yesterday my daughter came downstairs in her underwear and sat down to eat breakfast. My son’s eyes narrowed and his shoulders tensed up.
“Make her put clothes on, Mom. She’s too old. It’s gross! I can’t eat with her next to me like that.”
I told him that he could sit somewhere else if he wanted to and tried to change the subject to something less contentious. As my daughter and I chatted about an upcoming trip, I noticed that my son had grown quiet. His eyes glistened with the tears he was trying desperately to hold back. I came closer and put my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it away.
“She’s too old to be naked all the time. It makes me uncomfortable. Please make her get dressed.”
My daughter’s fiery temper immediately kicked in. “I can dress however I want! It’s my body!”
He was sad and she was angry and I was unsure as to how to handle the situation. I let him take his bagel into the living room while I thought it through some more.
The thing is, I want my son to feel good at home. He’s a shy, sensitive kid and he really values having a place where he can be comfortable. Part of me wanted to just insist that my daughter start wearing clothes outside of her bedroom. But then I thought about what it’s like to be a teenage girl, and a young woman… and even a middle-aged one. About how we are hit with a constant barrage of expectations and judgments about how we should look and talk and dress.
Yes, my son was uncomfortable with how his sister was dressed, and yes, his discomfort makes me sad, but he won’t be the last man to feel that way. One day, there will be an older man on a train who believes her shirt is too revealing, a boyfriend who thinks her dress is too frumpy, and a predator who finds her jeans too tempting. People will recoil from the fire in her eyes and the knots in her hair and the passion in her voice. They will move away from her loud laughter and quick tears and sporadic leaps of joy.
And that will be their choice. Just as it was my son’s choice to eat breakfast in the other room. But if I start telling my daughter now that her brother has the right to choose what clothes she wears, what will be the next right that she relinquishes to an uncomfortable male?
I had a long talk with my son after breakfast. We talked about how sometimes I let him wear shorts on days that I’m wearing a down coat because it’s his body and he experiences things differently than I do. I told him that it’s important to respect other people’s clothing choices, even if he doesn’t always understand them. I reminded him about the time he saw me being cat-called by a man using vulgar words and how badly that made me feel.
“It’s not the same, Mom. That guy liked that you were wearing a short skirt. I hate when my sister doesn’t wear enough clothes.”
He’s right. It’s not the same. And yet, on some level, it is. They’re both judgments made on a female’s choice of clothes. Once girls begin to internalize those voices, they often lose their own.
My daughter will continue to dress in her underwear for breakfast if she feels like it. And no one will say a damn thing about it. Because I won’t let them.
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By Sarah Newton For Mailonline 10:18 BST 10 May 2016 , updated 16:01 BST 10 May 2016
It was our much-anticipated yearly mother-daughter weekend away, at the London Hilton Metropole, for a Top Model catwalk event. 
We were dressed up to the nines strutting across the hotel lobby when I caught the eye of a mother and her two daughters staring at us, or more specifically staring at my eldest daughter.
She looked my daughter up and down in disgust, tutted and exclaimed to her two tweenage daughters 'If you ever go out dressed like that I will kill you!'.
Yes, the dress was low cut, but inappropriate enough to attract such malice? I don't think so.
A few other hotel guests stopped to stare but we just carried on. Because for us this is a normal occurrence.
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I'm proud to say I've brought my daughters, Bronte,19, and Freya, 15, up not to feel shame about showing their bodies off. 
I also make a point of never making negative comments about other women's bodies. Sadly I feel I may be the minority.
One friend offered me a coat to cover Bronte's legs up when on the Tube because 'she was asking for it'. She was wearing a short leather skirt with boots and tights.
Another time, an entire family approached me on the train suggesting my daughter 'cover-up'. The offending item that day? A playsuit with a cut out stomach. 
Then there was the concerned family member who called to suggest I take a picture of Freya off Facebook because I might be encouraging 'unwanted attention'. She was wearing a tight knee length dress with a piece cut out under the chest.
None of these outfits are outfits I would call inappropriate. That aside, I'm not sure what gives people the right to tell my daughters to cover up, or judge me on my parenting because I choose to allow them to do what they want with their bodies.
As a parenting coach/expert, I know only too well that body image is a huge issue for young girls. As part of the research I carried out for my latest book, I surveyed four hundred girls aged 11 to 14 about their bodies. 
A staggering 70 per cent of them wanted to change their body in some way. One girl told me how she regularly skipped breakfast and lunch to stay slim, when I asked what her mum thought she said 'Oh, she was the one who suggested it'. 
Another told me how at 11 her mum was already saving up for the boob job she was going to have for her sixteenth birthday. 
Then there was the girl who broke down in tears in front of me because that morning her mum had told her she looked fat and insisted she replace her skirt with a pair of trousers as she looked like a 'tart'.
I believe as a mother my job is raise my daughters to feel 100 per cent happy with their bodies and feel able to show as much or as a little as they want - after all it is their body. And I try to encourage other mothers to do the same.
I was in Starbucks last week with Freya, the place was packed with mothers and their children, a young girl about 16 walked in wearing a skin-tight short black dress. 
One mum wearing a padded jacket and riding boots piped up 'How can she go out wearing that?' 'She looks like a stripper,' chipped in another wearing leggings and a baggy flowered top 'I'd never let my child go out wearing that'.
All this was said in front of their own young daughters whom I am sure were listening intensely to their mother's body shaming attitudes.
Seeing that the girl could clearly hear their comments and was close to tears, I went over to her and said loudly 'You look amazing!' 
She shifted uncomfortably and smiled, she stood a little straighter, stared towards the gaggle of mums and said 'Thank you' . 
They all stared at me blankly, eyes squinted, noses scrunched, coffee cups in hand and then started whispering among themselves.
I want to raise my daughters to be respectful, kind and considerate to other girls. I don't want them to be judgmental, bitchy and cruel. 
When Bronte decides to wear a short skirt I don't tell her to cover up in case men get the wrong idea. In fact I applaud her for feeling confident enough to wear what they want 
Therefore as a mother I model the behaviour I want to see in them, and I think more mums should be doing the same.
When my daughter Freya puts on a tight dress I don't wince, I tell her it shows her beautiful curves. 
When Bronte decides to wear a short skirt I don't tell her to cover up in case men get the wrong idea. In fact I applaud her for feeling confident enough to wear what they want.
And if either of my daughters decide to go braless so they can wear a low cut dress, I don't tell them to cover up, I help them put on the body tape.
If only that lady at the hotel had thought before she spoke out in judgment. She knows nothing of my daughter and the struggles she has faced or my reasons for allowing her to celebrate her body in whatever way feels appropriate for her.
We were at the hotel that night because my daughter was judging the model competition. The same model completion she entered three years ago to help her get over her own body image issues. 
Issues caused by the result of other girls passing comment on how she looks, a cause so close to her heart she has since written a book on the topic.
No young girl deserves to feel shame about their body, whatever clothes she puts on. 
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My Daughter Hard Nipples Bikini