My Black Gf Com

My Black Gf Com
Part of HuffPost Black Voices. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
Dec 11, 2013, 12:24 PM EST | Updated Jan 25, 2014
Amplifying Black voices through news that matters.
Stories that matter delivered to your inbox
Wrap Foil Around Doorknobs When Alone, Here's Why
Barack And Michelle Obama Celebrate Daughter Malia On 24th Birthday With Adorable Childhood Photos
Bette Midler Sparks Backlash For Tweet Attacking Trans-Inclusive Language
NRA Posts Appallingly Insensitive July Fourth Greeting After Mass Shooting
Trump Knows Rigged Election Claim Is 'A Lie,' Says Ex-Insider Anthony Scaramucci
Pope Francis Condemns Abortions Again, Compares Them To 'Hiring A Hit Man'
Joe and Jill Biden Speak On Fourth Of July Parade Shooting In Highland Park, Illinois
Sen. Mitt Romney Warns Of Dire Threats To A Blind Nation 'In Denial'
Trump: Jan. 6 Panel 'Thugs' Should 'Go After' Americans 'Burning Down Cities'
At Least 6 Killed In Shooting At Fourth Of July Parade In Highland Park, Illinois
Adele Defends Decision To Postpone Las Vegas Residency Despite 'Brutal' Backlash
John Kirby Says Biden Will Not Pressure Ukraine Into Settlement With Russia
My Dad Made An 'Immigrant Float' For Our July 4th Parade And Something Beautiful Happened
Part of HuffPost Black Voices. ©2022 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
Huffington Post Trends and Digital Innovation editor. Writer, Artist Extraordinaire
Meet NYC-based writer and comedian, Akilah Hughes . She is your first black girlfriend. Akilah has a few things to say in the ways of love, interracial dating, and how to treat women who are, black, but first and foremost, human.
In an email Akilah told The Huffington Post that the video was inspired by her own experiences being in an interracial relationship, and dealing with the frustrations that come with having to educate a partner in what is acceptable treatment, and what is not.
"...there is so much unspoken common ground in those relationships. Anything to do with hair maintenance is always going to be a long drawn out conversation where the boy may or may not ever really understand what you mean by "oiling your scalp" or "protective styling," Akilah tells The Huffington Post.
In an effort to create a kind of guide, and to spare some future akwardness for those entering interracial relationships, Akilah put together this video along with editor Tim Knight .
In it, she covers everything from the exoticization of black women, to hair, to fried chicken stereotypes, to white guilt, to how she feels about the N word -- Never ever say it. Just don't.
I think Black women are exoticized in interracial relationships because the media only portrays Black women in a few ways, while other races tend to get more options. The media mold for a young Black woman is very limited--must be extremely aggressive, commandeering, unintelligent, etc.--while that has not been the case with the overwhelming majority of Black women I've met from all different backgrounds. Truthfully, I think more Black women would feel comfortable dating outside of their race if that wasn't the case, because it's one thing to have a TV show or movie that doesn't know you see you in that negative light--it's quite another to find out that your significant other does as well. When media starts to reflect the actual world we inhabit instead of aiming to create it, I'm sure there will be greater understanding in interracial relationships.
A long history of racial tension has led to an exoticized image of black woman in the media, a form of attraction feminist, social activist and African-American author bell hooks calls " Eating the Other "-- the idea that racial differences in mass culture are oftentimes not celebrated, but instead commodified.
"Within commodity culture, ethnicity becomes spice, seasoning that can liven up the dull dish that is mainstream white culture," hooks wrote in an essay on the topic.
As a result, the "Othered" black woman is classified as a hyper-sexual temptress, an image that can consciously or subconsciously seep its way into real life relationships creating stereotypes and unrealistic expectations of black women.
While videos like these help to educate and serve as a springboard for conversation, we, as a society, still have a long way to go before this problem no longer exists.
Check out Hughes guide in the video above and share your thoughts in the comments section.
Huffington Post Trends and Digital Innovation editor. Writer, Artist Extraordinaire

Something went wrong, but don’t fret — let’s give it another shot.

If playback doesn't begin shortly, try restarting your device.
Videos you watch may be added to the TV's watch history and influence TV recommendations. To avoid this, cancel and sign in to YouTube on your computer.
As CEO and Founder of Work On Your Game Inc., Dre Baldwin has given 4 TEDxTalks on Discipline, Confidence, Mental Toughness & Personal Initiative and has authored 31 books. He has appeared in national campaigns with Nike, Finish Line, Wendy's, Gatorade, Buick, Wilson Sports, STASH Investments and DIME magazine.

Dre has published over 8,000 videos to 140,000+ subscribers, his content being viewed over 73 million times.

Dre's daily Work On Your Game Podcast has over 2,200 episodes and more than 4.5 million downloads.

In just 5 years, Dre went from the end of his high school team's bench to a 9-year professional basketball career. He played in 8 countries including Lithuania, Germany, Montenegro, Slovakia and Germany.

Dre invented his Work On Your Game framework as a "roadmap in reverse" to help professionals with mindset, strategy, accountability and execution.

A Philadelphia native, Dre lives in Miami.

Do Interracial Couples Hate Their Own Kind? | Anna & Dre Show | Dre Baldwin
An error occurred while retrieving sharing information. Please try again later.
0:02 / 25:08 • Watch full video Live

Status

Not open for further replies.

Discussion Starter
·

#1

·

Sep 16, 2017

Here is the situation.

Married for 16 years, wife barely drank until the last 6. When she gets really drunk, she turns into a sex gremlim, completely out of control. This has happened 4-5 times, and always with me, until recently.

Such a cliche situation, she was out with a female and male co worker on an overseas work trip. both females are 40, the male was an intern on the project, 24. They all got completely wasted, went back to the 24 year old's temporary flat to "watch a movie".

My wife said that her lost complete control and started kissing this guy and had a session for about 20-30 mins in another room.

At which point her female co worker, passed out on the couch woke up and started calling my wife's name.

My wife said the two of them (the females) got out of there ASAP. As my wife sobered up she realized what she had done, was completely remorseful, sad, almost suicidal. She is devastated and claims she barely had any control.

I asked her if they had unprotected sex, and she wasn't sure. She hasn't communicated with him since. She did get tested for STD when I asked, that was clean. She thought she was safe, because when they went out they were celebrating the project, she had no attraction to him and thought he was gay.

She claims it was the only time this has happened and will do anything to stay in the marriage.

It's been two months since she told me and I'm still obviously struggling with it. We are going to start counseling this week.

I will always love her but am completely gutted. we have 2 kids.

While she didn't go out seeking an affair, cheating is cheating and from what I read, drinking and not understanding your boundaries and situation are not an excuse.
Lastly she was diagnosed with MS about a year ago and started on meds. Her personality has not changed at all, so I don't that the meds are a factor.

Looking for feedback from a drunk encounter and general advice about staying in a marriage and forgiving.
You need to talk to the female friend and the OM asap. Chances are you were TT and got the sanitized version of events.
A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

Here is the situation.

Married for 16 years, wife barely drank until the last 6. When she gets really drunk, she turns into a sex gremlim, completely out of control. This has happened 4-5 times, and always with me, until recently.

Such a cliche situation, she was out with a female and male co worker on an overseas work trip. both females are 40, the male was an intern on the project, 24. They all got completely wasted, went back to the 24 year old's temporary flat to "watch a movie".

My wife said that her lost complete control and started kissing this guy and had a session for about 20-30 mins in another room.

At which point her female co worker, passed out on the couch woke up and started calling my wife's name.

My wife said the two of them (the females) got out of there ASAP. As my wife sobered up she realized what she had done, was completely remorseful, sad, almost suicidal. She is devastated and claims she barely had any control.

I asked her if they had unprotected sex, and she wasn't sure. She hasn't communicated with him since. She did get tested for STD when I asked, that was clean. She thought she was safe, because when they went out they were celebrating the project, she had no attraction to him and thought he was gay.

She claims it was the only time this has happened and will do anything to stay in the marriage.

It's been two months since she told me and I'm still obviously struggling with it. We are going to start counseling this week.

I will always love her but am completely gutted. we have 2 kids.

While she didn't go out seeking an affair, cheating is cheating and from what I read, drinking and not understanding your boundaries and situation are not an excuse.

Lastly she was diagnosed with MS about a year ago and started on meds. Her personality has not changed at all, so I don't that the meds are a factor.

Looking for feedback from a drunk encounter and general advice about staying in a marriage and forgiving.

Meds are a crap excuse, especially MS meds. You said this behavior has been going on, with you, for six years. So, she knew EXACTLY how she was and is when she drinks. She knew too many details to be anywhere NEAR being Black out Drunk. Also, sorry, the "I thought he/she was gay" or any variation is one of the OLDEST excuses in the book regardless of gender. MS is not an excuse to cheat. Poor boundaries is not an excuse to cheat. Mixing meds and drinking is not an excuse to cheat. I'd be asking "what made you decide to try and turn a gay man bi or straight?"

You have no clue what she was looking for an affair or not.

Discussion Starter
·

#5

·

Sep 17, 2017

I think marriage counselling might be of help, for you, @Bruno .

Incidentally, where are you in the world? I ask only because sometimes advice offered needs to be modified depending on where someone lives.

Also, you mentioned the OM was living in a flat, rather than an apartment which might indicate UK, Irish or perhaps Australian?
She thought he was gay...... 🙄👀😳

Right, now you know she's totally lying, right?

The story doesn't even have any resemblance to something I could say "Yeah, it might've happened that way....."

The bs meter is really showing a strong signal here. It's reading 100% black angus Texas hill country bs. But I think that particular flavor is very similar to bs in other areas of the world. I may need to recalibrate it. Ask her something else and report back. It could be Scottish highland free range bs.

Here is the situation.

Married for 16 years, wife barely drank until the last 6. When she gets really drunk, she turns into a sex gremlim, completely out of control. This has happened 4-5 times, and always with me, until recently.

Such a cliche situation, she was out with a female and male co worker on an overseas work trip. both females are 40, the male was an intern on the project, 24. They all got completely wasted, went back to the 24 year old's temporary flat to "watch a movie".

My wife said that her lost complete control and started kissing this guy and had a session for about 20-30 mins in another room.

At which point her female co worker, passed out on the couch woke up and started calling my wife's name.

My wife said the two of them (the females) got out of there ASAP. As my wife sobered up she realized what she had done, was completely remorseful, sad, almost suicidal. She is devastated and claims she barely had any control.

I asked her if they had unprotected sex, and she wasn't sure. She hasn't communicated with him since. She did get tested for STD when I asked, that was clean. She thought she was safe, because when they went out they were celebrating the project, she had no attraction to him and thought he was gay.

She claims it was the only time this has happened and will do anything to stay in the marriage.

It's been two months since she told me and I'm still obviously struggling with it. We are going to start counseling this week.

I will always love her but am completely gutted. we have 2 kids.

While she didn't go out seeking an affair, cheating is cheating and from what I read, drinking and not understanding your boundaries and situation are not an excuse.
Lastly she was diagnosed with MS about a year ago and started on meds. Her personality has not changed at all, so I don't that the meds are a factor.

Looking for feedback from a drunk encounter and general advice about staying in a marriage and forgiving.

Virginia: "Why can't you kids leave well enough alone? Everything was fine until you started digging around."
Burt: "You sound like a Scooby Doo villain."
Well it only happens when she's drunk and you're not there.

Hmmmmmm????

Discussion Starter
·

#10

·

Sep 17, 2017

All I have is what she tells me. We've had a very open and honest relationship until then. She was extremely remorseful.

I'm not a fool either and I'm not going to make any rash decisions. I'm going to give it a year, go to counseling with her and see if we can get through this.

If not, I'm going to walk away.
is cheating a deal breaker for you?
That broken thing you keep trying to put back together can't even compare with that beautiful thing that's waiting to be built

Discussion Starter
·

#12

·

Sep 17, 2017

My emotions are still sore, but I was livid for a month. It's been two months since the cheating now and I am finally able to face it without having to leave the house and walk. Everything I read said don't make decisions when feeling red, and I believe that to be good advice.

Many people online are of the mentality, eff that and get a divorce ASAP. I'm not sure that is best. Some people have huge egos and can't deal with things.

I'm trying to approach this as rationally as I can. We have two kids and they need to be considered.

Discussion Starter
·

#13

·

Sep 17, 2017

@MattMatt we've lived in several countries and are in the USA now.
“The time's gone by for sentiment and all that foolery. Mercy's all very well but after all it's justice that clinches the bargain.”

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
good luck.

Not sure what else you are looking for here.
You hear all the time that the BS has to eat a **** sandwich, but most of the time the WS -- IS the **** sandwich.
Your kids do need to be considered, that you and your wife gave a healthy marriage and not a toxic one. What you can do is file for divorce, in a year of you don't like what you see you're done. If you do like what you see then s consequence to bad choices was delivered. Have her served at work also, your first objective needs to be a hard stance. Doing MC is not good now, individual therapy for you both is a great idea. Your wife needs to figure out why she is like this when drunk, even with you, because as you know you won't be there all of the time.

I would contact the intern and coworker also, the on wont say much but the coworker may spill more. Getting the truth is a tricky deal, most tell you very watered down versions, my wife included. I doubt there is remorse yet, obviously she has regret, but remorse is far different. What is she displaying that you feel is remorse? Crying? Begging? Saying sorry? Saying I'll never do it again? I'll do anything? We can work through this? That's all regret, not one ounce of remorse there. Suicidal? Maybe trying manipulation, did she make a suicide attempt? Did she have a plan? Is she depressed? Guess what, that's regret to, remorse is still far different.

File now, then wait six months for your emotions and feelings to stop flooding your brain. You can always stop the divorce. Make your decision at the six month mark, because if you thought you were livid, wait until rage sets in. Make your decision from a point of strength, not a knee jerk reaction. Also tell your wife that divorce is front and center on the table, until you see how much she grows from therapy.
Don't believe everything you hear, and only half of what you see.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.

My emotions are still sore, but I was livid for a month. It's been two months since the cheating now and I am finally able to face it without having to leave the house and walk. Everything I read said don't make decisions when feeling red, and I believe that to be good advice.

Many people online are of the mentality, eff that and get a divorce ASAP. I'm not sure that is best. Some people have huge egos and can't deal with things.

I'm trying to approach this as rationally as I can. We have two kids and they need to be considered.

You know what she is like when drunk. She knows what she is like when drunk.

She decides to get drunk while with another man. What did she expect to happen?

My firm belief is that alcohol can loosen inhibitions, but will not change a person's basic character.

Being drunk is not an excuse nor a reason for bad behavior. The character flaw has to be there buried deep inside waiting to get out.

If you stay together, she needs to stop drinking period if you are not with her.
I believe in R as long as the WS has true remorse. You are wise to take your time and not rush to a decision. Unfortunately part of your future with her will be to watch her like a hawk. Drinking has to go and IC for her. Good luck.

Discussion Starter
·

#20

·

Sep 17, 2017

Status

Not open for further replies.

A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more!

VerticalScope Inc., 111 Peter Street, Suite 600, Toronto, Ontario, M5V 2H1, Canada

The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo

Cute Thick Latina
Paulinemaxx
Suzee Pai Penthouse Nude

My Black Gf Com

Report Page