Muslim Dating Practices

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Muslim Dating Practices
Home Romance Compass Blog Muslim Dating Muslim Dating Culture: Traditions and Peculiarities

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What is the family from the point of view of Islam? What do we know about their customs and traditions, from dating to divorce, including customs and traditions of the intimate side of life. What are the non-obvious and little-known nuances in building a Muslim family? Let's get acquainted with the intricacies of the traditional family way of life in Islam. Find out the answers to all these questions before you go to Muslim dating sites.
Can Muslims date? Of course, but just getting acquainted for dating a Muslim man or a girl is considered wrong. However, it is practically impossible - after all, the true young Muslim woman does not leave the house without being accompanied by adults or men - family members, it is considered indecent. She must live in anticipation of the appearance of her only and main man - her husband, who will make up the meaning of her life, whom she will take care of, whose desires and moods she will have to catch and fulfill. She will strive to bring him joy, and his joy will be the main joy for her. She will give birth to his children and educate them, she will keep him faithful to the end of their days. So they bring up a young Muslim woman. You can get acquainted with the girl only with serious intentions in mind - for creation of a family. A man is not supposed - in order to avoid the temptation - to be alone with a woman who is not his blood relative, talk and touch her.
From the point of view of a person brought up in the spirit of Western cultural values and appropriate morals, these Muslim dating rules are too strict. However, for Muslims, each rule of conduct has a sacred foundation, which goes back either to antiquity (which is a serious reason for fulfilling any traditional prescriptions), or straight into the Koran. Therefore, you will have to accept this if your intentions are really serious. If you show a Muslim woman respect for her traditional values, this will be the first "bonus" in the "piggy bank" of your relationship.
According to the Koran, a man can and must marry not only when he decides that it is time to get a family, but also if he feels a physiological need for communication with a woman. In this case, in order not to seek casual ties (according to the Koran this is a great sin) and not to restrain one's desires, it is better for a man to marry.
By the way, the popular opinion about dating a Muslim that a bride must necessarily be a virgin is not entirely true. The best option is when not only the girl but also the young man did not have sexual experience before marriage, when they are clean before the meeting with each other. At the same time, it is right and natural that a young man and a girl should receive all the necessary knowledge about satisfaction of sexual desire in accordance with the laws of Allah. A girl is considered ready to marry from the age of 9. However, marriage with a widow or a divorced woman is considered perfectly normal.
An interesting fact: the first wife of the 20-year-old Prophet Muhammad was 15 years older than him, and that was her second marriage.
When choosing the groom and the bride, the family in which they were brought up plays an important role. A woman should choose a husband who would be educated no worse than she, and his financial position should be at least equal. The higher status and income of the future husband is a guarantee of family stability since the position of the wife and children is determined by the position of the man. Having lost the previous standard of living, the wife can regret it and experience a feeling of disappointment. In this case, the wife will not be loving and joyful, and happiness will leave the house. According to the Koran, the bride must give voluntary consent to marriage, it must not be coerced, both spouses must be in love. It is noteworthy that some Muslim nationalities ignore this rule and conclude something like a medieval dynastic marriage. And this happens despite the general condemnation of this approach by leading Muslim spiritual and cultural figures, whose authority is fully deserved by certain, important for the Muslim world affairs.
Love, refined and romantic, passionate and erotic, is imbued with poetry and literature of all Islamic peoples. Religion as a romantic and all-consuming love is critical. First, of course, because such feelings distract from thoughts about God.
But there is another explanation for the criticism of insane love in the writings of Muslim theologians: a man intoxicated with love is fixated on the subject of his feelings, and this makes him weak and incapable of developing his personality. In any case, in Islam, love before marriage is purely platonic. It is in the family, in marriage, where man realizes his main social and divine destiny - the continuation of the family, and at the same time his sexual desires and needs.
The intimate life of a Muslim family is covered in mystery, and it is not allowed to disclose it to either a man or a woman. Telling relatives or friends about their own successes, joys or sorrows and tears - everything that happens in the bedroom between the two is forbidden. The windows of the room in which a woman and a man are left alone, indulging in love, should be densely blinded. And it's better if they are not completely exposed, and the blanket will cover their love games. However, both of these wishes remain at the discretion of the spouses.
Muslim women are very domestic compared to women of Western culture. The most intimate, glittering, perfumed and dressed they are seen at home. The wife is supposed to respond with joy and satisfy her husband when he wishes. A friend of mine, a Muslim, once told me that in many families known to him, it is necessary that the wife asks her husband every night before going to bed: "Do you need me today?"
A woman is supposed to satisfy a man, even if she does not have a mood for it. If the man himself does not want intimacy, he should still be affectionate towards his wife. To take care of the sexual satisfaction of the partner is expected from both - both from the husband and the wife. The Koran prescribes a man to enter into an intimate relationship with his wife every 4 days. He is not allowed to leave his wife for a long time alone, leaving for more than six months. Inattention to his wife and a long separation can provoke her infidelity, which is a sin and an excuse for divorce. With a pregnant wife, you can have a close relationship.
Sex in Islam, however, like many other things, is ritualized:
Many men who are dating Muslim women are interested in the question of divorce with a Muslim woman. We are all adults and we understand that not all love stories have a happy ending. Therefore, you need to take into account all the nuances. The valid reasons for divorce are:
In Muslim dating culture there are three types of divorce:
Obviously, there is no single answer to this question. But we have a few tips. First, never rush to conclusions. In the Muslim world, there are so many subtleties and peculiarities, including those concerning love relationships, that it may take years to study them. It is possible that in the family of a girl who you like not so strict customs reign as we described. To begin with, find out if the girl wants to talk and gently ask her about all these things. Everything immediately becomes clear from her answers. Secondly, be prepared for the fact that your attitude towards life can change. And these changes must be exclusively voluntary. For most people, the transition from one attitude towards life to another is a very painful process. Remember that dating Muslim women is a serious, fascinating but difficult undertaking and not every man can do it.
Muslim online dating — this is what you need to start an acquaintance with this world, if you are really serious. Here you can meet girls from Arabic world who are interested in Muslim dating outside religion. Many of them honor the traditions of their culture, but they are not so radical about certain "romantic" prescriptions of Islam.

Last updated on August 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think.
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What is a dating? According to Cambridge Dictionary, a dating is an activity that regularly people spend time with someone they have a romantic relationship with. What is the meaning by a romantic relationship? From the definition about dating, we can see many examples of some activities that people do while dating nowadays. Doing some ‘romantic’ activities is a perfect plan for them to waste their time together. We can find many couples do dating everywhere. They usually take some advantages from holiday and weekend. A girl will not think several times to accept their boyfriend asking to date.
In this era, it is not surprise if we see a boy and his girlfriend do dating in public area. The society will also not disturb them and seem like do nothing of this situation. It looks like habitual daily activity that is not taboo anymore. For the result, pregnancies before marriage often occur in our surrounding. Who will be blamed in this condition? Many factors involve this condition actually. Using of internet, watching the vulgar content of television program, and decreasing moral value in our societies become the top three of some that factors.
As we know, Indonesia is the country with the largest number of Muslims in the world. We also have known in the Al-Quran there are many verses about dating. For instance, you may check surah Al-Isro : 32, surah An-Nur : 2-3, and surah Al-Furqan : 68 – 69.
There are a lot of verses in Al-Quran that ban dating before marriage. But surprisingly, mostly Muslims do date before marriage. From teenager till adolescent are not shy anymore to date in public. Why could it be occurred? We cannot blame just from one side, from the activists may be. We have to think clearly that this situation could not be occurred if the societies still hold Al-quran values in their daily activities.
In Islam, if someone wants to know more about someone who he is falling in love with, and wants to ask her to marry, he can do Ta’aruf. It seems like an activity that introducing a woman and a man who have an intention to marry but they shouldn’t meet each other without their Mahrom and also it also has time limitation. Recently, Ta’aruf is already well known by many people.
They who are in the romantic relationship with someone finally decide to break, change their relationship with the name of Ta’aruf. Unfortunately, they just change the name without change the content. They still do date, meet in the outside or in the house, seduce each other, and another type of ‘romantic’ activities. Moreover, some teenagers from 12 till 15 who don’t have an intention to marry also do the same. They call their love with “Loving By Allah” and do Ta’aruf become the halal way to deliver their feeling with someone that they love with.
For you who want to marry someone, don’t be afraid, don’t be worry, because Islam has given us the right rules to do introducing with your choice. How can we do this?
Falling in love with another is normal. Islam also tells people to love every creature. If you have special feeling with someone, you have to think whether it will be told or not. Telling someone about your feeling has own risk. May you will be accepted or rejected. In Islam if you have special feeling with someone the only way to make it halal relationship is by marriage. But if you don’t ready yet, fasting is the best way to control your lust.
If you have a special one that you want to marry with, so you can skip this part and next to the second one. But, if you don’t have a certain girl yet, while you have already to marry, please pay attention to this part.
Asking for help to people that you trust and know well to look for your girl, or you can make a proposal consists of your biography then ask them to give it to a girl who they are recommended. The girl will do the same, or you can get the information from your people. Based on the basic information, you and she can make a decision whether you want to continue to the next steps or not. If you or she will not, so you will stop in this step. But if both of you will, you can continue to the next steps.
You have stable income, enough knowledge, and have special feeling with someone, what should you do? Should you tell her about your feeling, do dating for some times, then decide to marry her or may break the relationship? The ending of the romantic relationship are to break or to marry. If finally you break, it means you break your partner’s heart. Firstly you make her fly then other day you pain her heart deeply. How hurt your action is! In the other side, if you decide to end your relationship by marrying her, is that any guarantee for you to make your marriage happily ever after?
Many evidences we can found in this real life. Couples who were in the relationship in several years, then decided to marry, they force only in several months. So, what are the advantages of dating before marriage? Some people will answer to know more about your partner, doesn’t it? But, after regarding some true stories about it, can the dating before marriage play those roles? Absolutely no.
So, what can you do to make sure that you have chosen the right girl? Islam tells us to do Taaruf. Is it the same as dating? Big no is the answer. Look at some activities in the Taaruf as the basic of Islamic dating rules:
The next step after both of you are ready to continue is dating. Which kind of dating that is allowed in Islam? Although you have a good intention, you also should do in the right way. Let’s check it out:
After you have passed all of steps, you can marry her. You can do dating after that. Dating after marriage is sweeter than before, you and she can do anything. Moreover, more you express your feeling with her more you will get reward from Allah. The sin that you can get from dating before marriage you can change become reward by dating after marriage. How wonderful it is.
The Islamic dating rules give for us, exactly have many advantages. These are:
As I said before, if you don’t ready yet to marry, fasting is the best way to control your lust. It will keep not only purity of your body but also your heart. It also will distance you from immorality of dating. May you can trust yourself or your boy/girlfriend self, but of course devil cannot be trust right? Even though devil is always support you to violate Allah rules, and as we know dating before marriage is also violate Allah rules.
Unrequited love, breakup, jealous and other things about the hurt of ‘romantic’ relationship often make you weak, sad, even you can think logically. Dating before marriage will give you those hurt. Although, the happiness will be presented first that make you think if wonderful romantic relationship will you get till the end. You are strongly wrong, have relationship without any engagement will hurt both of you.
As a social creature, human need another to survive and stay alive. But when you in ‘romantic’ relationship with someone, mostly you will have limited time to your other friends. The worst possible is when your girl/boyfriend is protective. You may not be allowed to take your time to another. How terrible it is. Furthermore, if finally you break with him/her, can you still act like before? Certainly no, doesn’t it? You lost your love and also your friend. Both of you hurt each other exactly. When you have known the risk of taking the ‘romantic’ relationship, why do you still do? So I can say, that you boy deliberately hurt your special one, and you girl deliberately allow someone to hurt your heart.
But the problem is, how if you are falling in love with someone, but you still don’t ready to marry her. Her face appears every time in your mind. You cannot focus in your work, just want to meet or even see her. Totally you think illogical. Besides, you are still teenager or there are some factors that are not allowed you to marry. What should you do?
According to me before, having special feeling with another is normal. But it doesn’t mean that the only way to express your love is by dating with her. If you don’t ready yet to get responsible to marry her, it’s better to you to leave her. Getting closer to Allah may will help you to forget her, control your emotion and your feeling. You can express your feeling by obey Allah rules, because your love of Allah will give you confidential and other advantages. You can try to do Dhuha prayer for example, you can do from 06.30 till 11.00 a.m.
One day one Juz program is also effective. You will spend more time to read Al-Quran every day. Not only can forget your feeling, this way also gives you a comfort feeling. What are the other advantages by getting closer to Allah? You will see how big Allah’s love to us as the creature, what Allah have given to us, and how our feedback to all of Allah’s kindness. If we have considered about that, will we still think about another? Of course we will do everything to obey Allah rules, as our thanks to Allah. Remember the following Qudsi hadith, about the importance of being assured to Allah SWT.
"I am always in accordance with the conjecture of my servant to Me, and I al
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