Mummy And Daddy Having Sex

Mummy And Daddy Having Sex
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"I heard my dad whisper, 'Oh, it's really hard, alright."
"It still haunts me to this day, all that jiggling."
"When I asked what was happening, my mom said, 'Oh, nothing — I dropped my earring on the bed, and your father and I are just looking for it. It's just really hard with a bed this big.' So I just left the room, shook, and as I did, I heard my dad whisper, ' Oh, it's really hard, alright .' Canada Day has never been the same."
"I should note, if you think a 19-year-old should have known better, I had lived alone with my mom since age six, and she didn't get married until I was 18. So I was not prepared for this kind of thing."
"She eventually had to explain that sometimes grown-ups have sex just for fun."
"My mom just laughed, 'Your father and I have sex. It's not the worst thing in the world.' But to this day, I will not unpack anyone's bags but my own."
"It went on for so long that I actually texted my mom to tell her we could hear them. Then she came out of the bedroom and told that what we were hearing...was her talking in her sleep . I was so embarrassed."
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
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Having your children catch you having sex is – or indeed should be – every parent’s worst nightmare.
My supersonic hearing apparently didn’t work too well this morning. It was 5:30 am(!!!!). Our bedroom door was closed and we thought we’d enjoy a little adult mud wrestling – without the mud, slutty clothes or actual wrestling.
My mummy superhero hearing knew to listen out for the creaking of floorboards, the little ‘tap tap tap’ on the door, followed by “mummy, daddy – good morning” announcement that we’ve taught them to be overly conspicuous with.
Listen: Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo talk about tackling the sex talk with kids, on our podcast for imperfect parents. Post continues after audio.
Out of habit I randomly throw my eyes towards our door, turn my head to the side (which can be incredibly awkward depending on positioning) and listen. Normally it’s a nope, no kids. Door still closed. All good.
I turned my head to look at the door and it’s WIDE OPEN. This is the ONE morning our kids decide to be stealth ninjas. I threw the husband off (and out) and then hear our girls whispering because THEY’RE STANDING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE OPEN DOOR!
They’ve obviously opened the door , seen Dad’s nude bits on Mum and then quietly retreated to stand on the other side of the open door to work out what to do.
We looked at each other with horrified expressions while yanking the doona up to preserve what little modesty remained. Talk about closing the gate after the horse has bolted.
Yeah well, we did too 30 seconds ago but you just royally screwed the pooch on that one kids. So, hugs and kisses and the kids leave the room. We both just looked at each other with a combo deal of horror and amusement – OK, 99 per cent horror. We both optimistically (and stupidly) hoped there was a chance they didn’t see anything.
My husband went out to see all three kids and was immediately met with our seven-year-old.
“Dad, why weren’t you wearing any clothes?”
“I was just about to get out of bed,” he said.
“And what were you doing to Mummy?”
“Ummm, Mummy was cheeky and I was wrestling with her.”
“But why weren’t you wearing any clothes while you were wrestling her?”
“Um, Daddy, has to go to get ready for work now….”
I lay there mortified but also grateful that he was on the receiving end of these questions. I just lay there praying to the Big Man upstairs that our kids wouldn’t go to their Catholic school with stories of their parents’ nude wrestling.
When I walked out, the first question I received was… “Mum, why were you and Daddy wrestling in the nude this morning?”. As my child asked this, our second (nine years old) smirked and did some weird hip gyration that will unsettle me for the rest of my life.
I responded the only mother way I could think of.
“OK kids, let's get breakfast, help me with the lunches, get dressed, find your shoes etc…”
I must have rambled for two minutes with a list of chores and the avoidance tactic worked.
Next time we’ll barricade the stupid frickin' door.
This post originally appeared on Rock Star Mums Drink Champagne . You can follow Fiona on Facebook here .
There is something called a latch, and it goes on a door.
What... a... missed... opportunity.

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Tatiana94 хочет обменяться с вами фотками. Вы подтверждаете?
Прежде чем показать вам список и фотографии одиноких женщин, которые готовы к новым знакомствам, мы должны задать несколько вопросов.
Многие из этих девушек ищут мужское внимание и новые впечатления. Согласны ли вы, если они сами будут проявлять инициативу?
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Теперь вы можете посмотреть фотографии и список одиноких женщин, готовых к новым знакомствам и живущих рядом с вами. Пожалуйста, уважайте их желания и сохраняйте конфиденциальность ваших встреч!

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