Multiple Male Orgasm
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There’s some great stuff inside, but the words “multi-orgasmic man” can be misleading.
Truth #1: No matter how hard you try, you’re not going to be able to have 5 ejaculatory orgasms in a row and keep having sex. I don’t care if you’re only 18 years old… The refractory period is real.
To be clear, nobody’s saying this is possible, but the words “multiple orgasms for men” have lead many to believe it might be. These words are all over the internet in videos, articles and trainings, and I have yet to find something that clearly defines what’s going on… so I wrote this.
If multiple orgasms for men aren’t possible with the typical ejaculatory orgasm, then what’s the logical alternative?
It is absolutely, 100% possible for you to have multiple orgasms without ejaculation. I can tell you this from personal experience. BUT that leads right into the second truth:
Truth #2: An orgasm without ejaculation is NOT going to look or feel like the ejaculatory orgasms you’re used to. You’re not going to get the intense 7-second rush of genital contractions over and over again. This is where there is a fair amount of misunderstanding…
I’ve seen a bunch of claims that you can have the exact same orgasmic experience you’re used to with ejaculation — just without the ejaculation. This is not accurate, and semantics are important.
This is the back cover of the Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia:
“Learn to separate orgasm and ejaculation!”
It sounds so simple… and it’s a bit misleading. Instead of saying “learn to separate your orgasm from ejaculation,” it should say this:
“Learn a new way to orgasm that that will feel 20 times better than any ejaculation you’ve ever had, and prepare to put in at least 2 months of consistent effort to reprogram your entire sexual response system to actually be able to experience this new kind of orgasm without ejaculation.”
When you experience an orgasm without ejaculation for the first time, it’ll probably blow your mind. It can feel way BETTER than the typical ejaculation, and you will experience ZERO refractory period afterwards.
That’s right, you can keep having sex, and increase the total amount of pleasure you’re experiencing with your partner.
Here’s the “Orgasmic Potential” graph from the Multi-Orgasmic Man book (he mostly gets it right), and there are three observations I’d like to make…
(The vertical axis on this graph represents pleasure & energy, and the horizontal axis represents time).
Observation #1: Notice where line B (multiple whole-body orgasms) splits from line A (Ordinary “Big Bang” ejaculatory orgasm). It goes UNDER the point of no return, and then rises higher, higher and higher.
To get to multiple orgasms, you bypass ejaculation, ejaculatory contractions and the refractory period associated with that kind of orgasm. You bypass this so you can experience MORE PLEASURE.
Hopefully you’re getting the point by now. As a man, when you have multiple orgasms without ejaculation, these orgasms feel different from what you’re used to. So…
I recently surveyed everyone who follows me on Instagram, and received hundreds of responses. (THANK YOU!) Here are a handful of responses from men who have experienced orgasm without ejaculation:
“Shuddering waves of pure bliss. Tactile and palatable. Like I could ride that wave forever.”
“It was a full body experience, like my whole body was tingling especially around my lips and hands. Lasted 5 whole minutes. I felt very energized.”
“It feels like I was floating with this never ending sense of ecstasy.”
“Electric tingling sensations starting in the core and erupting down into the toes and into the top of my head. Leaving the head feeling like a pressure has been released and then relaxed all over the body.”
“Amazing…energy waves rippled up through my body.”
“I love orgasms without ejaculation. They feel like extended ejaculatory orgasms that are not as climatic. The length of them though makes them incredibly enjoyable. I feel vitalized and charged by them, and not depleted. It makes me want to stay engaged and connected to my partner. After, I feel satisfied and energetic, potentially eager to re-engage sexually or in other ways”
“I felt like a bolt of lighting went thru my body. I shivered. Felt the hairs on my neck stand up. It was quite refreshing.”
“I experienced it full body. It felt as I was ejaculating with no projectile. It lasted a longer amount of time, 5–7 minutes. Afterwards I felt rejuvenated, empowered, and present.”
Sounds very different from the typical 7-second ejaculatory orgasm eh? It’s delicious, can go on for a long time, and because there’s no refractory period you can have orgasm after orgasm after orgasm.
That being said, here’s something to watch out for:
Out of the hundreds of men I’ve talked to about this, many said they were able to have an orgasms without ejaculating. Something else was happening for these men though…
After talking with them for a bit it became clear that they were actually ejaculating and using a dangerous technique to forcefully divert their semen up into their bladder instead of out through their penis.
AKA: The Million Dollar Point (the point you press during the finger lock technique).
Observation #2: The finger lock technique mentioned in this graph is dangerous for your health, and here’s why. When you get to the point of no return and you employ the finger lock technique, you’re still ejaculating… but because of the pressure on your perineum & tubes inside your genital region, your ejaculation is forcefully stopped and diverted into your bladder instead of leaving your body through your penis.
This is called a retrograde ejaculation, and it puts immense amounts of pressure (literally) on the inner workings of your reproductive system because you’re ramming your fingers into a vulnerable part of your body. You don’t want that…
The “finger lock” is dangerous, but some people still teach it. (Mantak and his own students don’t teach it anymore).
Here’s a closer look with some edits I put in…
The finger lock technique pinches off the tubes that bring semen through your penis, and diverts your ejaculation into your bladder.
This practice is basically “cheating,” but if you do it you’re cheating yourself more than anyone else. There are other methods to stop yourself from ejaculating (so you can last longer in bed) that are much better for your health. If that interests you, check out the guide I put together here: How to Last Longer in Bed
Evidence of retrograde ejaculation:
So what happens if you make love for hours and don’t ejaculate? This question brings us to the 3rd observation…
If you make love, have multiple orgasms, close your lovemaking session without ejaculating, AND integrate your increased energy into your body in a healthy way, you will experience all kinds amazing benefits in your life and relationship(s).
This is sexual energy transmutation → changing your aroused sexual energy into another form of energy you can use to fuel whatever you want. And when you have multiple orgasms, you need to transmute your energy!
This is why the practice of Semen Retention exists. The basic idea is that excess ejaculation can harm your life, but if you’re intentional with your ejaculations and sexual energy, you can supercharge your life.
It’s essentially a modern take on the ancient wisdom of Tantra/Yoga and Taoist Sexuality. If you’d like to learn more about that, check out my practical Semen Retention Guide.
If you want to be the kind of man who can have multiple orgasms without ejaculating, and fully embody his shameless sexual power with confidence, sign up for my email list because my 5-week Orgasmic Mastery Course will open for enrollment in August, and everyone on my email list will get an opportunity to enroll for a substantial discount.
Multiple orgasms for men are possible.
Shoot me an email, or reach out to me on Instagram and let me know.
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When it comes to orgasms, you really can't have too much of a good thing. While some people with a vagina are able to have multiple orgasms fairly easily, it tends to be a bit trickier for the penis-owning population, thanks to that pesky refractory period getting in the way.
"When men ejaculate, their brain becomes unresponsive to sexual stimulation, so they are effectively on the bench when it comes to sex," says Kenneth Play, the sex educator known as the "world's greatest sex hacker."
If only there were ways to orgasm without ejaculating and triggering that refractory period, amirite? Oh, wait. There are! Experts have identified various ways for men to climax more than once in a row, including through non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm (NEMO) and prostate orgasms. It just takes practice. (Lucky for you, that practice involves masturbation, so this'll probably be the most fun homework you've ever had.)
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An added bonus: learning to have multiple orgasms can benefit everyone involved in your sex life.
"This capacity also equalizes the disparity between men and women’s pleasure to some degree," Play says. "A large percentage of women can have multiple orgasms, so this enables their male partners to keep up with them."
We tend to equate penile orgasms with ejaculation, but that’s not exactly the case.
"The orgasm is the part of the sexual experience that happens between two and seven seconds before ejaculation,” Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a Los Angeles sexologist explained to GQ. “It combines an increase in full-body sensitivity, quickening of breath, and a flood of sensations through the scrotum and penis.
"Ejaculation is the final step of stimulation and involves the release of semen, as well as the neurotransmitters that will send the body into 'rest and recovery mode,' or the refractory period.”
While it’s virtually impossible for men to have multiple ejaculatory orgasms with no refractory period, you can climax several times in a row if you don’t release any semen. The technique is known as non-ejaculatory multiple orgasm, or NEMO, and involves strengthening your pelvic floor.
"Taoist traditions have extremely elaborate methods for cultivating this ability, as well as some yogic lineages from India, Tibet, and China," Play explains. "These traditions use this practice to retain energy and alertness and direct it towards the goals of their tradition. Avoiding the refractory period and staying aroused and in the game, whether sexually, emotionally, or physically, is definitely a huge benefit."
If you think non-ejaculatory orgasms will feel different from regular orgasms, you’re right—so remember to lower your expectations just a little.
"You can’t expect for each small orgasm to feel like your usual orgasms," says Jonathan Stegall, M.D., founder and president of the Center for Advanced Medicine in Atlanta. "They’ll be less in intensity, but for some men, having several small orgasms is actually preferable to having one big one."
As we mentioned earlier, having multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms is all about controlling your pelvic floor.
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"While some men experience multiple orgasms accidentally, others can learn to invite such a reaction," says sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright.
You can do this with Kegel exercises, which strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and your ability to control orgasmic and ejaculatory responses in the heat of the moment, she says. Your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle—which stretches from the pubic bone to the tailbone—controls ejaculation. If you can keep yourself from ejaculating after an orgasm, you’ll be more likely to skip the refractory period and orgasm again—and again, and again.
To perform Kegel exercises, you want to contract the PC muscle as you would when you control the flow of urine as you’re peeing. You can practice Kegels anywhere—like contracting the muscle for 10 seconds while sitting in your car.
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“In studies of men who claim to be multi-orgasmic, researchers have found that some guys just seem to come by it naturally, whereas others have taught themselves to have multiple orgasms,” explains Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author Tell Me What You Want. The men who taught themselves how to be multi-orgasmic did so “by engaging in a lot of masturbatory practice in which they would get to the brink of orgasm, but then prevent ejaculation from occurring, such as by squeezing the penis.”
The key is to get as close as possible to the “point of no return” without actually reaching it. Relationship guru Dan Savage popularized that term, and it refers to when you reach a point either during sex or masturbation when ejaculation is inevitable. No amount of holding off, pressure, or Kegel squeezes will prevent emission.
When practicing how to become multi-orgasmic, it’s necessary to familiarize yourself with your own point of no return and to not cross it. “With enough practice and exercise, these men said that they were ultimately able to have several orgasms when they have sex, with their last one being an ejaculatory orgasm,” Lehmiller says.
If you have a hard time delaying gratification, switching positions during sex can help you control ejaculation and erection.
Sex therapist Jane Greer suggests trying a sex position where you're easily able "to stand up and pull out before you ejaculate." (May we recommend any of these?) "That way, you can tighten your muscles right before the point of ejaculation so you can experience orgasm without ejaculation."
In The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know, authors Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams dedicate a large portion of their book to the importance of breathing.
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Deep “belly breathing” or “diaphragm breathing” is a key to mitigating ejaculation, explain the authors. When you get close to ejaculating, your breath rate sharply increases as you take short and shallow breaths. This, in turn, also increases your heart rate. Slowing down both will help you better control ejaculating.
To practice belly breathing, sit on a chair with your back straight. Relax your shoulders and place your hands on your stomach. Inhale deeply through your nose, and feel your stomach expand. Your chest should not move. Each breath should last for at least three seconds. Get in the habit of doing this type of breathing daily. You can do it at work, while crossing the street, and (especially) when you find yourself stressed. The goal is for belly breathing to become your normal style of breathing.
Now, when you’re in the bedroom, you’ll notice both your breath and heart rate increase. This is when you really want to engage in belly breathing to help slow down your breathing and postpone ejaculation.
If you ask Play, the best way to achieve multiple orgasms involves stimulating the prostate, a.k.a. the "p-spot." The goal is to have a prostate orgasm (or anal orgasm), a unique and satisfying sensation that doesn't necessarily involve penile ejaculation. In fact, some guys can have a prostate orgasm without even being hard.
The following section is Play's step-by-step guide, in his words, for achieving multiple orgasms through prostate stimulation.
"First of all, I recommend masturbation rather than partner play to start this exploration because you have a direct feedback loop, and without having to instruct someone else or worry about being comfortable, things are much simpler and more effective. Put on your favorite porn, or whatever you normally do to get in the mood. Start stimulating your penis to get to a certain level of arousal before anal penetration, ‘cause otherwise it can feel like a medical exam."
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"For anal play I recommend the small end of the njoy pure wand. You can put it in lukewarm water to make it warm, and definitely use a good silicone lube! Move the toy around until you find the right spot, then use a rocking motion with your wrist joint to rock the njoy against the front wall of the rectum, applying pressure to the prostate."
"Start playing with the toy until you feel some sensation on your prostate. As you get close to orgasm, the prostate stimulation will start to feel way better than you ever thought it could. The first goal is just to have a blended orgasm while stimulating your prostate.
"Next time, do the same technique, but direct your attention even more to the sensations that are coming from your penis. Use stimulation of the penis to increase arousal, but as you get closer to orgasm, decrease or stop stimulating your penis and keep stimulating your prostate.
"Keep trying to edge yourself to orgasm, but stop stimulating your penis and try to get your prostate to be the one to push you over the hump. Instead of tensing, relax deeply and focus on your prostate and the sensations from stimulation. Do this enough that it gets you over the hump. Once you do, you’ll learn a completely different type of orgasm. It feels more like a full-body orgasm, and is very different than the kind you’ve had from penile stimulation.
"The more you do this, the more prostate stimulation you can apply, the more prostate orgasms you can have. To my surprise, what I’ve found is that after I have a prostate orgasm, my penis stays hard and is still responsive to sexual stimulation. If you continue to masturbate by touching your penis, you can immediately have another orgasm. Eventually, you can have more and more orgasms."
Maybe you don't want to have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms, but just want to shorten your refractory period. In that case, make sure you have optimal testosterone levels—it'll make your orgasms better, too.
"Low T is often thought of as an older man’s problem, but I see it in a significant portion of men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s," Stegall says.
Even if your sex drive isn’t particularly low, Stegall advises guys over 30 to get their T-levels checked with a blood test by a doctor who specializes in anti-
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Multiple Male Orgasm
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