Mother Teaches Son About Sex

Mother Teaches Son About Sex

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Countering "going to do it anyway."

I recently completed a graduate course in character education in which we were required to carry out an "action project." For my project I chose to use character-based sex education to try to instill in my younger sister and her friend the self-respect, self-control, and courage needed to lead moral, fulfilling, and healthy lives.
I wanted to inform my 14-year-old sister Kathy about something that I unfortunately just began to take seriously: abstinence. Sure, I have always known what the word meant, but I had never considered it an option for me, until recently. I felt that it was my responsibility to pass the philosophy of abstinence on to my sister because I know that she will not get it in the "going to do it anyway" program that is used at her high school. Also, she is a virgin (her friend is, too), so I wanted to show her how important it is to hold onto that purity.
I started these discussions when I accidentally overheard my sister Kathy, and her friend, Michelle, talking about a "slut" that one of their friends was dating. I asked them why they considered her a slut, and Michelle responded: "She has slept with at least eight guys already, and she is easy." I asked them to think about why this girl is so promiscuous. Kathy said, "She's trying to keep a boyfriend." They assumed that having sex was a way of holding onto a boyfriend and showing love for one another. They also assumed that condoms would protect them from disease and pregnancy and that having sex had no implications for their future adult lives. My goal was to dispel all these myths.
We first tackled the issue of sex as "showing love" or "keeping a boyfriend." I used the girl they were talking about as an example of how boyfriends come and go whether girls have intercourse with them or not. We also talked about girls' feelings when they are rejected after giving part of themselves to another person. I then told them about my having pre-marital sex, and how I wished these relationships had never occurred and that the only true way to find out if a guy loves you is to make him wait until marriage.

We talked about the self-respect and courage involved in leading sexually abstinent lives until marriage. These two young girls developed a new awareness of how truly loving relationships and commitments develop and are sustained. Their awareness was evident in their response to my disclosing that I recently told my boyfriend that I wanted to abstain from sex from now on and he said he could not do this. I asked Kathy and Michelle if they thought the relationship was worth continuing, and they both said, "No, he does not love you if he won't wait for you." I was proud of their answer.
I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine.
I also wanted to make these girls aware of the physical dangers of pre-marital sex. I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine. They were shocked to find out that this friend contracted herpes from sexual intercourse while using a condom. We considered the possible implications of such diseases: the inability to conceive a baby, passing on a sexual disease to your spouse, and transmitting a disease to your baby in the womb or during delivery.
Besides being more confident in their virginity, Kathy and Michelle have now set the personal goal of saving sex for marriage. They also no longer pick apart boys or girls who are sexually active by calling them "sluts" or "pimps" but instead focus on the deeper consequences of such behaviors and on what promiscuous girls and boys must be lacking in their lives.
My sister and Michelle have recently asked two of their friends to join us in our discussions. I've also shared my project with the parents of these girls. These parents are beginning to realize that abstinence-based sex education is more beneficial than the model now used at their daughters' high school.
A pdf version of this article is available here .
Jessica Burberry. "Teaching my younger sister about sex and love." excellence & ethics (Summer, 1998).
Reprinted with permission. Excellence & Ethics , published by the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs , is the education letter of the Smart & Good Schools Project. It features essays, research, and K-12 best practices that help school leaders, teachers, students, parents, and community members do their best work (performance character) and do the right thing (moral character).
excellence & ethics is published twice a year and may be subscribed to, without cost, here .
Jessica Burberry (a pseudonym) is a first-year elementary school teacher and a graduate student in education at SUNY Cortland.
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A woman in Nigeria has shocked many after she admitted of luring her only biological son to bear kids with her.
Mrs Veronica Lorshe, from Howe, Ugee Council Ward, Gwer East Local Government Area of Benue State admitted that she executed her devious plan to save her second marriage.
After losing her first husband in a tragic accident, the 47-year-old woman married Sebastian Iorshe, 44, whom after 8 years of marriage, they were still unable to get a baby.
“I am not a loose woman. I am just a woman who loves her husband very much and didn’t want to lose him.
“I did what I did to save my marriage, though I feel guilty about it. It was not easy but I slept with my first son from my first husband so that I could give my husband a child. But rather than sustaining my marriage, the plan has scattered it and I have lost it,’’ she revealed to local media.
“I started by buying good things for him, sleeping together on the same bed, playing with his manhood and gradually one thing led to another. There was a time I asked him if he had tested sex before and he said no. I compelled him to take an oath not to disclose it to anybody.
“I said I would teach him sex. I ensured that I did that during my ovulation period. I never disclosed the reason for this but deep in my mind, I wanted to test my fertility,’’ she continued.
A month later, she discovered that she was actually pregnant and decided to share the news with her husband, Sebastian.
When contacted by local media, Sebastian denied responsibility of the pregnancy quoting a medical report that revealed he had low sperm count and therefore could not father a child.
“I don’t want to believe the story she is narrating to you that her son is responsible for it, though I have not suspected her or seen any sign that an outsider was dating her.
“But the truth is that I’m not responsible for the pregnancy and will not allow her into my house. It is a shame for me to be associated with a mess like this,’’ he said.
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I stay with my mother’s sister. She is 39 years old. I am addicted to her, and her sight arouses me.
I am a 22-year-old guy. I stay with my mother’s sister. She is 39 years old. I am addicted to her, and her sight arouses me. When she sits down to cut vegetables, I get aroused seeing her breasts. I cannot stop myself. How do I approach her? I know it’s not good. I am a virgin and have never masturbated until now. So I want to experience the pleasure of sex with her. How do I do it?
You should stop whatever you are doing. If you do not do so, it may cause problems in the future. To enhance your knowledge of the subject read the book It’s Normal.
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Published: 00:57 GMT, 28 September 2014 | Updated: 00:57 GMT, 28 September 2014
Nicole Dufault, 34, is charged with the sexual of three male students and now prosecutors say they have video proof
A New Jersey high school teacher accused of sexually assaulting three 15-year-old boys in her car and at the school where she taught was even captured on video performing oral sex on one victim.
In investigating the allegations against mother-of-two Nicole Dufault, 34, authorities discovered the video and a piece of clothing she was wearing while searching her apartment.
Dufault is charged with several counts of aggravated sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child, NJ.com reported.
At least one other victim is supposedly present in the video.
Essex County Assistant Prosecutor Gina Iosim unveiled new details in the case Friday as the court heard a motion to reduce Dufault's $500,000 bail on the grounds she had no criminal record and longstanding community ties.
Her attorneys argued she had not even received a traffic ticket.
She is awaiting trial in Essex County jail.
The motion was denied by Superior Court Judge Michael R. Ravin.
He said the bail was reasonable given both the severity and number of charges, and added that the video meant the likelihood of conviction was very high.
Iosim also argued that Dufault had seen two prior complaints lodged against her at Columbia High School for 'lack of professionalism and her conduct.'
She was accused of having 'inappropriate sexual conversations in the classroom,' in one complaint.
She's also accused of lying about her work experience on her resume, listing one former employer where she never actually worked.
Dufault's attorney, Timothy Smith, has not said the video and said after the hearing he could not comment without seeing the new evidence.
He did say 'sometimes a video...doesn't tell the entire story
'If the video depicts certain things happening...that doesn't mean my client's not innocent,' he told NJ.com . 'For example, she could be the victim. People are victimized by juveniles all the time.'
Prosecutors in Essex County say that Dufault, who taught language arts at Columbia High School for nine years, assaulted the boys during the regular academic year and summer school between 2013-2014.
The encounters allegedly took place in the teacher's car and the school's campus in Maplewood, New Jersey, and included oral sex and intercourse, authorities charge.
She faces 12 separate charges. Each alleged victim was 15 at the time of the encounters.
Dufault's two minor children have been removed from her custody.
She only spoke briefly during the hearing, saying she was 'well' when asked by Ravin at the opening.
DuFault has been a language arts teacher for nine years at Columbia High School (pictured) in Maplewood, New Jersey. Prosecutors say some of the assaults happened in her car and on school property
Beyond the videotape, the state evidence reportedly includes statements from each of the five victims about their encounters with Dufault and witnesses that also 'witnessed her in sexual acts with others.'
Smith also tried to argue that Dufault should be released from the county jail as she has a 'horrific medical condition' of a shunt in her brain because of accumulated spinal fluid that can not be properly treated while incarcerated.
However Ravin did not see anything in the evidence leading him to believe the jail could not address her medical needs.
' I don't understand how someone can't pick up the clues for something like that or how any one of those kids would not have said something before now,' parent Jennifer Berkeley told WABC . 'It's really surprising to me.'
'They do background checks on the teachers, so I don’t understand,' another Columbia HS parent told CBS New York .
Dufault was arrested at her home on Wedneday. One neighbor, who's known the teacher for six years, was shocked to hear about the allegations.
'Seemed like a, you know, just an average mom going to work,' Maureen Messina told CBS New York.
'Not only did she destroy her life and her children, but the boys who are involved as well,' the neighbor added.
Dufault is being held at the Essex County Jail in lieu of $500,000 bail.
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