Mother Condom

Mother Condom

By Arpit Chhikara
Monday, April 27, 2020 - 11:52

Raghav's mother found a used condom wrapped in a newspaper while cleaning his room. There was an eerie silence in the room for a moment. He pretended to be asleep at that time. What happened next? Raghav shared his story with Love Matters India.

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Raghav, 31, works in a bank in Bhopal.
Poonam and I got married two years ago. Before she came to our family, there was only my mother and I. Dad passed away when I was in college. Mom stays at home with a domestic helper when Poonam and I go to work.
It was all going well. Then suddenly the lock-down happened.
Since our house help could no longer come home, we decided to take on one task each. Much against our wishes, Mom took up the cleaning duty saying, ‘Exercise ho jayegi . I will not miss my daily walks.’ Poonam was to be the cook. And I was the laundryman and the dishwasher.
We also stocked up on essentials, including lots of condoms .
With condoms, usually we had a bit of a routine. Since my mother usually emptied the household garbage bins, we used to wrap used condoms in a newspaper and kept them in our room till it was time for me to leave for work. Then on my way, I would drop them into the building’s common bin.
The first casualty of the lockdown was our condom disposal routine. With my mom in-charge of cleaning and garbage disposal duties, I had to think hard and fast.
So I made a plan. I told mom I’ll take care of the garbage duties. Thankfully, she agreed. Especially as I came up with an idea to dispose of the garbage without having to go down to the garbage truck. You see we live on the first floor. So I tied a rope to our dustbin’s handle and lowered it down when the garbage truck came. In that also went the used condoms!
My plan worked well for the next few days.
Poonam and I made love late that night. I wrapped the condom in a newspaper and left it in its usual place. But then got to work as I had an assignment to finish. I slept very late and woke up with the sound of someone sweeping the floor. I was immediately worried but pretended to be fast asleep.
True to my worry, mom found the used condom wrapped up in a newspaper lying under our bed. There was an eerie silence in the room for a moment. From the corner of my eye, I saw Mom open the newspaper and then immediately rush out of the room to throw her discovery in the dustbin in the common balcony. She said nothing but I felt as if I had been caught doing something wrong. ‘How could I be so careless!’, I cursed myself.
We went through the daily chores as if nothing had happened. Later that evening, after dinner, when mom had gone to sleep, I told Poonam about the incident.
Poonam laughed and said, ‘Wait, now I know why she wanted to switch duties this afternoon! She said she wanted to cook and wanted me to take up cleaning instead. All this time I was under the impression that she wasn’t liking my cooking! I am kind of relieved’, she said, laughing out louder!
‘Of course, mom knows we are having sex. That’s nothing to worry about!’ she continued.
‘In fact, just yesterday, when we were watching Ramayan, she asked if we were planning a baby. But then quickly added it would be better to not risk a pregnancy during this lockdown’.
‘Isn’t it ironic she found a condom in our room just the very next day!’ Poonam was now rolling on the bed with laughter.
She then sobered up and said, ‘But I believe that our personal life should remain private and we should be more careful with disposing our condoms’.
I agreed that we (or rather I) had been careless. Poonam suggested we keep a separate bin in our bathroom and I empty it regularly. ‘That’s a good idea. Let me do that now!’, I said. As I was setting up the new bin, I smiled about the sanskar and sex combination over which Poonam and my mother bonded. In our small family of three, we don’t have anything to hide from each other. I felt happy about it.
Next day, mom came and tapped me on the shoulder. ‘ Beta , please clear out the garbage bins. There are things in it I don’t wish to see,’ she said, and we all had a hearty laugh.
To protect the identity, the person in the picture is a model and names have been changed.
Have a story? Tell us on our Facebook page! If you have a query, please ask Love Matters (LM) experts on our discussion forum .
About the author: Arpit Chhikara loves to read, write, draw and take long walks while listening to podcasts. Besides writing on various themes related to SRHR, he also works in the alternative education domain. When not at home, you can find him living in lesser-known places in India. You can check him on Instagram .

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What Happened When My Mom Found A Condom… In MY Bag!
It was just a regular Sunday at home. I got up around noon, had breakfast in my pyjama with my eyes glued to the phone, while my mother complained about how I needed to be more responsible. My father told her to cut me some slack, after all, his little girl was working now, all she got was weekends to unwind. He then left to visit a friend, leaving me with my mother, who by now, had half of my almirah out and was asking me to arrange everything properly. ‘Mom! I can do this on my own! I am old enough!’ I whined. ‘You will never be old enough’, came the usual reply and I couldn’t help but giggle a little. ‘And look at how dirty this bag has become, take out all the stuff and put it in the wash!’ she said, passing me my huge tote bag which, I have to admit, really did need a wash.
I took out all my stuff – the multiple bills from the week before, two of my hair brushes, three notebooks, my makeup kit and all the scrunchies I thought I had lost – and handed it back to my mom because I was too lazy to get out of bed. ‘Did you check all the pockets properly?’ she asked. ‘Yes, I did, mom!’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Really? Then what is – ?’ my mother stopped mid-sentence looking at something that she had taken out from one of the bag’s multiple inner pockets. ‘What is it?’ I asked, I couldn’t see it from where I lay so I shifted to the edge of the bed to have a look at it and my heart sank. My mother found a condom in my bag and she was shocked!
I tried to find words to say something but it was like someone had glued my tongue to the roof of my mouth. All I could do was look at my mother’s face with a look of panic on mine. My parents might have known I was sexually active but this…this was proof, this was something they could not ignore even if they wanted to. Without a word, my mother left the room, leaving me guilt-ridden and fearful. What was going to happen? Were we going to talk about it? What will she say? Will we pretend this didn’t happen? My mind was racing with questions. I called up my then boyfriend and narrated the whole incident. He laughed for a while and then told me, ‘Relax, it’s just a condom, you can tell her it isn’t yours.’ Yes! I could do that! I could tell her one of my friends needed a condom so I kept it for her. Before my mom would come and ask me, I’ll just go and tell her. Problem solved. So I left my fortress of solitude and gathered courage to go and talk to my mom.
She was sitting on the sofa in the living room, the bag was sitting on top of the washing machine and I had no clue where the condom was. I slowly approached her from behind, ‘Mom, I…’ I began talking. ‘Sit down’, she said in a stern voice. ‘Are you getting physical with some guy?’ came the straight-forward question. I gulped, ‘No, mom…’. ‘If you’re going to lie, you should do that once your father returns’. My father? Was my mother really giving me the father threat? ‘I’m not lying. This is not mine, that day Sunaina wanted to get one but she was feeling shy so I went and bought one for her,’ I blurted out. ‘Sunaina, really? So this is what you girls do, buy condoms for each other?’ she asked.
‘I was just helping her, mom,’ I said. ‘Helping her? Do you know what happens when you sleep around with guys? Have you heard of pregnancy?’ my mom asked angrily. ‘Well, that’s kind of the point of a condom…’ I replied in a hushed tone. ‘I don’t want to discuss this with you anymore. No more night outs, especially not with Sunaina!’ she said and went to her room.
I was left feeling confused about this unfair treatment. I was over 18, there was nothing illegal about having sex with somebody. Also, I could not stop thinking about how poor Sunaina would have a tough time coming to my house now. The day went on with a tense awkwardness all around us, I made sure I had lunch an hour after my mother so I didn’t have to bump into her and feared the moment my dad would get back. It was only in the evening after both of us had our cup of tea (carefully spaced out) that she finally came to talk to me. ‘Listen…’ she said, ‘I think it’s time we have a conversation.’ I sat up straight and put my phone away, hoping my sincerity would make a difference. ‘If Sunaina is buying condoms then I am sure you are not far behind.’ I opened my mouth to argue but she held up her hand telling me not to interrupt. ‘In our culture, we don’t sleep with people before marriage, but we have to adapt to the changes in the society. So, first of all, make sure the man is up to your mark. Don’t go around in skimpy clothes with men who are stupid. Second, use protection.’ At this point, she put the condom back on the bed and got up to leave the room, I was stunned by the turn of this conversation and sat frozen, not sure what move might sabotage the whole situation. ‘And third…’ my mother turned around to look at me at the door, ‘Don’t let me find out about it again,’ and with that, she left.
I had no idea whether what I was feeling was relief, panic or just an uncontrollable urge to laugh out loud. Nevertheless, I did all the things my mother told me to do but most importantly, I always always kept my bag out of her reach.
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My oldest son is sixteen and has a girlfriend. How this happened, I have no idea. Didn’t I just bring that swaddled lump home from the hospital? Wasn’t it just yesterday that he was mooning over Blue’s Clues (and I was mooning over Steve Burns)? Wasn’t it just recently that the most stressful speck on the horizon of his childhood was signing him up for t-ball?
I blinked, though, and here he is—more man than boy, navigating his first teen romance.
I was sixteen when I had my first serious (okay, my first) boyfriend. My mother took me to the doctor to get a prescription for the Pill. Looking back, I now understand how difficult that must have been for her. I think the tendency for most parents is to want to keep our kids young and innocent. It’s painful letting go of them, step by step, watching them grow into their own lives and away from us. We dole out lectures and try to lay down rules meant to keep them safe, and if we are honest, meant to feed our illusion that we remain in control of the choices they will make.
As much as I’d like to keep my son young and safely tied up in my apron strings, I realize that it’s folly. He is growing up, and he is making his own choices more and more. The best I can hope for is that his dad and I have instilled in him the values that will dictate good decision-making on his part.
It was actually two of my close girlfriends who informed me one night over dinner that, now that my son had a girlfriend, and being of the age he is, it’s time to buy him some condoms and have that talk with him. Not the sex talk—the birth control talk, the protection talk. I was horrified. Although I remember what my own mother did for me, I wasn’t prepared to deal with this with my own children—let alone my son .
But the more I contemplated it, the more I realized that they were right. I could live in denial that my son was even thinking about sex; I could try to convince myself that his relationship with his girlfriend was innocent and platonic; I could close my eyes to the fact that when I was 16… But it was no use. The inner voice that spoke the loudest in my head was the one saying, “Yeah, and while you’re busy trying to fool yourself, he could be getting her knocked up. At sixteen.” And the imagined implications of that scared the daylights out of me. Two young lives potentially detoured irrevocably, forever.
I had the birth control talk with my son—a straightforward, brief monologue on my part which (hopefully) hid my wrecked nerves, while he stood with a stricken look on his face, very much like a deer in headlights. But even after the talk, I realized that, at whatever point in time he actually decided to become sexually active, it was highly unlikely that he would have the means or the nerve to procure condoms himself. And if one thing led to another, as they so often do…well, one time is all it would take.
The next time I went to Target, I had condoms on my mind. I couldn’t bring myself to go down that aisle, though. For the next few weeks, the condoms mocked me every time I ventured into Target. Eventually, I was able to casually push my cart down that aisle, glancing at the condoms in my peripheral vision as I glided by. Finally, a few days ago, I once again found myself at Target. “This is it,” I told myself. “This time, I’m doing it.”
I approached the aisle. I ventured a casual glance to see if anyone else was in the aisle; when I found it empty, I rolled my shopping cart down the linoleum and stopped in front of the condoms, and promptly began to hyperventilate. Words jumped out at me in neon script: “Pleasure Pack,” “Easy Glide,” “Ribbed for Her Pleasure,” “Fun Colors!” Holy mother of god! I don’t want to think about my son having fun! Or pleasure! “Don’t faint, don’t faint, just breathe, nice and easy…” I told myself. Finally, at the bottom of the display were the no-nonsense, plain condoms. How many to get, though? Crap! Six? Twelve? I finally decided on the economy pack of 36—not because I wanted him to have that much sex, but because I never wanted to find myself in this aisle on his behalf again.
I threw the box in with my paper towels and cereal and Pine Sol and diapers, and made my way to the front of the store to pay. My heart was thumping and I felt very close to tears—this was some kind of bizarre milestone in my childrearing career, for sure. Of course a twenty-something guy manned every open checkout lane, only recently out of high school themselves, no doubt. I briefly felt embarrassed about my loot, but I couldn’t worry about what the cashier might think for too long.
I deposited the box of condoms in my oldest son’s bathroom and sent him this email:
Up on a high shelf in the cabinet in your bathroom, you will find a bag. Inside the bag is a box of condoms.
I realize that just reading this will probably horrify you – your mom buying condoms for you?? Blech! I know. Believe me, it wasn’t any easier for me to buy them than it probably is for you to be reading this. However, as uncomfortable as it might make either of us feel, the fact is that you are of a certain age when things might happen, and because I love you so very much, and care so much about your well-being and your future, as a responsible parent, I have to ensure that you are protected.
This is not permission from Dad or me. Sex, as we have talked about before, is a huge responsibility with tremendous implications, and the truth is that it’s best left to adults. I hope you will wait. But to count on that would be unrealistic; I realize that you will make your own choices in this regard, just as I did when I was your age. The best I can do is to encourage you to make those choices with intelligence and respect, and armed with protection.
This is an informational video about how to use a condom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdSq2HB7jqU
We haven’t spoken of it since. He didn’t acknowledge my note, but I didn’t expect him to. Every once in a while, I catch a glimpse of that Target bag up on a high shelf in his bathroom cabinet. And I know I did the right thing.
This article was originally published on 6.18.2015

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