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Nikki Brooks in Step Mom can see my morning wood Mom 108072
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Love, Sex and Family
5 Blow Job Positions That Will Make Going Down On Him More Enjoyable For You By Alex Conrad | October 4, 2017

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2011-2022 Betches MEDIA LLC

I’ll be the first to admit that the thought of giving a blow job used to feel like a fucking chore. It’s that item at the bottom of your to-do list that you can get away with not doing, but probably should be done soon. Like, it never actually leaves, but somehow always gets checked off first—sort of like my last Tinder hookup. But since I’m supposed to be giving you better ways to enjoy sucking dick , while somehow convincing my mom that I’m still at least half a virgin, I’m here to tell you to sack up (pun intended), because dedicating your precious time to giving one blowie isn’t all that fucking bad. Maybe it’s just the type of savage friends I choose to surround myself with, but when I asked how often they give head, this was literally their response:
On one hand, *insert slow golf clap here*. But if you’re reading this and are one of those girls who thinks this doesn’t apply to you because you have a vagine of gold and you treat your guy to half-assed hand jobs on the reg, you’re the reason he cheats, but I guess also the reason I’m employed. That was harsh, but whatever. Giving a hand job is like giving someone a yellow Starburst. It’s always the last choice, but they’re not gonna not take it. So I’m here to save you the shitty comparison with easy positions that’ll make giving head suck a little less (srsly, killing these puns), because nobody wants to be compared to a yellow Starburst. Not even a fucking yellow Starburst.
It’s Sunday morning so, just guessing, you’re prob hungover and the last thing you care to think about is plowing your face into his junk before you can even press start on the Keurig. I get it. But while you’re lying there checking the likes on last night’s Instagram, his morning wood is begging to be sanded down, so because I’m the nice slut woman that I am, I’ll let you in on a secret: Surprising a guy with an earlybird BJ is a proven fact that you’ll get your way the entire rest of the week, but mostly a surefire way he won’t be personally victimized by your morning breath. All you need to do is prop a pillow on his stomach and lay sideways while resting your head on it. His dick will literally be staring you in the face, so you barely even have to move. This position is great for when you’re not entirely awake to give full-service head, but awake enough to not pass back out with a mouth full of peen.
No need to lie anymore—this is a safe place, so let it out, honey. Put it in the book: 69 fucking blows (now I’m just being annoying with the puns). It’s impossible to even concentrate when you’re trying to dodge any and all contact with raw asshole, and holding yourself up constitutes like, a 4-hour barre workout. The sideways 69 is a little less work and a lot less regret. Really all you need to do is lay on your sides in the opposite direction and go to town. He can even get crafty on your end and use a vibrator while you’re generously sampling the sausage. You know, like a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” kinda thing.
If you’re that “can’t keep it in your fucking pants” couple, this one’s for you. Your guy literally just needs to be sitting down while you’re sitting next to him. The next and final step is unzipping his pants and bending over—yeah, groundbreaking. Do it in a theater (for the love of the children, I hope you’re not doing this in a theater, you sick fuck), do it while he’s driving, the world is your bedroom. This position isn’t exactly the most innovative, but trust me—doing it in a taboo location will amp up the excitement and take the edge off whatever is so goddamn torturous about giving head. Just please don’t get arrested.
Life is just too damn short to agree to favors that don’t also benefit you in the process. That’s just my take on selfless acts of kindness, but to each their own. This position is probably the most advanced, but I included it because of its benefits. Like, think about it: Would you ever even consider taking a job in the real world without 401k benefits? Case closed. Start out by laying on your bed with your head slightly dangling off. Even though your mouth is fully occupied, it’s important to remember that you’re still in control of this ship (fucking duh). Use your hands to grab onto his thighs and guide him as you damn well please. From there, he has easy access to reach around and keep your vacant vagine some hard-earned company. It’s all really just the law of physics at this point, but if you failed that class, just keep going until he finishes or all the blood rushes to your head—basically whichever comes first.
So I realize now that this position is probably the reason for so many peoples’ utter disgust in giving out blowies, but it’s called a blow “job”, not a blow “piece of cake”. So here’s the thing: one of the only times a betch lets a guy exert his dominance is in the bedroom. All you have to do is abide by the rules of gravity. Lay flat on the bed, let him straddle your face, and well… Honestly, I know you’re not an idiot, so judging by the name of this position alone, need I go on?
Alex Conrad is an Orange County-based writer who prides herself in the art of pregaming and lives by the mantra, "If you can't tone it, tan it." When she's not scheming up how to get away with doing the bare minimum, she's probably attempting to justify her latest Target purchase to her husband. Follow her on Instagram @ayyycon_ for french bulldog spam but mostly just for validation.
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F emales, what was your first reaction the first time you saw an erect penis?

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I was shocked, in awe, very curious, and more than a little horny, due to the circumstances around the event.
S omething along the lines of "Wow, they get big don't they?"
I realized my perception of large was outrageous because i thought he was small and he was 10in (that perception has changed, LOL!!!)
I saw my brothers penis before but the first time I saw another boy's penis was when I was 13. He was my neighbor and we had been friends for a long time. We went for a walk and he said he had to pee really bad. We were like a half hour away from home so I said well just go ahead and pee. We went behind a store and he opened his pants and peed right there in front of me. I was fascinated and just stared at it. He got an erection and was embarrassed so he put it away quickly after he was done. We walked home and didn't say anything about it. Later that evening I went to his house and we sat in his back yard talking. He brought up the fact that I saw him with an erection and he said he was pretty embarrassed. I told him I liked it and he shouldn't be embarrassed. He asked if I wanted to see it again and I said yeah. He took me into his garage and showed it to me. He was erect by the time he took his pants down. It was really nice.
I fell in love with the first one I saw and have loved them ever since, especially if it is someones that you truly care about, I love the strength of them!!
W hen I was a girl of 13 one saturday monring my Mom told me to tell my 17 year old brother's lazy butt out of bed. Me and my girlfriend who had a huge crush on him opened his door to yell at him to get up. We opened the door and we was sound asleep laying on his back with his morning wood poking up through his boxers. My girlfriend almost screamed and got the biggest smile on her face. We quickly shut the door and ran into my room. She said, "We just saw your brothers erect penis!" She turned bright red and said I want to see it again. We went back over to the door and quitly opened it up. He was snoring and his penis was still in full view. We just stood at the door for what seemed like and hour and stared at it. Then my girlfriend snuck in the room and got a close up look. She just stood there staring at my brothers penis. I have to admit that it was pretty exciting. I'd never seen a grown up boys dick before and here was one fully erect. Since then I've been told that maybe my brother knew about it and wanted us to look at it. I don't know we was snoring pretty loudly. Even now when I think about it I get butterflies in my stomch and I'm a grown woman. I can't help but say penis, penis penis!!!!!!
I am a female 19, when I was 14 I have a 16year old Brother.My friends are always talking about erected
penis, I was so anxious to see one. One day my brother was in the bath room. I heard the sond he is bathing.
I was peeping thru the key hole. I was shocked., the first time in my life i have seen an erected penis.
I was become HOT, I become WET. I was looking it about 10 minutes. I still remember that.
T he first time my sister saw an erection was when she walked in on me in the shower. I had a huge hard on and she just stared. It was awkward but we got over it. She asked to see it the next day so I showed her. Then i jerked off for her. This was when she was about 13. I was 14 or 15.
I was 12, at my friend's house. We were both curious about boys. Her older brother (14) came home and we started asking him questions about what boys look like, what it's like to have balls and stuff. He seemed embarrassed by our questions. Then I just boldly blurted out "Can I see your thing?" His face turned beet red and he tried to change the subject. I kept pushing it. "Come on, let us see it, or I'll kick you in the balls." Then I jumped on him and told my friend to help me hold him down. I noticed he had a bulge in his pants. As we wrestled him, his pants started to come down (they were loose) and I saw the top of his little ass. I said "Are you going to let us see everything, or do we have to beat you up?" He gave up and said we can see it, but we couldn't tell anyone else. When I saw it, I was pleasantly surprised. It was cute. I reached over and touched it. It was very hard. I started to play with it and, you guessed it, he shot his boy juice right at me. I acted disguted and said "gross" but I secretly liked it. When he and his sister weren't looking, I tasted it and liked it. After that, i had occasion to see his thing a few more times. I miss those days.
I was 12 and my neighbor 15. I had a crush on him and one day we were hiking in the canyon, when he excused himself because he had to piss. I asked if I could watch. He seemed embarrassed but was willing. I was mezmorized and arroused at the sight of his big beautiful penis. It was circumcised with big knob and veiny. It was the size of an adult man's penis. It made me so wet, especially when he let me hold it and he got arroused and erect. Next day, we fondled each other and I made him spurt his warm semen wildly. He jacked it right square onto my p*ssy hair. It was awesome!
M y younger brother and I are only a year apart and when we were like 7 and 8, I always noticed that he awoke with an erection every morning and would have to stand literally about 3 feet back from the front of the toilet to piss before his hard-on went down. This made me very curious about the male penis, so one morning I made a deal with him and would show him my p*ssy if he let me reach into his pajamas and touch and play with his penis. He was such a good brother and let me. He loved the way I made him feel, then showed me how to j*ck him off. He still got the climax sensation even at age 7, but no man juice until he was about 12. We continued this into our teens...
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