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In the early Sixties, around the time he began starring in The Saint , Roger Moore often represented himself to interviewers as a diffident man in private life, quite unlike the assertive, heroic figures he played on screen.
Some time in the mid- to late Sixties, he gave his date a public spanking in a swanky London restaurant.
I heard the story, decades later, from two different sources: the girl’s subsequent boyfriend, who told the tale online, and privately from someone who was in the eatery at the time and actually saw the spanking.
Apparently the girl was being cheeky and deliberately trying to provoke Moore into doing something, and was more than satisfied with what she got. As for the onlookers, it may have been a splendid spectacle, but it was also no big deal: it was only the Saint spanking another dolly bird.
At this point I like to imagine Moore, with his date still struggling across his knee, looking skyward for the animated halo which would appear above his head in these moments of recognition early in every episode of the television series.
What I’m getting at is that each of these points of view, the girl eagerly hoping to be spanked and the eye-witness who took it in his stride, both attest to Moore’s public image after a few years of playing Simon Templar. He may, for all we know, still have been a mild-mannered Clark Kent at home, but in public he could be just as much the dominant male as he was on TV. And we have already seen how assiduously that was being cultivated in the first three series .
For the fourth series, shown in 1966-67, The Saint went into color, largely for reasons of international sales and future-proofing, as everybody in Britain was still watching in black-and-white until 1969. At this point, they also started to run out of Leslie Charteris stories to adapt; the last of the Charteris-penned Saint books, The Saint in the Sun , came out in 1963. That meant doing more original scripts, starting with the very first color episode, ‘The Queen’s Ransom’ (September 30, 1966) – though the word ‘original’ is perhaps a slight exaggeration when applied to a story in which the Saint has to undertake a cross-country trek in the company of a rich young woman, Queen Adana (Dawn Addams), who needs to learn a few things about life.
Yes, it’s a partial rerun of ‘ The Golden Journey ’, with an additional political intrigue plot and, regrettably, minus any spanking. And that makes it a second lucky escape for Dawn Addams!
(She was, however, spanked in a production of The Little Hut at Richmond Theatre in 1970.)
The new series featured so much incidental spanking and smacking that, for the sake of variety, the writers had to be more than usually inventive with the dialog: the direct approach of ‘give her a spanking’ or ‘I’ll put you across my knee’ were no longer distinctive enough, so we shall be encountering a few colorful turns of phrase. At the same time, we’ll see actions that speak louder than words, where it’s obvious that Templar plans to spank a girl without any need to say so in explicit terms. And, of course, there’ll be a few actual spankings, not always where expected.
Naturally many of the stories featured spoiled or otherwise difficult young women, but even so, not all of them went anywhere near what we might like to imagine was the inevitable fate of that kind of character. One who was at least explicitly identified as needing a good spanking is the American politician’s daughter Cathy Allardyce, played by Quinn O’Hara:
She’s the girl of the week in ‘Interlude in Venice’ (October 7, 1966), in which the Saint makes her acquaintance after rescuing her from the unwelcome advances of a local thug. It emerges that Cathy is on a grand tour of Europe with her family, and has developed the habit of trying to pick up dubious young men, with not always happy results. This causes especial tension with her stepmother Helen,
who’s played by Lois Maxwell, best known as the original Miss Moneypenny, whom James Bond threatened to spank in Thunderball . But this time she’s on the other side of the situation. Helen, self-styled as a ‘heavy-handed stepmother’, describes Cathy as an ‘insolent little brat’ and goes so far as to slap her face in an early scene. After that, Cathy is chided by her father:
ALLARDYCE: Helen’s only trying to do what’s best for you.
CATHY: She’d like to take a hairbrush to me.
ALLARDYCE: So would I, sometimes. Except it seems a little late right now.
Cathy promises to make herself more agreeable, and then we go into the story proper, in which her continuing promiscuous tendencies put her in a compromising position, engineered in pursuance of a vendetta against her father. But no stepmotherly hairbrush descends, not least because Helen turns out to be the one behind the whole thing.
From Venice to Rome and ‘The Man Who Liked Lions’ (November 18, 1966), in which the Saint, on the track of a murderer, encounters the exhibited painter Claudia Molinelli (Suzanne Lloyd).
She was in love with the dead man, but holds out on Templar when he questions her, and it turns out that the neo-fascist villain is none other than the patron and mentor who has been furthering her career, Tiberio Magadino. ‘Claudia,’ says the Saint, ‘I’ll give you ten seconds, and if nothing is forthcoming, I shall place a few well-deserved whacks on that delectable posterior of yours.’ She takes the prospect of a spanking very calmly, simply opening a drawer to get out something that will enable her response:
‘My,’ says Templar, ‘the party is warming up.’ But the pistol is not fired and the delectable posterior is not warmed up – nor indeed properly seen, as throughout the episode she consistently wears a selection of elegant dresses. It later turns out that she’s not an altogether bad girl, either: she’s after Tiberio to avenge the death of her father, and was just being unwisely cagey. But though Signora Molinelli can relax, Suzanne Lloyd had better not…
In ‘The Persistent Patriots’ (January 6, 1967), Jack Liskard, the right-wing nationalist leader of an African colony negotiating its independence from Britain, is being blackmailed over some compromising letters he sent to a young woman, Mary Bannerman, played by Jan Waters,
who had a fullscale spanking coming to her onstage in 1968 , and is headed for a small foretaste right now.
Asked to investigate, the Saint visits Mary, who tells him that the letters were stolen from her home in a recent burglary. That’s a lie (the burglary was an insurance fraud), and it turns out that she gave them to Liskard’s political opponents for use in a plot to discredit him. She switches sides when it escalates to an assassination attempt which puts Liskard into hospital, and helps Templar in a ruse to foil the villains, which entails her posing as a nurse. Her reward is to be kept out of the criminal prosecution that inevitably follows, but at the very end of the episode she does get…
It’s as playful and flirtatious as in ‘The Bunco Artists’ in the b/w series, but the pronounced sound effect also shows that it was rather hard!
Another hard one coming up in the very next episode, ‘The Fast Women’ (January 13, 1967), about the rivalry between two female racing drivers, one English and the other Italian. The latter is Teresa Montesino, played by Kate O’Mara.
The English half of the feud, Cynthia Quillin, asks the Saint to get rid of her, but he does it by taking her out rather than, as intended, putting her into her grave. But Teresa has murderous thoughts of her own, and asks Templar to dispose of Cynthia. When he refuses, she slaps his face, losing her bracelet in the process.
She goes to retrieve it, and thereby makes the mistake of bending over in front of the Saint!
The point of this is to set up Teresa as the number one suspect when somebody does attempt to murder Cynthia. But this is The Saint , in which bad girls are never quite that bad…
Things start to get more serious in ‘The Art Collectors’ (January 27, 1967), one of a brace of episodes set in Paris, in which the Saint foils the kidnapping of the standoffish White Russian aristocrat Natasha Ivanova, played by Ann Bell.
And she’ll be coming closer to a good spanking than any girl of the week we’ve met since Belinda Deane in ‘The Golden Journey’.
She is the lucky owner of three hitherto unknown paintings by Leonardo da Vinci, which she wants to sell to a dealer and the crooks want to purloin. After Templar foils them a second time, a policeman persuades him that Natasha is not all that she claims to be, then incapacitates him with a crack on the head and goes off to persuade Natasha that Templar is not all that he claims to be, and takes the pictures into custody. He is, of course, a phony policeman, convincing enough for Natasha to feel she is in real danger when the Saint unexpectedly turns up back her chateau and offers her a light.
She backs away from him, calling him a killer, and when Templar tells her the truth of what happened, and calls her a silly girl, she rages at him: ‘This is your fault – all of it!’
And with that, the Saint becomes the target for various objets d’art thrown in anger.
She manages to soak the front of her dress when she picks up a vase of roses for the same purpose:
And then, with a firm ‘That does it,’ the Saint goes into action to deal with her.
There’s a brisk chase around the sofa… but then Templar sits down and lets her wear herself out with throwing yet more things, until the flex of an electric lamp trips her up,
and she is left weeping with impotent fury into a cushioned stool.
This is instantly dispelled when the Saint shows her the paintings, which aren’t in fake police custody after all. Rage turns to kisses, and the volatile Natasha is out of danger. Or at least her rear end is…
Now, ‘The Golden Journey’, this isn’t. Ultimately it’s only a minor, passing moment in which the prospect of a spanking flits delicately across the action and then disappears, even before the tantrum is over. What’s interesting about it is that sheer delicacy, the way nothing needs to be directly said or shown for it to be completely obvious that, just for a moment, the Saint intends to spank her.
And should there be any residual skepticism about that, let’s ward it off by turning to a very similar sequence in the very next episode, ‘To Kill a Saint’ (February 24, 1967). Once again, the intention is signified only elliptically, when the Saint claps his hands together like this:
The object of his attention is Annette, without surname, played by another Annette, surnamed Andre:
Here’s what she’ll be wearing in the relevant sequence:
She appears to be implicated in a series of attempts on the Saint’s life; so when he arrives back at his hotel room to find her rifling through the drawers, he makes a point of giving her a startle.
‘Is this your profession or your hobby?’ he asks her. And when she won’t answer he wryly diagnoses lockjaw. ‘Well, let’s see if’ (the smack of hands together signifying an imminent spanking) ‘will loosen it up.’
‘Oh, no!’ she says, evidently knowing exactly what she has coming to her. ‘Please don’t…’ And she tries to make her escape across the bed.
Templar intercepts her, carries her bodily across to the sofa,
‘No, no, don’t!’ she pleads as he raises his hand to spank her, and weeps into the padded arm of the sofa.
‘Why the tears?’ asks the Saint. ‘You haven’t been hit yet.’
‘I deserve it,’ she says ruefully. ‘I am very silly, stupid and childish.’
And if those things are an excellent reason for spanking her, the frank admission is a pretty good reason for letting her off.
H proceeds to interrogate her while she’s still over his knee, eliciting the further admission that she did shoot at him, before surprising her with his knowledge that she was only using blanks.
She tells him that she didn’t want to hurt him – just make him very angry. She has been ‘moderately successful’, he says, but then proceeds to pitch her off his lap onto the floor and a conveniently placed cushion.
And then it all comes out: seeking revenge on Paul Verrier, a local nightclub owner who killed her father, she was trying to make Templar think Verrier was behind the murder attempts, and induce him to respond in kind. And so the Saint steps in and sees justice done, only in a more heroic way.
The second of the two shots that make up the OTK sequence was used in a contemporary trailer, intercut with Templar dealing with a gunman.
‘Whether it’s girls or guns,’ enthused the commentator, ‘the Saint can handle the situation.’
But it’s not always the Saint handling the situation and manhandling the ladies, as we see in the next relevant episode, ‘Simon and Delilah’ (March 24, 1967). This time the Saint is in Rome, visiting a film studio where they are making one of those European ‘sword and sandal’ epics that were popular in the 1960s, like this one starring none other than Roger Moore:
The fictional movie in question is Sampson and Delilah , starring the spoilt and tempestuous American actress Serena Harris, played by none other than Suzanne Lloyd of the allegedly delectable but so far unspanked posterior:
One thing there is about to change…
The story concerns the kidnapping of Serena by a couple of ‘Shaddapa you face’ gangsters, shortly after she has thrown a tantrum on set and stormed off into her trailer – meaning she spends the whole episode in costume as Delilah.
The kidnapping is pathetically straightforward: one of the caricatured crooks simply drives the trailer away while the other, Sergio (John Collin), holds her and her current squeeze at gunpoint. When she protests, he tells her to shut up, which simply induces her to throw something at him. And so he grabs her, bends her over his knee and… SMACK!
‘You hit me!’ says the astonished and outraged Serena. ‘You want more?’ asks Sergio. She looks to her companion for protection, and he feebly remonstrates, but Sergio is unimpressed: ‘I hit women lots of times,’ he says; ‘They like!’
Serena no like, but luckily for her the Saint gets her back before she earns herself any more.
There’s a shift of emphasis here, in that the Saint is not the one who initiates, threatens or administers the spanking, but rather the one who rescues the girl in distress from the villain who spanked her. The spanking isn’t an element of his villainy: like the scenes in ‘The Fast Women’ and ‘To Kill a Saint’, it was one of the highlights selected for inclusion in the episode’s original trailer, so it’s evidently something the audience was expected to enjoy seeing. But it’s also something that no longer defines the upstanding hero in quite the same way.
And when The Saint returned for a fifth and final series, with a new, lighter theme tune, Simon Templar remained the masterful male he had always been, but there was a marked reduction in the spanking content. The decade’s change of taste seems to have caught up with the show: the Saint doesn’t threaten, smack or spank anyone this time round, and relevant material is found in just one episode, ‘The Scales of Justice’ (December 1, 1968), where it’s almost completely incidental. But even so, it isn’t a mere threat or smack, but something close to an actual spanking…
Forget the plot, about a vengeful scheme to bump off, one by one, a London company’s entire board of directors and make it look like heart failure. Forget the girl of the week, city magnate’s daughter Anne Kirby, played by Jean Marsh. Her father is one of the victims to be targeted, with the assassination expected to be attempted during his ceremonial inauguration as Lord Mayor of London. The event goes ahead with all the traditional festivities and street pageants on processional floats, with groups of performers presenting the whole of human history from the shiny, silvery future all the way back to fur-clad cavemen.
And cavemen, as we know , have a certain reputation – meaning the cavegirl not only gets carried over the shoulder, but whacked across the bottom with another cave-dweller’s oversized club, and gives out a lovely yelp that was added in Foley.
But all is not entirely as it seems: we’re not watching the inauguration of Lord Mayor Gilbert Kirby at all, but that of Sir Gilbert Inglefield. He became Lord Mayor in 1967 and insisted that he should be sworn in on November 11 with a parade that was more ‘fun’ than usual, stipulating in particular that he wanted some mini-skirted girls in the procession. Stock footage of the event was supplied by Pathé, sadly without any of the encounters between the mini-skirted girls and what one reporter called the ‘flirtatious’ wind, and it was liberally used in the Saint scene, especially to supply all the shots with large crowds, which were impractical for the television company to stage.
So the cavegirl’s OTS club spanking, the very last spanking in The Saint … wasn’t actually shot for the series at all!
(Judging by where they came in the procession, they seem to have been students from London’s City University. You can see the original Pathé footage here .)
Maybe you are leading up to the saucy over-the-shoulder spanking in this?
It’s not what I was leading up to, but for those who enjoy OTS the film is a treat, with an extended 4-minute sequence halfway through, so thank you for supplying the link. There’s also a faux-TK moment at 52m 56s with an unconscious captive over a rider’s saddle-bow.
The reason I wasn’t leading up to it is simply that the film doesn’t contain anything that, as a purist, I would count as a spanking.
At the moment you have in mind, one of the Romans has slung one of the Sabine women over his shoulder in the course of the abduction, and smacks her incidentally on the bottom. That’s nice to see (if you want to do so without watching the rest of the film, go directly to 46m 20s, almost exactly the midpoint), but it’s not the kind of specific, purposive act that, for me, constitutes a spanking.
I’ve said it before and it is worth saying again and again: if we use the word spanking broadly to refer to any smack on the bottom, then we devalue our own lexical currency.
My lovely bride and I are “of a certain age,” and so we remember well and fondly from our childhood and youth the ubiquity of television programs and movies depicting salutary spankings of deserving women by, in most cases, the men who loved them. To say these depictions made an impression upon us both would be to trade in understatement. When we were blessed to meet 30 years ago, the discovery, on our third date, that we shared those fond memories – to say nothing of sharing the inclinations of those spanked women and spanking men – sealed our happy future together.
Your blog is a real source of enjoyment for us, often in the vein of nostalgia but, now and then – with some of your more obscure examples – fresh discovery. Despite the wide availability of more explicit spanking content these days, these quaint
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