Monogamish Relationship
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Let’s see if we can describe it emotionally.
There is a person with whom I have a deep, strong, long-lasting, and mutually satisfying emotional attachment. This is the only person I feel this way about. I and the only person that s/he feels this way about. We might or might not share living quarters, meals, budget, friends, jobs, or try to fulfill each other’s (or our own) sexual desires.
I would call that monogamy. There is only one strong (primary) emotional partnership. It is mutual. It is exclusive.
For most people though, sex is the “big thing.” They describe their situation as monogamous ev
Let’s see if we can describe it emotionally.
There is a person with whom I have a deep, strong, long-lasting, and mutually satisfying emotional attachment. This is the only person I feel this way about. I and the only person that s/he feels this way about. We might or might not share living quarters, meals, budget, friends, jobs, or try to fulfill each other’s (or our own) sexual desires.
I would call that monogamy. There is only one strong (primary) emotional partnership. It is mutual. It is exclusive.
For most people though, sex is the “big thing.” They describe their situation as monogamous even though they share strong emotional ties with others, live apart, raise other people’s children, a have separate budgets. They would never describe the converse—a situation where sex is openly not exclusive but all those other things are—as monogamous.
If people are only lightly emotionally entwined, whether or not sexually active with each other, we call this “dating.” If the pairing splits, gets sexually active with others, and repeats, we call that “serial monogamy.”
But really (at least for me) it’s about exclusivity. Emotional and sexual. The exclusivity got in the way of my being honest with the woman I care most about. So we chose honesty. Please choose the thing that makes you a better person for the one(s) you most love.
What is the meaning of a monogamous relationship?
How would you define love in a monogamous relationship?
Why are current relationships monogamous?
What is a committed non-monogamous relationship?
Literally, it originally meant one marriage (of two people). At one point that meant “one marriage per lifetime”. Today for most people it’s about two people who agree not to have sex or serious emotional involvement with anyone else so long as they are together (“serial monogamy”), whether or not they are legally married to each other.
Monogamy is more defined by what is “excluded” than what is included; a couple can still be considered monogamous (and “faithful”) even if they stop being sexual with each other, or stop relating romantically or lovingly - so long as they also refrain from havin
Literally, it originally meant one marriage (of two people). At one point that meant “one marriage per lifetime”. Today for most people it’s about two people who agree not to have sex or serious emotional involvement with anyone else so long as they are together (“serial monogamy”), whether or not they are legally married to each other.
Monogamy is more defined by what is “excluded” than what is included; a couple can still be considered monogamous (and “faithful”) even if they stop being sexual with each other, or stop relating romantically or lovingly - so long as they also refrain from having sexual or romantic bonds with anybody else. That is, monogamy does not imply that one is currently including sex and emotional intimacy with a partner, only that one is excluding any sex or intimacy with anybody else.
Of course, sexual and emotional monogamy are not always in sync. One might be sexually exclusive but still have deep emotional relationships with others, or vice versa. Some people discuss their sexual and emotional exclusivity as separate items. Many recreational swingers consider themselves emotionally monogamous, with a limited exception to the conventional sexual exclusivity expectations.
Each of these aspects is also fuzzy. What degree of sexual behavior is not OK? What is the level of emotional intimacy which would be considered transgressive? Does the gender of the third party matter? That very much depends on the individuals involved, there is no universally agreed upon hard boundary. There is also a difference between upsetting someone and breaking an agreement (ie: one may agree to never to X or Y, but not that one will never do anything which is in any way uncomfortable to the other; sometimes we agree on the level of discomfort we are willing to accept).
Make no assumptions - if you are discussing monogamy, check carefully what each of you consider monogamy to involve, what it allows and does not allow. Make it a personal agreement between you, do not rely on some concept of what “society” considers monogamy because each of you may have different ideas of what that is - and different needs. If either party wants something different, approach that as equals sorting out differences, rather than trying to impose a societal expectation as a form of moral high ground.
And be at least open to talking about changing your arrangements, allowing more or less, if you can find a new agreement that serves your evolving needs over the years. (This is very true for polyamory as well, but polyamorists are more aware of the need to create evolving and customized relationships rather than assuming a given pattern). For example, over time one might become more concerned or more relaxed about “just flirting”, and it’s best to discuss that rather than creating an explosion of failed assumptions or expectations.
There is hardly any consideration to this. Intimate declared relationships should ABSOLUTELY be monogamous.
As it is a reality that anything much other than this is a dissolution of the individual's involved.
Take a bank loan example; say you buy a boat with a bank loan, pay with your own money, there is an option wherein late payments, etc are not held against your credit record, but anybody, as in people you have never met, can take the boat out and use it, etc….the bank doesnt care about reclaiming the boat for late payments, it is much more likely now degraded in value. You shouldn't have me
There is hardly any consideration to this. Intimate declared relationships should ABSOLUTELY be monogamous.
As it is a reality that anything much other than this is a dissolution of the individual's involved.
Take a bank loan example; say you buy a boat with a bank loan, pay with your own money, there is an option wherein late payments, etc are not held against your credit record, but anybody, as in people you have never met, can take the boat out and use it, etc….the bank doesnt care about reclaiming the boat for late payments, it is much more likely now degraded in value. You shouldn't have me seen as making a metaphor of relationships in terms of ownership, that is not the tack. You don't pay for relationships with money, but with yourself. That is the value return, anything else is abstract prostitution.
There is an answer here by a male with same-sex preference. They write excellent, excellent answers but I have never been able to read their content regarding sex; as their expectation by standard dictate is always overbearing, I imagine this is in regards to their entry standard of the society they developed their coping strategy in. Male-male lovers are biologically open to be much more adventurous, as a man can make 100 babies in a week, and the fairer sex only 1 per anum. It really is an entirely different lifestyle, but as a contractor, I have seen monogamous relationships of this kind as the most fruitful, where it seemed if they had extracurricular fun outside the relationship they did it together more than likely, I would guess. Everybody is different.
I know males who have swinger-sex-addicted SO's in a hetero relationship and they are a shell of their rightful selves. It is difficult, as the maneuvering requires social understanding extended beyond their personal relationship which is indecent...spread abroad.
If you are hetero, and there is 97% chance you are, you are being irresponsible with your substance on 100 different levels if either you or you partner allows either party to sexually socialize. We are social creatures, and must have a standard bearing to actually learn to be our best selves. And handing out all your goods is not the manner wherein the best value is sustained. We were not made this way.
Defining ‘monogamy’ is tricky for the same reason that defining lots of things is tricky — because the word means different things to different people.
For instance, in anthropology it generally means “one marriage partner”. In zoology it may mean “mates once for life”.
What people usually mean is that their relationship has a rule that neither person in the relationship can have sex with anyone else. This is sometimes referred to as “serial monogamy”. But even this is a little fuzzy, because not everyone agrees on how to define “sex”, and even when they do they will often include things that ar
Defining ‘monogamy’ is tricky for the same reason that defining lots of things is tricky — because the word means different things to different people.
For instance, in anthropology it generally means “one marriage partner”. In zoology it may mean “mates once for life”.
What people usually mean is that their relationship has a rule that neither person in the relationship can have sex with anyone else. This is sometimes referred to as “serial monogamy”. But even this is a little fuzzy, because not everyone agrees on how to define “sex”, and even when they do they will often include things that are clearly not sex as being things that break the rules.
Because of this, I strongly recommend that when two people decide that they want a monogamous relationship with each other, they don't just use that word and expect everything to be perfectly clear. Take the time to have a slightly longer conversation about what is actually outside the rules. This may feel a little uncomfortable and unromantic, but it can help avoid serious misunderstandings and future problems.
What is the definition of a monogamous relationship?
Why are monogamous relationships the norm?
What does it mean to be monogamous?
What is a monogamous relationship? When did it become the norm?
We’re talking about sexual/romantic relationships, I assume? I believe that such relationships should be what the (of age, informed, consenting) participants want them to be. As far as monogamy goes, they do need to be on the same page, up front. A relationship where one party wants to be monogamous and the other doesn’t is bound to fail sooner rather than later. However, if both agree that polyamory is for them, then that is their business. If they both agree to be each other’s one-and-only, that is also their business.
Relationships should be what the people involved want them to be. There is nothing wrong with a polygamist relationship if all people involved agree to it. There is nothing wrong with a polyandrous relationship if all people involved agree to it. There is nothing wrong with an “open” or swingers' relationship if both partners agree to it.
Caveat: most polygamist relationships are coercive, and thus not okay.
If you and your partner agree to a monogamous relationship, you are obligated to conform to your agreement.
No one can be all things to any one person. My SO doesn’t get my best jokes. I like esoteric puns and obscure references. He likes the Stooges. So every few weeks I spend a day with an old co-worker whose mind works like mine. And SO hangs with his favorite pranksters. It’s great. I don’t try to explain stuff he isn’t going to find amusing anyway, and he doesn’t have to keep saying, “it’s funny. Lighten up.” Instead we spend our time together on things we both enjoy.
Does he resent my quick-tongued buddy? No. Do I wish he would play frat jock with me instead of his friends that get it? No.
No one can be all things to any one person. My SO doesn’t get my best jokes. I like esoteric puns and obscure references. He likes the Stooges. So every few weeks I spend a day with an old co-worker whose mind works like mine. And SO hangs with his favorite pranksters. It’s great. I don’t try to explain stuff he isn’t going to find amusing anyway, and he doesn’t have to keep saying, “it’s funny. Lighten up.” Instead we spend our time together on things we both enjoy.
Does he resent my quick-tongued buddy? No. Do I wish he would play frat jock with me instead of his friends that get it? No.
Sex is just another form of intimacy. We are fans, but it isn’t the most important thing in our relationship. Still, I can see how someone else might look elsewhere for something they need and aren’t getting. Who am I to judge? It’s between them. If a bit of strange makes you both stronger, go for it.
I believe my relationships should be. That is what works for me.
Other people should do what works for them. My only opinion is that infidelity is incredibly painful, and so ethical non-monogamy seems the better choice.
Compatibility? I know that I can be in one and be more than just content but happily as well if, I have a genuine connection and physical chemistry with that person. My partner would have to be on my level in terms of meeting my needs and vice versa. I don’t know why some foreign men put so much stock into their wives being virgins when they behave in such perverted ways lol.
To be honest, I need my partner to be a slut in bed with me and to tell me how much of one she is for me. If she can behave like one and tell me how much she is one, for me that is, we’re good and she’ll never have to worr
Compatibility? I know that I can be in one and be more than just content but happily as well if, I have a genuine connection and physical chemistry with that person. My partner would have to be on my level in terms of meeting my needs and vice versa. I don’t know why some foreign men put so much stock into their wives being virgins when they behave in such perverted ways lol.
To be honest, I need my partner to be a slut in bed with me and to tell me how much of one she is for me. If she can behave like one and tell me how much she is one, for me that is, we’re good and she’ll never have to worry about me
The path most likely to produce happiness is one that leads to a photo being taken on your 50th Wedding anniversary of your whole family. To be monogamous puts you closer to that goal.
Yes if that's what they planned and expect. But if they decided to not be than that's how it turns out inevitably. Most can not withstand the open relationship. When your not monogamous with your partner it shows them their not your one and only. Your partner then lashes out feeling in comparison with the other. Jealous ugly rage continues, no trust will ever exist again and so on. An ugly path.
What is the meaning of a monogamous relationship?
How would you define love in a monogamous relationship?
Why are current relationships monogamous?
What is a committed non-monogamous relationship?
What is the definition of a monogamous relationship?
Why are monogamous relationships the norm?
What does it mean to be monogamous?
What is a monogamous relationship? When did it become the norm?
What is the science behind a monogamous relationship?
What percentage of relationships are monogamous?
What’s something that sucks about being in a monogamous relationship?
How do I understand monogamous relationships?
Are non-serious monogamous relationships doable?
What is the meaning of a monogamous relationship?
How would you define love in a monogamous relationship?
Why are current relationships monogamous?
What is a committed non-monogamous relationship?
What is the definition of a monogamous relationship?
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Before I dish out sh*t I really want to talk about, I’d like to clear one thing up. Last week in my post, 4 Reasons I Started Myself Out Loud, I referenced going on a date with a girl though I was already in a committed relationship. While most people understood what that means for me and my partner, there was some confusion as to whether I was or am cheating. If you wondered that yourself, let me be clear. The answer is Hell No.
I love that guy. I love him with all of me. I love him more and more with each passing day. Our relationship may not be as typical and out of the box as others but what we have is something I am beyond grateful for. It took a lot of work to get here.
We used to call ourselves “polyamorous” and then we just started saying “open”. Now that the newness of it has faded and we’re passed the more experimental stage, I’d call us Monogamish if I had to label it. Call it what you want, I think of it simply as our relationship.
We’ve grown more comfortable talking about it. We’ve warmed up to the fact that some people will form their opinion of us based on this. They’ll think we’re weird.. They’ll think we’re swingers.. They’ll think we’re doomed. Some people have taken the opposite perspective and told us this is just a phase — it will pass. Some people have flat out told us they don’t want this for us. Whatever the perspective, we’re ok with it.
But it didn’t use to be this way. Getting to the point of discussing what “open” means to us was challenging. We didn’t jump into this alternative relationship gung-ho, thinking we’re going to appear so cool, new age and progressive. It wasn’t a decision we made lightly. Becoming comfortable with all this was a long and arduous process. We even solicited the help of a therapist who specialized in open relationships. Thank goodness we did.
Curious to know more? Then I’ll start from the beginning.
Bisexual. Who doesn’t love a good label? The process of accepting my sexuality was a hard journey on its own. I’ll save that story for another time. What I will say is this. I had no idea what would surface when I opened up to my partner and a few close friends about this side of me. I thought that by saying out loud “Hey ya’ll, I like guys and gals”, it would be enough to set me free. In some ways, it was. But it also shed light on the fact that I had been living half a lie my whole life. And I didn’t just want to say “This is me”, I wanted to BE me.
All the years of my life I spent repressing myself and pretending to be fully heterosexual meant there was more inside me that wanted to come out, that wanted to be expressed, that wanted to see the light of day.
I thought about what it might be like at 70, 80, 90 years old, or on my deathbed. I thought about how I could say “Well, at least I was honest about who I was.” But that just wasn’t enough for me. I worried that I would have so much regret about not exploring this side of myself. I was even more scared to arrive to these later years of life without my partner and best friend by my side. So even though I had recently shared some surprising news with my boyfriend, I knew I had even more unsettling news to share.
Of course I was terrified of what people would think of us. I was scared to be seen as anything but normal. But mostly I was scared that my boyfriend would leave me — I knew what his biggest fear was.
A couple of years into our relationship, we were playing a drinking game with a bunch of friends. It was a game called Waterfall where you spread a deck of cards on a table while each person takes turn drawing one. Each card has a rule associated with it. We decided that one of the cards should be tied to a Truth-or-Dare rule — whoever draws the card can pick a person to play Truth or Dare with. Someone drew that card and asked Javi, “Truth or Dare?” He responded with “Truth.” And the question was asked, “What is your biggest fear?” He paused for a bit as I eagerly awaited his answer. We had been dating for about 2 years and I didn’t know the answer to this
Monogamish Vs Open Relationship. What Is The Difference? – Fantasy Match
What is a monogamous relationship? - Quora
My Monogamish Relationship: A Divergent Path To Happy And... | Medium
What It Means to Be Monogamish | Glamour
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