Monkey Rocker Ride
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Coming Soon: Your Own Personal Sex Machines
(Editor's note: Links in this story that are not safe for work are marked NSFW.) UNIVERSAL CITY, California — It's the ultimate revenge of the nerds as product developers use their big brains to create sex machines that kick pleasure into overdrive. In fact, the very nature of the sex "toy" is changing as a […]
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( Editor's note: Links in this story that are not safe for work are marked NSFW.)
UNIVERSAL CITY, California -- It's the ultimate revenge of the nerds as product developers use their big brains to create sex machines that kick pleasure into overdrive. In fact, the very nature of the sex "toy" is changing as a new generation of sex-positive engineers infiltrates the industry.
From the smooth, silent glide of the Monkey Rocker Tango to Le Chair's ability to put two people into a dozen compromising positions, the new products and prototypes unveiled at this week's Adult Novelty Expo straddle the line between toy (a passive, frivolous object) and machine (a substantial apparatus that inspires commitment and even emotional attachment).
Here are some of the most interesting.
The gigantic Power Bullet gives you the stealth option, because it doubles as a muscle massager and hides its complex machinery inside a velvety, matte-black cylinder. It wouldn't be out of place in a Pilates studio or a physical therapist's office for people to roll up and down their quadriceps, but straddling it on a pillow is going to be a lot more effective at relaxing muscles and relieving stress. Its motors provide a deep throbbing touch and its single button offers a simplicity much appreciated by tired tech workers with wrist pain. I'm just sayin'.
As you can see in this photo, Imatah spokesmodel Danka takes the machine's debut very seriously. That's a custom-made dildo mounted on a plate connected to a mechanism that can pump straight in and out or move in an oval pattern. The Imatah weighs about 5 pounds and comes with a fabric sleeve that hides its legs and prevents the machine from falling off the bed when you use it.
"The machine becomes part of you!" gushes inventor James Hatami, who is working with Fleshlight (NSFW) to add functionality for male users. The Imatah requires only a 12-volt power supply "so you don't electrocute yourself," Hatami says.
The original Monkey Rocker (NSFW) is an amazing cybersex accessory, a silent machine that responds to your body motions without any complicated control panels or need for batteries. It's handmade from powder-coated, 100 percent recovered and recycled wood fiber -- PermaCore MDF, if you want to get technical -- and supports up to 400 pounds.
The new Monkey Rocker Tango brings the cybersex experience offline -- when you meet your online lover in person, you can both ride it at the same time (as long as your combined weight is less than 450 pounds). The Tango also works for folks who skip the whole cybersex thing and just have a regular ol' fashioned, in-person relationship. (Weird!)
In a surprise departure from its inexpensive signature collections from porn stars and sex therapists, an upcoming robotic sex chair from California Exotic Novelties (NSFW) is based on love furniture already available in Japan.
This prototype, called Le Chair, comes with motors in the seat and back supports that can pound, vibrate or stroke. One seat adjusts up and down to place lovers in optimal positions for various intimate activities, and both sides provide arm and leg support as well. A representative confided that the company plans to work with programs to help get Le Chairs to war veterans wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan at low or no cost.
At right, we have Le Chair with people in it, to give you an idea of its scale. For this picture, we have raised one seat and reclined its back support. If the woman were to lie back, her pelvis would be positioned conveniently for her partner's mouth. The target audience for Le Chair is "adventurous people" and "people with physical limitations," says California Exotic Novelties, although of course it's fun for everyone.
I'm convinced that the man who goes by "Preston Penobscott" developed the Menage-A-Tool (NSFW) simply as an excuse to spend more time in his machine shop, machining things. The tool is an adjustable, lightweight rod with two attachments for various dildos, so you can penetrate two people at a time and still have one hand free for someone else.
"The next one's gonna be hydraulic," he enthuses, already sketching out how he wants to make the new version even more adjustable so the dildos can go closer together for double penetration or further apart if whatever you're doing requires more space between your partners.
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Customer reviews
Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2017
My second one... lost my first in a divorce. Great item for every household.
2.0 out of 5 stars Cost vs. Quality
Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2019
High hopes but a letdown. It works just fine now, but it took far more work to get to an operational state then should for something with this high of a cost! Once unboxed I realized that there was a bolt, washers, and acorn nuts in the packaging. Upon further inspection only one of the bolts/acorn nuts was tightened. Every other bolt needed to be tightened and the one that had fallen out needed to be re-installed. The description also states Vac-u-lock compatibility but the installed holder is not a vac-u-lock holder, it might work but we haven’t tried a vac-u-lock toy to see if it will fit. Things work just fine now but for the cost of this I should not of had to do any of this work straight out of the box!
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49 global ratings | 39 global reviews
High hopes but a letdown. It works just fine now, but it took far more work to get to an operational state then should for something with this high of a cost! Once unboxed I realized that there was a bolt, washers, and acorn nuts in the packaging. Upon further inspection only one of the bolts/acorn nuts was tightened. Every other bolt needed to be tightened and the one that had fallen out needed to be re-installed. The description also states Vac-u-lock compatibility but the installed holder is not a vac-u-lock holder, it might work but we haven’t tried a vac-u-lock toy to see if it will fit. Things work just fine now but for the cost of this I should not of had to do any of this work straight out of the box!
The range of motion doesn’t allow you to use the last 3” of whatever toy you have attached to it. The little stock toy kept coming out and was only penetrating by about 2” because of this. The cheap ass wood split and broke at the hinge during the first use. Complete garbage. Total waste of money.
The only toys that work are the toys that came with it. Just when you get into it—-it’s so short it slips out. You will need to modify this to work for you.
Bought this for a friend. The handle is Glued on and only fastened with what could be considered a small drywall screw. For the Torque that will be placed on this handle, this needs a much better Fastening Design. I would Think Twice about This product. Unless the company Replaces this ( and I will retract this if they do) then I would Go ELSEWHERE for this toy.. Its Sad as my Friend Really enjoyed this product!!
poorly constructed already lost a cushion I am currently taking it apart to build a nice heavy duty plush one don't get what you pay for now days
My second one... lost my first in a divorce. Great item for every household.
From a design standpoint, it's a good product. From a build quality standpoint, it's a borderline disaster. When it arrived, I had to put several of the screws back in. Also the wood used in the frame and supports is MDF, which cannot take a lot of abuse. Considering that this is a sex machine at the end of the session, wood that can at least take beating. The MDF also limits the weight the product can successfully take. Note: If hiding the product is even remotely on your wishlist, give this a pass. It is larger and screams what it is.
Broken right out of the box. Bolt that came with it not long enough. To much money for something that looks and feels like it cost $20.00 to make.
Purchased more to entertain my spouse. Very pleased is my spouse. The chair did come broken on the bottom but it was nothing major. The bolts needed to be tighten and I had not used it yet. When you are paying that kind of money you should not need to due anything or have a broken chair.
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