Moms Teaching Girls
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I’m Teaching My Sons What A Real Female Body Looks Like
November 9, 2016
Updated November 14, 2016
I may live with a houseful of boys , but they’re still relatively young, so there are no nudie mags stashed between mattresses, no stealthily accessed porn sites that someone forgot to erase out of the internet history, or anything like that — yet .
I’d love to pretend my kids won’t be curious (I mean, if I had my druthers, a sexual thought wouldn’t even cross their minds until they’re like 25), but I’m well aware that won’t be the case . Those things are looming and will probably start happening much sooner than I’d like.
But before all that happens — before they start to notice pictures of boobs that are as round and firm as cantaloupes, and of taut, airbrushed, dimple-less butts — I’m exposing them to a different kind of female body: mine.
Ours is not a modest household. I don’t lounge around in the buff, and I spend more time saying, “Put on some pants!” than anything else. But I’ve never refrained from changing clothes in front of them, leaving the door open when I shower, or nursing my babies without a cover, because I want them to see what a real female body looks like.
If I don’t, and their first images of a naked woman are the impossibly perfect physiques in those magazines or those movies, what kind of expectations will they have as adults? More importantly, what woman could ever live up to them ?
I’m dismayed, big-time, by my post-baby body. But for the sake of my boys (and my future daughters-in-law), I lie through my teeth and never let them see that I’m anything less than confident about it. When they ask about my stretch marks, I tell them proudly how growing a baby is hard work and they’re like badges I’ve earned. (Gaming references always hit home with dudes, no matter what you’re explaining.)
As much as I’d like to cringe and shrink away when they touch my squishy belly, I let them squeeze my flab between their fingers. Do I hate it? Yes. I want to say, “Leave my fat alone!” and run tearfully for the nearest oversized T-shirt (or, like, the nearest liposuction clinic).
But I don’t, because for right now, for these few formative years, my flab is their one and only perception of the female body. Right now, it belongs to the woman they admire most. They see nothing imperfect about it, and that’s beautiful.
I tell them how strong my body is, and they see me work out. They see me make healthy food choices but still indulge in my love of baked goods. And though, like most women, I might beat myself up over my jeans getting too tight or groan in frustration at the numbers on the scale, I’m never anything but proud of my body in front of my boys, even when I feel the complete opposite inside.
Instilling a positive body image is not an issue reserved for people with daughters. And for boys, it’s not only making them confident about their own bodies, but letting them know that real is beautiful when it comes to the opposite sex.
I don’t want to do them, or any women they might happen to see naked in the future, the disservice of telling them that saggy boobs are bad or that a little bit of flab is something to be ashamed of. I want them to know that this is the norm — not the nipped, tucked, and digitally enhanced images they’re going to be bombarded with.
Sure, they’ll be distracted by those bouncy boobies and flat stomachs and perky butts, but I have hope that deep down inside, they’ll know that isn’t the standard to which they should hold women’s bodies (like, ever).
There will come a time when I cover up when they’re around. I’m sure at some point I’ll hear, “Ugh, Mom, put some clothes on!” or they’ll learn to knock before barging into the bathroom (which sounds heavenly, I’m not gonna lie).
But until then, I’ll let them run their little fingers along my stretch marks, and grin and bear it when they squeal with delighted laughter at the way my butt jiggles when I walk across the room to grab a towel.
But for now, while they’re young, I want to plant the seed — so that when they’re older and their wives say, “I wish my thighs were smaller,” my sons will say, “They’re perfect just the way they are.”
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10 Important Lessons Moms Can Teach Their Teenage Daughters
By Kirstie Landry
Published Nov 09, 2019
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While moms can learn a lot from their daughters, the same is even truer when it comes to what teenage girls can learn from their moms.
Raising a teenage daughter is a very hard thing to do, but there are plenty of tips out there for moms who are going through it. When kids become teenagers, they go through a lot more changes than many people think.
That means moms really need to be there for their teenage daughters. While moms can learn a lot from their daughters, the same is even truer when it comes to what teenage girls can learn from their moms.
Moms are usually their daughters’ biggest role models, so what they teach them is of the utmost importance. Here are some of the lessons they should definitely impart .
Saving money is important, and moms can actually teach their daughters to do this before they fly from the nest. Saving money might seem really hard to teenagers, but there are lots of tips their moms can give them to help them out.
One thing that helps is keeping track of how much money gets spent on everyday things. This is an important bit of financial knowledge moms can pass on to their daughters. They can even do it themselves so that their daughters can actually see this kind of thing happening, and why it is such a great thing to do.
Moms need to teach their teen girls that having self-respect is a very important thing. There are lots of ways they can do this.
Lots of girls think that their appearances are one of the most important things about them, but that is not true. How they feel about their appearance is what really matters, and moms can be very helpful here.
They need to convince their daughters that they are beautiful inside and out. Having some self-confidence can really go a long way, especially for a teenage girl They can also teach them to stay out of other peoples’ drama.
It seems that teens are much more likely to be happy if they are active, as well as doing something that involves a little bit of friendly competition . Mothers should encourage their young girls to get out there and find something that they really enjoy doing.
If they find a competition that they are interested in, that is awesome. This kind of things shows teenage girls how great it is to work hard at something. But they also need to know that they do not need to win a competition in order to enjoy it as much as they possibly can.
Mothers really should teach their teenage daughters to pay attention while they are still in school . Teenagers may not understand this until it is too late, but having a great education is a key part of having a long-lasting and satisfying career.
There are lots of ways that moms can teach their young girls about things like this. Mothers need to show teen girls how they keep themselves from getting distracted when they need to remain focused on something.
Moms can also do certain things to see if their teens pay attention. This is probably something they should do before they start showing them how to get better at it.
Mothers need to show their young daughters that other people's treatment of them is not necessarily a reflection of them, but rather a reflection of the other person. When girls are teenagers, they usually care a lot about what other people think of them, so when someone treats them poorly, it has a serious effect on them.
But moms can show them that this does not matter. How a person treats someone can really affect how they view themselves, and that seems even more true for teenage girls, which is why teaching them this is a very big deal.
Teenage girls should definitely be taught how to effectively deal with the peer pressure that they might feel while they are growing up. This is true for teens in general since peer pressure can actually have an impact on any teenager.
It is a very powerful thing, which is why parents everywhere need to be very proactive when it comes to showing their teens that they should not be doing something just because they see others around them doing it. Peer pressure can lead to some very negative things that no parent will ever want their child to deal with.
Sometimes teenage girls need to be reminded that they must have some respect for other people, and that is something that their mothers should teach them about while they are growing up. A little bit of respect can really go a long way.
But before a person can learn how to have respect for other people, they must first respect themselves. Teenagers will then learn that when they show respect to other people, those other people tend to treat them well. Respect is also something that makes a person feel good, and making people feel good is something everyone needs to do at one point or another.
Moms can teach their teenage daughters to listen. Listening is always a great skill to have. Sometimes, they need to listen to other people, and other times, they need to listen to what their most private thoughts and feelings are telling them.
Teen girls also should be aware of the fact that they need to listen to anyone whom they have a relationship with. They need to know that this kind of skill will always be useful to them.
No one likes to talk to a person who never listens to them. Girls need to know that there are times when someone around them would really appreciate a good listener.
Moms need to talk to their daughters about how they can stay true to themselves and find out who they really are before they start dating someone. It is very important that a person know themselves really well before they get into a relationship with another person.
If that does not happen, it is entirely possible that a teens’ personality will change so that it fits in with what she thinks her significant other finds desirable. People who don’t take the time to get to know themselves and what they want out of life are at least a little bit likely to behave this way in relationships.
Heartbreaks are not fun for anyone to go through, but moms should show their daughters that there can be a silver lining to them. People can use moments like that to grow on a personal level.
No one likes to go through this kind of pain, but having a broken heart can teach someone a great deal about themselves. No parent wants to see their child go through that, but it is often just something that comes along with growing up.
One thing that is profoundly heartbreaking for girls is the first breakup they experience. But that is needed since it has a big impact on their future relationships.
Kirstie writes about a little bit of everything. When she's not writing, she's spending time with her husband and dogs while sipping coffee. Landry also likes to come up with ideas for books that she will never actually write. She can be found on Facebook at Kirstie Landry, Writer.
https://www.scarymommy.com/teaching-sons-real-female-body-looks-like/
https://www.moms.com/important-lessons-moms-instruct-teach-teenage-adolescent-daughters/
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I'm Teaching My Sons What A Real Female Body Looks Like
10 Important Lessons Moms Can Teach Their Teenage Daughters
Moms Teaching Girls
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