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Moms Massage Stories
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Shape.com Beauty Confessions of a Massage Therapist
"There's nothing wrong with someone getting an erection. What's wrong is when it becomes inappropriate... At some of the spas I've worked at, it's rampant."
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The following is an interview with Glenn Ferrugiari, the National Director of Body Services at Red Door Spas. As told to Hannah Morrill.
Before I became a massage therapist, I was a professional dancer in New York City for 15 years. I danced on Broadway, in movies, and in commercials. I knew dancing was destroying my body and I wanted to know how I could fix it, so I took anatomy and physiology. That education really helped me understand the musculature of the body.
When I left the theater, I did a lot of odd jobs. I was a headhunter and the director of training for a department store. Then, one day, I decided I needed to get away from the corporate world and became a reservationist at a spa. At the end of the day, the massage therapists would be exhausted and I'd rub their shoulders, palms, and forearms. They'd say, "You're really, really good at this. You should probably be a massage therapist." So I became one. It's 15 years later, and I've worked for some very high-end spas before getting the job I have now.
I would equate being a massage therapist to heavy physical labor. We might as well be digging ditches with the amount of effort, force, and physical exertion that we put into our work. We don't just rub people with oil. And, let me tell you, no one wants anything but deep-tissue. While we don't want to disappoint our guests, we also don't want to kill ourselves. So we have to learn how to work smart and build stamina.
If you watch me, you'll notice that although my hands are in constant contact with the guest's body, I'm not doing a lot of arm motions. Most of the movement comes from my lower body-like my thighs, calves, and legs-which has bigger, stronger endurance muscles than my arms. I use the bulk of my lower body to augment the strength of my upper body.
We also have to learn how to work specific muscles. If we do that, guests will think we are using more pressure than we actually are. There are certain muscles that, when you put pressure on them, elicit that deep sensation people are looking for without a ton of effort by the massage therapist.
The people lying on our tables are absorbing energy from us; that's an important part of the relaxation process. But sometimes, they want more than we can give. Generally we very rarely disconnect, or take our hands from their bodies, but there are certain times when we need to. I'll remove my hands, put some peppermint on a tissue, put it in the front of my shirt, and breathe deeply. Within a second or so, I reconnect and am able to proceed.
There's a physiological reason men sometimes get erections when they're being massaged. The nervous system has two components: the sympathetic nervous system, which protects you, and the parasympathetic nervous system, which allows you to rest and relax. The latter is the component that's stimulated by the band of muscles on either side of your spine. When you're getting a massage, your parasympathetic nervous system is in overdrive. You are relaxed. You might be half asleep. And then, all of a sudden, a hand is going over a part of your body. Maybe it's the back of your knee, or the side of your leg, or across your décolletage. But it's going to trigger a natural physical response in your body-and in men it's visible, while in women it's not. Men should not be embarrassed. We're trained on how to control it: A little bit of pain, a little pinch in your shoulder, and the sympathetic nervous system kicks right back in.
There's nothing wrong with someone getting an erection. What's wrong is when it becomes inappropriate on their part. I paid $18,000 to get my license, and there is no way on God's good Earth that you could convince me to do anything inappropriate during a treatment. It's my reputation, it's my livelihood, and, in most cases, it's the guests who initiate those actions. At some of the high-end spas I've worked at, it's rampant. It's not a part of my career or profession that I enjoy talking about. [For the full story head to Refinery29 !]
#MyStory: I Went For A Massage… And Then A Man Walked In!!
I love getting massages! They make me feel completely relaxed and energized – enough to be able to face the hectic week ahead of me. Now, I recently made a trip to Thailand, and I was told that if you don’t get a Thai massage while you’re in Thailand, you’re missing something!
One day, I was walking down the streets of Pattaya. While I was strolling around the place, a beautiful Thai spa caught my attention. I said to myself: “This is it! I’m going to go in there and get myself pampered.”
All went well initially. I booked an appointment and they asked me to get ready. All I had was a towel wrapped around me. I was nervous and equally excited while waiting in the spa room for my massage therapist. The lights were dim and a floral aroma clouded the room. I had a good feeling about this.
After a couple of minutes, I heard the door open. To my surprise, it wasn’t a woman. It was a man! I was a bit shocked because I had never gotten a massage from a man before. He smiled gently and asked me to lie down on the massage bed. Only the lower half of my body was now covered with the towel that they had provided. To be honest, it was quite awkward!
He probably sensed that I was nervous. And so in calm voice, he asked me to just relax and keep my mind blank and free from thought. At that moment, I decided to trust him – what else could I do, really? I’d paid for the massage already, and I was – truth be told – kinda curious about this experience. His first touch on my skin made me jump – no guy other than my boyfriend had ever touched me like that. But I stopped feeling nervous within seconds; he was super professional. As the massage continued, I let my guard down and relaxed completely.
The soft music and the rhythm of my masseur’s hands de-knotting my muscles was an experience out of this world. It felt heavenly. I have to admit that I didn’t want him to stop! I didn’t even notice how quickly the allotted 45 minutes flew by.
After the massage, I changed back into my clothes and walked out a really happy customer. My masseur gave me his card as I was leaving, and till today, I keep it safe in my wallet. Whenever I do make my next trip to Thailand, I’ll make sure to pay that spa in Pattaya a visit. It’s not that the ladies I’ve received massages from in Mumbai aren’t great, but that massage was just…so unique! Here’s hoping I’m able to repeat the experience again!
Have a story you’d like to share? Just drop us an email here with your story – don’t forget to put #MyStory in the subject line. We’ll get back to you about whether we can feature it.
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Payal Rohatgi-Sangram Singh Tie The Knot In An Intimate Ceremony And Their Wedding Pics Are Magical!
Save The Skin: Add A Non-Greasy Sunscreen To Your Skincare Routine Now
Time To Switch: ‘Coz Sunscreen Sprays Are As Effective As Their Creamy Counterparts
Payal Rohatgi-Sangram Singh Tie The Knot In An Intimate Ceremony And Their Wedding Pics Are Magical!
Save The Skin: Add A Non-Greasy Sunscreen To Your Skincare Routine Now
Time To Switch: ‘Coz Sunscreen Sprays Are As Effective As Their Creamy Counterparts
Read one of the 129,674 stories from our 19,966 authors
"Marry James?" Kenny's look was nasty. He waited for an answer as he noticed his mother's nervousness. She always looked around the room when she was stumbling for words.
It was just the other day he reminded her, dad had left three years ago. He often thought of mom getting married again, but to James?
What would she say? Would she even answer him?
He kept his eyes steady, a little sad at his mother's discomfort. Maybe this wasn't the right time to ask. But he had to know.
"Mommm," an impatient whine dragged on his tongue.
"Well Kenny, you know James has been coming around
more often lately...and yes, it has been discussed..."
"I knew it! I just knew it!" he exploded. "Why didn't you ask me how I might feel?" Without giving his mother a chance to answer Kenny grabbed his schoolbooks and rushed out of the room.
A steady drumming of foot-thuds could be heard as he pounded upstairs. Each step stomped out a message, "I'm upset. I'm upset." Echoes of his feet attack on the stairs soon faded away.
How could she think about marrying again? What's wrong with her…gee whiz, mom.
Slumping on his bed, Kenny thought of dad who had been gone since the winter the boy had turned nine. "My leaving has nothing to do with you. I'll always love you," dad said. Then he stepped out of his life, like a fading ghost. There were times Kenny cried like a baby, over something he knew was missing in his life.
He kicked off his sneakers and bent to peel off his socks. Lying on his back, arms tucked under his head, he scanned the room carefully.
His eyes took in the pennant from Halifax and pictures of he and mom. Also himself and his buddy Troy, taken at Boy Scout Summer Camp last year.
Kenny sat up and placed his feet on the cool floor, then walked slowly to the window. He knew he had the best view in Sheldon, a village of 200 people near Truro, Nova Scotia. His house sat on a hill overlooking the highway. He felt like an owl settled on a branch watching the world move along.
The collection of old houses, trailers and newly aluminum-sided buildings straddled both sides of Highway 104.
They were like salt sprinkled at random.
Right now the stars were bright, their luminous eyes keeping him company. He could see the Big Dipper or ‘Ursa Major’ as he learned in school.
"It's tough growing up," he said aloud. He knew he was acting silly but things seemed much simpler when he was younger.
He enjoyed staring out the window at night, elbows on the window-sill, chin cradled in his hands. There was a time when he dreamed of being an astronomer or 'star-gazer.' Everything seemed so peaceful up there.
His brow furrowed when he thought a lot. And he was thinking about Larry, his neighbor who took him fishing last Saturday.
He would make a great dad. But he's already married with grown up kids of his own. "So I'll probably end up getting stuck with someone like James," Kenny sighed.
It wouldn't be so bad if James didn't have to work all the time. He never took him anywhere. And he's so strict. Kenny continued to look out the window as his mind raced along on a merry-go-round of memories.
Tiredly he made his way back to bed and flung himself down. He was too sleepy to even climb under the sheets and pull up his covers.
His mind re-lived events from last Saturday when Larry took him fishing. It had been a perfect day. "This is really neat," Kenny had said, eyes dancing with excitement. Kenny really liked Larry.
The first time they had met was last year when Kenny began a paper route. Kenny had marched up the front steps. "Would you like to take the weekly? He had asked. "I guarantee good service, how about it?"
"Call me Larry," the man had said, "unless your parents object."
"That's cool. My mom won't mind. She's divorced and she lets me make lots of decisions."
Since then he had met Larry's wife and even had a tour of their big old house which used to be a church manse. Imagine, the place was over 140 years old.
He learned to play chess with Larry and had come over many times to help pile wood and mow the grass. It soon become his second home.
Larry didn't pay money for chores. "Instead I'll be glad to take you hiking or even go on a fishing trip,” he had said.
Now his dreaming relived that awesome trip last weekend to Economy Lake, ten miles north of Bass River village.
His sleepy eyes gave in to the comfortable images.
"Remember what I told you Kenny," Larry had said, "about the different parts of the canoe?" He knew Kenny liked to be tested on his knowledge.
"Yes, the sides are called gunnels."
Kenny knew Larry was proud of him. He really liked someone to teach him things.
Fishing rods were loaded, food packs carefully placed into the center of the canoe, and life jackets worn. They had waded barefoot from the shore, carrying the boat to a depth of several feet, so as not to scratch its hull.
Kenny stretched, then turned on his side. His memories were like a movie reel. The best part was yet to come.
While Larry held the canoe, Kenny gingerly placed his cold feet inside, one at a time then sat down in the bow. As Larry seated himself in the stern, Kenny said quickly, "OK dad, let's go." He glanced back to see if Larry noticed what had slipped from his tongue.
Kenny hadn't said it on purpose. It sort of sneaked out. "OK dad," he repeated under his breath "let's go." Sounded really nice, he thought to himself. He turned around from the bow and looked back.
He noticed Larry's peaked hat, with the perch fish on its front. Red vest, blue shirt, worn jeans and bare feet completed the picture. Larry's paddle was ready for action. And his eyes seemed at peace with himself. They were always full of laughter.
Kenny wished James was more like Larry.
"What's up Kenny? Why are you looking at me so seriously?" Larry had said, chuckling.
Kenny turned away quickly, his heart pounding.
But it wasn't all. He missed having a dad, and he was glad his face was turned away as moisture gathered on his cheeks. He wasn't crying, not really. He felt like a traitor for even pretending Larry was his dad.
But then it must be okay, the sky didn't explode or anything.
To himself he said softly, "OK dad, I'm ready now. Let's go." And he felt good inside as his paddle dipped in the water...
Kenny jerked awake in his room as he heard his squeaky doorknob. Through half-closed eyelids he watched his mom step in.
Kenny pretended to be asleep, one arm flung out. His fingers were open as if waiting for a handshake from someone.
As his mom crossed the creaking floor, he carefully controlled his breathing. He felt her eyes travel from his toes, lanky legs, and thinly stretched frame to his blond head.
She puffed air softly on his closed eyelids, testing to see if he was really asleep. It tickled, but somehow he calmed his reflexes.
He wanted to reach out and hug her.
She retrieved a blanket from the closet and placed it over him. He groaned softly, letting out some of his tension. The sound drifted as if from a far-away planet.
Before he fell asleep he made a promise to himself.
Tomorrow he would tell her that he loved her.
Co-authors Richard and Esther Provencher invite you to view their newest novel SOMEONE’S SON written during Richard’s recovery from a stroke, which gob-smacked him in 1999. It is a Young Adult novel dealing with a family crisis. http://www.synergebooks.com/ebook_someonesson.html (link is external)
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DEAR DEIDRE My soulmate lied to me for 2 years - he is married & still living with his wife
TOTAL DECEIT My husband lies about everything and I am so sick of it
FIZZLING OUT My work colleague just wanted sex & no longer wants to spend any time with me
TOO QUICK My boyfriend can't last in bed especially when I give him oral sex
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's problems
Got a problem? Write to Deidre here .
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre or write to Deidre Sanders, The Sun, London SE1 9GF
I ASKED a close friend of my husband to massage my sore muscles and it led to amazing sex. It was the last thing I intended.
I am 31 and married to a good man, but he has been a bit distant lately and there has been almost no sex.
He is 31 as well and we have been married for seven years.
This friend of my husband did some training as a masseur, although he moved on to become a personal trainer. He is 29 and has no partner at the moment, so we invite him round for a meal sometimes.
On this particular evening my husband had a call from work about an emergency and knew he would have to go out later.
But we didn’t like to put this friend off so we decided he should come anyway.
We ate our meal together then my husband went off to his meeting about an hour’s drive away.
The friend and I were chatting and I told him I had a problem with my leg. The physiotherapist had prescribed me some special exercises but despite doing these, my leg was still hurting.
He suggested massaging it for me, so we opened out the sofa bed and I lay down with my legs bare.
It felt really good and I was the most relaxed I have felt for ages.
He said my whole body seemed tense and gradually moved his hands upwards. I think I actually let out a moan of contentment and this might have encouraged him.
The massage became more and more intense and he said it would feel better without my clothes on. So I took them off.
The result was that we
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