Moms 2 Sons

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Two Moms and Two Sons
Previously: Two Moms? and an Imaginary Kid? – foster parenting and adoption
In this season of eggnog and holiday fantasy, I find myself dieting. Again. So, I am not having eggnog even though I love it. In real-life and in this post, I am having a tall, cold glass of water.
It’s wonderful introducing a 3 year old to the healthy indulgences of Christmas. We’ve been watching classic Christmas kids’ movies. We drive slowly through the neighborhood to enjoy all the light displays. We’re reading holiday-themed bedtime stories. We’ve made and decorated cookies. And we’ve already been to 2 Christmas parties, and we have several more ahead of us.
But the fact is – despite so many wonderful experiences that we’ve had over this past year – if given the opportunity to return to his past, Squiggles would.
It’s not personal. We’ve given him a supportive, relatively calm home, he’s never lacked for food, he’s never been left alone. He’s learned concepts like numbers and letters, his vocabulary has grown so much it’s hard to believe it’s been less than a year. He has books read to him every night, he gets to play with others his age daily, he gets to go swimming and do gymnastics at school every day, he can ride a bike, he has learned to hit a tennis ball, he can throw and catch a football. Most important, he has 2 adults that spend time with him every single day. But deep down, he feels he belongs to his mom. Ironically, his memory of her has already blurred. Now when he tells us something about her, it is almost always a “memory” that happened last week with us.
When we were thinking about becoming foster parents, we knew that many, many children end up resenting the foster parents, seeing them as trying to replace their birth parents. It makes perfect sense. I don’t think he resents us. It’s more of a longing to be re-connected with those from his past. He wants to be where he thinks he belongs. I can see so much potential in him, so I want better for him.
It’s still a wonderful holiday season. Squiggles talks glowingly about putting up Christmas decorations at our house, picking out the tree, and making Christmas cookies (definitely an instant favorite). Squiggles and Wiggles are both amazingly cute, and they dressed-up in ties for recent Christmas parties. There’s plenty of eggnog to go around.
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