Mommy Sperm

Mommy Sperm

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Filed under

penises

sex and relationships

tattoos

2/4/22

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This British woman believes size matters — and she’s got a new tattoo to prove it.
Tracy Kiss, 34, stunned family and friends after having a ruler tattoo inked down her forearm so she could accurately measure the length of her prospective partners’ penises.
The sex-minded mom — who has a 14-year-old daughter — told Jam Press that she’s looking for a well-endowed boyfriend, and her new body art is “a practical design and tool to enhance my life.”
The tattoo does not include any numbers, instead featuring “pretty dots” that are spaced an inch apart up Kiss’ arm.
“As it doesn’t have numbers, it’s actually rather discreet and allows me to innocently reach up to stroke a man’s stomach whilst taking a glance at my arm alongside it to count the inches,” the creative blonde exclaimed.
“It’s something people may not think about when shaking my hand and won’t look out of place in a nursing home when I’m 90 but will always put a smile on my face and twinkle in my eye,” she further enthused.
Kiss — who said she has a high libido and once had sex 11 times in a day — said knowing a partner’s size is important to her.
“I’m a woman who enjoys pleasure, body confidence and intimacy and feel that women have just as much right as men to speak honestly about sexual encounters,” she declared.
“It’s not all about size, it’s what you do with it and how your partner makes you feel when building an intimate connection, but for those who enjoy finer details, it really is the cherry on the cake for me!”
Kiss’ teenage daughter initially believed the tattoo was designed to measure bananas and cucumbers before she finally clocked what the erotic inking was actually for.
“My daughter is at an age now where she realizes my cheeky sense of humor and picks up on adult jokes which she’d missed before,” Kiss stated.
And while her child may not mind the raunchy inking, Kiss’ friends are less enamored.
“My friends think my new tattoo is a little outrageous … I doubt they’ll be lining up to get their own rulers inked anytime soon, but each to their own, whatever floats your boat!”
Kiss says the tattoo has other practical uses and recently came in handy while helping her mom pick out a new garden pot.
“My mom remarked at how handy it was to have a tattoo that could be used as a ruler. I smiled at her and said, ‘What a coincidence!’ Her new pots look lovely,” she chuckled.
Kiss has more than 70 other tattoos, and may soon add an extra inking so that she can measure a man’s girth.
“I am rather tempted to add some dots from my thumb to my index finger to measure girth at the same time but I’m not sure if it would be too obvious what I’m doing,” she stated. “I guess it all depends on where somebody is looking when I whip it out to count!”

This is....the worst thing....ever to happen to me.

Ok, So im not religous. And deffinantly not christian or whatever, so if you can guess my penis is not circumsiezed. And i masturbait once every 2 or 4 days.

Now, today My mom told me she was going to a book sale in town at the library she does charity cervices at. And my dad, being a traveling ceo and sales rep is out of town till next week. I decided this would be the best time to masturbait.

What i inferred from my mother was that she was leaving immedeatly. So i go into my room, fire up limewire, and start looking at porn.

Push comes to shove and im done...

Heres where the non circumsiezed part comes in. (no pun intended). When im ready to blow my load i can hold it inside my dick by literally holding the end of my penis shut. i know it seems far fetched but go fill a bag full of syrup, hold the end shut and tip it upside down. I was running to the bathroom with my cock hard and literally full of sperm when my mom walks in front of me.

The awkward silence that filled the air was like mustard gas. My mom looks at my pantless self and i immideatly let go of my dick. (im gonna puke) and i let my pre exploaded load go all over the floor...in front of my mom.

she let out a wimper and turned the corner but not befor i could sprint. And i tell you, sprint into my room. this is where i am now. I dont know if ill ever face my mom again.

If i dont post for awhile youll know what happened.....
Don't crush it when you sit up on it.
I grab some tissues and kind of push the fluids out of myself afterwards using my vaginal muscles. It doesn't get it all out but it gets a lot out.
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Don't crush it when you sit up on it.
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I showered with my mom and things got awkward
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Get that nasty secret off your chest or simply use this as a place to vent. See the unfiltered opinions of strangers.
I broke my hand a couple days ago and I can't shower with my broken hand so my mom decided to shower with me to help me. She take all her clothes off and take my clothes off and went to the shower. My mom was washing me and i was trying to not have a boner but I can't help it and I got an erection right in her face and I said I'm so so sorry she said “That’s okay it just means you’re in good health!” so then she was washing my penis and balls she wash it just like she was trying to make have an orgasm then I can't help it and let it all out right in front my mom! she was a little shocked but then she said “I’m glad you’re enjoying this” then she cleaned the mess and washed my penis and then we finished the shower. Since then I haven’t talked to her and I don't think i can get myself to talk to her ever again. What do I do now?
Reading your post history... clearly a troll.
What you do next is r/quityourbullshirt Per your history you have killed people including family members, 3-ways with teachers, fucked your dad, sister, mother while camping and you're clearly a fucked up troll.
Found Sigmund Freud’s Reddit account.
Put a waterproof bag over your busted arm and wash with the other good hand / arm for fucks sake.
According to his post history he has sex with everyone who exists
She is very fat , he thought the rolls on her leg was her pussy.
Shower with her again, but tell her you read online that mouths clean better than hands.
Now you should tell all your friends and relatives
Well well boy aren't you lucky what are you do? Should you even have to ask if she did that enough and you allowed it to make you come then both of you were enjoying it. So do what you want to do because that's what we should all do. Instead of what some book or some other person said it isn't okay if you liked it then ask her to help you with the shower again. Just cuz people say it isn't okay it doesn't mean it isn't do what makes you feel good do what makes you happy whatever it may be

February 23, 2022
February 23, 2022

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