Mommy S Busy

Mommy S Busy
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My son has heard the phrase “Mommy’s busy” so many times that he has adopted it as one of his sayings, even when I’m not busy. I do a large portion of my work from my phone, but he knows I really mean business If I’m pulling out the laptop.
I feel genuinely awful when I have to do the “Mommy’s busy” because I’m on deadline or something. He didn’t ask to be born into my chaos, but he is also the reason that I have worked so hard to be able to work from home (or the park, or the library, or wherever). Being present to raise him has always been my number one priority.
I am a single mom, so it’s complex, but I knew that I had options. I started out as a babysitter, which I still do. I brought my son to work with me, so while I didn’t literally work from home, I considered myself a work-from-home mom. My reasoning was twofold: I wanted to be around to raise my son myself, but also childcare is ridiculously expensive.
The cost of childcare is initially what led me to explore working from home as a serious option. When my son was born, his father and I were still together, but he worked long hours. I knew that financially I needed to work, but upon doing the math I realized that I would basically be working just to pay someone else to take care of my son. That was a waste of money.
So I looked into work-from-home jobs. I was surprised when I began seeing writing jobs online. I knew that it was an option, but I had always figured that it wasn’t a real option for me. Learning about being a freelance writer, essentially a work-from-home writer, opened up a whole new world for me.
As a babysitter, I had to maintain a certain amount of hours to make ends meet, so we were on a really strict schedule that didn’t leave a lot of time for spontaneity or much room for us to do the things that were fun for my son, like going to the playground or the children’s museum. Now I could be more present for him, and it would make our schedule less hectic as well. That’s where my smartphone came in handy. I could jot down notes and ideas or even write full pieces while we were hanging out doing things we liked to do together. It was liberating for both of us.
But sometimes I need to focus, like really focus, and that’s when things get difficult. When I have a tight turnaround for an article, or something that requires a lot of research, then I have to get creative. I am not ashamed to admit that I will give him a tablet or put on a television show to distract him for a while.
He does spend a good amount of the day playing on his own, and I try to sneak off and write, but he always seems to find me and demand my attention to play trains or sing songs or something else that will put my focus directly on him. As is the case with toddlers, attention is his lifeblood. Sometimes he understands that Mommy is working (hence his “Mommy’s busy” mantra), but most of the time he simply doesn’t care and will do whatever it takes to get my attention.
The biggest challenge for me as a work-at-home mom is time. The work/life balance is enough of a challenge for those of us parents who work, but working from home really does add another layer to the whole thing that can feel impossible to navigate. It feels like there are never enough hours in the day. Occasionally, I have no choice but to put my work before his needs, because we have to have money to live and pay bills, and sometimes I just can’t fulfill my duties from the playground.
Once, when it was a particularly nice day, my mother told me that I should take my son to the park. Of course I wanted to, but I was in the middle of working on something with a strict deadline.
“Well, can’t you just write later?” my mother asked.
“My editor doesn’t really care if it’s a sunny day here,” I had to explain.
I spend nap times tapping away and work late at night when he goes to sleep (or when I can get him to calm down and relax) while drinking copious amounts of Cherry Coke and eating junk food to keep my eyes open.
It definitely isn’t easy, and it’s not for everyone, but I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity. I treasure the days with my son, and the memories we make, and the laughs we share. In a few years when he’s older and in school or otherwise occupied with his pals, I will bask in the glow of the memories of his childhood where it was the two of us taking on the world. I won’t ever regret typing away into the wee hours of the morning, or having to lock myself in my bedroom for a few minutes because “Mommy’s busy.” The tradeoff is worth it.

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1 . Find two rectangular 16 qt. boxes (Target or any school/paper supply store has perfect boxes.)
Think what your child likes – what is he/she interested in. Collect a few items and place in this box (This box will be in the adult’s possession, not accessible or visible to your child). The trick is to find items your child is not using every day. They don’t necessarily have to be new store bought items, they can come from your kitchen. In time you will add more and more items to this box—it is your storage. (I will share my list of ideas with you for this box).
This box will be the box that you will make available to your child when you are about to make a phone call. Create a label: “Mommy is busy” (with picture of mommy occupied by some business, such as mom on the phone. It could also say: “Daddy is busy”, “Grandma is busy”, “Sister is busy”, etc). Tape this label on the lid.
Not only will the “busy box” occupy your child while you are busy, it will foster the independence we strive to model in our children.
Wishing you all the best in the difficult yet exciting journey of parenting!
Have you ever asked yourself if conflicts are good or bad? We see our
We invite you to a very unique parenting class. In this class, parents have
It is easy to send a message of acceptence as well as to withdraw
Visit us at www.RIEpasadena.org or contact Melissa Coyne at melissa.coyne@rie.org
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Children move, explore, discover, play and learn.

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Photo album with child’s baby pictures
Empty toilet paper rolls with small animals in them on one string. Hang across the room. And small rescue figure. Can he save animals? (recycled – free)
Set of empty containers from lotions with the Lids for children to open and close (recycled – free)
Expand on this set of empty containers from lotions and perfumes. You can have multiple sizes, small to large, you can put items inside for sorting. Lids can be removed and kids can match the lid to the jar. (recycled – free)
Empty coffee can from Trader Joe’s. Cut the lid. It makes a perfect sorter. Cut one opening for items to sort in the box. (recycled – free)
Expand this idea by cutting three lids in different way: long and skinny, small and round, large and round. Provide small items to sort. Could be small sticks, rocks and cards. (recycled – free)
Set of small metal cars (you might have one already)
Kefir bottle from Trader Joes with plastic bracelets and plastic curlers
Markers and paper that are usually not available ($2 – 3)
Empty coffee can from Trader Joe’s. Cut the lid (long skinny opening). It makes a perfect mailbox. Provide small pretend letters. Include letter from you to your child, from dad to child. (recycled – free)

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