Mommy Helps On Stepson S Stubborn

Mommy Helps On Stepson S Stubborn




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Mommy Helps On Stepson S Stubborn
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You are here Home Forums Parenting Teenage Stepchildren 14 yr old step son exposed himself to me
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Submitted by Momof5mn on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 8:57am
A few times I have passed my 14 yr old stepson's room, he has been standing by the door with his pants off and a boner. The first time it happened, I blew it off. Hey, 14 year old in his room...pretty normal. Well it has now happened a few more times, so now I think it is intentional and he wants to be seen by me. Then yesterday I was organizing our basement storage room and he kept coming in to help and was trying to brush up against me, etc. My husband / his Dad was right outside the room assembling shelving and was back and forth in the room and had no idea there was anything going on. At first I was trying to believe it was coincidental and there was nothing going on and kept sending him out of the room to help his Dad, but he kept coming back and at one point tried to get me to see his boner through his shorts.
I did not want to make a scene at the time because his younger sisters were around, but looking for advice on what to do now.
I am also nervous if he has exposed himself to me, that he may try to do the same to his younger sisters. I have no reason to believe this has happened, but it does concern me now.
Submitted by godess-clueless on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 9:12am
Agree with HRNCY. He is at an age when this activity will be going on but it is to remain private. No exception to the rule about in private!
Submitted by furkidsforme on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 9:12am
I can understand brushing this off when it first occurred as an an awkward "OMG let's both pretend that didn't happen" event.
Obviously you need to talk with your DH about this. But I can imagine there will likely be some blow back from him denying the possibility. I don't think I have any good advice.
Please let us know what happens. You HAVE to let your DH know. And next time your slimy little perv of a SS tries this, you need to call him out on it. By saying nothing, you are being a participant.
At this point, even if his sisters are around, he needs to be called out. If it embarrasses him beyond belief, GOOD!!! If it doesn't embarrass him, it is still worth it. He knows you are on to him, and that you will not tolerate it. And if he is doing it to his siblings and his sisters hear you confronting him, it might give them the power to come to you or DH and confide that he is doing it to them, as well.
I think it is unlikely he is *only* doing this to you. If not his sisters, then perhaps kids at school or even strangers are also likely victims.
Submitted by ItHasGottenBetter on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 9:53am
Like 1000 times. Call the little shit every time. I wish I could go back and redo how I handled it (see post below). SS17 was convicted of having sex with young girls twice and spend 2.5 years in juvie for it. IDK if he ever touched his younger siblings, but there have been incidents, whispers that he has but no one has ever come out and called him out for it.
Submitted by ctnmom on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 9:36am
Are you saying that there are girl children in this house???? :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
Submitted by jumanji on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 9:48am
Why do you not want to talk to his Dad about this?
Submitted by ItHasGottenBetter on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 9:54am
Same thing happened to me with my then SS14. I told DSO at first, but bc he didn't see it he didn't believe me. He didn't stand with a boner, but her would stand in his doorway and when I would walk down the hall, he would come the other way and try and rub against my tits. If I was in kitchen cooking, he would come up from behind and throw a tiny piece of paper away and rub against me or look down my shirt. Always when DSO wasn't in the room too.
After DSO got full custody SS16, by then, was sneaking into our bedroom at night, where I was sleeping naked. I shudder to think of what he was doing while I was asleep. He didnt' shut the door one time and the dog woke me up licking my face.
We started locking the deadbolt on the door and the shit stole the key off of my ring. Luckily, I caught it immediately (door wouldn't lock up and it had unlocked the door 10 minutes earlier), replaced the deadbolt immediately. He was stealing cigarettes also, but I'm sure he was getting his rocks off too.
DSO finally realized I was telling him the truth. Even if your DH doesn't believe you, keep telling him and do not be alone with the kid. Period.
SS21 isn't allowed in my home if DSO is not there and we really don't encourage him to come over at all.
Submitted by momandmore on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 9:53am
This is definitely not normal behavior. If either of my SSs did this I would speak to DH immediately. I have 4 girls in my home and I would be watching like a hawk. I agree that therapy might do this kid some good.
Submitted by Indigo on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 1:09pm
No good advice because you need to tell DH and there WILL be backlash, denial, etc. You are a victim of sexual harassment. I don't care if the little shit is 14 or 54 ...
SS will most likely try to flip it against you. You wander around house w/o bra, you shirt is too tight, you yoga pants too snug. Recognize the "blame the victim" behavior and do not fall for it. This is your house.
Siblings do not need to see SS's behavior toward you. It's not appropriate, respectful, allowed in your household, etc
Be careful. Not telling keeps you a victim, but telling opens you up for some difficult times.
Submitted by CantKeepDoingThis on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 2:16pm
Definitely talk to DH NOW! Any provocative or sexual behavior should not be tolerated...I don't care what sex they are! SD used to go from the bathroom to her bedroom after a shower just barely holding a towel up to her front side. She would also try to walk around here in crop tops and shorts that showed half her butt! I made it clear many times that this was not acceptable, as there were guys living in this house! Did she want to be seen? I'm sure of it. Especially when BS20's friends would be over, she would come bouncing out of her room in her butt shorts and crop tops and would stand around provocatively while acting coy! DH would always be blind to it...never saying anything! I didn't care it it embarrassed her...I would tell her in front of everyone to go put clothing on!
Though SD's actions weren't as serious as you SS, both show how overly sexual these kids are! Guys tend to be a bit more forceful about their urges than women in general. You have young girls in your home...this MUST be addressed ASAP!
Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 5:04pm
SS13 sometimes pokes or expresses interest in my chest. He does it in a pre-schooler type of way, he'll do it right in front of his dad, he isn't even sneaky. I have no problem whatsoever telling him to cut it out and never, ever, NEVER do that to ladies or girls.
Once I even scared my husband a bit because my Scary Lady voice alarmed even him. But he supported me nonetheless, even though he almost never uses anything but a very gentle voice with either child.
Here's the kicker, though. My stepson is AUTISTIC. He really doesn't know any better. He's curious like a little kid is curious. I am firm with him for his own sake. I know if he tries this on girls at school he will face far more serious consequences. I want him to learn it now, that it is unacceptable.
Really, it shouldn't be that hard to call out a wacko behaving boy. Just straighten up your shoulders and embarrass the hell out of the kid. "Stepson! You must never touch me like that again. This is MY personal space. You are way too old not to know that so what the hell are you up to?"
And, yes, tell your DH right away. That should not be hard, either. Speak up. You're an adult. Be captain of your own fate. Do it.
Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 7:16pm
^^^^No kidding. SD has been on a campaign to run around the house in panties since the day I met her. (Literally). Dh and I BOTH have been firm with her NO. SS has the free range attitude of the autistic child and couldn't care less about his personal modesty. Again, we have been The Team teaching him to keep a robe on when he leaves the shower and clothes when he leaves his room.
This is no brainer stuff. A 14 year old boy without autism should have no trouble understanding that rule and sm no trouble calling it out.
Submitted by Momof5mn on Mon, 01/05/2015 - 8:44am
To answer your questions, I am in my early 40's, and do not believe I would be described as " hot" by 14 yr old standards. I have been with my husband for about 9 years and my SS was 5 when we met, so he should consider me a parent figure.
As far as actions that happened after 1st incident, I did not feel they were just a horny teenager, which is why I decided to do something about it. His 12 year old sister was in a nearby room, as well as my 5 year old who asks a ton of questions and doesn't miss a beat when there is something going on, which is why I did not address it at the time. Hope some of this answers your questions.
Thanks for your advice.
Submitted by MrsCancer1973 on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 7:29pm
Tell hubby SS a horny MF and being disrespectful by showing you his pee-pee and brushing against you when he passes you..or if you have a relationship with him like that where you can say something to the SS, say something to him also. That is not acceptable and you need to nip that shit in the bud.
He is at that age where they fap a lot but to expose himself to his SM?
Gross.
Submitted by IslandGal on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 7:49pm
That's just sick. I have 3 sons and have raised them over the past 30 years.. they have also had friends sleep over. I have had nephews sleep over - and not once, has any of them ever, ever, ever been seen by me, or any female in my house, having a boner.
Your SS acted completely disrespectfully and he needs to be spoken to by his father immediately. I understand your shock with the first time - but mark my words - he did tht on purpose. The fact that you said nothing is encouraging him to see what more he could get away with.
Inform his father and do it in front of that little shit.
Submitted by dogtac69 on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 7:53pm
Go to DH right now. This is way over the line.
Submitted by ltman on Sun, 01/04/2015 - 8:17pm
I'm with Ditzy on this. Sounds like a totally inappropriate horny teen. Let Dh explain the facts o'life.
Submitted by Momof5mn on Mon, 01/05/2015 - 8:35am
Just a few follow up comments. I did plan to talk to DH when I posted, was just looking for advice if anyone had been in a similar position and how they approached it and handled it. DH is supportive of me and apologized and will discuss with SS. I think that I was trying to believe it was not really what I thought it was, which is why I didn't say anything right away to him and was shocked, as he is a very good kid otherwise and there have been no other issues with him at all.

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