Mommy Fixation

Mommy Fixation

Home > Reads for Women > Understanding Men

Share
Tweet

Pin It

Follow Tiffany Grace on

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Pin It
Tweet
Share

Sweet Love
Better Love
Romantic Love
Your Ex
Broken Hearts

Get Flirty
Dating Game
Wild Secrets
Naughty Affairs

Seduction
Obsession
Fantasies
Passion Pill
Sizzle

Relationships
Work and Play
Reflections
A Better Life

Dating a guy is complicated enough, but some things are even more difficult to navigate. What does it mean when a guy has mommy issues? Mommy issues in men is more common than you think, so when you do learn these signs, keep an eye on them!
Mommy issues, in their simplest form, are issues a grownup carries over from their childhood to adulthood because of the relationship they share with their mother.
While we mostly reference this term with guys, sometimes, women too can have mommy issues.
Usually, when a guy has mommy issues, it can be anywhere in a spectrum between these two scenarios – he’s either extremely attached to his mother, or the other end of the spectrum – he’s completely detached from her.
Neither of the scenarios are ideal because they’re not healthy for the guy, and for you, the girl who’s dating him.
If there’s one permanent fixture in a guy’s life, it is his mom. After all, it’s his mom who loved them first, whom they loved first too—and the first woman who could have broken his heart. Figuring out if your man has mommy issues is what we’re here to help you understand.
We all know mothers are caring and affectionate. They cater to the needs of their children, even well before birth and up until they grow up and have children of their own. Many men adore their mothers because of their close bond. And it is their mothers who have taught them how to treat other women in their lives.
However, growing up without a mother figure also molds men to be different people. Ultimately, treating other women differently. The presence of mothers in their lives has a huge impact as they grow up from being boys to men who in turn become husbands and daddies.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet. You’re just dating this guy right now. You have no plans of taking the relationship to another level just yet. Unless, of course, you figure out if he has mommy issues. After all, not a week goes by where he doesn’t dutifully take his mum out for dinner.
What does it really mean when we say that a guy has mommy issues? We break it all down below:
Your boyfriend does not live with his mom *anymore*, but he may just as well because he is always on the phone with her. It’s either he calls his mom every day, or his mom contacts him.
Either way, not a day goes by when they don’t talk, and his mom knows how his day went more than you do. And if he also spends most of his spare time with her *he just cancelled on your weekend together just to drive to his mom’s* then you know by now his mom always comes first. [Read: 22 big early warning signs of a bad boyfriend ]
On the other end of the mommy issues spectrum is the detached son. He never talks about his mom. You never even know if he talks to his mom. This leads you to wonder if his mom is dead, in jail, out of the country, heaven-knows-what.
Could it be they had a fight? You don’t want to be nosy early in the relationship and each time you try to start a conversation about his mom, he avoids it. In this case, you must be patient.
He may have had a rocky childhood growing up with his mom, and from there on, he hates all women—you never know until it comes out straight from his mouth. If one day he starts talking about how all women are the same, then it’s your cue to run. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend to watch out for ]
A man with mommy issues most likely experiences trust issues. He doesn’t trust other women because his mother, whom he once looked up to, let him down. Because of that, all the women he gets into a relationship with constantly must prove they can be trusted.
Your guy always needs you to verify everything you say or do. He contacts your friends to ask if you were really with them. And he also checks your phone and online accounts. The lack of trust harbored towards his mom while he was growing up is now being channeled to all the women he interacts with. [Read: 15 questions to reveal a controlling personality instantly ]
Men with mommy issues also tend to be disrespectful to women. If your guy is like this, you will find that you constantly have to excel in what you do and work extra hard to gain his respect. Your guy may need you to be so much more than an average woman, expecting a lot from you, before he respects you. Meanwhile, you may find him looking down on other women who don’t fit the idea of a “decent, respectable woman” in his head.
And if you yourself don’t fit that mold, he will not care about what you say or do, and may belittle your opinions like you don’t know what you are talking about.
There will be men who didn’t have a mother figure in their lives. If your boyfriend is like this, his mom may have become the center of his life as a child. But then his mother left him, thereby causing a big void in his life.
When this happens, he may grow up trying to fill the empty spot his mom left. Eventually, this will be reflected in his interactions and relationships, wherein he would tend to have more than one woman in his life. Aside from you, for example, he will have another woman for sex, another for companionship, a different woman when he goes to a different place, and another woman to mentally challenge him.
This may make him a habitual cheater, because even if you are the best girlfriend or spouse in the world, no one woman satisfies him and fills the void in his life. [Read: Avoid them like the plague: 16 types of guys not to date ]
Whatever you do, he takes as a vendetta against him, like all women are out to hurt him. His ex-wife divorced him, his ex-girlfriend cheated on him, and you are going to break his heart too. This is because he may have an abusive or absentee mom, and back then, he didn’t understand why his mom left him, or he was badly hurt by his mom.
Now that he’s grown up, he expects to be treated like a prince, or else you’ll be “just like them.” So even if you just don’t feel like going out that night because you are PMSing, or you need to wake up early tomorrow for a presentation, he complains about how you treat him. Never seeing that maybe HE is the [Read: Manchild alert – 23 signs you’re dating an immature prick ].
If he grew up being the apple of his mom’s eyes and gets the royal treatment each time he comes home to his parents, then you have a pampered little boy in a man’s body. Growing up where his mom gives him whatever he wants gives him a false sense of entitlement. He feels like he deserves to get what he wants even if he doesn’t work hard for it.
Observe this by the way he treats his mom. If she helps him and he acts like he deserves the help and doesn’t say “Thanks,” then he will definitely act that way with you.
Besides, he always expects to have his mom clean up his mess for him and would often act irresponsibly. So, if you’re in a relationship with this kind of man, and he expects you to come feed and walk his dog and clean up his place for him, don’t expect to have a “Thank you, dear” coming your way anytime soon. [Read: 15 things immature men do all the time and why you need to stay away from them ]
If he is emotionally enmeshed with his mom *mama’s boy* then you can expect him to go to all lengths to please his mom. When his mom comes over to meet you for the first time, he will tell you to dress a certain way, not talk about certain topics, cook her favorite dish a certain way, do this, do that… In other words, he wants to try very hard to please his mom. And you also have to, at the expense of your own authenticity and security.
Your boyfriend feels very self-conscious when his mom is around, and it’s highly likely he will have a hard time forgiving you if you ever upset her with a supposedly innocent comment.
It’s great to have a healthy relationship with your mom, and of course, your parents. But is your boyfriend’s mom the best thing that ever happened to him? Does he love her more than anything else, and place her on a pedestal all the time? Does he take her side when she criticizes you with a smirk on her face? Well, it’s time to pack your bags because he isn’t looking for a girlfriend. He’s looking for another slave to serve his mother.
Do you see quite a few of these signs of mommy issues in your man? You can help him to some extent, but at the end of the day, he must deal with it by himself. If he cannot get past his past and continues to be an asshole to you just to be nice to his mom, then maybe it is time to get away from him and his mommy issues.
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.
Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox!
All rights reserved. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited.

Originally Published: March 9, 2021
A Trauma Counselor Shared The Heartbreaking Things Her Child & Teen Clients Have Told Her
13 Empowering Children’s Books For World Mental Health Day
Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches.
© 2022 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
I have clinical anxiety. And while I have diagnosed general anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder, it’s the GAD that’s a real bitch. “Generalized” can mean any number of things, and for me, “ generalized anxiety ” translates into fixations. By “fixations,” I mean that my anxiety makes me obsess over things that most people would either consider minor inconveniences or remote possibilities. A fixation can be brutal: it jolts you awake at night. It invades your dreams. It pervades your days and invades your thoughts.
For example, my current fixation happens to be a home invasion. I have three (very, very) large dogs, including a 110-pound, immaculately trained German Shepherd that would eat anyone who threatened us. My house is nigh on impossible, according to my husband, to break into. However, I can’t stop thinking about it. I cry running through horrific scenarios of… I’m not getting into them here, other than to say they involve scary men breaking into my home.
I can’t stop this fixation. I come to my husband in tears. “It won’t go away,” I tell him again.
My husband has had to buy any number of security items. A raging liberal who believes no one has any reason to own anything but a permitted shotgun for hunting, I’ve contemplated buying a pistol. These thoughts will not go away. I’ve tried all my DBT therapy: my “teflon mind” trick, where I let ideas slide off my mind as if it were made of teflon. I’ve tried acknowledging those thoughts and moving on. Most of all, I’ve tried replacing them. It doesn’t work. So I down another Klonopin and wait.
I’ve written about how my anxiety has manifested as an obsession about loved ones dying. This one at least made sense: I had a loved one die when I was nineteen. For years afterwards, significant others leaving my side terrified me. I obsessed over their deaths. If they weren’t in my line of sight, they could be dying in any manner you could imagine. I lived in horror.
When I was pregnant with my first son, my husband went to a Phish concert for three days. I spent three days weeping over his certain doom (he knew I wasn’t in a great place and I still haven’t quite forgiven him for that one). I slammed awake at night. I laid in bed imagining different ways he could meet his demise. That fixation was a brutal, horrible way to live.
A fixation isn’t strictly rational. That’s part of its nature: it doesn’t make sense. But some are more bizarre than others. After the birth of my third son, I became convinced that his head would fall off. It terrified me. I have no idea why; I also didn’t know why I had a strange fixation on the tininess of his internal organs. It scared the hell out of me. I’d lie awake at night obsessing over my son’s teensy kidneys.
That’s when I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and they upped my meds.
Right now, any small noise sends me jumping. I can’t answer my own door. During my fixation on my husband’s death, I ramped up his anxiety. “You’re making me feel like I actually might die when I walk out the door,” he’d say to me. When I became obsessed that I wasn’t homeschooling my kids well enough, my husband had to deal with my tears and my breakdowns. My kids had to cope with longer school days.
This is in addition to coping with my usually high levels of anxiety, which can leave me snappish and difficult to live with.
A fixation can be exhausting. People forget that depression and anxiety physically hurt. According to Healthline , because your body is in constant fight-or-flight mode, anxiety tenses your muscles, which can make your whole body hurt. It’s also exhausting. Some days I have to take a nap because I’m tired from simply existing. That’s time missed playing with my kids, cleaning my house, and hanging out with my husband.
A fixation can also affect your sleep. I have trouble going to sleep when I’m fixating — sometimes I literally can’t fall asleep without my husband in our room. When I wake, I have to cuddle against him, which disrupts his sleep. Then I wake early, early: four am, four thirty. I go to bed earlier, missing more time with my kids, more time with my husband.
When I find myself wading through a fixation, I usually need my meds tweaked. Maybe I need more anti-anxiety drugs. Maybe I need more of another drug. Since I’m already using all my tricks from therapy, more of that usually doesn’t help much, though I keep going anyway.
If you find yourself slamming from fixation to fixation, you aren’t alone. It’s a common symptom of an anxiety disorder. And if you’re not already seeing a therapist and/or a psychiatrist, you need to, and soon. If you already are, you need to be honest about how that fixation is affecting your life and how realistic it really is. While it’s usually a sign I need my meds tweaked, it may be a sign that you need a different type of therapy, or even a different therapist. What’s not normal: living with that fixation. You can free yourself from it. Help is available. You only have to find it.
This article was originally published on March 9, 2021

Japan Grandma Sex
Little Site Sex
Handjob Red

Mommy Fixation

Report Page