Mom Watches Me Masturbate

Mom Watches Me Masturbate
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I used to masturbate in front of my grandmother.
I used to masturbate in front of my grandmother.
Comment deleted by user · 7 yr. ago
Comment deleted by user · 7 yr. ago
/r/Confession is a place to admit your wrongdoings, acknowledge your guilt, and alleviate your conscience.
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My grandmother and I have always gotten along very well. We have similar personalities, and similar interests. When I would visit her, we would spend all day playing chess and doing crossword/Sudoku puzzles together. I know it sounds lame for a guy to enjoy those things with his grandmother but I genuinely enjoyed visiting her. I'm the odd one out in my family and she's the only one I've ever felt similar to. She died earlier this week. We held her funeral today. Ever since, I've been thinking a lot about her and I feel like I need to tell someone this.
We lived in separate cities so I only used to visit her roughly once every four weeks. I would stay for the weekend, sometimes more if it was school holidays. I'm not exactly sure how it began but it happened when I was between 13 and 14 - I started masturbating in front of her. Over the space of 18 months or so it happened 50+ times. Sometimes I would do it while sitting on the opposite side of the couch, other times I would sit on one of the dining room chairs while she was in the kitchen and sometimes I did it while I was standing a few meters away while she was in the laundry or kitchen. She would always stop what she was doing, turn and just watch me intently until I was finished and then she would return to her prior task. We would just look at each in silence as I did it. She never touched me at all and we never said anything about it. Even to this day, despite our close relationship, she has not said a single thing about it. Most of the time when I was finished, I would get dressed and then go and cuddle with her. She always accepted me with open arms. As weird as it sounds, it was very comforting to feel completely accepted by someone even if it was my grandmother. Girls my age never paid attention to me and I think acceptance was all I wanted deep down. I was never sexually attracted to her, I just felt as though I had some sort of connection with her - which at 13, I couldn't really comprehend.
I was young, I didn't fully understand what I was doing and she never once told me to stop (if she had I would have immediately), but I still feel very bad about it. I knew what sex was at the time, but to be honest I never really put the pieces together. She's the only person in my family who's ever really put in the effort to try and connect with me, and I've tainted her memory in my mind. I enjoyed it at the time but I really hate that I did this and I regret it immensely. I'm sorry Grandma.
Daaaaaang. I've read some shit in this subreddit, but this takes the cake.
This takes the cake, the main meal, the appetisers, the snacks, and the whole fridge. Wow.
Now just imagine if he had broken his arms!
I know, it's pretty screwed up :/. I was only 13, I think I deserve a little slack.
I can't even begin to speculate, but I am sorry you lost a person whom you felt very deeply for.
For some reason my brain just doesn't want to believe that she had any sexual feelings for you. Did she have any sons? Maybe she just didn't know what to do. Maybe she thought it was a phase and didn't want to make a huge scene over it so she just did what she thought you wanted and knew/hoped it would pass. I really don't know.
You were just a kid and even though you knew what sex was, you were still young and in the stage of pushing boundaries. When no real reprimand came you may have just rationalized that it was OK. People aren't born knowing what is right and what is wrong.
For real. Like if a baby gets an erection, you just ignore it, right?
She had a daughter (my mom) and two sons.
When no real reprimand came you may have just rationalized that it was OK.
I think that's probably true. In the beginning I remember my heart would be pounding, and I was terrified of what would happen. As time went on it definitely became more normalized in my mind.
How did this start? Did you just wip it out one day or what?
The first time I had just gotten out of the shower. I went to the kitchen to get a drink and I somehow got distracted and ended up sitting on the couch watching TV. She was sitting on the couch opposite me. From there it just sort of happened, I don't remember the exact details. It was several years ago.
The title was quite descriptive. You chose to proceed haha.
My grandma's funeral was today too. Hopefully I don't know you.
No, she didn't. She has been battling pancreatic cancer for many years, but I imagine that wouldn't have made much of a difference - especially since it happened numerous times.
It sounds like your grandmother loved you very much, understood your situation, and wanted to give you the support that you needed.
Thanks :). I like to think so, but I feel bad at the same time.
You're a guy, we all do weird shit with our dicks when we're young, because we are learning to process sexual feelings and don't know yet how to express them the right way. Maybe in a way, your grandma knew that and that's why she never said anything.
Well, I guess that's better than doing it behind her.

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I used to masturbate while my brother watched.
I used to masturbate while my brother watched.
Comment removed by moderator · 7 yr. ago
/r/Confession is a place to admit your wrongdoings, acknowledge your guilt, and alleviate your conscience.
Reddit Inc © 2022. All rights reserved
When I was around 12-13, I would often catch my brother spying on me when I was in the shower. He was 17 at the time. He would quietly open the bathroom door and look in the mirror on the back wall, assuming I couldn't see him. It happened almost every time I had a shower - almost every day. He would stay there until I turned the water off and then he would leave. Sometimes sooner if I spooked him.
He was older than me and I had always felt like I could trust him, so I never felt threatened or anything. Even though he was my brother, I knew that he was attractive, my friends always told me he was. So I let him watch me. The truth is that I liked the feeling of him looking at me. At some point, I started touching myself when he was watching. It started off as innocent washing but became masturbation over time. I know it sounds pretty gross, but it made me feel more mature at the time. Thankfully, I never told him I knew he was watching and it only went on for a year or so before he went off to college. I don't really know what I was thinking.
No sense bringing it up if he doesnt. If it bothers you later, there's therapy and other options and honestly, cross thst bridge when you reach it. Maybe you decide that you did enjoy it. Thats fine too, we cant control what makes us curiius. We can only control how we take the experience. For now, put it on the shelf and move on. No harm no foul
He was probably just horny as shit and would look at anything. As long as he never acted on it physically.
Slow your roll pal, were you in your right mind 24/7 when you were 17? I thought not.
And maybe attend Church/Synagog/,etc. or where-ever you worship your God a few extra times a day (if you worship at all).
I hope the downvoting was because of the spelling, or is that a trendy abbreviation?
Could someone explain to me why this guy looks like he was brigaded? I mean he's offering decent advice in my opinion..
I said it above and ill say it again. Calling him a creep and a pedo? Why? Were you in your right mind when you were 17? Was every decision you made a good decision?
Any male at 17 is going to be horny most of the time. Its just how the late stages of puberty and testosterone work. Doesn't mean he was attracted or wanted any part of OP, but he was just curious. Like any other 17 year old male or female you'll find.

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