Mom Wants

Mom Wants

9 Warning Signs Your Mom Wants to Sleep With Your Boyfriend

By Sarah Burke

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We’ve all seen American Pie . We know that there are plenty of “cougars” out there prowling the streets for younger men to sleep with.
That’s all fine and dandy… as long as those younger men aren’t our boyfriends and those middle aged women aren’t our mothers. What if, for some unspeakable reason, your mom had her eyes set on your man? Could you even tell the difference between your mom bonding with your boyfriend in a healthy way or in a sexy way?
Here are some tell-tale signs that your mama might be looking closer to home for a man to can quench her appetite.
She’s more interested in greeting him than she is you. It’s lovely when your parents and your partner get along. It really is.
But you’re their child, not him. Unless you’ve been with your baby for a hell of a long time – so long that he’s become like a second son to your family, and then he went on a really long trip somewhere – there is absolutely no reason your mom should be pushing you to the side to greet him. Get your guy and run.
She comments on his physical appearance… a lot. “Oh, you’re so muscly! Oh, you’re so strong! Have you been working out?” – Please. And yes, his eyes are blue. Yes, they’re beautiful. Yes, he has long eyelashes. Yes, he has a nice smile! YES, HE IS ATTRACTIVE. HENCE THE WHOLE BOYFRIEND THING. If this sounds like just harmless flirting, imagine for a second if the roles were reversed and his dad were saying these kinds of things to you? It’d be creepy, right?
She asks him personal questions about past relationships. His past relationships are his business, and if you’re lucky, he might share his stories with you. People ask about past relationships to gather information that could have some kind of effect on your present relationship together. For example, you might want to know how many partners they’ve had, were they together very long, or if they’re still in contact with each other. What could your mother possibly want to know about his past relationships? How about: Has he ever been with an older woman? Whatever the reason for her asking, this crosses some serious personal boundaries. Don’t let it slide.
She sends him overly friendly texts. “Hi, I hope you’re having a great day 🙂 xx” – is something you should be sending your boyfriend, not your mom. And no, these aren’t generic texts that everyone’s getting. You sure didn’t. If you’re lucky, your boyfriend will be just as freaked out by these texts as you are and he’ll just come straight out and tell you about them. But for the unlucky few, you might not have a guy that sees anything wrong with this behavior. But there are always ways to see your man’s texts. I’m not saying spy on him. No. That’s not healthy. However, when he gets a text and you happen to be beside his phone fast enough to see the preview pop up, well… that’s not really you’re fault, is it?
She calls him when you’re out together. It’s annoying when your guy takes a phone call when you’re out together, especially if you’re trying to get some 1-on-1 time together. But usually it’s just the guys. But if you’re mom’s calling him, that’s just plain weird. Unless they’re planning some elaborate party for you (uh… yes, please!), your mom has some explaining to do. Right. Now. Oh, and don’t forget to politely ask him not to answer any more of your mom’s phone calls.
She’s at his beck and call when he’s in your house. Your mom never offers you (or even your friends) a beverage when you visit, but when he’s there she’s all, “Can I grab you a beer? Some steak? A new Ferrari??” Just to make things worse (and to make you look like an awful human being with no manners whatsoever), she might even call you out for not offering him drinks or food (probably because she jumped in there first, thank you very much!). If she doesn’t act like this with any of her other guests, then it’s a pretty obvious sign that Mama Bear wants to take your meat for herself. Hands off, bitch.
She dresses up when she knows he’s coming over. A lot of us dress up when we’re expecting guests – it’s pretty standard. But your mother isn’t donning her best pearls and a pretty cardigan. Nuh uh. This woman – who supposedly birthed you – is walking around with her tits out, red lipstick on, wearing so much perfume that you gag if you get too close, and she’s managed to squirm into a tight lil number. Oh, and she’s sporting heels that you couldn’t even walk in. If you see your mother dolling herself up for what looks like a night at the club, it might be best to call your man and make plans to eat out instead. I hear that new Chinese place around the corner is great.
She gets drunk and starts to flirt with him. There’s something really creepy about seeing your own mother flirt, even when it’s with men her own age… but with your boyfriend? Not cool. Moms have this way of pretending like their flirtations are just a bit of “fun,” and sometimes it’s hard to call her out on it without seeming like a prude. If you can’t tame the beast, then maybe you guys just need to call it an early night…
She goes in for the kiss. You’re screwed. Well, actually he is. My sincerest condolences.
Sarah is a full-time content marketer, part-time freelancer. She’s a serial hobbyist (which just means that she does a lot of random things, but none of them particularly well). Her real talent lies in her ability to consume copious amounts of wine, whilst discussing feminism and reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the 8th time… All while saving puppies from burning houses, of course. You can see more of her work here , or pop over to Twitter and say “‘ello ‘ello” @daughterdipstik
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A quiz that tells you what’s holding you back in love Check out Sweetn , the first self-care company focused on your love life . Take their fun and scientific quiz to get personalized insights, recommendations, and proven tools to help you make sense of your love life, find the right partner, and create the relationship you deserve. Just click here !

Sarah Burke
Sarah is a full-time content marketer, part-time freelancer. She’s a serial hobbyist (which just means that she does a lot of random things, but none of them particularly well). Her real talent lies in her ability to consume copious amounts of wine, whilst discussing feminism and reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the 8th time... All while saving puppies from burning houses, of course. You can see more of her work here, or pop over to Twitter and say “‘ello ‘ello” @daughterdipstik

Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
This Mom Wants You to Know That She Fucks
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Bella Hadid in 'Ramy'
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Jennette McCurdy
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Bella Hadid in 'Ramy'
Jezebel's Crush of the Week: Jennette McCurdy
It is rare that this happens, but everything about this story of a mother outing herself for being the loudest fucker in all of Brooklyn is an absolute joy.
If you live in an apartment building, a dorm room, or any otherwise shared domestic arrangement, chances are you’ve heard some people fucking. If you lived in this one apartment building in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, chances are you heard someone fucking with such passionate vigor that you were compelled to lodge noise complaints with 311. Now, two years after the initial complaint , the loud fucker has been brought to light.
Olga Valerio, 49, revealed herself to the New York Post as the source of the noise, participating in “carnal cacophony” with—the best part, really—the building’s “handyman,” a 26-year-old named Byron Perez. The sounds of their lovemaking were so loud that neighbors reportedly “complained a half-dozen times alone in a three-month period.” To be fair to Valerio and her hot young piece, that’s not really that many times to complain about anything—it’s two times a month on average, if you assume that all the other times they were fucking were quieter, more reverential and with less grunting. Why did everyone hear this? Why were they compelled to call 311? Valerio and Perez used to do it with the window open during their “wee-hour whoopie,” allowing the mellifluous sounds of their passion to carry out into the summer night.
Valerio felt compelled to come clean because at the time of DNA Info’s initial report about the complaints, various media outlets were pinning the source on her daughter, 31-year-old Dahiana. Let us be clear— Dahiana was not the source of the loud fucking, it was her mom. I’m sure Dahiana is thrilled about this. Congratulations Dahiana, you’re finally free!

Producer’s note: excerpted from Reddit user thisismyincestthrow , who is over 18.
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We live in a small apartment (one bedroom), so I see a lot of her, and we’re not a super private family. It’s just seeing her in her bra and panties every so often, and sometimes she’ll take off her bra in front of me (turning away from me, don’t get too excited). There were a few incidents when I was first discovering how to jerk off and everything where I’d sort of peek at her changing. During that time I only ever saw her tits, and it was less a “my mom is hot” thing than a “ooh, boobs” thing. Long story short, she caught me looking and I stopped.
But her tits, holy shit. Again, I wasn’t thinking about her like that then, but I recognized amazing tits when I saw them, and these were great. About as big as they could be without getting gross and too droopy, and good shape and everything. Anyway.
The recent event: Yesterday, she told me in the morning that she was going out for the whole day until 5:00ish or so, and being a teenager on summer break I figured alright, great chance to jerk off. So pretty much the second she’s out the door, I kick out on the sofa (the sofa’s facing the door) with my laptop, get naked and bring up a porn video I love (it’s the one with Zoey Holloway with her son going away to college).
I’m really hard, I have vaseline and everything, really into it when I hear the door slam shut, and I look up and my mom’s standing right fucking there, staring at my vaseline covered dick with my hand around it. And the worst part–I’d set my laptop away from me so I didn’t have time to turn off the sound before my Mom had heard Zoey Holloway say “Cum for mommy” (and the sound was very, very high, there was no way she didn’t hear it).
But here’s the weird part: Mom didn’t freak out, she didn’t run out the door or anything, she just sort of stood there looking at me with her mouth a little open.
But I instinctually freak, yelling like “Mom, what the fuck, look away”, all of that, and after like a minute she replies with “Sorry, I had to get my debit card” really casually.
Alright, still – pretty normal story albeit with a weird addition. But after this, I don’t know, it feels like something changed. She came home and I thought there’d be no mention of it, but the first thing she asked was, “Have a good time while I was out?” with a little grin and then hugged me a little.
That’s not too weird but for us, we barely ever hug or kiss or anything, so I felt like it had some more meaning.
And later, she took a shower and came into the living room to talk to me in just a bathrobe and a towel on her head. Like I said, seeing each other partially naked isn’t that weird, but usually it’s a fast thing. Here she sat with me for a long time on the sofa and had a conversation about the coming school year in just the bathrobe, and I have to admit, I got kind of hard from the conversation. She sort of leaned forward, and I had to move to hide the fact that I was hard. But when we were done, she just got up and walked inside.
And an addendum: since this happened, I’ve been fantasizing about her more, too. I masturbated again after the bathrobe incident, and though I wasn’t interested in doing anything with her before now, I gotta say, she was the only person on my mind that time.Thoughts? How should I proceed? Does she want something from me or should I maintain the status quo? Help!
This post originally appeared on Reddit .
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Just have your mom and dad get it on at the same time. Hell, you can even invite the neighbors over and have a full out orgy.. Yeah!

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hahaha well if u look at his other posts at 1 point he said he saw mommy masterbating and wondered if he should tell her she turned him on..lol seems like fantasy or lies
or at leastt sum1 needin therapy

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Discussion in ' Free Love ' started by allthat , Nov 1, 2006 .

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