Mom Thought She Was Home Alone

Mom Thought She Was Home Alone
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By the time you read this blog post, my family will have gone away and left me home alone for the weekend, then returned -- presumably with tales to tell. Borrowing two expressions frequently heard from the teenagers who visit my house on a regular basis: It feels totally weird and makes me want to LOL.
Author, Acquisitions/Editor for Jim Donovan Literary
Apr 8, 2013, 09:43 AM EDT | Updated Jun 8, 2013
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Author, Acquisitions/Editor for Jim Donovan Literary
By the time you read this blog post, my family will have gone away and left me home alone for the weekend, then returned -- presumably with tales to tell. Borrowing two expressions frequently heard from the teenagers who visit my house on a regular basis: It feels totally weird and makes me want to LOL . And by that I mean: I have no idea what I'm going to do first, because I am somewhere between giddy and uh-oh.
It's been said that one of the hardest things for someone with unstructured time to do is to manage how they spend it. As a freelance writer with two children, I figured out early on that in order to be productive and to meet everyone's needs, I'd have to develop a routine and stick to it. When my oldest son left for college, my routine was adjusted -- I subtracted a few responsibilities that he soon acquired himself. This weekend, with my husband and youngest son out of town, I will get a glimpse of what life will look like come next fall when both my sons are away at school. Clearly, I'm going to have some time to fill... or to readjust... or both.
So, I listed several ways I might spend my precious two days and nights alone:
I could tap into my domestic diva persona and organize overflowing kitchen cabinets and drawers and photos that nobody looks at anymore.
I could dust all the blinds and ceiling fans.
I could paint the trim in my laundry room.
I could surprise my son and clean his room for him.
I could explore my inner girlie-girl and go window shopping, or try on clothes and shoes for two days straight. Or until I'm hungry. Especially since I know I will get hungry long before the two days are up.
I could have a party. I think we still have our very old, very large, wooden Bose speakers. They use those at parties, don't they?
I could eat out when I want, where I want, any time of the day I want.
I could forgo meals and just eat snacks and drink milkshakes and nobody would be able to hear me slurp those last delicious molecules.
I could spend the weekend at the library reading and not say a word to anyone.
I could pretend I'm in Hawaii at a writer's conference where it's warm and there's a breeze and just write, write, write.
Or maybe I could stay in my bathrobe all weekend.
And watch all "The Big Bang Theory" episodes I missed over the last two years.
I could do a little bit of everything, and a big bit of nothing.
From this day forward I will remember to give myself permission to do things that have nothing to do with being a mom and everything to do with me re-discovering how to be me.
And I will learn to be OK with that even if it makes me feel totally weird and want to LOL .
Join me next Monday for another installment of The Pre-Empt Chronicles, as I transition from full house to empty nest.
Author, Acquisitions/Editor for Jim Donovan Literary

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All signs pointed toward me being gay, but to my mom and relatives I was just a kid having fun. I was fabulous that night and I knew it; that is, until my father walked in and saw me.
Oral Fixation is a live true, personal storytelling series for adults dedicated to community building and social change.
Feb 19, 2014, 02:42 PM EST | Updated Dec 6, 2017
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Oral Fixation is a live true, personal storytelling series for adults dedicated to community building and social change.
This story was written and performed by Mike Thompson for the live, personal storytelling series Oral Fixation (An Obsession With True Life Tales) at the McKinney Avenue Contemporary in Dallas, Texas, on March 13, 2012. The theme of the show was "One Night Stand."
"Watching Mike read his story on the night of the show was electrifying- like watching him come out of the closet right there onstage," says Oral Fixation creator Nicole Stewart . "I admire his strength to share this once painful but ultimately uplifting story of looking shame in the eye and choosing love."
I had a one-night stand with my mother. Now, before you go crazy on me, let's rewind for a bit to get some history behind this little love affair.
Growing up, I was the only child of an American-born U.S. soldier and a bombshell of a lady from Vietnam. His name was Gary, and hers, Lieú. It's the classic story of soldier meets beautiful Asian lady. Asian lady says, "Five dolla, love you long time." Little did my dad know that the five dollars he spent was well worth the return. They fell madly in love and after his tour in Vietnam, my dad flew back to ask for her hand in marriage. Four years later, I came along.
From early childhood there was so much expected of me. I was going to "grow up and do great things," my dad would say. I was immersed in sports, all kinds of academia, church and developed a huge group of friends. I was one of the cool kids back in my day. Even though I had everything going for me, deep down I was struggling as most kids do at some point. I felt there was another part of me that wanted to be free and I couldn't figure out what it was.
I was 8 years old when it became clear. Picture this: a banana in hand for a microphone, prancing around the living room in my mother's long, flowy nightgown, Donna Summer's 45 of "Last Dance" spinning on the record player and yours truly lip-syncing my little heart out. If you haven't figured it out yet, all signs pointed toward me being gay, but to my mom and relatives I was just a kid having fun. I was fabulous that night and I knew it; that is, until my father walked in and saw me. The look on his face was enough to make me feel like I had done something wrong. His eyes were full of shame and disgust as he turned and stormed out of the room.
For several years after, I hid in the little closet I created to protect myself. Outwardly, I was perky, playful and content but inside I continued to feel unhappy, confused and at times suicidal. When my friends started dating, my father hassled me about not having a girlfriend. One evening it came to this: "So, why is it that all of your friends have girlfriends and you don't, Michael?" he would say. "Why do you think I need a girlfriend? Don't you always want me to focus on school, sports and church? You know, 'to grow up and do great things?'" I replied. "Michael, don't you think that would include a wife and kids eventually?" he pressed. "Dad, I am in high school! I don't want or need a girlfriend right now." Without hesitation he said, "Well, you better not be a faggot!"
With my heart beating, emotions flaring and hands trembling, I muttered the words "I'm not" as I turned and slammed the door on my proverbial closet. It was conversations like this that started a broken record of messages that I played over and over in my head: "I am not normal. He won't approve. He won't love me."
Aside from my own internal conflicts, there was a constant tension in my house and happiness was a rarity. Mom and Dad always seemed annoyed, angry or sad. I guess we were all just good at keeping silent when it came to things that mattered. That silence was broken when my father chose to kill himself.
I was 16 when my neighbor and I found him in the garage with the car running. We pulled him out and tried to breathe life into him, but he was pale and solid as a rock. He gave nothing back -- he was gone. This was the first time I experienced death. I was filled with every emotion imaginable and I was surprised that these emotions included happiness. I was happy because I was free from my father, and the hold he had on my life.
With my father gone, I assumed the role of being the man of the house and took on all the things my father did. I took care of the house and cars, bought groceries, did taxes, helped pay the bills and made sure my mother was taken care of and healthy. She was all I had when it came to family, and we got really close. I gave her almost everything I could at the time. What I couldn't give her was the honesty of who I was and what I was truly thinking and feeling. I continued my "normal" life but the next seven years in the closet were the darkest years of my life. I internalized the same pressures of success and family from my mom and I couldn't help but play that same broken record: "I am not normal. She won't approve. She won't love me."
Jan. 4, 2002: I was 23 and had just moved home from college. I was in my childhood room unpacking my belongings, looking at old pictures of my family all together and "happy," listening to the same oldies that my father enjoyed all while reminiscing about my life in that house. For years I had not shed a tear over my father's death, or over the exhausting task of caring for my mother and especially not over the darkness I lived in. But in that moment, with years of images and words flooding my memory, I cried my heart out.
Hearing me, my mother came to my room to see what was going on because this was not normal for me. She sat beside me and asked in her broken English, "What wrong, Michael, what happened to you?" With my heart beating, emotions flaring and hands trembling I played it off saying I was sad school was over. As with most mothers, her instinct set in and she knew it was much deeper than that. She then grabbed my hand and looked deep into my eyes and said, "It okay Michael, you can tell Mommy truth."
She let me feel what I was feeling while holding my hand and waiting for me to answer. Looking at her, I could no longer stand it. I couldn't cry any more and no amount of prayer could help me out of the depth of sorrow I was in. So in climactic fashion, I kicked down my closet door and said it: "I'M GAY!"
Without hesitation she replied, "Michael, are you sure?" With my palm to my forehead I answered, "Oh my God, Mom, I'm crying my ass off, I have tissue everywhere, snot hanging out my nose and you ask if I am sure?! Yes mom, I'm gay." We both sat there for a minute in silence and waited for our hearts to calm. The weight fell off my shoulders and now I could see she was bearing some weight from the revelation that I was gay. We then started the game of 20 questions beginning with, "When did you know?"
"Umm do you remember when I was singing in your dress?" I started. "Ooooooh, Mommy remember," she interrupted with a small chuckle. "Daddy get so mad when he see you act like girl. He don't talk to Mommy for two days. Mommy think maybe you gay but Mommy not sure. You look so happy sing a song with banana."
As the night went on we continued to have conversations about my father, how I was going to tell other relatives, my worries, fears and eventually my hopes and dreams. This impromptu tryst of sorts was a huge relief because I was able to speak freely and honestly after not being able to for so long.
It was rounding 2 a.m. when my mom finally asked me what motivated me to come out. I shared this quote by Oscar Wilde: "To love one's self is the beginning of a life-long romance." After explaining to her what that meant, three beautiful words came from her mouth, "I love you."
It was the first time in a long time she said that, and it felt incredible to know I had her love and support. Since then, my life has been what I always dreamed it to be and much more. I feel happy and free to be myself, I have made many wonderful friends and I now have a beautiful man in my life that loves and supports me. I can proudly say I have "grown up and done some great things" like my parents wanted.
It all began when I chose that one-night to stand and love myself.
Oral Fixation is a live true, personal storytelling series for adults dedicated to community building and social change.

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I'm a 22 year old girl and I'm very bi. I have had like this sexual crush on my aunt who is 47 for a about 2 years. She has these beautiful huge t*** and I always wanted to see them. I would make comments to her occasionally and my Mom would tell me to stop. My aunt would just laugh and kind of tease me. One weekend she was at our house and my Mom was grocery shopping and my aunt was in the shower. I went to her room to wait for her to see if she wanted to watch a movie. I sat on the bed until she came out of the shower. She was wearing a towel when she came in to the room. When she came in she asked me if my Mom was home and I told her no. She walked over to me and said," you've wanted to see my t*** haven't you?" I was shocked but told her yes. She then asked me I could keep a secret and I told her yes. She told me if I said anything to Mom or my friends she would get into trouble. I told her I wouldn't ever say anything. She stood in front of me and dropped her towel. Oh my God. She was naked and her big t*** were right in front of me! I started breathing hard when I looked down at her p**** . It was so incredibly hairy and I had never seen a mature woman naked or anyone with hair like that. She said, "do you like it?" I said, "oh my God Aunt Susan, I have never seen an older woman's p**** and never hairy." Her t*** were so big and looked so soft and her areolas were big around and light brown. After just a few minutes her nipples stuck out! I was so nervous I could barely talk. I looked up at her and said, "Aunt Susan this is amazing. I love seeing you." When I said that, she stepped closer to me sand her p**** was right at my face! She leaned forward and her t*** hung in front of me. I didn't know what to say or do. I looked up at her and said, "your nipples are very hard and this kind of excites me." She said, "it excites me too, do you want to touch them?" I got this feeling all through me. I could me heart racing and I felt really warm. I said,"yes." I reached up and touched them with both hands. She started like moaning and told me it felt good. She then started touching her p**** while I was massaging her t*** . I was so turned on I blurted out, "Aunt Susan can we have s** ." She said, "we can't". But then I said, we all ready are." She came around and sat on the bed next to me and said, "listen, we can't do this, we would get in so much trouble." I said, "but do you want to?" She said, "oh my God this is crazy, yes,I do." She laid back on the bed. I was still sitting up, turned and looking at her. I couldn't stop staring at her p**** . It was just such a turn on for me. My mouth was dry and could feel myself breathing. Without saying anything, Aunt Susan spread her legs and I was looking right at her lips! They were big and her hair was thick around them. I said, "Oh my God Aunt Susan, that is so hot." She started fingering herself. I was light headed and without thinking, I put my hands on her thighs. She grabbed my wrist and brought it to her p**** and whispered, "finger me." I put two fingers in her and I remember it was so hot and she was incredibly wet. Then I put in three and she moaned and said, "that's it, yes, oh God yes, finger me sweetie." I did this for a minute until she told me she needed more. I put in a forth finger and then she grabbed my wrist with both of her hands and pulled it in. She whispered, "put your hand in me please." I tucked in my thumb and pushed my hand in to her up to my wrist. She was saying, "make me c** , f*** me honey." I f***** her with my hand in and out, her hips were bucking and all of a sudden she said, "pull it out...now." I pulled my hand out and at that point something happened that changed my s** knowledge and experience.She squirted. It shot out and hit me in the chest, then a second squirt and then a third. She pulled her lips apart and said, "do you want to lick me?" Just as I was saying yes, we heard the garage door and that meant my Mom was home.We knew we had about three minutes by the time she got the groceries out of the car and up the stairs. I laid on my stomach and leaned in and licked and sucked her lips. I sucked up and down. She was so wet, I loved it. I licked faster and faster. The whole thing was so bizarre and so hot. Aunt Susan pulled her legs back and her ass went in the air. I darted my tongue in her deep and then I heard the door downstairs. I jumped up and ran to my room and shut her door on the way out. We went downstairs and met Mom.She asked me what we had been doing and I told her I was in my room and Aunt Susan was in the shower.
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