Mom Son Story

Mom Son Story




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"Marry James?" Kenny's look was nasty. He waited for an answer as he noticed his mother's nervousness. She always looked around the room when she was stumbling for words.
It was just the other day he reminded her, dad had left three years ago. He often thought of mom getting married again, but to James?
What would she say? Would she even answer him?
He kept his eyes steady, a little sad at his mother's discomfort. Maybe this wasn't the right time to ask. But he had to know.
"Mommm," an impatient whine dragged on his tongue.
"Well Kenny, you know James has been coming around
more often lately...and yes, it has been discussed..."
"I knew it! I just knew it!" he exploded. "Why didn't you ask me how I might feel?" Without giving his mother a chance to answer Kenny grabbed his schoolbooks and rushed out of the room.
A steady drumming of foot-thuds could be heard as he pounded upstairs. Each step stomped out a message, "I'm upset. I'm upset." Echoes of his feet attack on the stairs soon faded away.
How could she think about marrying again? What's wrong with her…gee whiz, mom.
Slumping on his bed, Kenny thought of dad who had been gone since the winter the boy had turned nine. "My leaving has nothing to do with you. I'll always love you," dad said. Then he stepped out of his life, like a fading ghost. There were times Kenny cried like a baby, over something he knew was missing in his life.
He kicked off his sneakers and bent to peel off his socks. Lying on his back, arms tucked under his head, he scanned the room carefully.
His eyes took in the pennant from Halifax and pictures of he and mom. Also himself and his buddy Troy, taken at Boy Scout Summer Camp last year.
Kenny sat up and placed his feet on the cool floor, then walked slowly to the window. He knew he had the best view in Sheldon, a village of 200 people near Truro, Nova Scotia. His house sat on a hill overlooking the highway. He felt like an owl settled on a branch watching the world move along.
The collection of old houses, trailers and newly aluminum-sided buildings straddled both sides of Highway 104.
They were like salt sprinkled at random.
Right now the stars were bright, their luminous eyes keeping him company. He could see the Big Dipper or β€˜Ursa Major’ as he learned in school.
"It's tough growing up," he said aloud. He knew he was acting silly but things seemed much simpler when he was younger.
He enjoyed staring out the window at night, elbows on the window-sill, chin cradled in his hands. There was a time when he dreamed of being an astronomer or 'star-gazer.' Everything seemed so peaceful up there.
His brow furrowed when he thought a lot. And he was thinking about Larry, his neighbor who took him fishing last Saturday.
He would make a great dad. But he's already married with grown up kids of his own. "So I'll probably end up getting stuck with someone like James," Kenny sighed.
It wouldn't be so bad if James didn't have to work all the time. He never took him anywhere. And he's so strict. Kenny continued to look out the window as his mind raced along on a merry-go-round of memories.
Tiredly he made his way back to bed and flung himself down. He was too sleepy to even climb under the sheets and pull up his covers.
His mind re-lived events from last Saturday when Larry took him fishing. It had been a perfect day. "This is really neat," Kenny had said, eyes dancing with excitement. Kenny really liked Larry.
The first time they had met was last year when Kenny began a paper route. Kenny had marched up the front steps. "Would you like to take the weekly? He had asked. "I guarantee good service, how about it?"
"Call me Larry," the man had said, "unless your parents object."
"That's cool. My mom won't mind. She's divorced and she lets me make lots of decisions."
Since then he had met Larry's wife and even had a tour of their big old house which used to be a church manse. Imagine, the place was over 140 years old.
He learned to play chess with Larry and had come over many times to help pile wood and mow the grass. It soon become his second home.
Larry didn't pay money for chores. "Instead I'll be glad to take you hiking or even go on a fishing trip,” he had said.
Now his dreaming relived that awesome trip last weekend to Economy Lake, ten miles north of Bass River village.
His sleepy eyes gave in to the comfortable images.
"Remember what I told you Kenny," Larry had said, "about the different parts of the canoe?" He knew Kenny liked to be tested on his knowledge.
"Yes, the sides are called gunnels."
Kenny knew Larry was proud of him. He really liked someone to teach him things.
Fishing rods were loaded, food packs carefully placed into the center of the canoe, and life jackets worn. They had waded barefoot from the shore, carrying the boat to a depth of several feet, so as not to scratch its hull.
Kenny stretched, then turned on his side. His memories were like a movie reel. The best part was yet to come.
While Larry held the canoe, Kenny gingerly placed his cold feet inside, one at a time then sat down in the bow. As Larry seated himself in the stern, Kenny said quickly, "OK dad, let's go." He glanced back to see if Larry noticed what had slipped from his tongue.
Kenny hadn't said it on purpose. It sort of sneaked out. "OK dad," he repeated under his breath "let's go." Sounded really nice, he thought to himself. He turned around from the bow and looked back.
He noticed Larry's peaked hat, with the perch fish on its front. Red vest, blue shirt, worn jeans and bare feet completed the picture. Larry's paddle was ready for action. And his eyes seemed at peace with himself. They were always full of laughter.
Kenny wished James was more like Larry.
"What's up Kenny? Why are you looking at me so seriously?" Larry had said, chuckling.
Kenny turned away quickly, his heart pounding.
But it wasn't all. He missed having a dad, and he was glad his face was turned away as moisture gathered on his cheeks. He wasn't crying, not really. He felt like a traitor for even pretending Larry was his dad.
But then it must be okay, the sky didn't explode or anything.
To himself he said softly, "OK dad, I'm ready now. Let's go." And he felt good inside as his paddle dipped in the water...
Kenny jerked awake in his room as he heard his squeaky doorknob. Through half-closed eyelids he watched his mom step in.
Kenny pretended to be asleep, one arm flung out. His fingers were open as if waiting for a handshake from someone.
As his mom crossed the creaking floor, he carefully controlled his breathing. He felt her eyes travel from his toes, lanky legs, and thinly stretched frame to his blond head.
She puffed air softly on his closed eyelids, testing to see if he was really asleep. It tickled, but somehow he calmed his reflexes.
He wanted to reach out and hug her.
She retrieved a blanket from the closet and placed it over him. He groaned softly, letting out some of his tension. The sound drifted as if from a far-away planet.
Before he fell asleep he made a promise to himself.
Tomorrow he would tell her that he loved her.
Co-authors Richard and Esther Provencher invite you to view their newest novel SOMEONE’S SON written during Richard’s recovery from a stroke, which gob-smacked him in 1999. It is a Young Adult novel dealing with a family crisis. http://www.synergebooks.com/ebook_someonesson.html
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My Mother, My Son: A true story of love, determination, and memories...lost



Paperback – January 26, 2012




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30 Summers More: Adding Time Back to Your Aging Clock
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30 Summers More: Adding Time Back to Your Aging Clock

"Too often, those who care for an aging family feel alone. To shatter this isolation, Dwayne Clark shares his often painful experiences supporting a mother with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease. He also offers caregivers his professional advice from within the assisted-living industry, and his hard won wisdom. This refreshingly honest memoir is a true friend through hard times." - Dr. Kirtland C. Peterson, ISCI Consulting "Dwayne Clark recounts the profoundly painful journey of his mother's struggle with both Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's in this honest memoir and helpful resource. Through his professional expertise and personal experience, Dwayne is able to pass along his words of wisdom and sound advice. Through my extensive work with the elderly, I know that family members will find comfort and validation in this book as they maneuver their own path with an aging loved one. " - Nathan Billig, M.D. Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and former Director of Geriatric Psychiatry Georgetown University School of Medicine Washington, DC "The final chapter is worth the price of the whole book" - Dick Van Dyke "For people who perhaps are not familiar with the realities of Alzheimer's disease, My Mother, My Son will serve as an excellent introduction. And for families who have struggled or are struggling to cope with this heartbreaking disease, it will most certainly provide comfort and solace." -Susan Sarandon



Dwayne J. Clark is the founder and chief executive officer of Aegis Living. With more than 25 years of senior housing experience, Dwayne has helped thousands of seniors age with dignity, comfort and compassion. Dwayne’s focus and passion in business is to redefine the concept of β€œcorporate culture.” He has studied business models from companies known for world-class innovation, including Costco, Nordstrom and Starbucks. With the knowledge gained from these companies, he grew Aegis Living from a dream to a company of over 2,000 employees with the goal of staff satisfaction being the driving force. Aegis Living has been voted β€œbest company to work for” many times by Washington CEO magazine. Dwayne has been honored in numerous ways for his contribution to business, as well as, senior housing. He was named Ernst & Young’s Entrepreneur of the Year, honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award from Senior Services and granted the Bastyr University Mission Award.



















Publisher
‏
:
β€Ž

Aegis Living (January 26, 2012)











Language
‏
:
β€Ž

English











Paperback
‏
:
β€Ž

308 pages











ISBN-10
‏
:
β€Ž

098481521X











ISBN-13
‏
:
β€Ž

978-0984815210











Item Weight
‏
:
β€Ž

1.06 pounds











Dimensions
‏
:
β€Ž

6 x 0.7 x 9 inches




















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What I liked the most was the list at the end that offers guidance to caretakers. Having cared for my father and my younger sister, the suggestions were good. Other than that, truth be told, I didn't like the writing style. It was as though 3 or 4 different people had written the book. And I have a feeling if I had met his mom when she was younger, I wouldn't have liked her very much. Kind of selfish and self serving. And the son seemed weirdly and a bit unnaturally connected to his Mom. Just a strange story, except for the fact that she had Alzheimer's. That is sad, period. Fortunately, the mother had a wealthy son who could give her the best care. Wish that were the case for everyone stricken with Alzheimer's.
















I have tried writing an intelligent non-emotional review regarding The Book My Mother, My Son several times. However, not having the gift of expression as a writer, suffer through my review please? I believe everyone who has anyone close to them experiencing this horrific disease needs to read this book. The book brought to surface so many emotions I never knew I even had, (and I am the strong kid) every time as I wrote the words I went back to my feelings as I read which were LOVE, LAUGHTER, KINDNESS,HYSTERICAL,SADNESS,TEARS,IRRATIONAL, EMBARRASSMENT, for a few and then back to LOVE again. This book has become a Text Book for me as I am now dealing with Alzheimer's with my own Father. Though I did not live the life of the Author, I am living a parallel life on what is? what if? is it? or WTF? Or what is next? It cannot get any worse? and we are only in the first year! I want everyone to read this book who might be going through this process of a Loved one and this horrible disease, as you will reread it many times as you and your family hits every step as Dwayne and his family did through this Family Disease. It is my TEXT Book I must say on what is okay to Feel and say during this process as every piece of literature, every self help group and everything I researched on line after the diagnosis, has NOT helped me as much as living the actual process with My Mother. My Son. Please Read the Book and receive your education on HOW what you are feeling is what is okay because the feeling is just something you cannot avoid. It is so hard to switch roles and become the STRONG one and they become the dependent one. This has been the hardest for me, my Father, was the one, who taught me, laid the ground rules, grounded me, provided for me and encouraged me. I am not supposed to become the Parent. This Book allows you to question your role, and your feelings as you now have developed into this person NOT by choice but out of disease. A terrible disease. I continue to reread my copy and have sent copies to all of my siblings and to several others as I believe it is an extremely informative book if you need to know how to deal with the disease itself. Excellent Education and I continue to reread. Thank you Dwayne J. Clark for writing. Your Mother is proud of HER SON!!!!
















Dwayne J. Clark's book is a great book on it's own, and certainly a must read for anyone whom has or has had the experience of a loved one with Alzheimer's. The fact that it came from the head of a successful organization that specializes in assisted care is refreshing. Leaders in any field rarely display the bravery to put their real lives and their toughest experiences out there for all to see. It is greatly appreciated as it is often the case that one feels very isolated and unique in their experiences with this cruel disease. Dwayne's stories of his Mom's life, his own, and the triumphs and tribulations of their journeys bring to mind my own experiences with members of my family and I'm sure they have resonance for many, many others out there. The biggest lesson, or permanent thought that sums up for me what is often forgotten in regards to victims of Alzheimer's comes from his quote, "Too often when people get sick in this country we refer to them as their disease: The cancer patient or the diabetic. We overlook the richness of experience and personality that underlies that person. We forget their life, their contributions. We forget what lives on in all the people around them. And this is never truer than when facing the reality of memory loss, when a person slowly recedes from the identity they've manifested for so long". Absolutely spot on. If you're caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or have a family member experiencing it, please pick-up or download a copy. There is great comfort and value in sharing stories and having stories shared with you when it comes to dealing with difficult happenings in life-and this is a particularly good story that is shared here.
















This touching story of a mother and son, the life they lived and the life they gave up as she battled dementia, is a must read for anyone dealing with memory impaired parents. That Mr. Clark has gone on to dedicate his life to helping patients and families with these issues through his creation of Aegis Living Communities is a gift!
















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https://www.abctales.com/story/richard-l-provencher/mother-and-son-story
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