Mom Son Home
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Mom Son Home
Boy Mom's Reminder That to Your Sons, You're "Home Base"
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Rachael Boley, a mom to three boys and blogger at the aptly named Three Boys and a Mom , recently unearthed a selection from another mother's blog post that has mamas of sons nodding their heads and holding back sobs. In a post to Instagram, Boley shared the words originally written by Tabitha Studer of the Team Studer blog in a post called " 25 Rules For Mothers of Sons ," written in 2011. Boley used the 25th item on that list, which says to "Be home base" for your boys, as a caption for the sweet photo of her youngest son.
Although Boley's 5-year-old identical twins and 3-year-old appear on her Instagram page frequently and most photos contain some kind of sentiment about being a mother to boys specifically, the mom found Studer's words to be too good not to share. So she continued, quoting the rest of item number 25 on Studer's list:
A mother is her son's home base. You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you 20 times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays a sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.
Although these touching words could have been written for any combination of mother and child or father and child, moms of boys in particular are feeling the connection to Boley's photo and Studer's words in the comments of the post. "I have to tell you that this hit me right in the gut," one mom said. "I have three boys, too, and I'm on the super struggle bus with them getting older and the thought that they may not need me anymore. I'll take being Home Base. Any day of the week."
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Posted on December 11, 2014
- By
Rich
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
Here we go again. When a picture of a mom and son in the bathtub with her son made its way around social media, the internet went crazy. Words like inappropriate, child pornography, and abuse infiltrated the comment sections of Facebook posts and forced everyone to hit the share button and call this mom out on her actions. And those who did not have as much of a problem with her in the bathtub with her son had a problem with someone taking the photo and posting. Let the judgment begin.
So the first question a lot of people probably asked was the age of the boy. He looked to be at least four or five, but it’s hard to say what his exact age is. Now, unfortunately for “tubmom,” in order for this behavior to have been acceptable by internet mafia standards, said boy should have been no older than two for her not to be condemned for her actions. Not to mention, from the looks of the photos, they both looked cramped and there wasn’t enough room for them to properly bathe. So not only were they inappropriate to everyone, there was a chance they were both not even fully washed. But I digress.
Seriously though, we can’t continue to think we can tell other parents how to raise their kids, or decide the decency line for everyone else. To each his own.
As long as there is no harm done to the child, there shouldn’t be any real issue. Like many others, I saw more harm done by posting the photo.
We know the type of backlash something like this could get so this was a bad decision by tubmom or the anonymous photographer (maybe dad?). Truthfully, I highly doubt there was anything inappropriate going on, and it really did just look like she was taking a bath with her child. The exposed boob that was covered was probably a bit much. But hasn’t this woman learned that social media is the devil?
Admittedly, I have taken a bath with all of my kids at some point up until they were about two. Not because I wanted them to infiltrate the only time that I had alone, but because it just seemed like the only way I could preserve time back then. I know a lot of moms who do this. As the kids become more aware of things and get curious about body parts, it makes things uncomfortable. So it eventually stops. For some, it stops a little later. For me, two was the age where it felt as if they could start remembering these things. Therefore, since society (and my husband) deemed it inappropriate, I made sure to stop. By three years old, I actually started locking the bathroom door. They bang on the door until I get out of the tub and unlock it so they can ask me something that could have waited. My seven-year-old has now figured out how to take a penny and turn the bathroom lock to make her way in. I say all this to say that no matter how hard I have tried to cover up or shield them from my own nakedness, they have caught a glimpse here and there. They usually don’t even think twice about it. I yell at them to shut the door. They don’t. Instead, I’m left exposed in the tub with a cold draft. It’s inevitable.
No one wants to scar their kids with visions of naked adults, but it’s not as uncommon as the comments on tubmom’s photos would have you believe. What is uncommon is posting a photo like that. Now that the photo has made its way onto everyone’s timelines, there’s a smh type feeling. Judgment awaits.
Is it a little weird? Kinda. Inappropriate? Maybe. Should she have posted it on the internet for the world to see? Absolutely not.
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