Mom Son Asstr
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Mom Son Asstr
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Posted on December 11, 2014
- By
Rich
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
Here we go again. When a picture of a mom and son in the bathtub with her son made its way around social media, the internet went crazy. Words like inappropriate, child pornography, and abuse infiltrated the comment sections of Facebook posts and forced everyone to hit the share button and call this mom out on her actions. And those who did not have as much of a problem with her in the bathtub with her son had a problem with someone taking the photo and posting. Let the judgment begin.
So the first question a lot of people probably asked was the age of the boy. He looked to be at least four or five, but it’s hard to say what his exact age is. Now, unfortunately for “tubmom,” in order for this behavior to have been acceptable by internet mafia standards, said boy should have been no older than two for her not to be condemned for her actions. Not to mention, from the looks of the photos, they both looked cramped and there wasn’t enough room for them to properly bathe. So not only were they inappropriate to everyone, there was a chance they were both not even fully washed. But I digress.
Seriously though, we can’t continue to think we can tell other parents how to raise their kids, or decide the decency line for everyone else. To each his own.
As long as there is no harm done to the child, there shouldn’t be any real issue. Like many others, I saw more harm done by posting the photo.
We know the type of backlash something like this could get so this was a bad decision by tubmom or the anonymous photographer (maybe dad?). Truthfully, I highly doubt there was anything inappropriate going on, and it really did just look like she was taking a bath with her child. The exposed boob that was covered was probably a bit much. But hasn’t this woman learned that social media is the devil?
Admittedly, I have taken a bath with all of my kids at some point up until they were about two. Not because I wanted them to infiltrate the only time that I had alone, but because it just seemed like the only way I could preserve time back then. I know a lot of moms who do this. As the kids become more aware of things and get curious about body parts, it makes things uncomfortable. So it eventually stops. For some, it stops a little later. For me, two was the age where it felt as if they could start remembering these things. Therefore, since society (and my husband) deemed it inappropriate, I made sure to stop. By three years old, I actually started locking the bathroom door. They bang on the door until I get out of the tub and unlock it so they can ask me something that could have waited. My seven-year-old has now figured out how to take a penny and turn the bathroom lock to make her way in. I say all this to say that no matter how hard I have tried to cover up or shield them from my own nakedness, they have caught a glimpse here and there. They usually don’t even think twice about it. I yell at them to shut the door. They don’t. Instead, I’m left exposed in the tub with a cold draft. It’s inevitable.
No one wants to scar their kids with visions of naked adults, but it’s not as uncommon as the comments on tubmom’s photos would have you believe. What is uncommon is posting a photo like that. Now that the photo has made its way onto everyone’s timelines, there’s a smh type feeling. Judgment awaits.
Is it a little weird? Kinda. Inappropriate? Maybe. Should she have posted it on the internet for the world to see? Absolutely not.
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I’m not ready for him to graduate high school this June.
Writer, Blogger, and the mind behind My Dishwasher's Possessed!
Feb 22, 2017, 08:30 AM EST | Updated Feb 22, 2017
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Writer, Blogger, and the mind behind My Dishwasher's Possessed!
“Mom, this was the first time we ever saw a movie alone, just the two of us.”
I was watching my 18-year-old son, coffee cup in his hand, looking up at me between bites of his doughnut. We decided to grab a snack before heading home after watching “Hidden Figures.”
Wasn’t it just yesterday that I would walk him in his stroller to Dunkin’ Donuts? How could this man with the scruffy beard be the same toddler that I would hand-feed pieces of Munchkins to so he wouldn’t choke? And is it true, had we really never seen a movie, just the two of us?
“Yeah Mom. We usually are with Dad, or Lizzy and Peter, or Grandpa. This is the first time it was just you and me.”
The minute he said it, I couldn’t help myself from wanting a do-over. That’s it, he can’t be grown up, because we haven’t seen more movies together, just him and me.
It doesn’t matter that I’ve been an at-home mom his whole life. I got to see first steps, hear his first words, and watch almost every play, field day, and concert he took part in. We’ve had our share of mother-son dates. Who cares if this was the first time we saw a movie alone together? Kathy, get a grip.
I’ve had so much time with him. But selfishly, it doesn’t feel like enough.
I’m not ready for him to graduate high school this June and move on to college.
Yes, it was our first movie alone, but would it also be our last? It was just luck that we went to this one together. Usually he spends his weekends with his friends. But since he has been gone so much lately, he decided to take it easy and stay home with us. There’s no girl in the picture yet. Once that happens, I won’t see him much at all.
I’m ashamed to admit this, but I didn’t even really want to go with him. Or with anyone for that matter. I’ve been so stressed-out dealing with my daughter and her special needs as well as just the daily grind of being a mom of three that all I wanted was a few hours in a movie theater by myself.
I said a silent prayer of thanks that I listened to my better angels and said yes to a date with my son.
As my mind rambled on, I could hear Tom talking. The film moved him greatly. Of course he knew that racism and sexism existed, but it was different seeing it play out on screen. How is it possible that such abuse went on back then? Why is it that it racism and sexism still plague us today? He marveled at the strength of the women at the center of the movie’s plot and of the actors’ performances.
I had to keep willing myself to stay present because a part of me couldn’t get over that this young man who was so articulately discussing the film was the same kid who, as a small child, was so speech-delayed his preschool teacher told me she doubted he would ever lead a “normal” life.
I’ve watched him work so hard to overcome his dyslexia and do things that other kids took for granted. There were days when I wondered if I was up to the task of guiding this amazing person. Yet here he was, sitting in front of me, speaking of the history of NASA, and talking about about camera angles and set production.
I wish I could go back to that young mom who was terrified that her child would be OK. I would grab her and tell her that she should relax a bit and enjoy her child. It all worked out fine. He is getting ready to spread his wings and leave the nest.
Of course, knowing myself, I wouldn’t have listened.
So I snap out of my fog, and do my best to enjoy the moment I have. Sip my coffee and be glad for a date with my son.
This piece was previously published on Kathy’s site, My Dishwasher’s Possessed!
Writer, Blogger, and the mind behind My Dishwasher's Possessed!
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I walked into my son’s school a few weeks ago to pick him up. He was sitting with all his friends waiting for me by the door and immediately got up when he saw me coming. Clearly, he didn’t want me coming anywhere near his friends. I got the feeling he didn’t want anyone to know he was with me. I was right.
As he got closer, he whispered, “Mom, why do you have to dress like that? Everyone stares at you.”
“No they don’t. They are probably staring at you because you are so handsome,” I told him.
“I blend in. They aren’t staring at me. They are looking at you. Why do you have to wear dresses and high heels?” For the record, I was wearing the outfit below. The nerve, right?
I decided I wanted to try something with my teenage son that day. I asked him if he wanted to dress me for a little while. I told him he could pick out my outfits and I would wear whatever he wanted me to wear as long as he had an open mind and would listen to a few things I had to say about people and the way they choose to dress, so that’s what we did.
I wanted to talk to him more about the subject and why he was feeling the way he was. And by having him choose my clothes for a while I would better understand why he wanted me to wear certain things, and maybe he would understand why I like to dress the way I do and that, really, it shouldn’t affect him as much as it does.
This was his choice for the first day. He picked out a very casual, sporty outfit, and I loved it.
While I dress like this about half the time and like this look, it doesn’t always suit me. Sometimes I feel like dressing up more, so I do. When I asked my son why he picked this out, he said because I “blended in and didn’t look out of place.” In his mind, when I dress up, I look like I don’t belong. If he only knew how many women I saw throughout the day wearing suits and heels maybe he would have a different opinion.
Regardless, I told him nobody should be judged based on how they dress — not even your very embarrassing mother . Most people wear what they are comfortable in, what makes them feel good. It doesn’t matter where it came from because this isn’t how we judge others. We focus on how they make us feel, if they are kind, how they treat people. I told him judging people for what they wear is very transparent, and he will be missing out on a lot in life if he is going to focus on making friends because of what they wear, what they have, or what they look like.
If he is comfortable dressing in a way that makes him feel like he blends in, I think that is great. However, I want him to have the inner confidence to step out of the box if he wants. If he feels like wearing something, even though none of his peers are, I want him to feel like he can.
I also let him know what someone puts on their body isn’t an invitation, for him or anyone else, ever. And he should always take heed on how he looks at people, especially women. There is a way to look at a woman without staring or gawking. No matter how you see her, she deserves respect. I don’t care what she’s wearing.
I also want my son to realize just because I am a mother it doesn’t mean I have to dress a certain way. I loved the outfits he picked for me, and dress like that on my own accord often. But I also love wearing dresses, heels, skinny jeans, and trying out new trends because that is who I am, and who I was long before I became his mother. It’s not my intention to embarrass him. It is my intention to be myself, and him making comments or telling me he doesn’t want to go anywhere with me because of the way I dress is hurtful (as normal as it is).
A few days ago, I discussed these “lessons” I was trying to teach him with a friend and she told me he would “take all these lessons and bake them into a gentleman pie.” I really hope she is right.
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