Mom Passed Out Drunk

Mom Passed Out Drunk
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Found my mom passed out in the garage last night...
If you are concerned about the effect of someone else's drinking on your life, please feel welcome.
My mom has barely drank anything for most of her adult life but within the past year, has slowly been drinking more and more. I'm 25 and still live at home (although moving out here in the next few months) so I've watched this transformation. At first, it was no big deal. Everyone else in the family drinks responsibly and we have a good time.
Unfortunately, I think she's found some "friends" at the bar that persuade her to drink too much. This is the first time it's been this bad. My father came home at about 9PM throwing shit and slamming doors. I didn't bother to ask; I just try to avoid him when he's like that. I was curious as to why my mother had not come home, but it's not uncommon for her to stay and get dropped off by a friend later in the night. At about 11pm, I see a strange car parked outside my house and some lady yelling or something out the window. Then the garage door opened and I assumed mom had come in. About an hour later, I go down to get something out of the deep freeze in the garage, and my mom is passed out on her back in the garage right in front of the door. I tried to help her get up and move inside to a couch just 10ft away, but she just kept staring blankly at me. She wouldn't stand up; I couldn't even get her to crawl. After 20min of coaxing, I was given no choice and dragged her ass in and sat her up in a chair. I have never seen her so blitzed. I was afraid she would drown in her vomit if she slept on her back, so I insisted she sit up in the chair.
I talked to my brother, since he stays up very late generally, and asked him to keep an eye on her. A few hours later, he says she managed to maneuver her way back to bed. Now, the next morning... I am pissed off. My brother says this has happened before. She's so drunk she just passes out where she stands. I don't know what to do now. What is the best way to deal with this? AA seems like too much; I really think a good talk with her can solve a lot of this. I just want some ideas on what to say and how to come off as I'm trying to help her rather than being personally hurt by her actions. What if she passed out on the stairs? She could be dead.
Just move her to a safe place and in a position where she won't choke if she vomits, and just leave her. Let her start waking up in awkward places like the floor. Don't put her to bed or clean her up. Hitting bottom often involves experiencing bad consequences like waking up on a cold floor covered with puke. It may encourage her to get well.
My biggest concern was that she was going to move from where I left her. She kept trying to move and just ended up rolling over on her back constantly. Maybe I should have left her on the floor (as long as it was inside and not in the garage) but I was afraid she'd roll onto her back. My brother thought I was being overly concerned and helped me to relax a little bit. I would have never been so panicked about it with anyone else, but it's my mother. Besides, I've never seen anyone THAT out of it that they cannot even crawl a few feet. I think my mom reacts to alcohol MUCH more strongly than most people.
What an awful thing to deal with. My mother used to do the same thing. One day when I was about 13 or so, I found her passed out in my bed naked. She'd do the same thing, just pass out wherever she was, at home, or in public. It kept getting worse and more dangerous each time. For some reason, my teenage mind took pictures of it on a disposable camera. I got all the photos developed and I remember getting sympathetic looks from the people who handed me my pictures. Then I gave them all to my mother. I think I was hoping that showing her just how bad she had become would help give her a wake up call. Unfortunately, it did not... nothing has.
That's not to say that you shouldn't bother with your mom, everyone is different. I think you absolutely should try to talk to her, as long as you want to. I guess my advice would just be to not expect her to respond a certain way. Her actions are her own. Just make sure that you are always taking care of you... that's the part you have control over.
If this does continue, you might want to check out an Al-Anon meeting if you need sympathy/companionship/people who have been through similar. I know you think AA might be too much for her now, but don't write it off completely. Especially if it's her friends she's with encouraging/enabling her to get like that. I believe one of the thing's AA focuses on is not surrounding yourself with temptations and people who tempt you.
I really do wish you the best of luck. Again, please take care of yourself. If you ever need to talk, post away.
I think I'm going to tell her how much this hurt me and that next time I won't be so caring. Next time I will dial 911 and sleep sound knowing that she'll be taken care of. Then she can deal with the medical bills or whatever. I almost did that last night anyway. I refuse to let her lay out in the freezing cold all night and end up with pneumonia.
Yeah, if things don't get better, I will suggest AA to her. I am pretty good with dealing with these sorts of things; I've been the rock for my family for awhile with my brother's arrests and prison time and all. It's just really taxing on me to constantly have to fix my family. I feel like a bad person sometimes, but I can't wait to move out of here so that at least I can be ignorant of what's going on.
You must be honest with her. You should tell her you feel upset and scared for her life at the same time. That you're scared because her life is on the line. At the same time you're upset because she should know better, she has kids that love her and she is throwing her life away anyway. Tell her it's selfish for herself and selfish for you , her kids. You have to make her feel the pain unfortunately.
I had just this conversation in the last couple hours and posted above about it. Thank you.
I could respond to every post here with this, so I figured I'd make a general post to this topic.
I spoke to my mother tonight (after Thanksgiving dinner and her post-dinner nap) and told her about what she had completely forgotten. She felt embarrassed, ashamed, and disgusted with herself. She kept referring to not doing this "to me", and I kept reiterating that she must do this for herself. She accepted the criticism very well and told me that she would quit drinking forever. I'm not sure this is the outcome I wanted or expected, so I reminded her of her years of drinking responsibly. I told her out uncomfortable I feel around her even after she's had a few and reminded her of how her twin sister acts when she's drunk. We had a very down-to-earth discussion and she almost sort-of blamed my father for it. He visits the bar on a daily basis, but he knows when to leave. I reminded her that he knows when to leave and she should have accepted that and left with him. He has been drinking a long time and knows when to quit. She should accept his advice and leave when he suggests it.
She seemed very receptive to my criticism and said that she would never drink again. I told her how I feel that I understand what she's been going through. She quit on life, friends, etc. when she had me and has not had any friends other than me, my brother, and my father since then. I understand that as her children grow up and no longer require her, that she is trying to find a new thing to do with herself. I was happy when she started making friends and going out or having people come over. I've wanted this for her for a long time. However, she has chosen some of the wrong friends and have taken the wrong path.
It's funny because it's a similar situation that a teenager goes through, trying to pull themselves into independence. I can totally understand. However, it doesn't excuse the action. She made a bad choice, it's not the first time she's made a bad choice, and I made it clear that my actions next time (if there is one) will not be very fun. At no point did she get upset at me or blame me for anything I have done. I offered to be her friend when she needs to get out of the house; a bite to eat or a responsibly accepted drink.
In the end, I got her to promise me a few weeks of complete sobriety. Beyond that, I won't mind her occasional drink as she had done for a life-time before this spiral. But she needs to get to that point first and I will help her along the way. I feel like I've opened a line of dialogue on this point so that we can openly discuss things. I don't want her to hide anything from me; I can be her rock. It's what I do best.

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Man takes advantage of unconscious drunk woman on Las Vegas strip
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Video: Disturbing footage shows man take advantage of an intoxicated woman passed out on the Vegas Strip and NOBODY seems to care

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A man takes advantage of a drunk, and possibly unconscious woman on the Las Vegas strip as people pass by. Some people stay as onlookers, others check on the woman.

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