Mom Is My First

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First of all, I have profound respect for all moms out there! You’re doing a great job and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Now, when we realized I was pregnant, I embarked on a research journey. A journey to find out anything and everything a first time mom needs to know about babies. I made google my friend as advised by most friends. I even read a few “all you need to know about babies” books and blogs!
Also, I can’t tell you how many times I called my sister-in-law and my friends who are already moms asking them as many questions as I could! Thank God for their kindness and patience.
However, when I got my little princess, I realized there was so much more to motherhood than my friends or the internet could teach me.
Honestly, the last few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. First, I still can’t believe I am a mom. I am still fascinated by her little smiles and laughs.
Secondly, my daughter is growing so fast so every moment I spend with her is priceless. I have also learned a lot and am still learning. That being said, here is my truthful experience and a few lessons that I’ve learned as a mum to a gorgeous 5 months baby girl.
1.) Motherhood is a journey and everyone has their own experience – Different moms have different experiences during their pregnancy, at childbirth and most important when bringing up their kids. If you ask different moms the same question you will get so many different answers.
Therefore, it’s important to allow yourself to experience motherhood your own way. This way you will be more relaxed and you will actually enjoy being a mom.
2.) Being a mom is the hardest job you will ever love – being a mom is a full-time job. You are not allowed to take sick leave, a day off or a break. You will be exhausted most of the time, other times you will talk and look crazy but there is nothing as fulfilling and rewarding as seeing your baby happy.
Each day I wake up to the most beautiful smile! This makes me forget the sleepless night I have had. It might be hard but I love being a mom.
3.) Always have a plan b – Most moms depend on insurance companies to pay their hospital bills once they deliver. But it is important to have some cash that can foot your bills in case the insurance fails to come through for you.
This will ensure that you and the baby do not stay in hospital longer than expected while trying to sort out the bills.
Also, pack your hospital bag in advance to avoid last-minute rush. Make sure you have all the essentials you need for you and the baby. Check out these tips on what you need in your hospital bag.
4.) Breastfeeding is not easy – Every mom will tell you how magical breastfeeding is. Also, it may look easy when you see other moms doing it, but it’s not. As a new mom, the biggest challenges will vary from cracked nipples, infections to mastitis.
To prevent this lactate properly and make sure you breastfeed on one breast until its empty before going to the next on. Also, you can get Breastfeeding nipple shields to prevent cracks. When you get a hang of it, breastfeeding is actually magical.
5.) Baby poop is black in the first few days – I know this may sound funny but I had no idea! Smh. To tell you the truth I almost ran because I thought my baby had a problem. Please don’t run, it’s totally normal.
6.) Babies are bosses – I had some sleeping schedules downloaded for my baby. In my head, I knew once we get home from the hospital we would follow one. Let me tell you for free, at 5 months, my little missy sleeps whenever she wants and there is nothing I can do. I have tried different schedules and none has worked so I let her be.
As a new mom, don’t stress yourself over a sleeping schedule, let your baby be. All you need to is plan your time around whenever the baby sleeps. Also, in the first few weeks, the baby can be fussy at night, relax it will be better as the baby grows. 
7.) Baby nails grow overnight – This might sound funny but it’s true. Seriously, what’s the deal with these nails? If I don’t cut my daughter’s nails after every few days, she will have scratches all over her face. Now cutting her nails is a full-time job.
8.) Fancy vs Functional – As a new mom, you will see so many fancy baby clothes, but after you buy them, you realize they are not functional. I realized some of those clothes were too complicated to put on a baby and they did not look comfortable too.
At 5 months, I’m stuck with a pile of baby clothes, some of which she never got to wear. What has worked most for my daughter is onesies, rompers, and bodysuits. They are easy to put on and you can choose either warm or light depending on the season. And because babies grow so fast, You will have all the fun dressing them when they are more grown.
9.) Avoid comparing your baby – Babies come in all shapes and sizes. They develop and hit milestones differently too. That being said comparing your baby to other babies can be a source of stress to a new mom.
I found myself comparing my baby to my nieces (on weight gain, sleeping schedule, and how they perform activities) until I realized these babies are totally different and their development will never be the same.
My advice? Love your baby as they are, care for them unconditionally and let them grow and develop at their own pace.
10.) Google isn’t a doctor – Most first time moms make the mistake on looking for solutions on Google, please don’t. The internet has a way of magnifying a small issue into a big problem.
If you feel your baby has a problem, please visit a doctor no matter how small the problem might seem. Also, ask the doctor any question that’s bothering you no matter how dumb it may sound.
11.) Follow your heart as a mom – Nobody told me getting a baby means getting advice from anyone and everyone. As a mom, you have to learn how to filter information. Follow your heart. If it feels right, do it, if it doesn’t, leave it.
12.) Expect the unexpected – As I said before babies are different. Therefore, make sure your 7th sense – yes mothers have a 7th sense – is working all the time. My baby surprises me each waking day. Also, be attentive as your baby might surprise you sooner than you anticipated.
13.) Things will never be the same – when you became a mom all aspects of your life will change. My body changed, I have a whole new person depending on me and my hubby and I have to create time to be together unlike before the baby when we had all the time to ourselves. 
14.) Fewer friends – Your friends will definitely be fewer when you get a baby. This is because you are on different timelines. You will prefer to spend more time with your baby than hang out with friends.
15.) Relax they will move out soon – Are there baby stuff and toys all over the house? Is your house not tidy as it used to be? Are you stressing about it? Relax! As soon as they are 18 years they will move out. and everything will go back to normal. All you need to do now is to enjoy the tiny smiles you get every now and then.
Being a mom has brought me so much joy than I could ever imagine. I may be exhausted most of the time but I would never ask for a better job.
Are you a first time mom? What lessons have you learned? I would love to hear all about it in the comment sect below. Also, don’t forget to share with any new mom or mom-to-be.
I'm Ann Gichuhi. I love writing about all things women! Feel free to contact me if you want to suggest something, or just to say Hi!
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My mom was my first teacher
OPINION by Alison Crane | July 26, 2021 at 4:00 a.m.
Other than remembering when I took a head dive onto a hard floor and giving myself a concussion when I should have been taking a nap, most of my earliest memories involve doing things with my mom. She encouraged my interest in bugs by helping me to start an insect collection. She taught me how to sew as I sat beside her while she sewed. We would make regular trips to the library to check out books about anything my sister and I wanted to know. She hates snakes, but would buy me books about them, mostly so I could identify them before she killed them. Basically, Mom opened the world for my sister and me as she taught us life skills that would help us all the way into adulthood. She has been a good role model for curiosity and learning and she still is even in her 80s.
From the moment a baby comes home from the hospital, he or she begins learning. How a parent interacts with their child, the routines or lack of routines that are established in that home, and the early attachment bonding all set the stage for future growth and development. A secure home environment is essential for a child to develop a sense of security and sets the stage for a child's ability to build on learned skills.
The World Health Organization defines life skills as "the abilities for adaptive and positive behavior that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life." Some tasks a toddler learns to do promote self-control and concentration. Other tasks a child learns help to develop organizational skills or creative or critical thinking abilities. Progressive life skills development can affect a child's future success in school and later life.
When a parent actively takes on the role of teacher, the child will benefit by gaining skills and bonding with that parent. Teaching a child to do a task requires attention and focus on the part of the parent. Children who spend time with their parents have less social anxiety and are less likely to engage in destructive behaviors. Life skills can develop through intentional daily activities and repeated application as children grow and reach adulthood (Penn State Thrive Blog, 2020).
Parents do not need a degree to be able to teach their children the fundamentals of life. It starts with developing a secure bond and attachment with your baby. Emotional sensitivity toward your child by expressing appropriate emotions and being receptive to your child's needs. This creates moments of learning that can be purposeful and maximized through love. An easy way to remember to be purposeful throughout the day with a young child is to keep in mind these four actions: touch, talk, read and play with that child (The Urban Child Institute, 2011).
• Touch -- allows a baby to feel safe and instills trust -- such as a hug or holding hands.
• Talk -- teaches the child the structure of conversation and allows interaction -- describing what you are doing as you perform daily tasks, mimicking sounds back and forth with an infant.
• Read -- aids in language development, a consistent story time is vital but read more than just books -- Read signs, receipts, instruction booklets, etc.
• Play -- benefits attention span, problem-solving, decision making and creativity -- play is the work of children.
While not everyone grows up in a nurturing environment, these parenting skills can be learned. They are useful life skills for parents, child care providers, grandparents, or basically anyone who has any type of contact with another human being. For resources to help you raise loving, kind, and confident kids, visit Arkansas Free Parenting Resources -- Tips for parenting kids of all ages (uada.edu).
The Garland County Extension Service has programs and materials that teach life skills and the developmental stages of children. If you or your group would be interested in learning more, please call the Extension office at 501-623-6841 or visit us at 236 Woodbine St. in Hot Springs.
Master Gardener meetings are held on the third Thursday of each month at the Elks Lodge. The meetings are open to the public, and guests are welcome. For more information, call the Extension office at 623-6841 or email Alex Dykes at adykes@uada.edu.
Are you interested in joining an existing Extension Homemakers Club? EHC is the largest volunteer organization in the state. For information on EHC, call 623-6841 or email Alison Crane, family and consumer sciences agent, at acrane@uada.edu. Follow Alison on Facebook @garlandEGF and @Garland FCS, and EHC on Facebook @GarlandCountyEHC.
There are several 4-H Clubs for Garland County youths who are 5 to 19 years old. For information about Garland County 4-H Club membership or program benefits, contact Carol Ann McAfee, family and consumer sciences agent, at the Extension office, call 501-623-6841, or email cmcafee@uada.edu. More information is available at http://www.uaex.edu/garland.
Need ServSafe Manager's Certification for your business. The next class is Aug. 31 and Sept. 2. The registration deadline is Aug. 6. Contact the Extension office for details.
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