Mom Caught Son Masturbating
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Mom Caught Son Masturbating
9yr old daughter started masturbating?
Yes, totally normal. I personally would just leave it as probing her further may just end up needlessly embarrassing her. It's perfectly normal to explore your own body, why does it bother you? Can I just ask (out of nosiness) how you know she is doing it?
Oh goodness. My daughter is 9 and hadn't given it a thought! I remember my mum walking in on me, on the floor, rubbing myself against a cushion!! It was never mentioned though. X
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My thought exactly Lucy. I don't believe my 9yr old even knows what to do. she is quite a 'nieve' (sp?) 9yr. old, much prefers to play with younger girls that older or same age. I don't think i even thought about it until high school, And I think the OP's feelings about it at this age is about on par with mine.
Oh goodness. My daughter is 9 and hadn't given it a thought! I remember my mum walking in on me, on the floor, rubbing myself against a cushion!! It was never mentioned though. X
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Interesting comments and views. My opinion and experience is that most kids get curious about their bodies but its usually no big deal and they move on quickly.
Bath or shower times with siblings or parents are beneficial and healthy in this regard.
What we adults call and understand as masturbation and how kids understand their touching/feeling/exploration behaviour are often quite different.
The most important thing is to not make a big deal out of it and to deal with it using common sense, understanding and support.
I agree it is very natural for her to explore but totally correct talking to her about it embarrassing.
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Its perfectly natural. My daughter ( now 11) masturbates pretty openly at home
We are pleased that she is not ashamed of her body and its natural functions and can enjoy them!
Much better this way then in hiding.
That is good as long as not too open at home. Like when others are around. But I am sure you told her that
I agree it is very natural for her to explore but totally correct talking to her about it embarrassing.
Yes cause Moms understand daughters and their curiosity down there front and sometimes in back.
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What surprises me most is parents that feel its natural for their son to masturbate but at same time feel is unnatural for their daughters to masturbate. Its natural for both to be curious down there so as same time leads to masturbation. Definitely if you catch daughter playing with herself don't call her on it since it would be very embarrassing and demeaning to her since most very modest.
As mom of daughters prefer that at young age than catching them experimenting with boys at early age
Perfectly normal. I caught my 12 year old, he now locks the door, I told him if he ever wants to talk about anything just to let me know, or to write his question on a piece of paper and I will write a response on his paper and he can dispose of the question and answer or keep it, if it helps. He is pretty shy and easily embarrassed. I monitor the internet to make sure that porn and such isn't an obsession. For boys that a common issue with the internet and obsessing about the new discoveries that come along with puberty... almost would be easier with a girl child, they seem a lot easier to talk to since they are usually more emotionally mature than boys are..
First off though if I had a girl in the same situation, I would have my wife talk to her... so that off the bat would be easier for me lol. Women are better at communicating with little girls since they relate to them and once were one themselves.
Since we have 2 boys I am the one who will be answering all the growing up questions.
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Yes cause Moms understand daughters and their curiosity down there front and sometimes in back.
Makes sense daughters curiosity holes front and back from very young ages
From any age they start young or old doesn't matter to you they are exploring their body and found what felts nice doesn't need to be brought up it's normal and private to them. They are their own person . She may hear you doing it or having sex nobody needs question It. Some things if you know just need leaving it's fine. Until she's having sex then make sure she knows protection and she can talk to you making a big deal over exploring body will only make them never tell you anything. It's not really your business
Daughters more curious about bodies now specially if have older sister or catch mommy naked. Noticing the adult female body
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I hope I don't annoy you by saying that I think it is normal for girls her age to start masturbating. It's around that age that they start to get curious. Some girls (and boys) do it later, but it's a natural urge for her to start to touch herself. I had to ask a friend what to do lol I wanted to do it, I just didn't know how. She's getting the same urge. I'd be surprised if she went all the way at first. She's probably just touching a little bit. How did you find out? I think she'll talk to you. I've only had little girls in the past in my life, but a mother is the one that understands more about all that. I'm sure you'll get to talk to her about it. I'm sure you're a good mum :)
When did you start masturbating? What age do you move onto cushions? It seems a big jump. I imagine girls touch themselves at first, before ending up doing crazier stuff. How old were you?
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Who said selfies are just for the teens?
Twitter user Itati lopez posted this video of her mom taking a selfie thinking no one was around. Her reaction is absolutely priceless:
Note the sunglasses, the lighting and the angled peace sign pose: all the makings of the perfect selfie.
Not sure why, but taking a selfie is a very vulnerable act. You think you look good, you try to sneak a pic, someone catches you, they point it out to everyone. It becomes a whole embarrassing thing.
But, you do you, selfie mom. Snap away.
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Holy hormones! What to expect when puberty hits
Story Highlights Your child might be baby-faced today, but sooner or later puberty will strike Some of the issues parents face: changing bodies, sexual awakening, attitude Expert: Tell kids that the changes they're experiencing are normal Talk about changes to come, cede some control to maturing kids Next Article in Health »
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I saw it -- I'm not blind: The hair peeking from under those arms and the little sprinkle of it Down There, too. The curvy hips and shapely legs and the bubble booty that would make the über-curvy Beyoncé do a double take.
"The signs of puberty are a teachable moment," says one doctor. "Let children know they're okay the way they are."
The changes were hard for me to miss; after all, I still supervised my 8-year-old's nightly supersplashy baths -- the ones she happily shared with her little sister, a gang of doll babies, and a school of rubber fish. Still, when the pediatrician told my husband and me that it was time for us to have a talk with Mari about puberty, we were stunned into silence. How, after all, do you tell a child who still worships SpongeBob, Hubba Bubba bubble gum, and baths for two about boobs, bras, periods, cramps, zits, and PMS? We. Were. Not. Ready.
But clearly, we needed to get ready, because our little girl's body was starting to make the long, slow journey toward becoming a young woman's, and despite our collective freak-out, holding out on the info was no longer an option.
Ivor Horn, M.D., a Washington, D.C., pediatrician who counsels her patients' parents about puberty, acknowledges that parents are uncomfortable with such conversations because all too many of us have memories of our own experiences with parents too embarrassed or unwilling to spill. But, argues Horn, it's imperative that we inform our kids about the changes occurring in their bodies -- before they get the crazy version of "facts" from fellow prepubescent playmates in the schoolyard.
"The signs of puberty are a teachable moment," adds Horn, herself a mom of two, ages 7 and 9. "It's important to let children know they're okay the way they are, that you love them that way, that the changes in their body are normal, and they can come to you with any questions."
The comforting thing here is that if you and your child are staring puberty in the face and -- like Nick, me, and Mari -- your panties are in a bunch about it, you're not alone. Lucky for us, we're not the first to have kids going through The Change, and we sure as shooting won't be the last. So to help us through, I asked moms in the thick of puberty for useful tips.
What to Expect When You Have a Girl
When to expect it: Between 9 and 13 (there's a wide range of normal here!)
What to expect: The estrogen that's being pumped into your tween's body from her ovaries causes breast budding -- small bumps behind the nipples. Eventually the nipples and buds will get bigger, darker, and sometimes even pointy, becoming rounder and fuller over time. Her boobs will feel a little tender, and one breast may be bigger than the other. Let her know that this is totally normal and won't last forever. It's OK to give her acetaminophen if she's particularly sore. At this stage, you might want to get her a cupless or sports bra to help give her support and protect her tender breast tissue from rubbing against material that might irritate her, says Sherrie Strong, owner of a lingerie store in Snellville, Georgia.
How to deal: It's going to be hard adjusting to your daughter's new body, particularly if she's filling out quickly and looking more like a woman than a little girl. Try not to make a big deal about it -- she's probably self-conscious enough. Tori (not her real name), a Frisco, Texas, mom of four, simply put her daughter Gabi (not her real name), then 12, in a T-shirt to help her get a visual on why she needed a bra. Ally (not her real name), a New York City mom, gave her daughter, Carmen (not her real name), now 12, a bra heads-up about two years ago. "I just treated it like getting broccoli," says Ally. "When we went to Target, I'd say, 'Hey, pick out some bras you like and throw them in the basket.' Now she loves them so much she sleeps in them." Parenting.com: How to get your kid to open up to you
Tori had a hard time finding a bra that fit Gabi properly. Eventually a friend who works at Victoria's Secret offered to measure her daughter so they'd know exactly what size to buy. Getting fitted is a smart move; go as often as you would have her sized for shoes, says Strong: "Some girls seem to go to sleep an A cup and wake up the next day a C cup." Wearing a bra that fits well will help protect her from backaches, uncomfortable straps, and stretch marks, which come when the tissue in the breast is unsupported, she adds.
When to expect it: Between 10 and 15, with most typically getting their periods about two years after their breasts start to develop. Many girls also get a vaginal mucus-like discharge about six months before they menstruate for the first time.
What to expect: She's likely to have all the symptoms you have when you get your period: backaches, cramps, acne, PMS -- the works. Don't expect it to be regular at first -- it can take as long as two years before she'll establish a cycle.
How to deal: My talk with my mom about menstruation went something like this:
Me: "Mommy? We learned about periods in health class today. The teacher said we should get this kit. It comes with books and pads and stuff."
That was it. I don't want this for Mari and her 6-year-old sister, Lila, and you probably don't either. If you haven't already, tell your tween what will happen. No need to get all technical about it, just say, "Every girl's reproductive system -- the part that helps your body make babies when you're a grown-up -- is going to start working. There will be blood. You are not going to die. It's natural and normal. It'll be yucky. And sometimes your tummy will hurt. And you'll have a really bad attitude. But it happens to all of us."
One way to start the discussion might be the way Tori did: when her girls discovered her pads and tampons in the bathroom. "My motto is if they ask, I'll answer the best I can. I did tell them how to use pads, and that they'd get cramps, backaches, acne, and all that good stuff."
Though my mom wasn't nearly as communicative, the kit she eventually purchased for me certainly helped prepare me for what was to come. I also remember thinking it was incredibly cool to have my own stash of stuff. You can buy some kits online -- the Dot Girl's First Period Kit (available at http://www.dotgirlproducts.com/ ) and the Petite Amie My First Cycle Kit For Girls (at http://www.mypetiteamie.com/index.php?q=Home ) come with pads, tampons, and booklets for less than $25 apiece -- but it's pretty easy to make one on your own for much less. Check out the Kotex and Tampax Web sites; they're full of information you can print out and put into a cute cosmetics bag with pads and tampons. You can add other items, too, like a heating pad, pain relievers, and sanitary wipes.
When to expect them: Somewhere between age 11 and late teens (and for some, even early adulthood)
What to expect: He won't look like Arnold Schwarzenegger overnight, but your son will start getting more muscular, mostly in his arms and shoulders. The male puberty hormone, testosterone, is working with growth hormones to make him fill out. Don't be surprised if you catch him making Hulk poses in the mirror -- or asking for dumbbells. Parenting.com: 11 big-kid milestones
Dede King, a Brownsville, Pennsylvania, mom of five, says that every night before bed, her 10-year-old, Cameron, does two sets of light weights he bought with her permission. "It's kind of humorous that I'm reading him his Boxcar Children story at the same time that he's trying to bulk up to look like a man," King says.
How to deal: He might be in a rush to keep up with his pals, but his developing muscles won't be able to withstand heavy weight lifting until he's about 13 years old, and even then it's important for him to have supervision and to increase weight slowly. Explain to him that the best way to build up his muscles is by eating healthfully and doing all the things kids do -- running, jumping, playing -- and doing team sports, says Charles Cappetta, M.D, adjunct associate professor of pediatrics at Dartmouth Medical School. And if he wants to "work out," calisthenics, like push-ups, pull-ups, and squats, are better for him now and still build muscles. Sweating it out five days a week is plenty, no more than one hour a day.
When to expect them: Between 10 and 14 for wet dreams; around 12 or 13 for masturbation (though it can begin sooner)
What to expect: As his body produces more testosterone, your son may start to ejaculate semen at night. Sometimes an erotic dream accompanies these releases; sometimes it doesn't. If they weren't masturbating before, most boys will figure out how to pleasure themselves around the time they hit puberty. (Girls masturbate, too -- it just seems to be a bigger part of boys' lives.)
Nona (not her real name), a mom from Atlanta, Georgia, suspects her 11-year-old son has been masturbating for at least a year. He "politely goes into his room, closes the door, and goes to town!" she says. "How do I know? Well, he practically jumps off the bed each time I open the door. I'm not quite sure why he hasn't figured out that he can just lock it."
How to deal: If you haven't talked to your son about wet dreams and he has one, he might think he's peed in the bed, so give him the 411 and tell him this is perfectly normal. If he's embarrassed by the thought of his mom or dad changing his wet sheets, put an extra set in his closet and show him how to change the bed himself.
Also, try to remember that masturbation is normal human behavior -- even though it's emotionally hard to accept the fact that your child is evolving into a sexual being. The more you remind yourself of this, the easier it will be to discuss it with him, while laying down some rules. Let him know that pleasuring himself is something he should do in private, and that he should never do it in a public place or a heavily trafficked room in the house where people could walk in on him. Parents have a new responsibility, too: It's time to start knocking on the bedroom door before barging in. Parenting.com: How to talk to kids about sex
If you (or your tween) find it too uncomfortable to bring up the subject, try this: Kathy (not her real name), of Greenbrae, California, fills an envelope with pieces of paper, each with a hot-button tween and teen concern like drinking, wet dreams, or shaving written on it, and has her son, now 15, pick one out every couple of weeks. The goal is to vary the level of mortifying subjects so they all get the same casual approach, says Kathy. "We call them Ten-Minute Topics
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