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The Internet is outraged at a video that’s quickly going viral in which a mother films her young son being spanked with a paddle by two employees at the child’s school . The video is distressing, as both child and mother, Shana Marie Perez, are clearly upset. It’s tough to watch, and if you choose to press play, please proceed with caution.
There’s a lot of anger to be felt when you see a video like this, and that anger is incredibly justified. The question many of us may be asking ourselves is, “How could someone let this happen?” And, more often than not, that question is directed at the child’s mother, who seemingly stood by and did nothing while her son was beat at school.
But things are not always as simple as they seem. The accompanying text to the video posted on Facebook makes it clear that Perez felt helpless to stop what was happening. She indicates that if she said they couldn’t do it, her son would be suspended, and if that happened, she would be jailed for truancy. We have no way of knowing whether that scenario would have played out if she had stopped the beating, but what’s important is that she believed it would.
Perez was faced with many parents’ worst nightmare: a situation in which she felt powerless to help her child. Georgia is one of 19 states that still allow corporal punishment in schools . And Georgia state law does not make it easy for a parent to opt out of corporal punishment for their child. The law states , “If a parent or guardian does not approve of the use of corporal punishment against their child, they must provide a written statement from a physician stating that it would be detrimental to the child’s health.”
Where our outrage should be directed when incidents like this happen is not at the parents who feel trapped and forced to let schools take action they don’t agree with but at the systems in place that make it difficult, if not impossible, for parents to advocate for their children. The process for a parent to opt out of corporal punishment for their child varies by state, and many parents may not even realize that its use is still allowed in their state. They may not know that they needed to think about opting out in the first place until it’s too late and they’re faced with a situation like Perez found herself in.
We send our children to school for them to learn, grow and, hopefully, be safe. We don’t expect that the school itself will be the place that administers harm or abuse to our children. But if we’re really outraged, we should be looking up the laws in our own states and working to change outdated and harmful laws where they still exist. Because we know better than we did 100 years ago, or even 50 years ago. Today we know that spanking is detrimental to a child’s health and well-being. We have better ways of handling children that we deem to be misbehaving.
No parent should be forced to have to watch their children endure a beating at the hands of the people tasked with keeping them safe. Now it’s on the rest of us to ensure it doesn’t happen again.
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My 13 year old son lives with his dad who has primary custody and I get him every other weekend. His dad has remarried and has been with his wife for 5 years. I found out my son has been bullying a special needs kid at school with a speech impediment. He got in school suspension for 3 days and when he came home from school, his stepmother spanked him. It was with her hand and there's no bruising but he told me it hurt a lot and I'm ****ing pissed. She also made him write an apology letter to the student and grounded him for 2 weeks with no electronics. His father works long hours so his stepmom feels entitled because she's a stay at home wife and she's with him more but it's not okay.

I'm very upset at what my son did and he absolutely deserved to be punished but this woman had no right to touch my kid. His father supports what she did and gave her permission and I'm ready to raise hell. I need her to learn her place as a stepparent NOT a parent.

19,719 posts, read 15,045,998 times

All of you, who are anti a little occasional swat on the behind, probably wonder why so many kids are taking guns into schools today and slaughtering other kids. All of this mamby pamby weak ass parenting has created a whole generation of kids who do not know right from wrong.

I was spanked when I deserved it, so were my two sons, and all of us turned out to be productive, honest, kind human beings with no mental scars to show for it. I knew when I got spanked I deserved it, and that it was done because I was loved.
In addition to being a bully, I suspect your son is also manipulative and knew exactly what it was cause when he ran to tell you his stepmom punished him.
No a step parent has zero rights to make decisions about a child’s welfare or discipline a child. Zilch, zero. none...
As a kid, if my shenanigans caused another woman that wasn't my mom to hit me as discipline....then I'd get whooped at home again a second time from my mom.
All of you, who are anti a little occasional swat on the behind, probably wonder why so many kids are taking guns into schools today and slaughtering other kids. All of this mamby weak ass parenting has created a whole generation of kids who do not know right from wrong.

I was spanked when I deserved it, so were my two sons, and all of us turned out to be productive, honest, kind human beings with no mental scars to show for it. I knew when I got spanked I deserved it, and that it was done because I was loved.
All of you, who are anti a little occasional swat on the behind, probably wonder why so many kids are taking guns into schools today and slaughtering other kids. All of this mamby pamby weak ass parenting has created a whole generation of kids who do not know right from wrong.

I was spanked when I deserved it, so were my two sons, and all of us turned out to be productive, honest, kind human beings with no mental scars to show for it. I knew when I got spanked I deserved it, and that it was done because I was loved.
The issue here is not a parent spanking his or her son. The issue here is a non parent a person not genetically related to the kid spanking him. If the father did it it would be a different story although the mother would still have a right to be upset and demand that it not happen again. If you put your hands on my child not in self defense and you are not his mother I am going to have a massive problem with it. Keep your ****ing hands to yourself.

17,150 posts, read 21,108,988 times

Spanking is very much illegal in some states. My ex would get jail time because he specifically signed an agreement the last time with the judge, that he would never do it again. And if he did, he would go to jail the next time.

Just because you want it to be ok, doesn’t make it right. spanking is child abuse. Prosecutable in many states.

28,077 posts, read 11,801,489 times

Spanking is very much illegal in some states. My ex would get jail time because he specifically signed an agreement the last time with the judge, that he would never do it again. And if he did, he would go to jail the next time.

Just because you want it to be ok, doesn’t make it right. spanking is child abuse. Prosecutable in many states.
Ok, wait. That's COMPLETELY different.

Your ex was in court, and the judge ordered him to quit beating kids.

That's different from the claim that spanking is illegal in a state - your ex was before a judge, and was told to cut it out. Meaning, it was a serious problem with him.

But yes, in general, I disagree with spanking. Sounds like your ex was in court because he took it way too far.

19,719 posts, read 15,045,998 times

I was never spanked as a child and turned out the same.
I was never spanked as a child and turned out the same.

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Son's stepmom spanked him for bullying (single parents, get married, mature, adult)

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Just as a biological parent who has custody and control over a child has the right to discipline a child in a reasonable manner, so too does a stepparent who stands in loco parentis to a child have the right to discipline a child in a reasonable manner. SeeMargaret M. Mahoney, Stepfamilies and the Law194-99 (1994).

This right is spelled out in many state statutes. For example, Ga. Code Ann. 16-3-20(3) (1992) provides:

The fact that a person's conduct is justified is a defense to prosecution for any crime based on that conduct. The defense of justification can be claimed . . . [w]hen the person's conduct is the reasonable discipline of a minor by his parent or a person in loco parentis.

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