Mmf Story

🛑 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻

Mmf Story

“Should I tell her the truth or just let her believe our MMF threesome would be my first time with a guy?” Plus, dream interpretation.



by
Dan Savage
June 18th, 2020 July 22nd, 2021
"I live in D.C. and want local news."
"Y'all are doing real local D.C. journalism."
" Washington City Paper has made me feel like I am part of the D.C. community."
I’m a 32-year-old straight guy. My wife and I have been married for four years and together for nine. We have a great marriage and all is well. We have been quarantining at home since March. During this time, we have been exploring things sexually, which has been really fun. We have also been talking more about our kinks and fantasies. One thing my wife really wants to try is an MMF threesome. I’ve agreed and she’s been talking about how hot it will be to make this happen once quarantine is over. She is particularly turned on by the fact that this would be my first sexual experience with another guy. The only issue is, in reality, it won’t be. The truth is that when I was in high school, a guy friend and I fooled around a few times. I have no regrets but those experiences only served to reaffirm that I preferred women. I never did anything with another guy and I never felt the need to mention these early experiences to my wife. She just assumed I had never had a same-sex encounter. Now I feel like I’ve misled her or lied to her somehow. Should I tell her the truth or just let her believe our MMF threesome would be my first time with a guy? —Nervously Omitted Homosexual Occurrences, Mostly Oral
If your wife reads my column, NOHOMO, then you’ve just told her the truth, and the advice that follows is moot. So here’s hoping she doesn’t read my column: You don’t have to tell your wife about the handful/mouthful of times you messed around with another guy in high school. If you’re like most straight guys with one or two cocks in your past, NOHOMO, I’m guessing you didn’t tell the wife because you didn’t want her to feel insecure or spend all her free time corresponding with advice columnists about whether her husband is secretly gay.
In fairness to the wife, NOHOMO, not every woman whose straight-identified male partner admits to a little same-sex messing around worries her boyfriend or husband is going to leave her for a dude or all the dudes. But this worry is common enough to be something of cliché. A straight guy doesn’t even have to admit to having sucked one dick one time for his wife or girlfriend to worry he’s secretly gay; I get at least one letter every day from a woman who’s worried her husband is gay because he likes to have his nipples played with or his butt touched or because he has feelings. So while it’s not ideal that straight or mostly straight guys don’t feel they can be honest with their wives about their long ago and far away same-sex experimentation, NOHOMO, it’s understandable that many straight guys err on the side of keeping that shit to themselves.
But your question isn’t, “Why didn’t I tell her then?” but rather, “Should I tell her now?” And I don’t think you have to. She wasn’t harmed by this omission—you didn’t deprive her of information she was entitled to—and disclosing now would only serve to deprive her of something, i.e., the excitement she feels about being there to witness what she thinks is your first same-sex encounter. —Dan Savage
My wife questions my use of the word gay as being potentially offensive and I’d like to get your take. I’m male and my male friends like to flirt and joke about performing sex acts on each other. We’ve never actually carried through with it but I consider myself on the “spectrum” and might be open to gay sex. My male friends and I say we’re being or acting gay (though we’re all practicing heterosexuals) and this is where my wife takes issue. For example, I might say, “We’re so gay!” in our conversations but the word is used in a positive way. My wife makes the point that the word has a history of being used negatively, so may be considered offensive, and should only be used casually by people who are more legit gay. Should I stop using the word gay this way? —Gay Poser
Jesus, just suck off one of your male friends already—just get it over with—and then you have my permission to keep using “gay” as a compliment, GP. —DS
I’m a 35-year-old seemingly straight man, but in the past year—roughly corresponding with the longest sex drought in the history of my adulthood—I have had recurring wet dreams where I suck myself off. Probably a dozen or so of these dreams, all up, and I very much enjoy both sides of the transaction. What do you think it means? Am I witnessing the stirrings of some latent bisexuality or am I just desperate? Should I heed the call? —Originally Unilateral Regarding Oral But Oneiromancy Reveals Opening Sexuality
I usually don’t allow elaborate signoffs, OUROBOROS, but I’m making an exception for yours because it’s brilliant. (To save my other readers the trouble of Googling: “oneiromancy” is the interpretation of dreams to predict the future and an “ouroboros” is an image of a snake swallowing its own tail, often used as an infinity symbol.) That said, I’m not sure there’s really any call to heed here—other than a call to start doing the kind of stretching that would allow you to suck your own cock if you were able to get limber enough and your cock were long enough. But a desire to suck one’s own cock—or even an attempt, successful or not—doesn’t mean a man is latently bisexual or gay. I assume you’ve been masturbating for more than two decades, OUROBOROS, and just as there’s nothing gay about all those handjobs you’ve given yourself, there’s nothing gay about the blowjobs you can only dream about giving yourself. —DS
I’m that rare gay man who doesn’t like sucking dick. It wasn’t hard for my VGL husband to find guys who wanted to blow him before quarantine and for years I didn’t ask about it because I didn’t want to know the details. But I knew he had videos on his phone of some guys blowing him that he sometimes watched and I recently asked to watch one and I was completely shocked. It wasn’t just a blowjob. He spat in the guy’s face, called him homophobic names, and was just generally brutal. The intensity and violence wasn’t something I’ve ever detected in my husband or been on the receiving end from my husband. When I pressed my husband he shrugged and said, “That’s how a lot of guys like it.” I’m not sure what to do. —Gay And Gloomy Guy Extremely Disturbed
I read your letter three times and I still can’t tell whether you’re appalled or jealous. Do you disapprove of your husband treating someone that way or are you disappointed that your husband has never treated you that way? If it’s the former, well, don’t watch any more videos of your husband throat fucking his subby cocksuckers. If it’s the latter (and I suspect it is), GAGGED, then you’re going to need to figure out how to articulate that clearly—something you failed to do in your letter—so you can tell your husband you’d like it like that, too. Not being used for oral like that, of course, since you don’t like performing oral sex. But maybe you’d like anal like that? —DS
Dear readers: This is gonna feel a little weird stuck on the end of this week’s column, I realize, but I wanted to say something about the protests all over the country and the world. While I haven’t been able to personally attend a Black Lives Matters protest over the last two weeks—I have deeply shitty lungs and I’m concerned about contracting coronavirus—I fully support everyone who has taken to the streets to protest the violence of systemic racism and the specific violence inflicted on black people by racist cops. And while I can’t be at the protests, my husband and I made a donation to bail funds across the country to help out people who were arrested. (You can donate at actblue.com/donate/bailfunds .) Please keep marching, please wear your masks (they work!), and please—please—make sure you and everyone you know is registered to vote. —DS
Email your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net
We don't have one. Readers like you keep our work free for everyone to read. If you think that it's important to have high quality local reporting we hope you'll support our work with a monthly contribution.


Events: A heads up about City Paper events, from panels to parties.


This site, like many others, uses small files called cookies to help us improve and customize your experience.


Remember me
Not recommended on shared computers




Shared her in an MMF, now I'm going crazy



now you guys know what it's like for a woman when a guy wants her to do a threesome with another woman.
Anyway, sorry to hear that it's gone so badly for you.
Congrats on 5 months of sobriety. That's a huge factor to leave out of your story.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Or sign in with one of these services


By
ottavit16, November 13, 2012 in Dating


I've been FWB with my exgf lately. In a many ways, it feels like an open relationship without a title. AFAIK, we've been exclusive for the last 6 weeks. But I suspect that's about to change... her "loyalty" was just tested the other night. Let me give some details.

Her and I "dated" over 6 months ago, started as LDR / FWB situation but she literally begged to be my gf. I had just come out of a really bad breakup (so had she) so I had real reservations, but decided to give it a shot. I thought I'd found "the one" - amazing cook, cleans, closer to my age (23 vs me, 2, and ****ing top notch sexually. Bisexual, anal, threesomes, BDSM, you name it, this girl's a freak. But between distance me going AFC (becoming too comfortable), she broke up with me. I realize that it was only infatuation, and I moved on.. or so I thought. I saw other women, I sharpened my game. 3 months of NC , then she moves to where I am, calls me to hang out, and before long we're ****ing.

We've been doing this for about 10 weeks. She always got hung up on the sex, attributing this mainly to having to hide it from her ex boyfriend before me - the "love of her life". He contacted her shortly after her and I broke up, and were planning to get back together. Two weeks ago she "broke up" with him (but remained in contact), and things definitely changed with her and I. Things got more intimate, less secretive, and she started coming over a lot more. The majority of time, she initiates contact/hangouts. Sex is getting better, and more frequent. I accept that like before, this is just a rebound and I should take it for what it is - companionship and sex.

I know that in the back of my mind I should not fall for her again. I'm trying to follow all this pua advice: respect myself first, let her bring 'what are we' up, don't get needy, give great sex... I had been trying to keep my emotions in check, and I've been pretty good at it until now... the events of last night have got me really thinking.

Long story short, we had an MMF threesome last night with a casual friend of mine (and hers lately). It was very weird for me at first seeing her penetrated by another guy, but after I got into it myself it was actually really hot. Well, to make things worse this is a guy she's had a big crush on (big blue eyes, and a big dick) so figuring she'd **** him sooner or later anyway, I decided to bring him in for the threeway. She's taking this as a green light to **** him on her own, although my actions have shown that this bothers me (the look on my face when she talks about it). The thing is, I'm really NOT okay with her ****ing him without me, and I'm not sure how to communicate this without coming off as insecure/jealous. Perhaps this is just a common fear people have in the aftermath of threesomes. How does this sound:

"Listen, what happened the other night was a lot of fun, but I'm really not okay with you and him ****ing around without me."

The stupid thing is, she should personally know better, since she was in my shoes once. In the past, she had a threesome with her then current boyfriend and a chick friend of his. Turns out that boyfriend broke up with her and started dating the other girl. Maybe I can use this to instill a bit of empathy?

Another thing she was talking about was this traveling friend of hers, another 3rd party we had considered for MMF. I asked her if she was planning to mess around with him, and shes like oh yeah, that's a possible relationship you know? This makes me think she's either a)trying to make me jealous or b)using me until someone with actual relationship potential comes along.

It made me feel physically ill. Sharing her with another guy, I admit was actually kind of fun. But aside from that, I want her all to myself. See, the biggest problem her and I had when we actually dated was the distance. I insisted to wait until it was a non-factor before actually dating, and we agreed to an "open relationship". Big ****ing surprise that failed. I turned into a chump and she found a new guy at work that she ended up dating over the summer (even bigger chump). Obviously now that distance isn't a factor, things are going pretty well. I never thought she'd ****can her other ex, considering their relationship, but she did.

Part of me wants to force the question, but I know better. You know.. "what are we"? On one hand, I think sometimes I am just being used. On the other, it seems she's genuinely quite fond of me, and getting very attached. The classic case of mixed signals. All I know is that at this moment, I've never wanted to be exclusive with her these last ten weeks as I do right now. I mean, it feels so much like a relationship already, right now it's like I wanna say "either **** this **** or we get back together and see if it works" but I know I can't. She dumped me, she has to bring it up. A female friend advised me that if I was serious about her, then to stop seeing other women... but from a PUA perspective, that seems counterproductive.

So I figure if nothing else, this is a good loyalty/trust test. If she starts ****ing the other guy, especially behind my back, she's getting the axe. I'll find out from him if I need to. Matter of fact, next time I see him I'm going to ask to see his text conversations with her. Then I'll know where I stand. In the meantime, I would really appreciate any encouragement/support/advice/critcism/insults on what I can do. It's really wracking my brain.
I would just leave her at this point...

On a related note, now you guys know what it's like for a woman when a guy wants her to do a threesome with another woman. Is the desire to realize a fantasy really worth it? Anyway, sorry to hear that it's gone so badly for you. I would just walk away from this and try to move on, and find someone you can have a less hard time with.
lol, use her as a piece of meat, but don't get into any sort of relationship with this chick.

I doubt you'll listen, but it can only go bad places. Find a chick worth dating that you don't have a shady history with.

On a related note, now you guys know what it's like for a woman when a guy wants her to do a threesome with another woman. Is the desire to realize a fantasy really worth it? Anyway, sorry to hear that it's gone so badly for you. I would just walk away from this and try to move on, and find someone you can have a less hard time with.

As a straight male, the only FFM I'd ever do is with two bisexual chicks so they can work each other over too. I don't want the pressure of FFM with two straight chicks. At least MMF can double as live-action porn.
Since when did 'loyalty' and ' FWB 's exist in the same sentence? You wanted a FWB /open relationship arrangement, and you're having one. End of story. If you're not happy with it, re-negotiate the terms, or leave your F-buddy.
I have to agree with this. You were owed no loyalty. You were not in a relationship. In a FWB situation, you are BOTH free to do who and what you want, or you just want to be the only one doing others?
Wow, I didn't expect so many replies so quick. Thanks for all the feedback.

Perhaps I am delusional if I really think she's been exclusive with me for the last 6 weeks or so - about when she started directly booty calling me. But she's upfront told me about her desires and intentions for other guys. Several weeks ago I got into a FFM-type situation with her and her best friend, J. I haven't slept with J since (I don't even want to, but I could), but we've been pretty close otherwise and J doesn't think there's been anyone else either.

I agree with the piece of meat vs relationship thing. I just have to get all my different sources of thinking up to par with it. I believe this girl is the type to rarely/never be single, so she treats any guy she's ****ing like a boyfriend. Which is where the mixed signals are likely coming from.

The whole "loyalty during FWB " thing is to see if she's worth any more kind of investment or not. If she can maintain loyalty and honesty then there's a possibility of salvaging an actual relationship down the road, but more than likely not.

As far as more threesome talk goes, a few days ago her straight female friend suggested a FFM with us. Everyone's on board, it's just a matter of when. You'd better believe I'm going to be pushing for that to happen ASAP.
To be fair, the agreement was: we're free to **** other people, but we have to tell each other if it happens. That was made about 6 weeks ago. Aside from my threesome with her and J, I haven't slept with anyone else - I did tell her if I went to visit my friend in NYC something might happen. She had another friend who was supposed to visit but cancelled and told me the same.

I'd like to re-negotiate the terms, but it would feel selfish at this point because now she HAS a good opportunity, and knowing the guy it won't last too long anyways. He basically just left his girlfriend of 8 months to try something with a different girl, so during the transition where he was single I invited him to the MMF. So I'll let it play out, and I see one of a few things happening:

1)Nothing changes. Her and I keep doing our thing, considering bringing him or another guy/girl into the bed here and there.

2)They start hooking up, but don't hide it from me. Eh...

3)They start hooking up, and she hides it and he admits. Peace, bitch.

4)They start hooking up and both hide it. See #3, except malice towards my friend as well.

I could play the petty games and just start going after J, but I respect myself at least enough to not do that.
You both sound so immature. Grow up and have an honest talk with her. She's a human being, not a chess piece that needs to be manipulated and judged by you. Talk to her or let her find someone with the balls to tell her how he feels and what he wants. Not a coward that wants her, but would rather seethe silently than to go after her.

very good point, any guy that asks for a threesome is basically asking for a permission to cheat and should be kicked to the curb.

I don't feel sorry for him at all, he got what was coming to him.
First off, I agreed to the threesome because it was HER fantasy to be in one where the focus was on her. She's had several FFM threesomes in the past, most of which turned out badly especially the one I mentioned in my last post. I wanted her to be pleased and have a great time.

Second, how many of you read that until 2 weeks ago, she was planning on getting back with her ex-boyfriend? Anything b
Dirty Talk Fuck Videos
Stpeach Ass
Bitter Tasting Vagina