Mmf Rape
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Mmf Rape
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.
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I've learned a lot. For example, double penetration is HARD.
Ah, the devil's threesome: the most controversial configuration of a ménage à trois. Two girls and one guy? The ultimate fantasy. But two guys and a girl? It's simply too much for some men to handle. Yet after a quick cursory search of MFM threesome porn on the internet, I can say with confidence that MFM clips have been watched, literally, tens of millions of times.
But for straight-identifying guys, there's still a taboo around the activity: specifically, that you must be secretly gay or bisexual if you want to have a threesome with another man. Which is kind of ridiculous, considering the same guys watch porn with other men in it all the time. (Unless you’re one of those dudes who ONLY watches lesbian porn.) No one considers it gay to watch another man have sex with a woman when it’s in porn, but when it’s in real life, it’s suddenly super gay?
Well, that's not necessarily the case. I've had bi MMF threesomes where all of us hook up with each other—notice these are called MMF and not MFM; the two M are together, indicating there's a potential for the guys to hook up, too. No surprise to anyone, but those encounters are undoubtedly queer . But I've also had MFM threesomes with straight men, where he and I aren't hooking up in any way, shape, or form. Those types of threesomes will be the focus of this piece.
You learn a thing or two about friendship, masculinity, and sex when you have a devil’s threesome. As someone who’s had more than his fair share of devil's threesomes in his lifetime, and somehow isn't burning in the fiery depths of hell for it, I’m going to share exactly what I've learned.
You are not the star of the show in a devil's threesome. Neither is your buddy. It's all about her and her desires. In fulfilling her desires, you’ll likely knock a few things off your own bucket list, too. It’s a win-win-win for everyone involved. If the sexual act is solely about you and your buddy, and “look at this crazy shit we’re pulling off,” she’s not going to like it. She’s going to feel like a prop.
When you watch MFM porn, it’s almost always incredibly rough. There’s a lot of pounding, spit roasting, choking, spitting, spanking, money shots, and all that good stuff. But there’s nothing inherently rough about a devil's threesome. I’ve had ones that are surprisingly tender, since that’s what the woman requested. She didn’t want to get double penetrated—she simply wanted someone to make love to her while the other guy makes out with her and caresses her nipples. It was a surprisingly sensual experience.
Speaking of double penetration, it is much harder than you think. First off, if one of you isn’t hung, it’s not going to happen. That guy won’t be able to help but slip out when thrusting. Typically, the best way to accomplish DP is having one guy just stay deep inside of the woman, while the other guy thrusts. The thruster’s movements will automatically move the non-thruster, so it’ll seem like you both are thrusting, when in actuality, the non-thruster is just trying to keep himself inside her vagina or anus.
Unless you’re DP masters, there’s usually one guy who’s doing the P-in-V, while the other guy plays a more passive (but equally important) role. He’s the one who's playing with her clit while the other guy does anal. Or he’s making out with her, sucking on her breasts, or simply holding her tightly. In MFM threesomes, you learn to appreciate all the other things besides strict penetrative intercourse. It’s a mindset you take with you when you go back to having one-on-one sex.
The straight men I’ve had a MFM threesome with, I've known for years. It wasn’t a random dude at the bar who was like, “Hey, we doing this?” I was best friends with these guys before we had a threesome, and we are still best friends now. I will say there is something—I’m not sure if intimate is the right word—but perhaps platonically intimate, about having a DT with a friend. Seeing how your buddy bones along with his orgasm face takes your friendship to the next level. How could it not?
I know I keep belaboring this point, but it’s because I know a bunch of you reading this article are still thinking, “Nah, this still sounds pretty gay.” The thing is, it can be, but only if you want it to be. If you find yourself really drawn to the man while he’s having sex, and not really caring about the woman involved, then I’d recommend reflecting on your sexuality . But if you simply find it hot watching or being with another man as he has sex with a woman, that’s not gay. That’s you getting turned on by people having sex because watching people having sex is undeniably hot!
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According to a small recent study, this type of ménage à trois is a lot more common than you think
“The Eiffel Tower is such a thing,” says Rachel* (names have been changed to protect sources' privacy), a 25-year-old recent college graduate. To be clear, Rachel isn't referring to the iconic Parisian landmark: she's referring to a slang term for a sex position where a woman is on all fours and giving oral sex to one man, while another man has sex with her from behind. What makes it an Eiffel Tower is when the two men high-five each other, forming the point of what is basically a squirmy, sloppy triangle. "It's one of the best parts," she gushes.
Rachel is polyamorous, which means she is in relationships with multiple partners — in this case, two men. They both know each other, and they're cool with Rachel having sex with each of them individually. Rachel says they're also turned on by the idea of “sharing” her, which means that occasionally, they'll all have sex at the same time.
Before she met her boyfriends, Rachel had had a few threesomes with other women. But guy-guy threesomes are a favorite of hers — and, Rachel adds, they are severely underrated. Being the “center of attention” and having the power to “call the shots” during sex with two men, Rachel says, is “the most empowering experience.”
Threesomes are a common fantasy : according to a 2016 Archives of Sexual Behavior study , 82 percent of heterosexual men and 31 percent of heterosexual women have fantasized about having a menage a trois at one point or another. While that study didn't specify what type of threesome people most often fantasized about, girl-girl-guy has typically been considered the gold standard of threesomes, with a separate study indicating that one in three men have fantasized about being in the middle of a two-lady sandwich. But that doesn't necessarily mean your partner will be into it. Morgan*, 24, hates girl-girl-guy threesomes because "the other girl isn't always that skilled at [giving me] pleasure,” she says. That's why she prefers having sex with two men at the same time .
Morgan, Rachel, and their partners aren’t alone in their love of MMF threeways. According to researcher Dr. Ryan Scoats of Birmingham City University, who got his PhD. studying threesomes , five of the 30 men he surveyed had had a threesome with a man. While that sample size is admittedly small, he told Broadly that he got the sense that while MMF threesomes would have been "more stigmatized" in the past, the men he polled "did seem comfortable telling at least their friends that they'd had an MMF threesome. I think because of the reduction of homophobia in general within society, this allows men to have these kinds of threesomes with no fear about what others are going to think of them for it." Scoats also cited previous research supporting the idea that straight, working-class guys in the United Kingdom are increasingly participating in " emotional intimacy and physical tactility " with each other.
The idea that straight men are becoming increasingly comfortable with same-sex experimentation isn't necessarily new. According to author and sociologist Jane Ward, who wrote Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (which famously spawned the phrase " bro jobs" ), it's not uncommon for straight dudes to engage in sexual acts with each other without self-identifying as gay or bisexual. Sexual fluidity, the idea that sexual orientation and attraction to a particular gender can ebb, flow, and change over time, is becoming more socially acceptable: while there's an idea that women are inherently more sexually fluid than men , Ward attributes this to “long-held beliefs about the fundamental difference between men and women that are not accurate.”
That doesn't necessarily mean that guy-guy-girl threesomes have to necessarily involve guy-on-guy contact (hence, the anxiety over " crossing swords ," or how the Lonely Island music video for " Threeway " — featuring the line "it's not gay if it's in a threeway" — became a cultural punchline). But even if two men are having sex with one woman at the same time and not interacting with each other at all, the MMF three-way is still highly stigmatized.
“I think there’s a stigma that men feel that if they engage in play with another man present, that it is gay or that it means they like men. While this may be the case [if the two men are gay], it doesn't have to be at all. It can just be about pleasure or an experience,” says Nicoletta Heidegger , a sexologist based in Los Angeles.
For Alex*, a heterosexual, 28-year-old freelance cinematographer, MMF threesomes aren’t about the other guy at all — and he’s had several, with different partners. “I love facilitating a girl’s fantasy of being with two guys," he says. “I enjoy doing my best to give her as much pleasure as possible, and then watching someone else extend the pleasurable experience for her." (Watching another dude have sex with your partner is actually a pretty common fetish: according to Pornhub Insights , searches for the term "cuckolding," or watching your wife have sex with another man, have increased substantially in the past few years.)
Alex thinks a lot of the stigma surrounding MMF threeways derives not just from "homophobia," but also from a “sense of ownership” of the woman involved. Which makes sense: if you're not turned on the idea of watching your partner have sex with someone else, group sex can often incite jealousy, no matter what the third party's gender is. That's why it's important to have an open conversation with your partner about your boundaries and your desires before having a threesome , regardless of who's invited into the mix.
FFM may be most couples’ go-to when venturing into the wide world of open relationships or group sex, but if you’re both into it, it's worth considering MMF as part of the rotation. “It’s rare for a girl to feel safe enough to ask, follow through, and allow you to be involved,” Alex says. But when it works, it can be a lot of fun for everyone involved. “If you think it’s hot, it’s hot,” Rachel says.
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