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Mistress Enjoying
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In some of the most depressing news of the day, cheating husbands have revealed exactly what they look for in a potential mistress.
Among the most important traits are a curvy figure, long hair and a woman who “takes care of her appearance.”
According to a survey by extramarital dating website Victoria Milan , cheating men are often attracted to a curvier physique when choosing a partner for an affair.
Of the 5,000 men who took part in the research, over 40 percent said that this was their preference, while 35.2 percent wanted someone “slim.”
Almost 30 percent like their mistress to “keep fit,” and a similar number said they were scouting for a woman who’s “elegant and stylish.”
Long hair has become more important to male adulterers, alongside taller ladies with “beautiful eyes” who are “petite.”
Unsurprisingly, 70 percent of the unfaithful men stated that physical appearance outweighs personality.
But they did say that they need to have some kind of rapport with the person they shack up with.
They’d like a mistress with a sense of humor, with 67.6 percent saying that a “funny woman” turns them on.
More than 50 percent called an “adventurous spirit” important, and the same number rated kindness. Shame they clearly aren’t demonstrating that quality when it comes to their wives.
Youth was a notable attribute for 45 percent of men, while 40 percent said they were looking for reliability (the irony) and romance.
Intelligence was only considered important by a third of those surveyed, and an “impulsive woman” ranked at 22.5 percent.
Around five percent mentioned maturity and generosity.
Sigurd Vedal, CEO of Victoria Milan, said: “Male stereotypes of women have evolved — it doesn’t matter anymore if they are curvy, slim or average size.”
“We all like healthy and fit people when dating, especially if the aim of the date is to find an extramarital affair.”
“These results show exactly how men’s physical preferences are now different and all types of women are represented in the survey.”
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10 Inevitable Things That Happen When You're A Mistress
Photo: Kate Kultsevych / shutterstock.com
By Callie C. — Written on Oct 14, 2021
Having spent over three years of my life hopelessly in love with someone who I was absolutely certain was my destined partner, I have come to realize some very important things about marginal versus true love.
If you've ever wondered what being a mistress is like, realize that this can happen to anyone.
I was an executive living in a sophisticated city. After many years of being single, I decided to focus on finding my perfect man. I wrote a fantasy list about what he might be like. A few months later, we met.
We had known each other in high school and were serendipitously reunited decades later by a technical fluke on LinkedIn. We had a harmless drink together while I was on a business trip. Drinks became dinner, with much laughter and reminiscing. It was love at first sight. Fate.
He never discussed his wife in the beginning. He had been married for almost 20 years. I never expected to become his mistress...
I ignored all the statistics and articles about affairs, rationalized my religious upbringing, and compromised every moral fiber in my body. It felt like everything I had held out for my entire life led to that one moment: when my dream guy told me of his definite plan to begin our new life together.
All the heartache seemed worthwhile until he disappeared without a word for weeks afterward.
In the end, it was all about selfishness, obsession, and greed on his part. A textbook cliché and a terrible mistake in hindsight, but when you are in your very first love bubble, you are completely irrational and absolutely blind.
There is no emotion on earth more powerful than falling deeply in love after waiting your whole life for "the one," your perfect match.
However, the bottom line is that the vast majority of the time, married men will not leave their wives , and they definitely won't leave their children or fortunes. If they do leave, statistics of success are unfavorable.
He may even admit it, and you will think it's just temporary as he is "in transition," but this disrespectful behavior will continue.
He will do what he needs to in order to keep the peace at home. After all, "it's complicated."
You may be his perfect "baby doll" and new best friend, but she's the mother of his children. That bond and history are like cement, especially if she's loyal and still loves him.
She controls the mood in the home and the happiness of his kids. He will not risk disruption of his children's development; they are his proudest achievement.
He will squeeze you in around agendas at work and precious moments with his family to make you feel important.
He will give you just enough charming calls, sexy texts, expensive dinners out, token gifts, cards and I love you's to keep you in tow for months, making you forget you are only on the sidelines of his life, not in the core.
He may even be bold enough to keep a corporate condo with you in an urban location so that he can have the best of both worlds. You might relocate your career for him thinking he's truly committed to you.
You will forget as you play "house" that you are just the mistress, not the Mrs . You have no rights to anything.
You will feel lonely as he spoils his family on birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Easter, long weekends, Christmas, and New Year's Eve. You may receive untraceable or consumable gifts in lieu of real time together.
Family vacations or excursions with his wife (if he even tells you about them) will be torturous as you are reminded you are nothing more than a secret.
You try harder to make him see what he has been missing when you welcome him back home. He will reinforce how much he's in love with you from the distance and time apart, and that he will tell his wife soon, so you stay.
You will eventually avoid interacting with certain friends and family as time in the affair bubble goes on, and it becomes harder and harder to lie to them about your dating situation. Why is a great girl like you still single? Have you met anyone? Are you being too picky?
You begin to question how "great" you really are for getting into such a shameful situation. But you have his keys, credit card numbers, passwords, and secrets.
You have come this far; surely he cannot live in duality for much longer. Life is about taking risks, especially for true love, right? Wrong.
If you think this is the first time he has stepped out of his marriage, think again. Embezzlers steal small amounts of money before they move up to stealing millions. Men cheat in different ways before they become comfortable with full-fledged affairs.
You might actually believe your situation is different and that you are special. You will waste valuable time waiting for a commitment that will never materialize.
Instead, you could be giving your heart to someone who includes you in his whole life, not just on the shady sidelines.
If you attempt to end the affair, he will let you go every time because he doesn't want to be "your gravity" in holding you back.
He will manipulate you with his tears, love letters, roses, and heart-wrenching voice messages. There will be more empty promises that he will finally talk to his wife, but know this: he will never leave her, his kids, or his money.
If you try to give him space to work on his marriage he may become concerned about your long-term loyalty. You return to him, hoping to prove you will be there when he leaves her. This situation is making you absolutely miserable when you are apart.
You beg him to tell his wife — she deserves to know! Your mood will become more volatile as you think of her at home waiting for him, innocent and unsuspecting. You want him to make the right choice without pressure.
This is just not right and you know it, yet you protect him anyway. Questioning him only upsets him, so you hide the pain and try not to complain.
Over time, your guilty subconscious mind may develop several anxiety-related conditions as you struggle with the duplicity of the affair. Somewhere along the line, that confident, intelligent woman disappeared. You won't recognize who you have become.
You'll feel trapped. You are truly in love with him and cannot be with anyone else, but he's not being loyal to you. He might suggest that you date other men (with a warning not to bring anything back) if your devotion becomes too much for him when his wife needs him at home.
A part of you will die every time you compromise and return to him when he says he can't live without you. Yet, in the end, he definitely can.
You will feel used and cheap when he finally tells you things "really aren't that bad" and that he "cannot reconcile" you with his obligations at home. You now know that he values his safe, predictable, wealthy lifestyle far more than living an open, honest new life with you.
Mistresses are like diamonds: sparkly, beautiful, and only worn for certain occasions. Wives are like water: needed every day to sustain the well-being of his family, relatives, financial and social status.
Wives are part of the core. Mistresses are marginal. Both women are kept in the dark.
You finally pack up and walk out the door for good, realizing this situation is like an infinity circle making you unfocused in all areas of your life. You are on the road to healing but be warned: Once a married man cheats, he's very likely to do it again .
He may complain to you he's sexually frustrated and lonely as you stand your ground and send him back to his wife. He may even claim he made a mistake by letting you go.
You want him to make an honest woman out of you, so you remain resolute. You cry hard because you miss him so much.
You have just one small ounce of hope left for a future together, but the void of frequent sex and attention will not work for him. Be prepared to find out one day he has slyly moved on to someone even more of a fool than you were. He may hint he "plans on staying young for a long time" and that he feels sorry for you.
If he's willing to abuse his position of power at work, his new trustworthy target will likely be an ambitious, amorous, and naive young girl who he can mentor, promote, and travel with undetected on the company tab.
His guilt, if any, will be short-lived for wasting your time should you happen to find him out. After all, you were a part of it and you knew what you were getting into. Don't be surprised if your thoughtful gifts are thrown away and you are completely ignored while his new playmate feeds his ego.
After enough time spent being a mistress, suddenly, you will realize with full force and momentous magnitude that you have wasted years of your life for literally... nothing.
You will be paralyzed with shock and in complete disbelief that the man who was once so crazy in love with you replaced you in a New York minute.
Your relationship was nothing more than a pattern of behavior, and not true love at all. Any beautiful memories of intimate moments you once cherished believing he stayed "for the kids" will be cheapened by his new affair choice.
You now know you were just a blip, a mere highlight in his life, while he was everything in yours. Unless you are blessed enough to meet a kind, honest, and patient man, your journey of recovery will be long.
Most friends will have little empathy for women like you. Some will quietly think you got what you deserved, while others will suddenly be very busy when you need that shoulder to cry on. You will be judged and alone.
The time it will take to redirect your derailed life may be much longer than the time you actually spent in the relationship. The memories will haunt you. The mental anguish and humiliation will age you.
Not one doctor will be able to diagnose the phantom pains in your body. You now realize this was never about "fate," but about choice.
My strong advice: Don't get involved with a married man for any reason. Leave him and never look back.
Remember: If he can cheat with you, he can cheat on you. It takes a special kind of "man" to look his wife in the eye, then tell her that he loves her while living a separate life with another woman.
He's a coward and a liar — a selfish, arrogant, duplicitous adulterer with no conscience who exploits genuine love and trust. He's not worth another moment of your precious time. Better never to have loved and lost, than ever to have loved him at all.
Callie C. is a writer who covers heartbreak and love.
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February 8, 2022 January 19, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?
Website : Thenarcissisticlife.com Written by Alexander Burgemeester Email : thenarcissisticlife@gmail.com Company : AMB Media registered in The Netherlands Medically reviewed : All content is medically reviewed by Alexander Burgemeester KVK : 54668158 Address : Blauwvoetstraat 41 1061 BM, Amsterdam The Netherlands
Do married men miss their mistresses? Of course they do. Men are wildly attracted to their mistresses. They enjoy their company, the sex is great, and if they could get away with it, they’d spend a lot more time with their mistresses.
Unfortunately, they can’t because they’ve got other commitments. They have a wife and in some cases children which makes for a very complex situation.
If you’re reading this, I can only assume it’s because you’ve fallen for a married man and you’re not quite sure how he really feels about you. If you are looking for some more insight into this question, keep reading.
After being a mistress for months, and in some cases years, she’s most probably heard on more than one occasion that he’s going to leave his wife.
But time just keeps ticking, he’s getting his cake and eating it, while the mistress is getting frustrated with his broken promises. It seems that he has a different excuse every year. The mistress starts feeling betrayed, and eventually, she calls it quits.
She may break up with him in the hopes that he’ll be so lost without her, he’ll leave his wife and come running back.
But that doesn’t happen. A man will experience several emotions when his mistress leaves him. How will he feel? Will a married man miss the romantic relationship he had with his mistress?
He will feel confused because he’s in love with two women, and now one of them has left.
Reading Suggestion: 16 Communication Exercises for Couples to Improve their Communication
She most likely left because he wouldn’t commit, so the question is what does he do? Does he leave his wife to be with the other woman, or does he stay with his wife?
He knows he has a very important decision to make, but he literally feels stuck.
No matter how bad a man’s marriage is, having an affair is stressful. You’re always lying, you’ve got to remember the lies you’ve told.
Some men end up spending money they don’t have to fund the extravagant lives of their mistresses. The list is endless; some men can do this effortlessly, and sleep peacefully at night, others can’t.
Additionally, when men have affairs, it’s not always because they hate their wives, they love them and don’t want to hurt them, so when the relationship ends, it’s also a relief because his wife never found out.
If he wanted the relationship to end, he would have ended it. Having an affair comes with a lot of complications, there are so many things to take into consideration.
Divorce is expensive, he risks losing half of his assets, then there’s child support, he may even lose his house. If he’s weighed up these risks and decided leaving is not worth it, he’ll try and stay with his mistress for as long as possible.
Trust and do believe that he weighed up all his options long before he even met you. The moment he decided that he wanted to have an affair, he had already made up his mind that he would never leave his wife.
So when he was giving you all those excuses, he knew full well they were excuses. Nevertheless, he will still feel sad that things didn’t turn out differently between you.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “men are from venus and women are from mars.” Our brains are literally different, men compartmentalize their thoughts and feelings, women don’t.
A lot of women complain that their men are emotionally unavailable. That’s because men don’t acknowledge their thoughts and feelings until they’re ready to deal with them.
For example, when a woman leaves the house to go to the store, she’ll phone her partner on the way to talk about something that happened between them two weeks ago.
She’ll be thinking about what she’s going to make for dinner, how she’s going to style the kids’ hair for the birthday party, and anything else that comes to mind. But once a man leaves the house to go to the store, all he’s thinking about is what he needs to buy from the store.
He may plan how to bypass the long queues, or think about parking, but all his thoughts are centered on going to the store.
What am I trying to tell you? When a man leaves his mistress to go back to his wife, he files her in one of the many compartments in his brain until he can make plans to see her again.
He’ll start thinking about his mistress when he knows they’re going to meet up; in fact, he’ll get obsessive. He’ll think about the restaurant he’s going to take her to, the lingerie he’s going to buy her, and the wild sex they’re going to have.
Sometimes. It depends on the situation. If he had strong feelings for her, it won’t be easy to cut off the relationship just like that.
He may keep going back to his mistress while he tries to work out his feelings. But going back doesn’t necessarily mean he’s staying, sometimes, it’s because he’s sitting on the fence and isn’t quite sure what to do.
If the man you’re having an affair with hasn’t told you he loves you, you’re probably wondering if that’s the case. Here are 16 signs that your married partner is in love with you:
At the beginning of the relationship, he was all about taking a shower before he left you so his wife wouldn’t smell another woman on him.
He would leave early to ensure he beat the traffic, cancel meetings with you because he had to attend a fam i ly gathering, or refuse to answer the phone when she called.
But now he just doesn’t care. He knows what he wants, and he’s adopted
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