Missionary Hard

Missionary Hard

What is hard about life as a missionary?

It varies from field to field, and also from person to person. I personally live in Europe, so some of the hardest things for me have been emotional rather than physical. I miss my family. I miss Chicago pizza!
However, I think the hardest thing for me on the field is coping bi-culturally. I feel that I do fine here, but going back, or dealing with people from home is really strange. I’ve changed. I’ve become a different person over here in Europe, because I have to.
But the people back home have never seen that side of me and so that’s difficult. I have to straddle two cultures that have such different worldviews about war and peace, government, taxes, family, and religion.
For some the difficulty may lie instead in physical matters, like living in some parts of Africa. Others may wrestle with their co-workers.
Most missionaries would tell you that all the changes are hard: new country, new language, new food, new culture, new “norms” and values. Of all the things I’ve found the hardest and seen more people struggle with is adaptation to a whole new “world” (all at once).
If you go into your overseas assignment with the attitude of “this is my home now … I need to learn how to live here,” you’ll do well. Resist the urge to compare everything with the way you prefer to do things or the way things are in your home country. To borrow a well-known line: “We’re not in Kansas anymore.”
If you’ll choose to become part of the lives of those you’re ministering to and learn to accept differences, you’ll have a better chance of being effective than if you hold on yourself and your way of doing things.
Remember Paul’s words and become all things to all men. By surrendering your culture and comfort, and learning to assimilate to your new “home” culture, you’ll find it easier to adapt.
Answer from Beth, who has served for six years in Africa.
The hardest thing about living on the mission field is probably getting along with the other missionaries. At times you may be stuck with these people 24/7. Sometimes there are great people that you can get along with easily, but almost invariably there are also people that, to you, may seem almost impossible.
You may find out that some people are cheap, selfish, and have a very different outlook on life that you do. One of them may beat you up or attack you … I’m not kidding. You may not “fit in” with the group but unfortunately you have no other place to go.
God can use that to get you even more involved with the nationals and sharing the gospel with them!
Ultimately you may realize that the tolerance that was so hard for you to offer others was also given to you by them, as well. Because, you see, you’re not such a saint yourself.
Answer from R., who has been a missionary for two years.
When I left for the field, I predicted we would be forgotten within six months. I was wrong. It was two months! Except for an occasional email directed to the entire church, we received an email here and there. Birthdays and anniversaries were forgotten.
Even though we sent updates via email every month, very few people responded to them.
But perhaps God knew that I was a “people person” and required a feeling of loyalty and support. Perhaps by not getting it, he taught me to depend only on him. It worked! We have a great ministry. If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it!
Answer from Jack, who has served in the Philippines for thirty-seven years.
Editor’s note: Don’t be discouraged by the many potential challenges… nobody has to face them all!
Answer from Jack Voelkel, former missionary-in-residence with the Urbana Student Mission Convention; originally published on the Urbana website. Previously, Jack served thirty years with Latin America Mission in Peru and Colombia.
Recommended by the AskaMissionary staff.
© 2020 Askamissionary.com - Great resources for joining what God is doing around the world.

What is hard about life as a missionary?

It varies from field to field, and also from person to person. I personally live in Europe, so some of the hardest things for me have been emotional rather than physical. I miss my family. I miss Chicago pizza!
However, I think the hardest thing for me on the field is coping bi-culturally. I feel that I do fine here, but going back, or dealing with people from home is really strange. I’ve changed. I’ve become a different person over here in Europe, because I have to.
But the people back home have never seen that side of me and so that’s difficult. I have to straddle two cultures that have such different worldviews about war and peace, government, taxes, family, and religion.
For some the difficulty may lie instead in physical matters, like living in some parts of Africa. Others may wrestle with their co-workers.
Most missionaries would tell you that all the changes are hard: new country, new language, new food, new culture, new “norms” and values. Of all the things I’ve found the hardest and seen more people struggle with is adaptation to a whole new “world” (all at once).
If you go into your overseas assignment with the attitude of “this is my home now … I need to learn how to live here,” you’ll do well. Resist the urge to compare everything with the way you prefer to do things or the way things are in your home country. To borrow a well-known line: “We’re not in Kansas anymore.”
If you’ll choose to become part of the lives of those you’re ministering to and learn to accept differences, you’ll have a better chance of being effective than if you hold on yourself and your way of doing things.
Remember Paul’s words and become all things to all men. By surrendering your culture and comfort, and learning to assimilate to your new “home” culture, you’ll find it easier to adapt.
Answer from Beth, who has served for six years in Africa.
The hardest thing about living on the mission field is probably getting along with the other missionaries. At times you may be stuck with these people 24/7. Sometimes there are great people that you can get along with easily, but almost invariably there are also people that, to you, may seem almost impossible.
You may find out that some people are cheap, selfish, and have a very different outlook on life that you do. One of them may beat you up or attack you … I’m not kidding. You may not “fit in” with the group but unfortunately you have no other place to go.
God can use that to get you even more involved with the nationals and sharing the gospel with them!
Ultimately you may realize that the tolerance that was so hard for you to offer others was also given to you by them, as well. Because, you see, you’re not such a saint yourself.
Answer from R., who has been a missionary for two years.
When I left for the field, I predicted we would be forgotten within six months. I was wrong. It was two months! Except for an occasional email directed to the entire church, we received an email here and there. Birthdays and anniversaries were forgotten.
Even though we sent updates via email every month, very few people responded to them.
But perhaps God knew that I was a “people person” and required a feeling of loyalty and support. Perhaps by not getting it, he taught me to depend only on him. It worked! We have a great ministry. If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it!
Answer from Jack, who has served in the Philippines for thirty-seven years.
Editor’s note: Don’t be discouraged by the many potential challenges… nobody has to face them all!
Answer from Jack Voelkel, former missionary-in-residence with the Urbana Student Mission Convention; originally published on the Urbana website. Previously, Jack served thirty years with Latin America Mission in Peru and Colombia.
Recommended by the AskaMissionary staff.
© 2020 Askamissionary.com - Great resources for joining what God is doing around the world.

Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 29, 2021
The missionary position is one of the most basic sex positions . The term started back in the late 1960s or early 1970s. It was used to describe heterosexual intercourse in which the man is on top and the woman is on the bottom, both facing each other. Today, the term has a broader and more inclusive meaning that goes beyond heterosexuality.
In this position, one partner is on top of the other so that they are face to face. The penetrating partner, or the one who’s on top, usually has more control than the partner underneath them.
The missionary position requires a partner. Generally, this position is described as having the female partner lying flat on her back with the male partner on top, facing her.
It can be done in a similar way even if the couple isn’t heterosexual. One partner lies flat on their back and the other can be on top of them, facing them. This creates close contact between the partners for either vaginal or anal penetration.
The partner on top is between the legs of the partner on the bottom. Because of this, the partner on top usually has more control when it comes to speed and depth of penetration. But the partner on the bottom can also change the position of their hips and legs to create different sensations for both partners.
The partner on top can prop themselves up on their arms, or they can lie down a bit and put more of their weight on their partner.
As popular as it may be, even the missionary position has some myths and misconceptions surrounding it.
The missionary position might be one of the most intimate sexual positions you can try with a partner.
Since you’re face to face, you can maintain eye contact with them throughout intercourse . As both partners are quite close, this means that you can easily kiss or touch your partner and maintain skin-to-skin contact.
This position remains popular because it is low-effort and does not require a lot of skill or experience. It’s comfortable and not intimidating. And since one partner is lying down and doesn’t need to move much, it can be relaxing.
The missionary position is defined as the penetrating partner on top of the partner being penetrated. But there are different ways that you or your partner can position yourselves to create different sensations and angles.
For example, the partner on the bottom can rotate their hips up or down to create different points of stimulation. They can also try adding a pillow under their bottom, which creates deeper penetration. Many couples find that starting in the missionary position can lead to trying other positions throughout intercourse.
If you want to try the missionary position with your partner, the first thing you need to do is talk with them. This position is quite intimate, so both you and your partner need to be on board.
This position is so popular because it’s one of the easiest to do. But if you have back pain , you may want to be the one lying on your back. If you can, hold your legs at a 90-degree. This can help keep your back muscles relaxed.
Bedsider: “10 ways to make missionary position feel amazing.”
Dictionary.com: “missionary position.”
Current Anthropology : “Missionary Positions: Christian, Modernist, Postmodernist.”
Cosmopolitan: “5 Blissful Sex Positions for When You Have Back Pain.”
Sexual Health Resource: “Sex Positions - Photos, Tips & New Ideas.”
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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By Kelsey Patterson
- October 2, 2018 02:37 pm EDT

Missionary is a welcomed classic for most couples, but it isn't the most exciting of bedroom motions.
It has its perks — ideal for kissing, boosts intimacy , allows for easy access — but it also comes with its fair share of downfalls.
Guy-on-top gives women little to no external stimulation ( needed for orgasm! ) and the routine and predictability of it makes for a less-than-thrilling night of passion after a while. But for such a famed position, it's time to solve missionary's issues and get back to having some fun with the motion!
From breaking down penis-related woes to finally giving the woman a big O, these top guy-on-top position problems have been solved and will certainly add some fun back into your sex life.
Depending on your height difference and body types, the angle for missionary might cause more problems than pleasure. For ladies, if you aren't getting the direct clitoral and G-spot stimulation you need, there's no way sex will be more than 'fine.' And for guys, there's a risk you might fracture your penis if you don't have the PiV angle just right.
Making some position adjustments can quickly solve this sexual dilemma. He can try shifting up higher with his arms in an extended pushup position or can lower down for a closer squeeze.
She can also play around with the position of her legs to switch up the sensations. Try guy-on-top with her legs wrapped tightly around his body, with her legs over his shoulders or with her knees on her chest and feet on his chest.
Once you've tried them all, you'll find the proper fit for your bodies and can keep up the missionary work.
When he's working up a sweat, at least that's a sign he's dedicated to the act of pleasure. But when sign of hard work drips onto her face, it becomes way less sexy.
If this happens, just pull him down so his head rests past your neck and onto the pillow under your head. While he's down there, tug on his hair or rub your hands on his back to disguise the little sweat-swatting trick. It eliminates embarrassment and wipes away the pellets without the need to pull out or pause the action.
One of the perks of missionary is the closeness and intimacy it provides, but for some, the constant eye contact is too much to handle.
If you feel like you're part of an impromptu staring contest during the act, it's okay to close your eyes for a bit to let yourself sink into focusing on your body's pleasure.
The face-to-face closeness also gives you the chance to make out while you do the deed — a perk not many other positions have. Spend some time enhancing the sexual energy by passionately kissing your partner, gently gnawing on their lips or playing around on nearby erogenous zones like the neck or shoulders.
These sexy little actions will up the pleasure and alleviate any awkwardness of starting at each other through each thrust.
Guy-on-top suggests that the guy will be the one doing the work, but after a few minutes of action, it's not uncommon for a woman to feel a little left out of the equation. Sometimes, she should just lay back and relax during the sexual pampering session, but other times, she can get in on the missionary action herself.
When he's at a higher angle, the woman on the bottom can get more active in simultaneous thrusting or she can roll her hips to initiate more clit play. It's easiest if she props a pillow under her pelvis as she'll have some extra room to move around and explore new, sexy sensations.
Guys will say, "Why is this a problem?" but any lady who's had a peen on the larger side knows it isn't all fun and orgasms.
If he's well-endowed, have him lift with his arms in a pushup-style position to ease up on the depth of penetration. He can also lean back a bit so he's entering more gently and with purpose, not just thrusting without a care.
But the reality is that most above-average guys can fit into a normal-sized vagina if she is fully aroused . If not, though, it's very possible that he'll seem too big to fit or intercourse will hurt or cause bleeding or tearing. Fortunately, a little lube and some foreplay makes this a pretty easy fix.
If he's a little shorter down below, there are easy fixes to give a woman the sensation of being filled up during missionary.
Use a pillow ( having one or two designated for bedroom play is a smart move) under her pelvis to lift the hips and squeeze in the vaginal canal. It'll make her seem tighter on his shaft and he'll better fill her during the act, better stimulating her pleasure-sensitive nerve endings.
After a while, missionary still feels good but the routine of it can become predictable and make the whole act a little less sexy.
Spice it up with some tweaked variations on the go-to position, all thought up with the idea to maximize your pleasure. (These expert-level moves will give you some major inspiration, or have fun experimenting with your own risque ideas.)
Finding a new way to stimulate your senses can give you that feels-like-the-first-time sex feeling you were thrilled by years ago.
For many women, missionary is the ideal way to feel connected to your partner and ignite pleasure, but it isn't as good as other positions (like girl-on-top ) for sending her over the edge for orgasm .
Adding a couples toy can add in some needed clitoral stimulation to help build her orgasm, but the coital alignment technique is one you'll want to master for truly toe-curling missionary every single time.
To make it happen, line your chests up, then have him move up a bit higher so his chest is near her shoulders. She'll bend her legs to a 45 degree angle, tilting her hips up (using a pillow, if needed), before you begin slower, rhythmic motions.
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