Miss Dick
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Miss Dick
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Eduardo Franco - Miss My Dick Lyrics
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Dragon shirt, camping vest, marrow boots, they're the best
Lauryn Hill swaggin' playin' suckers like a game of chess
Pants sagging, cargo pocket packing heat, no Smith and Wes
Mess with the balisong
Let's take a trip and ride along
Bags packed, I got the bong
Cheefing on some Tommy Chong
Oh my god, now what is wrong?
I think I chopped my f*cking dong
Yeah it's true if you ain't noticed
6 foot 1 two balls with no dick
What the f*ck, I don't deserve this
Chopped my dick, not on purpose
And Sean is out here nature twerking
Donnie's drunk and Sarah's mad
Becky's pissed at mom and dad
Trying to throw a party
After breaking up with f*cking Chad
Now I'm here, with no dick
I pray to god and still no dick
Stomach sick
I'm feeling nauseous
Suicide, I might see you with dolphins
I can't keep swimming
I gotta give up any chance with a woman
They say why you laugh?
This isn't a joke if mothers like this shit I'm missing my pole
Highly unlikely I'll ever recover
So do me a favor
Don't ask me just don't
I ain't got a dick but it don't mean shit
I can still smoke weed
I can still get lit
And if you're staring at my crotch might as well take a pic
All the ladies come and flock 'cause they miss my dick
I miss my dick (4)
I miss it
Balls wrapped in rubber bands
Ready to die just like a cramp
Red lobster, helicopter
Pick me up, went to the hospital
Doctor says, "impossible I have to sew your popsicle"
Life is full of obstacles
But this shit can't really be possible
Like the way that I lost my dick
Doctor says too late, can't fix
Tell me, how could it be like this?
Yo, dog, think of something quick
Tell me how am I gonna f*ck my bitch
How am I gonna live my life without my dick
Can I get a boner? What about Organ donors? Put me on a wait list
Doc says face it
You shouldn't play with knives
Bitch this ain't a knife
This is a balisong and you're gonna f*cking die if you don't fix my broken dong
Imma chop your f*cking balls
Get it right next time
This not a knife bitch
This is a balisong
I tried to tell you once
I don't wanna tell you twice
Major case of blue balls cooking
I'll be cumming rice
By the time that I get it back
Too late now, it's in his hands
Homies punked a redneck
They said, "nah, boy, you getting jack"
I ain't got a dick
But it don't mean shit
I can still smoke weed
I can still get lit
And if you staring at my crotch might as well take a pic
All the ladies come and flock 'cause they miss my dick
I miss my dick (4)
I miss it
[Thanks to geraldineriverotaya for adding these lyrics]
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
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11:37PM Thursday, September 1st, 2022
A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content (including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out. Sometimes our articles will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive revenue from affiliate and advertising partnerships for publishing this content or when you make a purchase.
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2022. All times AEST (GMT +10). Powered by WordPress.com VIP
More stories to check out before you go
Nearly 40 years on from one of his most memorable on-air moments, Sandy Roberts still hasn’t lived down his Miss Australia gaffe.
It’s been 38 years but there’s not a second of hesitation when Sandy Roberts gets asked about a moment he’d much rather forget.
The legend of Australian sports broadcasting could commentate paint drying and still keep people interested he was that good behind a microphone. Unfortunately, a resume boasting experience at eight Summer Olympics, three Winter Olympics, hundreds of AFL games and the seamless transition across a range of other sports including golf, tennis and racing won’t erase the memory of one slip of the tongue in 1983.
Kayo is your ticket to the best local and international sport streaming Live & On-Demand. New to Kayo? Try 14-days free now >
Roberts, who worked at Channel 7 for more than 30 years after joining the network following the 1980 Moscow Games, was hosting coverage of the races at the Mt Gambier Cup in South Australia.
Everything was going fine until an off-the-cuff interaction with 1981 Miss Australia winner Leanne Dick — as he explained on the latest episode of sportscaster Mark Howard’s podcast The Howie Games .
“You know what it was. I wish it would go away but it won’t. It’s 38-years-old,” Roberts laughed after being asked by Howard’s daughter about his biggest on-air “stuff-up”.
He went on to explain how each year Mt Gambier would invite a celebrity guest to its biggest racing day on the calendar, often the winner of a prestigious beauty pageant, and in 1983 that guest happened to be Dick.
Roberts pre-recorded an interview with her that went smoothly then fronted the cameras in the mounting yard around all the horses preparing to run.
The iconic TV star introduced his interview with Dick, which went to air but just before the hurdle race things took a turn.
“When you’re hosting in a mounting yard it’s tough because your lead could go at any time, or your mic,” Roberts told Howard.
“All of a sudden there was a bit of movement and I noticed a vet had come out. Anyway, a horse had thrown a plate so they informed us in my earpiece, the director (said), ‘We’ll go to a break and assess the situation’. No dramas.
“We went to a break and they were still mucking around with the horse and the producer said, ‘Just grab another interview would you and fill the minutes’.”
Roberts looked around but there was nobody nearby — except for Dick, who he’d already spoken to. But with just seconds to go before returning to air, and with no other options, he had to go back for round two.
“This is what I said: ‘Welcome back to picturesque Glenburnie racecourse here in Mt Gambier. Still with us is Miss Australia, Leanne C**k … err, Dick’. My life changed forever then.
“It didn’t take long (for the gaffe to spread around the world). American Funniest Home Videos, British Funniest Home Videos (picked it up).”
Howard reminded Roberts of another classic blooper from his decades of broadcasting that cracked plenty of people up. Presenting the news one night, he got a little mixed up when telling viewers daylight saving time was about to kick in.
“Before I say goodnight don’t forget put the clocks back and watches back one hour, before you go to bed tonight,” Roberts said at the time. “In fact, don’t put them back one hour, put them forward one hour. That’s how confused I am about daylight savings.”
Laughing about it with Howard, Roberts remembered the floor manager communicating just in time to set things straight.
“You could see my eyes dart over to him — ‘Not back, forward!’” Roberts said.
Aussie basketballer Ben Simmons and British television personality Maya Jama were unable to make their relationship work.
Two riled-up spectators were escorted out of a baseball game after allegedly engaging in a sex act in the venue’s upper tier.
A former child star has shown off his incredible body transformation with photos that show him looking nothing like he once did.
11:37PM Thursday, September 1st, 2022
A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content (including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out. Sometimes our articles will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive revenue from affiliate and advertising partnerships for publishing this content or when you make a purchase.
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2022. All times AEST (GMT +10). Powered by WordPress.com VIP
More stories to check out before you go
Nearly 40 years on from one of his most memorable on-air moments, Sandy Roberts still hasn’t lived down his Miss Australia gaffe.
It’s been 38 years but there’s not a second of hesitation when Sandy Roberts gets asked about a moment he’d much rather forget.
The legend of Australian sports broadcasting could commentate paint drying and still keep people interested he was that good behind a microphone. Unfortunately, a resume boasting experience at eight Summer Olympics, three Winter Olympics, hundreds of AFL games and the seamless transition across a range of other sports including golf, tennis and racing won’t erase the memory of one slip of the tongue in 1983.
Kayo is your ticket to the best local and international sport streaming Live & On-Demand. New to Kayo? Try 14-days free now >
Roberts, who worked at Channel 7 for more than 30 years after joining the network following the 1980 Moscow Games, was hosting coverage of the races at the Mt Gambier Cup in South Australia.
Everything was going fine until an off-the-cuff interaction with 1981 Miss Australia winner Leanne Dick — as he explained on the latest episode of sportscaster Mark Howard’s podcast The Howie Games .
“You know what it was. I wish it would go away but it won’t. It’s 38-years-old,” Roberts laughed after being asked by Howard’s daughter about his biggest on-air “stuff-up”.
He went on to explain how each year Mt Gambier would invite a celebrity guest to its biggest racing day on the calendar, often the winner of a prestigious beauty pageant, and in 1983 that guest happened to be Dick.
Roberts pre-recorded an interview with her that went smoothly then fronted the cameras in the mounting yard around all the horses preparing to run.
The iconic TV star introduced his interview with Dick, which went to air but just before the hurdle race things took a turn.
“When you’re hosting in a mounting yard it’s tough because your lead could go at any time, or your mic,” Roberts told Howard.
“All of a sudden there was a bit of movement and I noticed a vet had come out. Anyway, a horse had thrown a plate so they informed us in my earpiece, the director (said), ‘We’ll go to a break and assess the situation’. No dramas.
“We went to a break and they were still mucking around with the horse and the producer said, ‘Just grab another interview would you and fill the minutes’.”
Roberts looked around but there was nobody nearby — except for Dick, who he’d already spoken to. But with just seconds to go before returning to air, and with no other options, he had to go back for round two.
“This is what I said: ‘Welcome back to picturesque Glenburnie racecourse here in Mt Gambier. Still with us is Miss Australia, Leanne C**k … err, Dick’. My life changed forever then.
“It didn’t take long (for the gaffe to spread around the world). American Funniest Home Videos, British Funniest Home Videos (picked it up).”
Howard reminded Roberts of another classic blooper from his decades of broadcasting that cracked plenty of people up. Presenting the news one night, he got a little mixed up when telling viewers daylight saving time was about to kick in.
“Before I say goodnight don’t forget put the clocks back and watches back one hour, before you go to bed tonight,” Roberts said at the time. “In fact, don’t put them back one hour, put them forward one hour. That’s how confused I am about daylight savings.”
Laughing about it with Howard, Roberts remembered the floor manager communicating just in time to set things straight.
“You could see my eyes dart over to him — ‘Not back, forward!’” Roberts said.
Aussie basketballer Ben Simmons and British television personality Maya Jama were unable to make their relationship work.
Two riled-up spectators were escorted out of a baseball game after allegedly engaging in a sex act in the venue’s upper tier.
A former child star has shown off his incredible body transformation with photos that show him looking nothing like he once did.
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